Chapter Text
“You’re very welcome, Dean. And thank you, I will look into it immediately,” Castiel said and got up from the couch and made his way up to his room.
He was glad to get out of the difficult situation Dean had exposed him to. Their proximity was arduous to cope with these days. Truth be told, it was beyond him what Dean could have found that was so important, and he was just glad HE hadn’t been found out. It would be tremendously horrific if Dean ever learned the full truth. How would he react? He did not even want to imagine.
One day, he feared, his body would betray him again, and Dean would finally notice. It pained him that he had no control over its reactions ever since he had become human. The overall heightened body temperature, the consistent blush on his cheecks, the staring. The last thing was the most ridiculous one, because he had always done this, but it had never had such an impact on himself before. It was nerve-wracking. He could feel his hands starting to get sweaty, hear the blood rushing in his ears. How did humans live like this?
Glad that he was finally in the safety of his own room again, he closed the door and sat down on the bed. He took a deep breath and felt the air filling his lungs. It was funny how such a small action could help, but it really did. He laughed at his preposterous insecurities. There was no reason to worry about anything.
Castiel opened the laptop, looking for anything Dean could have meant for him to see but was there was not a single browser tab opened. Had he accidentally closed it again?
This was really odd...
He scratched the back of his head, a habit he had picked up from Dean, funny enough, and looked for anything else he could have meant. A glance at his taskbar revealed an open word document. However, Castiel had never used it before. Curiosity got the best of him and so he clicked on it.
Dean wondered if Castiel knew what he saw when he looked at him.
He wondered if he could ever make him realize how important he was, how happy he made him whenever he was around, how fast he could make his heart beat.
He wondered if Castiel could ever feel the same way.
Dean had always felt this way, he just hadn’t realized. Maybe it was exactly like every clichéd movie said. Sometimes you don’t see what’s right in front of you.
You ignore the butterflies in your stomach whenever he’s touching you, shrugging it off as too much food.
You ignore the thoughts of kissing him whenever he’s looking at you, staring straight into your soul.
One day though, you can’t ignore it anymore.
You can’t ignore it when you wake up in the middle of the night with him lying on top of you.
You can’t ignore it anymore when you suddenly realize you want to pull him closer and never let him go again.
You can’t ignore it when you kiss his head and think about how much you wished he were awake to kiss you back.
No. You simply can’t.
If Dean were brave enough, he would say all of that to his face.
But Dean is bad with words. Well, bad with spoken words. It takes him forever to write, too. But that’s okay. It’s okay, because it finally needs to be said.
If Dean were brave enough, he wouldn’t have the irrational fear that his best friend could still reject him no matter what he reads in his free time..
Well, maybe ..
Maybe he is just waiting for the right time.
Maybe he is just waiting for Cas to give him a sign.
Maybe he is gathering the courage to do something.
Maybe..he is gathering the courage to do..
Gathering the courage to do..what? Castiel couldn’t believe what he had just read.
Why was there a fan fiction on his laptop? But it couldn’t be a fan fiction. It was too real. It was..it was exactly what had happened the night before.
No one knew about this. No one but Dean…
It couldn’t be Dean. Or could it? Could Dean have written this? Did this mean that.. but wait a second.
“The courage to do..what?” He muttered under his breath. Why did he leave it like that? What did that even mean?
He was so confused he couldn’t even find the rights words for it. He got up and walked up and down in his room. What should he do now?
“The courage to do WHAT?” He asked louder again this time, tearing the door open and storming out into the hallway, only to run right into someone.
He looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. It was Dean. Dean and his ridiculously beautiful green eyes staring back at him. He licked his lips and as much as Castiel tried to, he couldn’t not stare at them.
“The courage..to do..what?” He whispered, looking up just in time to see him coming closer.
“To do..this,” Dean breathed and sealed his lips with his own.
For a second, Castiel was too overwhelmed to react. Then, as if he had never done anything else, he kissed back with all the passion he possessed. One of his hands found its way into Dean’s hair, where he gripped him tightly. Dean gasped into his mouth and put both of his hands on Cas’s hips, trying to bring them closer. Something fell down on the floor next to them but neither of them paid attention to it until they pulled away reluctantly.
Sadly, both of them needed to breathe.
“That was..” he began.
“Yeah..” finished Dean, out of breath. They stared at each other, lost in each other’s eyes, both clearly unable to process what had just happened.
Dean was the first to function properly again. He bent down to pick up what had fallen down earlier. Castiel looked at it, furrowing his brow.
“Is that a..mistletoe?”
“Yes..Yeah..I mean..well,” Dean stammered. “I figured that if my plan didn’t work out, I could just, you know..?” he babbled, holding the mistletoe over his head between both of them.
“This way I would have gotten my kiss no matter what.”
Castiel couldn’t hold it back, and he started laughing whole-heartedly. It was so typically Dean to always have a plan B. Don’t go in without an emergency plan, Cas! How often had he hard this in the last few months? He tried to stop laughing and took a deep breath instead.
“You done?” Dean grinned at him.
“Yes, Dean. I must say I admire your plan. Mistloe is truly wonderful for many reasons. Did you know that it has been used for centuries in European herbalism? It has been used for arthritis, headaches and even...”
“Oh for god’s sake, shut up!” Dean laughed and pulled him back in for another kiss.