Chapter Text
The medical wing had gone quiet now that it was late at night. The urgent activity from earlier had faded into a softer rhythm. Somewhere down the corridor, a cart rolled past, its wheels whispering against the polished floor. A medical droid hummed faintly before its footsteps faded around a corner.
Inside Ciel’s room, the lighting was low and warm. The glow from medical panels cast gentle reflections along the walls and equipment. The steady rhythm of a heart monitor filled the room with a quiet, reassuring pulse.
Ciel lay in the hospital bed near the center of the room. The white sheets were tucked loosely around him, rising and falling with his breathing. He wore a pale medical gown that hung slightly loose on his narrow frame. The fabric slipped off one shoulder where he had shifted earlier in his sleep.
Fresh gauze wrapped across the right side of his face, covering his injured eye and curving around his temple before disappearing into his hair. The bandage stood out starkly against his pale skin. A faint bruise colored the edge of his jaw where the fight had left its mark. His hair was softer than usual tonight. Without the careful styling he wore in public, the dark strands fell messily across the pillow and occasionally over his forehead.
Sebastian sat in a chair pulled close to the bed. He looked as though he had arrived only moments ago, though he had been sitting there for quite some time. His black clothing was neat but not perfectly arranged from the long journey. A few strands of dark hair had slipped loose near his temple. The rigid composure he carried in public had eased.
There was still worry on his face. Most people would not recognize it, but it showed in the small tension between his brows, in the way his gaze returned again and again to the monitors beside the bed, and in how often he checked the steady rise and fall of Ciel’s breathing.
Sebastian leaned forward slightly, resting one hand over Ciel’s. Ciel’s fingers were warm but loose with sleep. Sebastian’s thumb moved slowly across the bruised knuckles. Through the Force, he could feel him clearly. Even under heavy medication, Ciel’s presence was unmistakable. Alive.
The tightness in Sebastian’s chest finally began to ease. It was much later when Ciel stirred. Sebastian felt it before he saw it. Ciel inhaled softly and blinked. His eye opened halfway before settling on Sebastian.
“Oh.”
His voice came out slow and slightly slurred.
“You’re here.”
“I came as soon as I could,” Sebastian said quietly.
Ciel looked at him for a moment. “You look tired.”
“I’ve had a long night.”
“Because of me?”
“Yeah.”
Ciel smiled lazily. He shifted a little in the bed and immediately winced.
Sebastian leaned closer. “Easy.”
“That hurts.”
“I figured it might.”
Ciel gave a quiet sigh. “Getting shot is not very pleasant. How do you do this often?”
Sebastian let out a small laugh. Ciel’s gaze drifted down and noticed their hands. Sebastian was still holding his.
“That’s nice.” His voice carried that dreamy satisfaction people felt when they were half-asleep and comfortable.
Sebastian’s thumb kept tracing small circles across his fingers. “You scared me tonight,” Sebastian said softly.
Ciel blinked slowly. “Did I?”
“Hm.”
“Huh?” He seemed to think about that.
Sebastian shook his head slightly. “You almost died.”
Ciel frowned at the ceiling. “That’s inconvenient.” His attention drifted again. “I broke a table.”
“I saw.” Sebastian smiled. “You handled yourself really well.”
Ciel turned his head slightly toward him. “You watched the surveillance?”
“Yeah, it was all over Holonet.”
“All of it?”
“Every second.”
Ciel squinted thoughtfully. “Did I look cool?”
“Very.”
Ciel’s cheeks pinked slightly. “Oh.” He looked suddenly shy about it.
Sebastian continued casually. “You’ve gotten the hang of using the Force pretty well now. You did well. I hardly noticed.”
Ciel blinked. “I did?”
“Nobody else caught it.”
Ciel stared at the ceiling like he was replaying the moment in his head. “I was trying.”
Ciel pulled the blanket up a little higher toward his chin. Sebastian smiled and brushed a loose strand of hair off Ciel’s forehead.
“You did really well.”
“My uncle would be proud.”
“He would be,” Sebastian said. “Alexis truly trained you the Mandalore way.”
Ciel’s gaze drifted back to him, a little unfocused but listening.
“My aunt married into the Midfords,” Ciel mumbled. “They’re… very intense.”
“I’ve heard,” Sebastian said, amused. “Well-respected. Very good at what they do.”
“They made me practice throws until I cried once,” Ciel added, like it was a distant memory he wasn’t sure was important.
“And now you can throw grown men across a room.”
Ciel hid his face slightly in the blanket again. “You’re saying a lot of nice things tonight.”
“Maybe you earned them.”
Ciel watched him with sleepy fascination. “You look less scary when you laugh.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No,” Ciel said immediately. “I like it.”
He shifted slightly again and winced. “Ow.”
Sebastian immediately leaned forward. “Still hurting?”
“A little.”
“They said it’ll go away soon.”
Ciel nodded faintly. Then his gaze drifted toward the bandage over his eye. He reached up carefully and touched it. “…Do I look weird?”
“No.”
“Be honest.”
Sebastian reached up and brushed his fingers gently through Ciel’s hair again.
“You look fine.”
Ciel thought about that. “You still like my face?”
“Maybe a bit more than before.”
Ciel relaxed instantly. “Okay.”
He stared at Sebastian for another moment. “You’re very handsome tonight.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “You’re flirting?”
“I think I am.”
“You’re drugged.”
“That too.”
Sebastian chuckled. Ciel smiled lazily.
“You came all the way here? You’re meant to be training.” Ciel giggled quietly. “Who would have thought you’re such a romantic?”
“I was training,” Sebastian said quietly. “With the others.”
Ciel squinted at him. “And you left?”
Sebastian leaned forward and kissed his forehead just above the bandage. Ciel’s smile widened just a bit. Sebastian lifted Ciel’s hand and kissed his knuckles. Ciel looked very pleased with that, too.
“You’re being so affectionate.”
“You nearly died, Ciel.”
“I didn’t realize it would make you so emotional.”
Sebastian didn’t argue with that.
Ciel watched him again. “You look calmer now.”
“I am.”
“Because I didn’t die?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian whispered.
There was a quiet pause.
“They’re coming,” Sebastian added after a moment. “Your parents. From Naboo.”
Ciel blinked slowly. “Oh.”
“And Sirius will hear about it too if he hasn’t already,” Sebastian said. “He’ll come.”
Ciel made a small face. “He’s going to be so worried.”
“Very.”
Ciel seemed to think about that, then gave a quiet, sleepy huff. A small frown formed. “I don’t want them to see me like this.”
“You’re recovering,” Sebastian said.
“I look strange.”
“You don’t.”
Ciel looked at him carefully, searching his face like he was trying to decide if that was true. Sebastian leaned closer and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Ciel didn’t comment on it. He just smiled, relaxed and content.
“Okay,” Ciel murmured.
His eyelid drooped again as the medication started pulling him back toward sleep.
“You look like you want to say something.”
Sebastian paused. The words rose easily in his mind.
I love you.
For the first time, it didn't feel complicated or heavy to say. It did not feel reckless or dangerous. It simply felt true because it was. He loved him. He looked at Ciel, half-awake, barely holding onto consciousness, completely unaware of how close those words were to being spoken aloud.
Sebastian exhaled quietly. Not yet.
His fingers moved instead, brushing a loose strand of hair away from Ciel’s face. He let his hand linger there for a moment, his thumb grazing lightly against his temple. He liked playing with Ciel’s hair. It soothed him. It helped him think. Ciel never minded.
That didn't help tonight. His thoughts were not quiet. They rarely did now.
Sith teachings had always been direct in their purpose. They centered on absolute personal freedom and perfection through power. The dark side was not something to fear. Strength came from breaking limits, rejecting restrictions, and proving superiority over others. Peace meant stagnation. Conflict led to growth. Victory proved worth. Emotion was not suppressed but embraced. Passion, anger, desire, and even hatred all served a purpose. They were tools. Sources of power. Fuel to shape reality through will alone.
Attachment was treated differently.
Attachment created vulnerability. It tied strength to something external. It gave others a way to control, weaken, or destroy you. Sith formed connections for advantage or desire, but true emotional bonds were rare. Those bonds often ended in betrayal or death.
The philosophy held a contradiction. It demanded emotion while warning against its consequences.
Sebastian’s gaze lowered briefly to where his hand still rested over Ciel’s. That contradiction had never mattered before. Now it did. This feeling did not resemble weakness. He had seen weakness before. He had seen people cling out of fear, out of emptiness, out of the need to feel whole. He had seen dependency disguised as devotion.
That was not this.
Sebastian knew exactly who he was without Ciel. His power did not come from him, and it would not vanish without him. He remained entirely himself. That had never changed.
His thumb traced another slow pattern across the back of Ciel’s hand.
Self-reliance had always been the goal. To stand alone. To require nothing beyond your own strength. But that idea carried its own answer. If you were truly self-reliant, then choosing someone did not come from need. It meant you were not searching for safety. You were not filling something missing. You were not afraid of being alone.
You chose them because you wanted to. Because you valued them.
Sebastian considered that carefully. That didn't feel like weakness. It felt like control. Like clarity. Like something far more stable than the kind of attachment the Sith rejected. It felt like strength that did not depend on fear.
His gaze returned to Ciel’s face. Still half asleep. Still breathing evenly. Completely unaware of the quiet shift happening beside him. Sebastian brushed his fingers through his hair once more, slower this time.
“Go back to sleep,” he murmured.
Ciel smiled faintly, barely awake. “You should stay.”
“I will.”
Ciel nodded, already slipping under again. Within moments, his breathing evened out as the medication pulled him fully back into sleep.
Sebastian remained where he was—still holding his hand, still watching him. The fear from earlier had faded, replaced by something steady. Something he could not dismiss. And something he no longer wanted to.