Chapter Text
The lights above in the operation theater flickered endlessly, casting pale shadows across the white walls. The sharp scent of antiseptic burned through the air while hurried footsteps echoed around the room. Doctors moved quickly beside the bed, gloved hands stained in red, their voices overlapping in urgency.
“Push harder!”
“You’re doing great...”
“Stay awake, ma’am, stay with us.”
The nurse held the woman’s trembling hand tightly, rubbing soft circles against her skin.
The woman cried out again.
Pain ripped through her lower abdomen like fire tearing her flesh apart.
Her body shook violently against the sheets. Her breath felt uneven, yet she still tried all her will and power.
Every scream was truing weaker than before. Sweat clung to her forehead, her hair sticking against her damp skin while tears slid helplessly from the corners of her eyes, disappearing into her hairline.
She was exhausted.
Her vision went blurred under the harsh lights above her, darkness creeping into the corners of her sight.
She could feel herself slipping away, her consciousness threatening to abandon her with every passing second.
But she couldn’t give up.
Not now.
Not when she had spent nine months imagining about this moment.
She had imagined tiny hands wrapping around her finger.
Tiny laughter filling the walls of her home.
A home that was once filled with her silence becoming once again alive with warmth.
Toys being scattered across the floor, sleepless nights, soft lullabies, first words, first steps.
Filled with Love.
Her child.
The one person she already adored before even seeing their face.
That dream alone kept her breathing, keeping her alive.
Another sharp contraction tore through her body and she screamed, nails digging into the nurse’s palm.
A cry.
Gentle and fragile
The sound filled the entire operating room.
For a moment, her world stopped.
The doctors proudly smiled at the offspring.
The nurse’s eyes softened instantly.
The mother of the child smiled in joy.
She was still weak, trembling but it was the happiest smile the nurse had seen in his years. No matter how much pain surrounded it, the cry of a newborn always brought light into the room.
It was a new beginning.
A reason to live.
The nurse carefully looked toward the infant wrapped in soft cloth while another doctor cleaned the baby gently.
“Congratulations,” someone whispered softly.
The woman’s lips parted shakily as she tried lifting herself from the bed.
“My… baby…”
Her voice cracked into nothing.
But.....
The monitor beeped sharply.
The doctor frowned immediately.
“Her vitals are dropping.”
“Blood pressure is high!”
The room erupted into chaos again.
“Ma’am? Ma’am!”
The nurse tightened his hold on her hand. “Look at me! Stay with us!”
But her eyes were already losing focus.
The smile slowly faded from her lips.
The heart monitor let out one long, haunting sound.
The same nurse jolted awake violently.
A gasp tore from his throat as he sat upright in his bed, his chest heaving uncontrollably.
Sweat had drenched his shirt entirely, his hands trembling so badly he could barely breathe.
The nightmare again.
It was always the same nightmare.
His pulse hammered painfully against his ribs in a rapid, uneven rhythm.
Panic clawed at his chest, tightening around his lungs.
No no no no...
He hurriedly reached toward the bedside drawer, fumbling desperately until he pulled out a small orange pill bottle.
His shaking fingers nearly dropped it twice before finally managing to open it.
He jugged them straight into his mouth.
A hurried sip of water followed through his pharynx.
He was still unable to breathe properly.
His body refused to calm down.
Beside him, the mattress shifted.
“New?”
A sleepy but worried voice filled the darkness.
His husband instantly sat up, he saw his News’s condition, New looked terrified.
His entire body shook as though he had been thrown into ice cold freezing water.
“Hey, hey… look at me,” New's husband whispered quickly, moving closer.
Though New’s breathing only worsened.
His husband immediately cupped the back of his neck, guiding him gently forward while rubbing slow circles against his back.
“It’s okay… you’re okay… breathe with me.”
New squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to steady himself, but another tremor ran through him.
The nightmare felt real like it was the same day all over again.
Every single time.
The scream.
The crying baby.
His husband kept whispering softly beside him.
“I’m here.”
“You’re safe.”
“It was just a dream.”
New gripped his shirt tightly, almost desperately, like if he let go the man in front of him would disappear too.
Ten long minutes passed before his breathing finally slowed.
The room fell quiet except for the sound of the ceiling fan spinning above them.
His husband carefully leaned against the headboard and gently pulled New closer until his husband rested against his chest. One hand continued stroking through New’s damp hair while the other stayed wrapped securely around his waist.
The silence between them filled with things that were unsaid.
New rested weakly against him, eyes distant.
“Tay…” he whispered hoarsely.
“Hm?”
New’s fingers curled tighter into his shirt.
“Please don’t leave me.”
The words were so small.
Yet so broken.
Tawan’s heart ached hearing them.
Without hesitation, he lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss against New’s forehead.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
New shut his eyes.
But Tawan noticed it immediately but the fear was still haunting them.
He knew it wasn’t just a nightmare.
It was a memory.
Or maybe something worse.
Because every time New woke up like this, it looked less like fear of death...
Tawan had never pushed him for answers or never demanded explanations.
He waited patiently.
Staying through the sleepless nights.
He knew New would speak when he was ready.
But tonight, as he held his shaking husband against his chest, one question lingered painfully inside his mind.
What exactly had happened in New’s past that left him this terrified for these many years almost 7 years?