Chapter Text
Summer was raging now, as the sun beat down on the students each day, but today was special it was June 6th Shoya 16th birthday, his mom made him feel special even making him a special breakfast for her big birthday boy and wishing him well as he went off to school. He didn’t expect anyone to remember his birthday, afterall he hadn’t celebrated it in school since elementary school it was fine though, he was having a pretty decent day after all, his eyes were a bit brighter than usual and he walked through the halls with the smallest of smiles on his face. When he got home there was a present on his bed, he opened it just to see the new game he had wanted, thanks mom he thought, a smile forming on his face (you don’t deserve this!) his brain screamed but he just ignored it for once.
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It was now fall, the leaves were falling (like what he wishes he could do off a building) he understood the leaves more than anyone could know. They lived for a short time, surviving and then eventually they can’t take the environment anymore so they wilt and die, eventually falling like an angel would do from heaven. He saw himself as a fallen angel, because everyone saw him as good at one point in his life, just for this to be short lived as it was ripped away from him as all the blame was put on him, and he fell. He fell off his pedestal, losing anyone who gave a shit.
So now all he could do was fall more, Shoya had thought about dying many times before, tried it once even. But now he really wanted to try so he went to the bridge with a lake full of koi below it. (Atleast they could eat his body right?) so he stepped off the edge landing in the water, it was cold as he sunk to the bottom, maybe he could finally escape?
But no… some bystander saw him drowning and assumed he fell in or something so they saved him, and then chewed him out for being reckless before he went on his way once again.
Getting home he went straight to his room, only mumbling a
“Hi” to his mom, she questioned why he was all wet, he didn’t respond. Just went into his room. Shutting the door he slid down to the floor, putting his head in his hands and just sighing, god he was so tired.
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It was now winter and Shoya decided that he was going to get a job (no it wasn’t because the new store clerk at the place he gets his sharpeners and blades from now looks at him all weird so he switched places but that one costs double), so he applied to his local grocery store and surprisingly got accepted to work there. He started on Tuesday and because nothing could ever just go right in his life, the first customer he had to deal with solo was a bitch.
He had finally finished training and now was opperating a cash register when a woman who looked like she was on a very heated phone call stepped into line
Shoya just stayed silent about it and scanned someone’s bologna.
After a minute the woman began to check her watch and loudly complain about how long this was taking and his kids these days don’t want to work. It made Shoya flinch before he regained professionalism.
When he finally got to her and started scanning her items.
“Jesus are you new or something? Why are you so fucking slow!” She barked
“I apologize mam, I am actually new here, I’m trying my best”
“Well your best isn’t good enough, Jesus if I was this useless I would just kill myself!” She yelled loud enough for others to hear. His hands began to shake as he scanned her items
He finished and she payed and left, as soon as she got out of those doors he went on break.
Shoya felt like he couldn’t breathe, his chest was tight and he felt dizzy, he wobbled his way to the bathroom, using the wall to stabilize himself. As soon as he got there all of his small lunch came right back up.
And all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe at all, Shoya sat there on the floor shaking like a leaf as he remembered every time that he was told those words, they were simple words just three syllables “kill yourself” but the weight of those words hung think in the air, eventually he got up, still only barely breathing because his break was about to be over so he had to get back to work. Oh well, maybe he should kill himself. Why does it matter, no one would care anyway…