Chapter Text
The Fading Warmth of Your Hand
Chapter 36 — Version 2
Wish granted
“Over here, Hazu-nee!”
A young girl waves at me with all her strength, practically bouncing in place from excitement.
Ah, Kikyo’s there.
Shiori and I walk towards her, watching her laugh with her friends as they snap photos together. I occasionally overhear them whining dramatically about the heat while still having to wear their full uniforms and blazers.
Laughter rings endlessly around us.
Happy faces. Smiles. A few tears too.
Well, my stepdad is one of the people crying. I’m used to that by now.
Mom comforts him while simultaneously making fun of him, all while reminding Kikyo not to run around too much, terrified she’ll somehow trip and injure herself before the graduation ceremony is even over.
Shiori stands quietly beside me, smiling as she watches everything unfold.
A scene this warm, this gentle… once felt impossible to me.
Maybe because I never believed I deserved this kind of happiness.
But right now, everyone important to me is here.
Breathing.
Laughing.
Alive.
And somehow… I’m alive too, lucky enough to witness all of it with them.
It’s only been three years, but time passes frighteningly fast.
Kikyo is already seventeen, turning eighteen next month. Soon, she’ll be the same age Shiori was when we reunited.
I’ve stepped into my late twenties.
Shiori is twenty-one now. The awkwardness she carried when she first entered university has faded, yet somehow she’s still unbearably cute.
And she smiles so much more these days.
After saying goodbye to our parents, Kikyo practically drags her friends toward us. Since it’s their last day wearing school uniforms, Shiori and I decide to take them all to the beach.
One last chance to savor youth in their school uniforms properly.
After settling our parents down, Shiori starts up the small family van and drives toward Azukihama Beach.
From the passenger seat, I glance into the rearview mirror, watching Kikyo and her friends chatter endlessly in the back.
My chest fills with warmth.
Youth really is beautiful.
Laughing loudly over pointless things. Treating every moment like it matters more than the world itself.
I turn my head toward Shiori, who’s focused on driving.
For a moment, I catch myself wondering how happy I would’ve been if my own graduation had looked like this.
If Shiori had driven me to the beach after my ceremony, smiling beside me like she is now.
Of course, it would’ve been impossible.
Back then, she was still in middle school, and I had already run away from home for two years.
I’ve already made peace with the past.
Still… I can’t help feeling a little regret.
If only I could’ve been there for Shiori’s graduation too.
But even so—
Right now, I’m happy.
As long as Shiori is beside me, I feel happier than anything else in the world.
I’m alive long enough to watch her grow up.
To wait for her university graduation.
To still exist in her life.
That alone already feels enough.
Maybe she notices me staring, because without a word, Shiori reaches one hand toward me and places it over mine.
Her thumb gently rubs against my fingers, soothing me silently.
She really makes me feel safe.
Like… home.
Before I realize it, I’m smiling.
Outside the window, the scenery feels impossibly beautiful.
Around forty-five minutes later, we finally arrive at the beach.
Just like last time, the scent of salt greets us first, accompanied by the steady sound of waves rolling against the shore.
Not too loud.
Not too quiet.
Just comforting.
Before either Shiori or I can even react, the kids burst out of the van and sprint toward the ocean.
Their laughter echoes freely through the air as they run.
School uniforms are meant to discipline students into neat little shapes. Yet somehow, they still look so free.
“HAHAHA! Catch me if you can!”
One of Kikyo’s friends smacks her shoulder before immediately sprinting away.
Kikyo gasps dramatically and chases after her without even taking off her shoes or socks first.
“You ambushed me?! Get back here!”
But just as she’s about to run off, she suddenly stops and jogs back toward me instead.
She pulls out a heavily folded piece of paper from her pocket and stuffs it into my hand.
“Sorryyy. Mom told me to vacuum your room a while ago and I kinda found it by accident,” she says mischievously. “But seriously, I feel like you still haven’t said everything you wanted to say.”
Before I can respond, she’s already running toward the ocean again, sticking her tongue out at me playfully.
I seriously can’t deal with this little sister sometimes.
Still…
She’s right.
Back then, I truly believe I’m going to die.
Night after night, I have nightmares.
Dreams about another version of us.
Another timeline.
One where I never survive.
A world where only Shiori remains, bringing Kikyo and her friends to this same beach alone while I watch helplessly from somewhere far away.
After having that dream, I panic and write the letter immediately, terrified I’ll never get the chance to confess everything to Shiori properly.
I even plan to ask Kikyo to deliver it if something happens to me.
Thinking about it now… it’s almost funny.
Last time I stand on this beach, my chest is full of anxiety because I’m still hiding my illness from Shiori.
In the end, I’m just terrified of leaving her behind alone.
The waves are still the same.
The sand is still the same.
The little beach shop is still the same.
And we’re still us.
No—
I’ve changed.
Maybe both of us have.
Stronger.
More honest.
More willing to love fearlessly.
I look at Shiori as she quietly stares out at the ocean, and realize the fear that once consumed me is gone.
I’m not afraid anymore.
I gently stroke the back of her hand, feeling her warmth beneath my fingertips.
This—
This is that timeline.
The one where I stay.
And I’ll treasure it forever.
Feeling my touch, Shiori leans over and kisses me softly.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks.
I don’t answer.
Instead, I kiss her back, then rest my head against her shoulder as we watch the ocean together.
Sometimes, feeling playful, I sprinkle sand over her toes just to tickle her.
In retaliation, she immediately pins me down and starts tickling my stomach instead.
We burst into laughter at the exact same time.
Completely carefree.
Completely happy.
She keeps me pinned beneath her for a moment longer, hands resting on my waist as we stare at each other.
I lift my hand and caress her cheek gently.
“When you graduate university… would you like to move in with me?”
Shiori doesn’t answer right away.
Instead, she intertwines her fingers with mine, smiling softly before leaning down to kiss me deeply.
Looks like my wish came true after all.