Chapter Text
Zuzy laughs out as she finally tags George. She’d been having fun, sure, but she was still a bit annoyed from Zee’s behavior throughout the day. She’d been a nervous wreck. Naturally, she had tried to assure her sister that everything would be okay, but she’d end up making it worse. So, she’d try to help by keeping her busy. Games are always fun…and selfishly, she hated when her twin became such a bummer, because she knew it was only a matter of time until it’d rub off on her. It always does, and it makes her job as the optimistic twin all the more difficult.
As she turns to grab Zee for another round, she spots Player and Pony returning. Her smile fades a bit when she realizes Zizzy isn’t with them. She walks up beside her sister, George a few steps behind them both.
“Where’s Zizzy?” she questions, turning her gaze to Mimi and Giraffy. Their facial expressions make her regret looking to them at all. A twinge of panic hits her, but surely there’s an explanation?
“She isn’t with us,” is all Player says.
The panic doesn’t truly overtake her until she looks through both Player and Pony’s faces, desperately trying to find anything other than utter doom. She can’t help the tears that sting her eyes, her brain unable to think of any way to stay calm. She wants to run, and so, she does. Her legs take over before she’s even able to form a thought. Every movement feels sloppy, like a drunk as she makes her way up the stairs. She enters a room, slamming the door shut. Her back presses against the door before she slides down, gasping for air with eyes squeezed shut. Once her breath is caught, she blinks away tears that were obscuring her vision. She realizes she isn’t in her room, but Zizzy’s. She sees her neatly made bed a few feet away, and she lets out a shudder before sobbing quietly. Her eyes are stuck on the bed for nearly a minute, until she begins to crawl and stammer over to it, clawing her way onto it, frantically making her way under the blankets.
Guilt bites at her, knowing Zizzy will be mad at her for messing it up. Yet, she sighs with relief as she brings a fistful of blanket to the bottom of her face, her sister’s familiar scent filling her nose. It calms her, and she begins scrambling to think of anything that could have happened to explain, without Zizzy being harmed, why they didn’t come back with her. She hears the door click open, her eyes moving up from the fabric to her twin sister’s face. She watches the way she’s slowly scanning her eyes over the room, clearly looking as if she’d rather be anywhere else. Zee climbs into the bed with her, and Zuzy can’t contain her sob. The comfort her sister tries to offer only hurts, as the only person she wants comfort from is her other.
She sits up, shaking her head frantically, “Why didn’t they bring her back?!” Her voice cracks, throat feeling tight, yet she pushes on, desperately forcing the words out. “There has to be a mistake. Maybe they just got split up? Maybe that’s why the grown-ups are so scared? Maybe they feel bad for losing her,” she tries, looking to Zee to hope that maybe even an ounce of her poor explanations made any realistic sense. She watches as her eyes grow less focused on her, increasing in anguish. When Zee gasps out, coming back to her senses, Zuzy comes to as well. She remembers her place in their siblinghood. She’s supposed to be the positive one, and so, she wraps Zee in a tight hug.
Zuzy’s remorse from being a failure makes her sick. Still, it’d be selfish to let this become the main focus while her sister still needs support. She constantly does this and doesn’t know how to stop. She fails at her job of being happy and optimistic every time she gets wrapped up in her own feelings, ending up needing to be the consoler rather than the consoled, which is constantly.
“It’s okay,” Zuzy mutters, trying to find the right words. In all honesty, it’s not okay. Zuzy sure doesn’t believe so. But, sometimes, optimism includes being a tad delusional for those around her. She always hopes she’ll end up believing it herself. “We still have each other,” she pauses, grimacing. Who cares? It doesn’t matter. At least, that’s how she imagines Zee’s thoughts. She’s never felt like Zee needed her. It’s always been the opposite. Regardless, she’s already spoken. She has to keep going with it. “You’ll always have me.”
When her twin pulls away, she’s smiling through her tears. Zuzy is surprised, but eternally grateful that she didn’t mess up her attempts to comfort for once. Her attention turns to Zee’s shaking hands.
“You’ll always have me, too,” Zee tells her. When she comes under the blankets and rests on Zuzy’s shoulders, Zuzy feels needed. It’s the tiny amount of fresh air she needed.
There’s a knock on the door after a few quiet moments. The door creaks open, and Pony steps inside, walking over and sitting down on the bed.
“Hey,” Pony begins. He looks at them both, eyes lingering on Zuzy. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to check on you girls sooner. I had some things to talk to the grown-ups about.” His eyes move off them, and as he looks around, Zuzy realizes she shouldn’t have run to Zizzy’s room. She fights a grimace, in fear of Pony or Zee noticing, but she’d realized they’d both had similar reactions to having to enter her room. It’s like salt to the wound. Her eyes slide down to Pony’s fingers, trailing the fabric of Zizzy’s blanket. She can only think of the time she’d awoken from a nightmare, and when she wanted to go to her older sister about it, she’d peeked in the room, finding her curled up under that very blanket, fast asleep with Pony. She’d woken Zee up from excitement, completely forgetting about the nightmare. It was a fun memory, but now it just makes her want to break down again.
Yet, it also makes her angry towards Pony. If he’d loved her sister, why didn’t he protect her? Not that she’d ever needed him to, but he still should’ve. As his eyes trail to the nightstand, Zuzy’s eyes follow them to the framed photo of Zizzy, Zee, and herself. She looks back at him, realizing if she had looked at that photo for even a second more, she would’ve screamed.
“She loves you guys a lot. You know that, right?” Pony asks the twins, turning his gaze to them. They both nod, and her anger grows. It’s a stupid question. Of course, they know it. “I’ll tell you guys everything that happened in the morning.” He continues, “You two need rest. But, I promise you, it’s all going to be okay. Zizzy is going to be okay.” She wants to believe it, not just for her, but for Zee. So, she’ll force herself to. “Do you guys want to stay in here for the night?” Pony asks. Zee nods, so Zuzy mumbles a quiet yes. She doesn’t want to be alone. “Alright, goodnight, girls,” Pony gets up, and a spike of fear hits her.
“Wait!” She bolts up, and Zee slips off her shoulder. She turns to make sure she's alright, and when she turns back to Pony, their eyes meet. She doesn’t understand why, but she wants him to stay despite her feelings. She lets out a shaking breath. “Can you stay with us in here?” she asks, “Just until we go to bed?”
Pony nods. “Of course I can. Do you guys want your bedtime story like usual…?”
Right. Their nightly story had completely slipped her mind. She turns to look at Zee. When she simply shrugs, Zuzy’s unsure of what to say. “Yeah, I want it,” she says, forcing a small smile. It might make Zee feel better to do something that resembles the average night. She knows she’d always been fond of routines.
“Okay,” Pony says, “ I’ll go grab the book from your guys' room.”
Once he’s exited the room, Zuzy inhales deeply and turns to Zee. She wraps her arms around her tightly.
“See? It’ll be okay…we just need to be strong,” Zuzy tells her. When her sister nods and smiles, she feels relieved. If she’s not okay, she can at least make sure Zee is.
When Pony re–enters the room, book in hand, Zuzy curls up beside Zee, holding her close. She’s already lost one sister today, so she wants to keep the other close by. When her twin cuddles with her, her relief grows. She’s been stuck under the impression that Zee hasn’t ever and won’t ever need her, yet she’s been shown otherwise tonight. Maybe she isn’t a clingy failure after all. As Pony opens the book, beginning to read, a small smile breaks through. She can sleep just a tad easier, knowing for once, she’d been able to comfort someone properly.