Chapter Text
He tries to remember when D3rlord3 became Derek.
Avery always wears his emotions on his sleeve, so he knows it was easy for Derek to notice how much he cared about him. That doesn't mean Avery is always aware of his own feelings though, and that became a problem at the beginning of their relationship.
It's all in the little details. When they moved in together for the first time, back in their old base, things were awkward. But they were also pretty new, and they were excited to find out about everything that meant to share a space together in the long run. Avery would cook, D3rlord would hunt, they started to care for some animals, they shared a bedroom because none of them could sleep alone anymore. They started the day with good mornings and ended them with good nights. When D3rlord had nightmares, Avery would comfort him until he fell asleep again. When Avery felt like he was suffocating under that lake again, D3rlord would take him outside to watch the stars and breathe fresh air.
D3rlord always looked at him with so much awe. Like Avery was worth it. Like he meant something. Like he was important.
Avery couldn't believe it. He didn't think he meant it.
Because, yes, D3rlord sacrificed himself for him. He faced Death in the eyes, for him. To save him.
He couldn't understand why.
So that was the main issue. He knew why he cared about D3rlord. He owed him his life. He had to repay him somehow, he had to make sure it was worth the effort. He cared about D3r because he fell for his stubbornness and his smarts and his absolute will power to face the universe in order to save him. But he didn't get it.
He couldn't comprehend why someone so amazing would do all of that for him.
Avery felt small. He always did, and he tried to hide it all under the façade of cheerful confidence he usually wore out of habit. He tried to pretend everything was alright, that nothing was happening. He tried to run away like a coward every time his heart felt funny when looking at D3r. He focused on trying to survive everyday instead of being honest with himself.
It didn't last long.
D3r- no. Derek knew him. He knew everything about him. He knew about his past and his mistakes, and about the future and all the things he would do. He knew about Avery like no other being would ever be able to. He knew how he felt for him, he knew what it meant to him when he decided to stay, to live with him. He knew how scared Avery was and how little he thought about himself, and how useless he still felt, all the guilt that tried to swallow him whole every time he remembered how he couldn't save Derek.
And he still chose him.
Derek saw the universe, and he still chose Avery.
So even if Avery couldn't believe in himself, he had to believe Derek when he told him that he loved him.
Avery is loved. So loved. With all of his mistakes and his guilt and his lack of self esteem, Derek loves him. And that was enough.
So when Avery tries to think back to when D3rlord3 became Derek, he thinks about the time when they built their house.
The old base was no longer fit for them. Not because it wasn't proper, or useful, it wasn't because it was small and only had one room and a kitchen. No, the old base was too filled with memories. Some of them were pretty, warm ones, but others were… Painful. The old base was too close to that cave.
So they had to move.
They grabbed their things, and their feelings, and they went out to search for a place they could call home. Derek told him all about the place he was born in, the tall forests and the damp jungle that invited to get lost and soar through the sky, the open spaces and the villages full of others like him. Avery wanted to ask as to why he left, and Derek knew. So he told him even before he had to ask, he wasn't welcome there anymore. Fledglings were always kicked out of the nest, so that they could find their own place in the world and build their own lives. It is not like he didn't miss his family, or his home, but it was just the way things were. Still, Avery felt for him. Not pity, never that. But understanding. He knew there was more to it, but Avery didn't push. They were both searching for a home, together.
They walked, trekked and explored every corner they could find, far far away from the old base. From the cave. They just had to find the right place, the perfect area that could lend them some rest after so long on their feet. Avery was aware that Derek already knew, so he just waited. And one day, finally, they found it. Jungle trees so tall it looked like they touched the sky, the air was damp, the floor was covered in vegetation and the casual melon, they were surrounded by a cacophony of sounds and songs of birds and insects that made every nook and cranny feel alive. The scent of freshness and cocoa filled his lungs, and he exhaled, content. This was it.
It was perfect.
Derek chose the tallest tree, with the sturdiest trunk and branches so big it blocked out the sun, and they began to build. Their house was more of a treehouse, really. They made sure it was well insulated, winters that high up were going to need it. The whole thing was made of wood, but Avery made sure they were fire proofed, they would need to have a room like that for Derek’s blacksmith. They both had their own spaces; Avery had a damp, heated room that allowed his form to relax when he needed it, walls insulated with stone and dark marble, full of plants in pots and hanging from the walls, steam pouring out of little contraptions Derek made for him. Derek had a little nook, under the library, a tiny space full of soft wool and warm lamps and fairy lights, where he could lay in and get cozy with his weighted blankets. And of course, they had their bedroom. Their nest. With a window that filled most of the space of the wall, and their bed posted right in front of the fireplace. They never wanted anything too fancy, too focused on making sure the building was stable enough and wouldn't collapse in the first strom that would hit them, but it was fine. The house and the forest, the open sky above them and the breeze flowing through the windows. Their company. It was more than enough.
Avery was too lost on his own reminiscing to notice Derek was calling to him.
—...very? Aves?
—Sorry, what did you say?—his attention snapped back into the present. He was on the floor, whole body heating up in front of the lit fireplace. He was surely melting into the carpet right now. He looked up and saw Derek poking his head outside of the nest, gaze a little concerned but also amused.
—Half your body is stuck to the carpet, love.—he heard him say with a chuckle.
—Oh dang it.
He tried to get up but well, his legs and part of his torso were green goo that refused to part from the fibers of the very soft fabric. Silly him, he loved being warm but forgot most of the times his body also loved sticking to every surface ever. He was about to start crawling away from the fireplace, but he heard Derek moving up in the nest.
—No, wait! You don't have to get up! I can do it fine!—he yelped as Derek got out of the nest, he never got out of it now. It had been like, a week, since the last time he got out for anything else that wasn't going to the bathroom to relieve himself. Derek just rolled his eye and got to where he was, his steps a little unsteady, but he crouched and grabbed Avery on his arms, with the carpet and everything.
—I wanted to go to the bathroom anyway.—he said, as Avery practically wrapped himself around him.—; I could use a bath.
—Yeah, you’re a stinky ball of feathers.
—Says the one stuck to the carpet.
—But you're my stinky ball of feathers.
They, and by that he meant Derek, made their way to the bathroom, he had to fill the bath with very warm water, in hopes of making Avery's goopy self detach itself from the fabric. Avery was actually a little enthusiastic about all of this, when was the last time they both took a bath together? Since Derek started acting all sick and basically made the bedroom his hiding place, Avery felt like missing all the little things they would do as part of their routine. Now of course he knew he wasn't actually sick and it was amazing, really. But he also missed this. Derek got rid of the loose clothing he started to use to be more comfortable in the nest, Avery knew there was no hope in trying to wash those. When they were both finally in the water, carpet no longer in sight, Avery finally got his hands on him. Derek laid back against his chest, and he carded through his feathers, the knots on his wings being the first to be taken care of. If Derek could melt, he would have let himself pool his body on top of Avery, his chest rumbling deep in a purr of pure satisfaction as the slime hybrid worked wonders on his back and his wings.
Avery made sure to spread all the natural oils of his feathers, using the warm water to preen him and fix the wild ones that didn't want to behave. He could feel Derek almost falling asleep on top of him, when his hands moved from his wings to the ones on his back, and the sides of his chest and his arms, down to his hips and his navel. He was so focused on his job that he didn't notice how excited the harpy got, only when he felt Derek coming to life and moving, turning his body just enough so he could look at him. He had a lazy smile on his face, and looked at him with so much love Avery could feel his own body shiver. When Derek closed the distance Avery was sure he was one second away from becoming one with the bath water. They kissed slowly, bodies pressed against each other, but there was no rush. Nothing more than just being in the arms of the other, holding the moment between them like it was sacred.
They cuddled and kissed until the water got too cold, and then they had to actually clean themselves. This time, when they got out of the bath and went back to the nest, Avery had to carry Derek, the harpy already too tired and pretty anxious about not being in the nest. Avery laughed as he used a towel to dry him, cooing at him because of how cute he looked with his whole body becoming too fluffy and puffy, Derek was too tired to even try to defend himself. It was very late at night when they finally cuddled on the nest, dry and content.
—How long do you think you have left?—me murmured against his chest, Derek cocooning them on his wings in the middle of the nest.
—I don't know.—he let out a sigh.—; It could be another week… Or even more… There are so many possibilities… But… I think it's not going to be long. I hope.
—Let’s hope, then.—he pulled closer to him, feeling himself giving up to sleep.
—————————#—————————
He woke up startled.
Something was really wrong with his body, but he couldn't put a finger on what exactly felt off. He was in the nest. His head felt funny, full of cotton and needles.
Avery wasn't there.
His vision tried to adjust to the darkness, he tried to look out of the window to try and guess what hour it was.
There was not a single star in the sky.
Pure darkness was the only thing outside, a darkness that brushed against the windows and looked as if they were trying to leak into the house. He felt his throat dry up and he scrambled to get up. He had to find Avery.
Something was wrong.
He tripped over himself when he got up, his legs were shaking and his balance was a mess, but he pushed through it. He could feel how feverish his skin was, how his eye couldn't make sense of most of the things in front of him, as if reality itself was blurring into nothingness. Something was really wrong. When he made his way into the hallway, barely standing, he used the walls to push himself and forced his legs to move forward. He was panting when he reached the end, and something made his heart skip a beat and his stomach drop to the ground.
Instead of the stairway that led down to the first floor, there were two doors.
The left one was slightly open, yellow light seeping through the crack.
He felt like vomiting.
No. Not this again. Please. Please please please. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, please.
His hand reached for the door without him wanting it to.
His body moved against his will.
When the door opened, bright, blinding light seeped into his very soul. Yellow. It was too much, so strong. It made his head spin and his body feel like it was shaken until his blood evaporated. Debilitating pain seared his temple and he could feel himself fall… Fall… He fell for what seemed like eternity.
But suddenly, something catched him. Something big, warm, wrapped around his body, and he couldn't make any sense of it, the pain was too much to bear. He felt himself be moved until he was up… somewhere? He wanted to curl into himself, he wanted to become so small he disappears.
“Hello, little Knight.„
He sobbed, hands pressing against his ears, but it was useless, the voice was coming from everywhere. It was everywhere, inside his head, around him. He didn't miss this.
“That is very rude of you, little Knight.„
What do you want now? He asked. Why are you here again? Didn't you get tired of me already?
“Ah, that is where you're wrong. See, I actually quite enjoyed our little chats. Don't you think they’re very productive?„
He was mocking him. He knew he was. But he couldn't understand why. Why now? It has been so long since the King subsided, becoming background noise in the infinite river of information that plagued his mind every single day. It took Derek a long time to get used to him, to the knowledge. It took him even more time to feel safe enough to let himself live without the fear of the King having any power over him. He was trapped inside of him, he knew that. He knew that. So why, why now after so many years?
“If you indulge me, little Knight, I actually have a very good reason to be speaking to you in this way. I feel like we can get to an agreement here, if you would be so kind as to listen to me.„
Derek didn't want to. He really, really did not want to do this right now. But did he really have a choice? He could feel the grip the King had on him, on his soul. But he also felt the beast, the infinite void that was the King, crushed in a space that was oh too small for his magnanimity. What a pity. The harpy eased himself, sure that the King couldn't really do anything to harm him, or Avery, in his current situation. He felt the King chuckle, but he ignored it. Like he always does. Ouch, that hurt him.
Speak.
“You are with child. You carry life inside you. You won't survive.„
He felt his soul freeze cold.
“At this rate, and because I can see it, your body won't be able to go through the laying without collapsing. There's nothing you can do to stop this, the future has already moved to fit into this path.
You will die.„
He felt his stomach churn, suddenly, the images in front of him started to move. He could see it. His body collapsing, his organs giving up. His heart stopping. He could feel it on his bones and on his mind, he wasn't going to make it. What he was so afraid of since he knew he was going to carry his child, since he knew he and Avery were going to have this hatchling, all those years ago in the cave. It was right here. There were no other possibilities, no other ways this could be fixed, no other futures he could hope to make them true. It was just this one. And it hurt. It hurt him deep on his soul, and he could feel the King writhing on it, pleased. Anything for his suffering, he guessed.
“Ah-ah. Not so fast, little Knight. Aren’t you forgetting something important?„
He opened his eye, and looked directly at the King. He was covering his face, apparently in the effort of not melting his brains out of his ears. He wasn't going to thank him. But he could still read his poise, the way he loomed over him, almost crouched over his soul, watching in silent amusement and curiosity. How weird. He searched for more, hostility maybe, but he found none. Not a single ounce of anything that could tell him he was in danger. There was a loud static noise around them, but he knew that was just what he did. Etched into the corners of his brain, Derek was used to having to ignore this buzzing over all the other things he needed to ignore when he was just trying to exist. The King hummed, almost as if he encouraged him to think harder. So he did. Why would He come and warn him of something like this? To relish himself? To gloat? Why now? Was he so bored inside of his head that he was now trying to make fun of the fact that he-?
Oh. Of course.
If I die you die.
“Yes. Seems like we are on the same level of understanding now, little Knight.„
“You are not my Vessel. You're flawed, in and out, so I'm trapped. I'm sure you already know this. The moment you die is the moment I will cease to exist. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find an alternative to this predicament. Very bothersome indeed. However, this leaves me with opportunities, as you may guess.„
You're going to keep me alive? His head cleared for a second. He looked at the King, almost incredulously. You're going to make me able to lay without… dying?
“As surprising as that may be, yes.„
You will help me?
“Yes.„
Unbelievable.
“Oh, but make no mistake, little Knight…„
The figure of the King grew larger, then. It loomed even heavier, almost drowning him with his presence. He felt his grab tighten around him.
“... this will come at a price.„
When he woke up, he opened his wings to see better, as they were still wrapped around them, and he breathed with more ease at seeing Avery still deep in sleep, glued to his side. Literally glued. He let out a long sigh, and he made no effort in waking him up. He just nuzzled back into him, wrapping arms and legs around him, trying to calm his elevated heart rate.
He hoped, with all of the strength on his soul, things would turn out fine.
It was all he could really do.