Chapter Text
It’s been two weeks since they last saw Taehyung. After that incident, Big Hit suddenly announced on their SNS that Bangtan will go on a long hiatus until further notice but some members will still continue their individual schedules. Most fans are shock and mad about this sudden announcement while some of them are happy that their idols finally getting some rest that they deserves. Some of the fans are also worried and suspicious about this sudden news because it wasn’t like Big Hit at all to just let them rest for awhile let alone a long hiatus but that was dismissed instantly when some of the members started tweeting about how happy they are about the news courtesy of Namjoon when he saw fans started spreading rumours about their disbandment.
They all went along with Big Hit’s decision by putting them on hiatus. What is there left to do when you can’t even find one of the members. By now, the rest of the members had already forgiven Yoongi and Jimin for their mistake because they had learned their lessons and they look sincerely regretful on what they had done. Yoongi and Jimin also had come to a mutual agreement to stop whatever relationship they have except for friendship and teammates. Though they all are still awkward around each other after that event, at least it is still better than the first week where Jin and Jungkook won’t even look at either of them.
Namjoon and Hoseok are in the studio while Jimin and Jungkook went to the practice room to practice on some dance move. Yoongi is in no mood to do anything so he just stays in the bed all wrapped up. Jin was nowhere to be seen, he’s not in his bed either but then he heard someone humming in the kitchen and as on cue, Jin appears at the door. “Are you going to stay in bed all day or join me with breakfast?” Jin said while striding towards Yoongi. Yoongi debates for a while because if he takes the offer, he swears it will be really awkward but then again, he needs to fix this because this is one the consequences of him betraying the member’s trust. “Sure, will be out in a minute” he said and Jin give him a small smile before heading back to the kitchen.
They were eating their breakfast in surprisingly calm silence until Jin decides to break the moment, “So, any plan in I don’t know, making up with Taehyung or search him maybe?” It would be a lie to say that Yoongi didn’t flinched a bit with the serious tone in Jin’s voice and at the mention of Taehyung’s name. “I..uhh…” Yoongi scratch his neck before continue, “I don’t know. I think he need some time to cool down maybe. I mean I’m pretty sure he is still upset with me.” Jin clicked his tongue while shaking his head. “Yoongi, never had I imagine that you will say something like that. I’m so disappointed with you. What do you take Taehyung for? When someone is heartbroken, isn’t it normal to console that person even if it’s stranger. So, what is Taehyung to you? A toy? Why are you discarding him like a broken glass after you had broken his heart? Don’t you love Taehyung anymore? If you love him or maybe had loved him, the least you can do is mend his broken heart. Glued back the all the pieces before you decide to throw it away. Who knows maybe there’s someone out there who’ll appreciate him more than you do.” Yoongi is silence with what Jin had said.
“What exactly happen to you?” Jin sighs. “I got greed” Yoongi finally says. “You know how bad I am at expressing my feelings. There are times where I struggled with my anxiety and got nowhere or maybe no one to turn to. That is when Jimin come along. He saw me breaking down in the studio and confronted me about it and that is how it started. He was there with me when I’m at my weakest state and comforted me. I started telling him about my insecurity and anxiety. I feel like finally someone who understands me. I can never talk about this thing with Taehyung because that kid is like a ball of sunshine with no worries. No way he’s gonna understands me but Jimin did because he too has his own insecurity issues to deal with. It was supposed to be a relationship between two members or hyung and dongsaeng but I don’t know how and when the relationship that supposed to stop there continues to bloom and the next thing I know, we started making out and that didn’t stop there.” Yoongi finally have the courage to tell the eldest hyung about what exactly happen and how things end up like this. Yoongi heard Jin sigh again.
“That’s where you were wrong, Yoongi. When you're standing on the edge of breaking down, you know that you can’t trust your head, right? But you still did and you, out of the other people should have notice that Taehyung has his own insecurity too. After all the years you guys had been together, I thought that you had noticed it but I was wrong I assume. Taehyung, he always thinks that he didn’t contribute much to the group. He was the last to join the group and that he thinks that mostly because of his look and so he doesn’t want people to label him as another pretty boy with no talent so he practiced a lot in terms of dancing and singing. I know that because I always caught him in the practice room dancing alone and sometimes I heard him practicing on his singing. That was all during our trainee days but that didn’t even stop after our debut though. Whenever we nearly our comeback, I always notice his disappointed look when he saw that he still got less part in the song though in my opinion, he had improved a lot and deserve as much part as we are. It wasn’t hard to understand him actually. All you need to do was observe him and then all of his insecurity will show through though he was quick to dismiss it and put on his usual happy face.” Yoongi was beyond speechless after hearing what Jin had told him. He feels so embarrassed of himself. He feels so selfish.
“I…I didn’t know that” Yoongi's words came out stutter. “I’m so selfish for wanting and expecting him to understand me but at the same time I didn’t even try to do the same to him.” Yoongi covers his face in shame. Jin patted his shoulder comforting him. “It’s okay. All lovers have their fair shares in getting into argument. People make mistake and they learn from it. It’s not too late to fix this. Don’t give up just yet. Find him, Yoongi-ya. You know, when someone start to run away or disappear, all they wanted the most is to be found and I think that Taehyung too is waiting to be found. I just hope you found him first before someone else did and take him away from you.” Jin whispered the last part to himself but Yoongi heard him nonetheless.
After the talk with Jin, Yoongi had been trying to find Taehyung every day. There’s not a single day passed without him going out to find Taehyung. The other members too, help him to find Taehyung but to no avail, no one came back with good news. It’s been a year now and Yoongi is near to breaking down because he just misses the younger so bad and the guilt in his heart is slowly eating him. Yoongi started drinking a lot and came back all drunk late at night. The members are all worried about him but there’s nothing they can do to help him. Namjoon tried to talk to Yoongi but he was pushed by the later and he quickly shoved passed Namjoon and went straight to his room. This last for about three months and the members starting to worry about his health so they agree to confront Yoongi that one night. They were all gathered in the living room.
“Yoongi hyung, you need to stop being like this.” Namjoon look at his miserable hyung who was sitting on the couch like a dead person. His eyes show sympathy towards his hyung. If you ask Namjoon how he feels a year ago, he would had say that he is disappointed in his hyung and blame him for all the wrong doings but seeing his hyung in this condition, he can’t help to feel sorry for him. “You should be out searching for Taehyung, Yoongi-ya, not going out to drown yourself in sorrow by getting drunk. What were you thinking? You could get hospitalized for abusing the alcohol for god sake!” It was Jin and Namjoon who do the talking mostly. The other members just stood silent watching the older but the silence was interrupted by a loud gasp coming from Jungkook and all the members including Yoongi quickly turn their heads at the maknae who currently looking like he had just watched some horror video. Namjoon was about to slap Jungkook’s head for being distracting before he heard a familiar voice coming from Jungkook’s phone and all of them gasp instantly. There, was the voice they all miss so much, vibrating the entire room. That voice is singing beautifully to the song and it doesn’t take a music genius to feel the pain and sadness in that voice. The voice continue to sing,
"Just hold me, hold me a little
don’t say anything and please just run to me
with a heart that’s nothing but lonely and anxious
I’m waiting for you like this
I love you, I love you
in the long silence, a sound comes, screaming
from my foolish and weak heart"
The voice had come to stop and the room fell silent. No one manage to process what had just happen. No one dare to move afraid that it will break the bubble of dream that they all just had. The silence was disturbed by a quiet sobs coming from Yoongi’s direction and they instantly came back to earth. Jin is now comforting Yoongi while Namjoon ask Jungkook for an explanation to what had just happened. “What was that, Jungkook-ah?” Namjoon sits beside Jungkook who is still yet to recover from the shock. “I don’t know Namjoon hyung. I just browse around Youtube and this video was on the suggested video. I saw the date and it was uploaded 3 days ago so I click it play and then I got shocked as much as you guys did.”Jungkook shove his phone to Namjoon to show him the video and Namjoon was about to click play when Yoongi snatch the phone away and watch it instead.
"I can’t beat my sad heart
again I’m enduring the dark and sleepless nights
without regard for my despair
the morning indifferently wakes me
the wound burns more than expected
the hurt goes deeper than expected
the countless nights of resenting you are like hell to me"
Taehyung’s voice vibrating through the whole room again and by now, Yoongi is a sobbing mess. He can’t help but to cry whenever he hears Taehyung’s voice. He miss hearing that voice, he miss seeing his face. He watches the video with tears stained eyes and he saw that Taehyung in the video is holding his own tears while singing it. He clutches the phone closer to his chest while cradling it as if he was cradling a crying Taehyung. The other members can’t help to shed some tears too while looking at Yoongi who’d always so indifferent is now crying. They know how much he loves Taehyung and how guilty he feels after betraying him. Slowly one by one went to Yoongi and hug him and cradle him to sleep.
Yoongi woke up the latest with a pounding head. He can’t remember how did he ended up sleeping on the couch but suddenly last night event came across his mind and he feel a tug on his heart. He quickly unlocks his phone and search for Taehyung on Youtube. He watches that fancam again, closely. He observes the surrounding to see if he can see any landmark that can make him notice where this was taken but fail to do so since the uploader choose to zoom into Taehyung’s face. He was so close to send a message to the uploader asking for the place where she met Taehyung using his own account. He creates a fake account and messaged her. He waited for a while, waiting for a reply but then decide to get up and get some food.
“How are you feeling?” Jin greeted him when he walks into the kitchen. “Unwell? My head is killing me and I know I look like shit right now” Yoongi replied while seating on the empty seat who normally occupied by Taehyung. “Get some rest, hyung. You really look like shit right now.” Namjoon instantly smacks Jungkook’s head after that. “Don’t worry Yoongi hyung, Hobi hyung and I will go out to search for him today. Jungkook already left a comment on the video asking where the video was taken and some people said it’s in Hongdae while some said it’s in Busan. Hobi hyung knows some people in Hongdae so we can try and find him.” Jimin said while patting on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Jungkook and I will head to Busan. That brat said he knows Busan like his own room so he can find him in a second if he really is in Busan.” Jungkook smirk when Namjoon said that. “Why don’t you go back to your hometown and rest, Yoongi-ya. You need a change of air and I think maybe Daegu will give you just what you need.” Jin spoke. “Maybe I should.” Yoongi replied.
A week after the discovery of Taehyung’s fancam singing Jeong Jun Il sunbaenim’s Hug me, Yoongi got a message from Jungkook, ‘Hyung, she upload another fancam and the date stated that it was taken today and she even mentioned it’s in Daegu, hyung!’ and below was the link to the said video and Yoongi quickly click play.
"Nevermind I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me I beg I’ll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love
but sometimes it hurts instead
Nothing compares no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes they’re memories made
Who would have known
how bittersweet this would taste"
Yoongi bolts out running from his home to where he thinks Taehyung is and he saw a group of people crowding over something at the scene and he squeezed in only to be disappointed that it’s not what he expect it to be. Devastated, Yoongi decide to grab a coffee and head to the beach. On the way to the beach, he kept replaying the latest fancam of Taehyung while singing along to it. He reaches the beach and decides to just sit on the bench instead of dirtying himself with the sand. He is in no mood to do that. He kept on replaying both of the fancam till Taehyung’s voice sounded surreal and its scares him to know that he’s finally going insane. He still hears Taehyung’s voice inside his head but the voice is singing something else that is not the same song that he’d been listening to so he snaps his head to the direction of that voice and there he sees Taehyung surrounded by little kids, singing to a Pororo theme song. He looks so happy and Yoongi is afraid to even approach him. Afraid that he will take away that smiles off of him but another part of him wanted to just throw himself at the younger and smother his face with longing kisses to tell him how much he had misses him and how regretful he is towards the younger but he decides to just watch Taehyung from far.
Observing every inch of his face, the way he flash his infamous boxy smiles towards the kids, the way his lips will form a pout when one of the kids said Pororo is so yesterday, the way he will argue with the kids as if he was a kid himself and all other ridiculous things that he’s doing with the kids. Yoongi realized how was an asshole he is for mistreating Taehyung. He wants to go to Taehyung so bad but then he notices there’s a kid had approached him and tug his hand towards Taehyung. Yoongi is panicking inside but Taehyung is still oblivious about his presence so he just stood there silently. “Taetae oppa, this Mint-haired oppa had been staring at you so I brought him to you” That kid said out loud and this reminds Yoongi of why he’s not really fond with kids.
Taehyung glances up and gasp. He is shocked and the only thing he can do is stares at Yoongi with mouth agape. Yoongi is scratching his head nervously and before he can manage to say something, he was pushed to the wall. “How dare you come here after what you had done to my Taetae!” The guy who had pushed him growled. “Baekhyun hyung, it’s ok. I can handle this” Taehyung said after recovering from shock, only after all the kids scream and scatter leaving them three alone. “Not before I punch him in the guts!” with that he punches Yoongi. “I’m gonna break that pretty face of yours too so that your new boyfriend will dump you after seeing your ugly face!” and he punch Yoongi at the face. Yoongi doesn’t even have time to avoid the punch but then again, he thinks he really deserves this. “Baekhyun hyung! Stop! I’m begging you!” Taehyung screams with tears in his eyes and quickly went to Yoongi grabbing his hand before he fall to the ground. If Taehyung wasn’t quick enough, maybe Yoongi had fall face first on the floor. “It’s ok Taetae, I deserve this” Yoongi said weakly. “Hell no! I’m not gonna let him punch you again.” Taehyung shields Yoongi away from Baekhyun. “Enough hyung, you had done whatever you wanted to do so please just leave us alone. I’m old enough to handle this.” Taehyung said and walk away leaving the beach.
“Ouchhhhouchhhhahhhhhh it hurts!” Yoongi whine while Taehyung is cleaning up the bruises. Taehyung just ignores all the whines and continue cleaning up. Yoongi just watch Taehyung’s face. Expressionless. It’s like he no longer have any emotions to show. “Taehyung-ah” Yoongi said but is ignored by Taehyung but instead Taehyung wipe harder on his wound and Yoongi yelp in pain. “It hurtssssssss.” Yoongi whine again. “Well, didn’t you say you deserve it? Stop whining and take it as a man.” Taehyung retort while applying the antiseptic on the wound and Yoongi wince but didn’t say anything so Taehyung take it as a cue to continue. He then take out a plaster and put it on the wound, when he finish, he give Yoongi a once over and sigh. There are few cuts on his lips, almost black eyed on his left eyes and some minor scratches on his face.
“I’ll be down if you need me” Taehyung heads out but was stop by Yoongi who grab his wrist softly, “I’m sorry Taehyung-ah. I really am and I miss you a lot too.” Taehyung just stood there with his back facing Yoongi without any response. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, your love or you yourself, but please accept my apology and please know that I’ve never stop loving you, Taehyung-ah. What happen between Jimin and I was a mistake. A mistake that I shouldn’t have did or let it happen, but you, us, it’s not a mistake, Taehyung-ah. I’ve never felt so right in my life by loving you. I love you truly. Never had I ever doubted what I’m feeling towards you.” Yoongi continue talking but then he heard small sobs and his heart breaks even more so he tug on Taehyung’s wrist so that he is now facing him.
“Please don’t cry anymore. I’m not worthy of your precious tears.” Yoongi wipes the tears away and pulls Taehyung in his embrace. That action only made Taehyung cry even more. “Ssssshhhhh sshhhhh” Yoongi is now cradling Taehyung on the bed. They stay like that for a while before Taehyung started hitting Yoongi’s chest. “Ouchhhh ouchhhh” and Taehyung stop immediately panic at the sudden yelp because he thinks he didn’t hit him that hard, he had forgotten that Yoongi is still beat up after the beating he took from Baekhyun. He mumbles a sorry at Yoongi’s chest and Yoongi just hum. Taehyung look up examining Yoongi’s face and Yoongi notice that so he stares back into Taehyung’s eyes. There he sees a lot of emotion he had never seen before. It’s a mixed emotion between hurt, relieved, sorry and love. All mixed into one.
Yoongi lean closer to Taehyung’s face and Taehyung didn’t even pull away so Yoongi lean a bit more closer until both of their noses are touching. Slowly Yoongi close his eyes and capture Taehyung’s lips into his. It was only an innocent peck and he slowly draws away and to see Taehyung’s reaction. Taehyung whine with the lost of contact so Yoongi capture his lips again with more pressure added. From innocent peck to passionate kiss, when it started to get intimate, Yoongi yelps when Taehyung accidentally bites on his busted lips. “Way to kill the mood, hyung.” Taehyung pulls away but Yoongi is quick to grab Taehyung’s neck and smash their lips again as if they hadn’t been interrupted before. Yoongi push Taehyung on the bed and hover over him. Smiling at how needy Taehyung is right now, he can’t blame him though, because it’s been a year since their last make out session so he attack Taehyung’s lips again while his other hand roam under Taehyung’s shirt and he shivered at the contact. Oh how he had missed this alot. His hands travel deeper inside Taehyung’s shirt and found its way to Taehyung’s nipple. Taehyung moan at the contact. Yoongi smirk and pinch it harder while his leg gets in between Taehyung’s thigh. Yoongi is satisfied with the reaction but then his hand was slap away by Taehyung.
“Are you sure you are in the right condition to do that? You can’t even kiss me properly without wincing here and there and yet you still want to take this further?” Taehyung look at him with sleepy eyes. “Let’s just sleep. I’m sleepy.” Taehyung unconsciously whine. “Only if I get to cuddle.” Yoongi bargains. “Wow, Baehyun hyung really did some damage to your head, didn’t he? Yoongi hyung though he secretly enjoys cuddling never once initiates it first let alone ask to cuddles.” Taehyung shakes his head while clicking his tongue as if he is blaming Baehyun for Yoongi’s weird behavior. “Shut up, or I’ll take you here right now, without preparing you first nor using any lube. I’ll take you raw, Taetae. Are you up for the challenge?” Yoongi wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way and Taehyung can’t help but to blush. Yoongi just laugh seeing Taehyung’s now red face.
“You’re so cute when you’re blushing. I miss seeing it.” He added and Taehyung hit Yoongi’s chest in return. “Ouch!” Yoongi yelps. “Well, now who’s the one who is not up for the challenge, huh Mr. Acting Tough?” Taehyung mocks. “Okay okay, let’s just go to sleep” Yoongi pouts and Taehyung just laugh. They both stripped themselves from their clothes leaving only boxers on and slip into the blanket. Both stare on the ceiling enjoying the silence before Yoongi decides to break it. “So, can I still get to cuddles?” He is now facing Taehyung’s side profile. Taehyung turns to him and mock him, “Yeah yeah you big baby, come and give me cuddles” Yoongi grins and spoon Taehyung into his embrace and snuggle closer. He can smell Taehyung’s scent faintly mixed with his shampoo. It’s an addicting scent that he had grown addicted for the past years and getting to smells that smell again gives him a satisfaction.“Can I get one more thing?” Taehyung who just about to fell asleep just hum. “It’s selfish but can I get you back?” Yoongi waits for reply. Taehyung took a breath and let it out, “I had always been yours.” With that Yoongi leans closer and capture Taehyung’s lips into a kiss. He then peppers kiss Taehyung’s face before bidding goodnight to already half asleep Taehyung.
Yoongi was awake by the continuous vibrating coming from his phone on the nightstand. Afraid that it’s something emergency, he grabs his phone and read the notifications that said he had received about 5 missed calls and 20 messaged from Jungkook. He unlocks his phone and decides to read the messages first.
‘Hyung, did you recognize that place?’
‘Hyung some said Taehyungie hyung is in front of some music store when that video was taken.’
‘Hyung, did you get my message earlier?’
‘Hyung, what are you doing?’
‘Hyung?’
‘Why aren’t you replying to my text?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘You are still breathing, right?’
‘HYUNG! PLEASE PICK UP MY CALL!’
‘YOU’RE STARTING TO GET ME WORRIED, HYUNG!’
‘WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?’
And that was enough for Yoongi to give Jungkook a reply he deserves. He’s in a deep thought as to what to reply to Jungkook. He type and then delete it and type it again only to delete it again. Frustrated, he take a look at Taehyung who’s curled up on his chest with blanket pulled down till his waist revealing his silky smooth back and immediately he got an idea. He opens the camera app and took a picture of half-naked Taehyung and sends it to Jungkook with a caption, ‘Sorry, I got distracted.’ And click send. He put his phone back on the nightstand and decides to get some more sleep. He heard his phone vibrates and saw Jungkook’s name so he decides to read the message.
‘Ewww hyung! I don’t need a proof shot of you guys having sex! TMI! TMI! GODDAMMIT! My poor innocence eyes! Thanks to you my eyes had lost their virginity! Oh by the way, put your sex life aside, I’m glad that you manage to find Taehyungie hyung. You guys even made up that fast. *I am surprise that he forgive your sorry ass that easy* I’m happy for you both, hyung. You both are meant for each other. Tell Taehyungie hyung I miss him damn much and he owes me countless trip to an ice cream parlor when you guys return back here. Speaking of it, the hyungs said take as much time you guys want before coming back here because we probably will be busy with the comeback now that we had found Taehyungie hyung.” He replied Jungkook with and ok and store away his phone.
He looks down at still sleeping Taehyung and smiles. He plants a small kiss on Taehyung’s head and smiles when Taehyung whines. “I’m still sleepy, stop bothering me.” “And everyone said I’m the sleepy head.” Yoongi whined and with that Taehyung slowly opens his sleepy eyes. “Don’t act all mighty with me, this is your first time you’re awake earlier than me.” Yoongi grins at that. “Tae, thank you for forgiving me after all the horrible things I’ve done to you. Thank you for accepting me back. You don’t know how much it means to me honestly.” Yoongi said with a soft voice. Taehyung cups Yoongi’s face in his hands, “Well, isnt’ it what love is all about? Sometimes it hurt, sometimes it doesn’t and our love is not worth playing chicken with it. Let the bad memories pass. We are where we’re mean to be, that’s all that matters.” With that, Taehyung lean closer and kiss Yoongi’s grinning lips.