Chapter Text
And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me
Dreams - The Cranberries
Sam watched from the bench as Daniel and Teal’c helped Cassandra across the monkey bars.
Well. Teal’c helped.
Daniel looked like he was about to drop the poor girl at any moment.
Going back for Cassandra against orders had been reckless. Sam knew that. Hammond knew that. The Colonel definitely knew that. But Sam had always been dangerously comfortable with chasing adrenaline and gambling with precious things. This time, she’d bet on her life.
Besides, she had done the math.
While everyone panicked about Cassandra blowing up, Sam was calculating the probability of the event actually happening. When the girl woke up in the elevator, Sam figured that the odds of her blowing up were lower than the odds of her not blowing up. Not low enough to make the decision smart exactly, but low enough for her to take the risk.
And she would do it again.
Which was probably a problem.
“Captain.”
Sam glanced up as Colonel O’Neill sat down beside her on the bench. She straightened automatically. “Sir.”
A small silence settled between them as they watched Cassandra laugh while Teal’c lifted her across to the next bar. Daniel hovered nearby, ready to catch her. He probably wouldn’t be able to.
The colonel cleared his throat. “You disobeyed a direct order today.”
Oh boy.
Sam looked down at the straps of her sandals, tracing the edge of one with her thumb before finally nodding. “Yes, Sir.”
“I can’t have that happening, Carter.” His tone stayed even, almost casual, but she could see underneath the walls he had built around himself. Fear and frustration and concern. “You could’ve died today,” he said bluntly.
Sam swallowed.
She wasn’t going to defend herself again. She had already spent half the day explaining herself. The decision still made sense to her. So did the outcome. She was never going to leave that little girl all alone.
But that didn’t mean he was wrong.
“I’m sorry, Colonel,” she said quietly. She didn’t know what to say. “It won’t happen again.” The words seemed like lies coming out of her mouth.
“But it will,” he said immediately. “That’s just the kind of person you are.”
The way he read her like an open book should’ve made her uncomfortable, but it didn’t.
His gaze shifted toward Cassandra, softening almost imperceptibly as the girl shrieked with laughter while Daniel nearly lost his grip on her sneaker.
She tensed, waiting for the reprimand she probably deserved.
Instead, he sighed.
“And that’s okay…” he admitted reluctantly. “Sorta.”
Her eyebrows lifted slightly.
“I know I can trust you out there,” he continued. “You’ve proven that enough times already.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. No physics could explain how his hair fell back into place perfectly. “Just— try not to die will ya?”
He wasn’t joking, but he wasn’t serious. His words were somewhere in-between.
Like him.
In-between was a place. A place where the most honest things about Jack O’Neill lived. He didn’t mask his feelings with humor, but he also didn’t hand them over freely.
It seemed like their conversations existed in that place—the unspoken words and the glances that showed everything.
It was… bizarre. Sam had never experienced something like that. Something so pure and honest without the need for words.
“Yes, Sir,” she said softly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. “Excellent.”
The Colonel pushed himself to his feet, dusting off his khakis as Cassandra playfully-punched Daniel. “C’mon, Sam,” he said, jerking his head toward the playground. “Let’s teach the kid how to actually climb those things.”
Sam looked over just in time to see Daniel nearly drop Cassandra entirely.
“Without breaking any bones.”