Chapter Text
SHANE'S POV
Knock, knock, knock
…My eyes blearily open from the noise. ‘It’s probably nothing’ I thought to myself as my eyelids started to droop.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I push myself deeper into the nest, its comfort and warmth overriding my basic functions. Yet the noise keeps persisting.
“…ne! It’s us, can you open the door?”
That sounded familiar, but who is it? Some form of shuffling was happening by my chest as I heard a small mumble. “noisy…mama its noisy.” My consciousness along with my eyes slowly waking up to who was calling me, as my eyes were looking up at the ceiling it tracked on the small figure laying on my chest.
And there he was, Dmitri, the pup from practice. God, thought I was having a mid-day hallucination but nope he is still here. My The pup is still here, laying comfortably on my chest, a small smile crept into my face seeing how cuddly and gripping unto my shirt, as if not wanting to let go of me. Pup sleepy. Must let pup sleep more. As the knocking grew louder Dmitri started to whimper, burying himself further to my chest, his scent spiking up due to the disturbance.
Noise will wake pup. Stop noise. Pup needs sleep.
Just the thought of his sleep being disturbed made my instincts go on overdrive. I carefully maneuvered myself from his grasp, making sure my scented shirts were by his nose to continue sleeping without me. I got up slowly from the bed and headed over to the front door, annoyed that my sleep was interrupted and almost woke the pup up; someone either has to be injured or at a point of dying if they are going to interrupt our nap time. As soon as I got to the door I twisted its knob and opened to see both Hayden and JJ outside, my eyes furrowing from the natural light.
“What?” I snapped. JJ flinched while Hayden brought his arms up to his head, “hey, we just wanted to drop by and see how you guys are doing. No need to get defensive.” My omega growled inside, Stupid alphas. I silently took a deep breath, calming myself down before anything bad would happen. “Is it okay if we come inside…please?” JJ said with hesitance in his voice, “oh and we bought the pup some snacks,” that instantly preened my omega and made myself happy.
“Okay come in. Use only inside voices, Dmitri is still sleeping,” I opened the door wide as they walked in and went over to the couches to sit down, I sat opposite to them. “So that’s his name? Dmitri?” Hayden asked and I nodded, still tired from the nap I took. An awkward silence took over. No one said anything for some time until Hayden cleared out his throat, “so, is he yours? Is he your pup?” He questioned. It took me some time to think about it, biologically he’s not but my inner omega and instincts are yelling simultaneously with YES! How do I begin to explain this bond we shared without sounding crazy.
“I…I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? DésoléSorry, but the pup called you mama in front of us Shane. There has to be a connection, ouaisyeah?”
“Yeah I mean, either the pup is going through something traumatic or you’ve been hiding out on us” Hayden’s accusations startled me. My omega growled inside.
“I don't like how you’re accusing me of hiding a secret family, mind you, I’m also in the same boat on who the pup belongs to.” My tone becomes sharp as my voice increases volume. “I don't even know Dmitri yet every part of me is screaming that he’s mine. God it's as if I did give birth to him. When I see his little face and his little mannerisms my omega can’t help but see him as mine. It’s crazy right? Getting so attached to a pup you don't know yet there’s this bond you can’t explain but—”
“Then why were you playing as his mama?” JJ fired back.
“I don't know if you smelled it JJ but the pup was distressed, borderline going into a drop—I had no choice!”
“Hey, hey, you’re seconds away from a panic attack. Breath for us Shane,” I snorted, “rich coming from someone just accusing me earlier.” Hayden winced, “yeah okay that was unfair of me, lets just all take a second to calm down. Still doesn't answer my confusion on who his parents are.”
“Better question is where’s his parents? This has to be neglect, nonno?” JJ wondered, that brought me into a pause. Where ARE his parents? Surely they didn’t abandon him, right? He’s the definition of a perfect pup, who would do such a thing? Before I spiral even more, small steps can be heard coming from the bedroom. We all looked to see Dmitri carrying what looks to be one of my shirts as he rubbed his eyes.
“Mama?” His voice still sleepy from the nap, shit he woke up. “Hey love, did we wake you?” He nodded his head, clutching my shirt tightly to his chest, “why are you fighting with uncle Hayde and uncle JJ?”
Alarm bells were ringing in my head, uncle? I would understand me being called mama if my scent felt familiar, but calling Hayden and JJ uncles on the other hand. I looked over to them, seeing their faces contort into confusion, I raised an eyebrow giving the message of Hayden shrugging his shoulders while JJ furrowed his brows in response. This is getting stranger by the hour.
“Wanna come and sit right here, uh, Dmitri?” “We brought you snacks too!” JJ added awkwardly, showing the plastic bag in his hands. The pup gave a lazy smile as he walked over by the couch, sitting in between them: JJ on his left and Hayden on his right. “So, Dmitri—” “Demi!” “Right, Demi, do you like whippets?” JJ took one from the bag, one that says raspberry as its flavor, and offered it to the pup as his eyes shined bright at the treat.
“Thank you uncle JJ! You always bring my favorite,” he giggled as he snatched the chocolate from JJ's hand. “Oh, uh, no problem pitoupup,” JJ fumbled his words. Dmitri excitedly open the package and tore off whatever was getting in the way of his food, digging into it like his life depended on it.
I couldn’t help but find him eating as endearing, a small laugh coming out of me. “Now, take small bites mon cœrmy heart, we don’t want you to choke do we?” He shook his head, “ Désolé maman, je ferai attentionI’m sorry mama, I’ll be careful,” Dmitri responded. Good pup. Eating good. Must feed more.
JJ and Hayden looked at each other before reverting back to the pup, “by the way Demi, who’s your parents?” Hayden asked. Dmitri stopped mid-bite to his snack and turned to face Hayden, “what do you mean?” tilting his head before huffing, “uncle hayde, maybe it's your like million concussions that caused your memory to be bad but you can’t be this forgetful.” Rolling his eyes before mumbling on, “no wonder papa calls you 15th best player.”
I clapped my hand on my mouth, suppressing my laugh from the amount of attitude this pup has, JJ though had a booming laugh coming from him. He kept slapping his knees as his unrestrained laugh echoed in the room. “Oh, mon amimy friend, this pup got you there” Hayden shoved him, “hey shut up!” He looked back at Dmitri, “who’s your dad? Me and him are going to have words, young man” the pup just shrugs as he continues eating his snack.
“No thank you or else you and him will fight again. I don’t wanna hear the same arguments like papa telling you that you have one million kids or you calling him a menace to society.” Dmitri smirks as he speaks, most similar to an alpha he knows.
“Mon cœrMy heart,” my tone hinting at a warning, “I’m sorry mama. I won’t make fun of uncle Hayde anymore,” I nodded at his words. Then his eyes started to dart around, looking for something that was not there. “Mama, where’s Rina?” Worried, he got out of the couch and walked around the room.
“Rina? Rina!” Dmitri called out. “Who’s Rina?” JJ asked cautiously, Dmitri turned around looking more and more confused, “what is going on? This is the second time someone asked who’s Rina. This is not funny uncle JJ!” He ran towards my bedroom still calling out the named rina. “Rina, ty gde?! My ne v pryatki igraemwhere are you?! We’re not playing hide and seek!!” He ran around a few times checking every door and room within my apartment. He’s running so fast that I couldn't move without him searching in yet a different area. Panic is slowly building up in his voice, I can smell his scent in the beginning of distress. Pup scared. Pup distress. MUST COMFORT PUP.
”Dmitri! Slow down!” I called out but he did not budge, he came to a stop but he wasn't acting as himself; his chest was expanding and contracting yet his eyes were still looking around. He looked at me with eyes welling up with tears, “mama I can’t find Yurina! Je sais pas où elle est et personne ici sait c'est qui ! Faut que je la trouve ! Je suis son grand frère, je suis le pireI don’t know where she is and no one here knows who she is! I have to find here! I’m her older brother, I’m the worst——”
“No, Demi, no” I stood down at his level and hugged him tight, "don't call yourself that, im sure Yurina is safe.” My scent slowly envelopes us as I caress his back, his tears wetting my shirt, “maybe she’s with your papa right now.” I reassured him, it brought some sense of relief but not enough to quell his tears, “but it doesn't explain why you guys don’t know who she is!” I winced at his words, there’s only so much performing I can do. I sighed in defeat, I need to get to the bottom of this.
I took him in my arms as I walked back over to the couch, both JJ and Hayden had the same worried look in their eyes. They gave away a seat for me in the middle, as I sat down the pup went from sobbing to sniffling, “let’s all start from the beginning Dmitri.” The pup looked up at me, my heart clenched seeing his eyes go red along with his nose.
“Tell us your name—full name—and full names of your papa and mama.”
“But mama why are you—”
“I understand,” smudging away tears that escaped. “But we need to clear up some misunderstandings first.” The pup, not having any more energy to fight, nodded.
“My name is Dmitri Ilyich Hollander-Rozanov, my papa is Ilya Grigoryevich Hollander-Rozanov and my mama is Shane Hollander-Rozanov.”
.
.
.
“Either I need a medical checkup on my ears or did I hear him say his dad is Rozanov” Hayden answered first, shock would be an understatement to this bombshell of a statement. My mouth opened but no noise came out. You mean to tell me that: the alpha I have been hooking up with for the last few years, who basically told me that he loves me in a phone call in Russian, and who I just left from his place because it felt too real, is the alpha I will be mated with and would eventually have two pups? This has to be a joke, ‘if it's real no one wake me up’. PUP IS OURS. PUP IS ALPHA’S. NEED ALPHA.
“Oh mon dieuoh my God…”JJ gasp outloud.
The pup getting increasingly annoyed shouted, “WHY IS EVERYONE SO SURPRISED?! EVEN YOU MAMA!”
That woke us up from the shock. “Holy shit—ow!” I smacked Hayden in the head, “swear jar!” I called out. “Okay but that means you did have a secret family! With Rozanov of all people?!” “Hayden I am controlling myself when I say that I am as shocked as you!”
“Wait! This doesn't make sense though, Shane still uses Hollander and doesn't have a bite mark. That would mean he and Rozanov needed to be married and mated before they could have Demi!” Hayden stated.
“You do know you don't need to get married and mated to have a pup Hayde” I pointed out.
“I still stand by what I said!” I rolled my eyes. “Hold on, I have something,” JJ then looked at Dmitri with a calm smile. “ pitoupup, what’s the year today?” The pup's eyes light up, “oh! It’s 2027.” I froze, 2027? That’s 11 years from now.
“T’as quel âgeHow old are you?” I heard JJ asked.
“Dixten.”
“Wait—then, Dmitri, what year were you born?” I questioned. “2017?” Wait, that's the next year though, does that mean—Okay everything is getting chaotic, my head started to ache. I’m usually calm, yet since last week and now my emotions have been all over the place.
“Everything is getting out of hand. Dmitri, I want you to go to my room and wait okay? Me and your uncles are going to have an adult conversation. I will call you once we're done discussing, okay?”
“Are you mad at me?” He whispered. “No! I mean—no pup, we just need to clear up our own misunderstandings.” Dmitri stared up at me, his big blue eyes that are the color of Ilya’s, trying to find any lies in my words. “Okay mama,” he hopped out of my lap and walked to the direction of my room with my shirt in his hand. As soon as his footsteps were getting farther and quieter I let out a deep sigh, already knowing what’s to come.
“You have a few minutes to ask me any questions,” Hayden was about to speak but I cut him off, “no yelling or shouting.”
“Well first, are you and Rozanov in a relationship?”
“Define relationship…”
“oh my god, don't tell me you guys have been hooking up”
“Yes Hayden, we're adults. We have certain needs.”
“Okay well how long has this been going on?” It was JJ’s turn to speak, I tipped my head back, trying to recall the many years we spent with one another. The nights we spent in hotel rooms and a secret buried inside of us, not fully ready to accept that what we have—or had—would become a reality one day. It was, at first, for pleasure but then something happened—a switch that made me crave him more. I have given so much of myself to this sport, to the press, to everything, and yet no matter how much I want him the world wouldn’t let us; circumstances such as our careers made it difficult. We worked so hard to achieve the goals we have dreamed of getting and if it all falls because our relationship or whatever we have might cost us our career, I don’t know how I would recover—how we would recover.
“We hooked up in 2010 so six years ago”
“TabarnakFuck…Shane”
“Oh my god, he's Boston lily isn’t he. You mean to tell me the shit I see has been from him all along?!”
“Lily…ilya…lily, ilya. TabarnakFuck—Hayde we are so dumb for not noticing sooner!”
“Cats out the bag but yeah, he’s Boston lily. To be fair we were mostly on and off when we would hook up, depending on our game schedule. But doubt we would do it again since I basically ran away from him,” I said, burying my face into my hands. The event of that night still lingering in my mind, the what if’s building and creating life of its own, giving me mental images of what could have happened if I stayed. But the image of me staying scares me, it scares me how much I wanted it.
How I wanted us. Just us.
“Does this mean you’re gay shane?” I took a sharp breath from Hayden’s question. I did not plan on coming out this early, I had imagined doing so once I’m retired—when I feel safe to do so.
“I—well, yeah, I think so. I don’t have much experience being gay but what I have with Ilya…”I stopped, thinking through my words carefully. “It feels different, something I can’t explain unless you feel it yourself. No matter how much I try to deny Ilya, there’s this invisible pull that makes him want him even more. It’s scary.” The last part I admitted, how much it scares me that every bit of me would want him but logically I can’t.
Silence took over, the confession I made slowly being soaked up by the two alphas. ‘I hope this doesn’t change anything’, the thought made me terrified of their reactions. I trust them but I can’t predict what they might say or what our friendship will be after this.
A sigh came out of Hayden as he spoke, “is he the reason why you cried today and haven’t been yourself lately?” I nodded, not wanting to elaborate further.
“I can’t believe it, Canada’s golden boy with the Russian menace? Qui aurait cruWho would have known” JJ snorted, shaking his head.
“Were we…that untrustworthy that you had to hide this from us? I mean, you know us Shane. I understand why you wouldn’t want the rest of the team to know, but I would rather trade myself to the worst team in the league than make you feel unsafe around us. Or did we do something that made you think otherwise?”
I shook my head frantically, “no Hayde! That’s not it—I just—its complicated on my end. It’s hard being the first male omega to be in the NHL, especially as captain, including how I’m a minority as half-Japanese and then add being gay? I might as well be the holy trinity of tokenism that the league uses to boost their ratings and sponsorships on hockey being ‘inclusive’ for everyone. Not to mention how I’m already at a disadvantage in a sport that is dominated by male alphas and betas, who are white, and heterosexuals.” They didn’t say anything so I continued on, “it’s not that I didn’t feel safe or I did not trust you guys, believe me, there were moments I wanted to say it. But with how sensitive our situation is, it's hard; then there’s the whole issue of Russia in Rozanov’s side—its just a big pile of scattered mess that were still trying to navigate around and—.” My omega started to whimper from the stress, all of the thoughts and insecurities I have bottled up inside of me were now cracked open and I can't stop it.
JJ wrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me in, my nose hitting his scent gland. My body relaxed as my shoulders drooped from his action. “Hey, hey, you don’t need to explain or else you will spiral Shane. We don’t hate you, are we shocked? ouaisyeah, but this does not mean we see you less of a friend. We sure would have liked it if your alpha—” “he’s not my alpha” “—your alpha was nicer, less of an asshole and a menace, but if you’re happy with him then we will adjust. We're just frustrated for you, you had to hide your true self because of this sexist, homophobic, alpha-and-beta-white-centric of a sport. I don’t know how you were able to hide this thing with Rozanov for this long, but, if what Demi said is true then that means you and him have a good future with each other, focus on that.”
Hayden joined as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, essentially creating a group hug with me as the middle—our scents mingling with one another. “Thank you for telling us even though we’re a bit nosy, that’s because we care for you and we see how much you’ve worked hard to be where you are today. I know we can’t fully understand what you’re going through with Rozanov, as JJ said we will tolerate him if it means making you happy.”
My eyes were becoming blurry as my chin was shaking from all the emotions swirling inside of me. This is what I needed—acceptance. The acceptance that no matter what, I still have people on my side. Pack happy. “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
“Stop that, if you’ll cry then I’ll cry,” “if you both cry then I might as well cry too,” I laughed at their antics, momentarily pausing from an almost crying episode out of me. “You guys are fucking idiots,” I replied as my face curled into a smile, a few minutes pass before I separated from the hug.
“Honestly, now that we know who Demi is, it makes so much sense he’s your son. Sure, he’s got Rozanov’s eyes and attitude, but he got his looks from you Shane,” Hayden commented. “Oh! And he can speak French so fluently!” JJ followed up.
“He can actually speak four languages. English, French, Japanese, and Russian.” My omega being proud of how I brag about my pup. Pup smart. “Said how me and Ilya are competitive, I’m not surprised to be honest,” I joked, a small chuckle came out. “Everytime I see him—his eyes—I can see Ilya through him. You didn’t see it but he smiles the same as him, the way his eyes light up the same way as him, I mean his little smirk was like Ilya’s too.”
“Ah so it’s Ilya now, no Rozanov?” JJ teased as I rolled my eyes.
“Should have got the hint when he called me 15th best player and the ‘million kids’ joke, only he would come up with those.” Hayden shook his head down, “of all the alpha men out there, yet you saw that Russian menace and were like ‘yes, I want him’. God, was there a shortage of good Montreal alphas for you?”
“Well, unfortunately none of them were Russian, could speak Russian, and could challenge me the same way as him.”
“Well capitainecaptain deserves only the best. Who better to be with him than the second in the league, ouaisyeah?” I chuckled in response, I couldn’t deny.
“Wait,” Hayden chimed in, “what did you mean when you said you ran away from him?” Fuck, I let out that part by accident, that’s a nightmare to explain.
“Ill keep it brief, when I hooked up with Ilya last week I went over to his penthouse he asked me to stay—already weird. I stayed, It was all fine—great actually. Then he made me tuna melt plus gave me ginger ale and…” I trailed off, getting embarrassed on what I was about to say. “And?” “…and we did it again, but this time he used my name, and I left.”
“So you got cold feet?” Hayden remarked.
“Damn capitainecaptain, who knew you got the guts to leave the playboy behind instead of the other way around.”
“Yeah well that single action of mine has ruined any chance I have to be with him.”
“Be positive mon amimy friend, because if you didn’t then Demi wouldn’t exist along with his sister,”
“Speaking of Demi, we need him back in the room, I think it’s about time we end our adult conversation,” they both nodded. “Dmitri! The adults are done, you can come now!”
Small steps can be heard approaching, half of Dmitri’s head pop out in the corner. “ OkorareruAm I in trouble??” I shook my head, “no you’re not mon cœrmy heart, come here.” I patted my lap, gesturing the space open, he gave a big smile before running straight to my lap and climbed up.
“Okay, Demi I think we understand why we might be confused and how you ended up here,” the pup tilted his head against my shoulder once Hayden started to talk.
“I think—hear me out! You might be from the future, it would make sense why you would have memories that we don’t know. It would make sense since right now your mama and papa are not together yet, meaning you and your sister haven’t been born yet.” Dmitri’s face crunched from Hayden’s explanation. Cute pup. Made cute pup. “But how is that possible though? That’s scientifically impossible!”
“True, but that’s the only explanation we have mon cœrmy heart.”
Dmitri pouted at me, I giggled inside on how my pup looks so adorable. I’m so glad that he really is my pup, he might look like me but it's the parts of him that resemble Ilya that makes me fall in love with him even more. “Then…” Dmitri suddenly gasps outloud, “does that make me the doctor from Doctor Who?!”
“Doctor what?”
The pup giggled uncontrollably, “it's not doctor what uncle JJ, it’s doctor who!”
“That’s the show with the guy that travels in time right? I don't think that’s appropriate for your age Demi buddy”
“But it's so cool uncle hayde! Also it was jade and ruby that got me to Doctor Who.”
“They did what?—”
“This is so cool, I got to travel back in time. But wouldn’t it mean I'm technically breaking time and space itself? Am I following the time rules? Are there time rules? Wait, should I even be here? Time jumping is so weird, I wish I was like the doctors.” Dmitri chattered away, not having a clue on what he was saying but I tried my best to follow along.
“If this whole ‘going back in time’ is true then Demi—and be honest with me, how are me and your papa like in the future?” That stopped his train of thoughts as he looked at the ground, playing with his fingers.
“Hmm, I guess if there was a word for you and papa it would be ‘soulmates’ I think is the word” soulmates? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, well he’s a pup maybe he sees it differently. “The way you and papa are, some people say it wouldn’t work at first. I hear it in school sometimes that your relationship is uh, what’s the word, something “T” and it sounds bad.”
“Toxic?” Hayden suggested, “yeah! Toxic! But they’re wrong! They don't see how papa, like, would make sure to give mama lots of kisses in the morning, or how he gives mama tiny notes by the fridge, or like how when mama says he needs something papa’s super fast in getting it to mama. Mama also does the same, mama gives him lots of hugs and kisses, when papa has bad day mama build tiny nest near him so he’s not lonely, and then mama makes his favorite Russian foods when he misses babushka Irina or just Russia. I know mama and papa can be embarrassing sometimes, but I like that they’re my mama and papa; mama makes me and rina safe and papa protects me and rina. I love my mama and papa.” Fuck, now the flood gates just opened, I hugged the pup tightly around my arms, scenting him all around.
“ Oh mon cher petit chiot, je t'aime plus que tout au monde. Aucun mot ne pourrait exprimer tout mon amour pour toi, et je suis sûre que ce sera la même chose quand je vais rencontrer ta sœur. J'ai tellement de chance de t'avoir comme petit chiotOh my dear pup, i love you more than anything in this world. No amount of words could express my love for you, im sure it will be the same once I meet your sister. Im so lucky to have you as my pup. .” I cried out, kissing his forehead to his nose to his chubby cheeks.
“Moi aussi! Je t’aime, mamanMe too! I love you, mama.” He giggled as he hugged me back.
“Now that we solved this debacle, I have a concern. Since we have Demi over, where will he stay when we have practice? not to mention for games.”
“Ah ouimy yes, that is an issue.”
“Can I go with obaachangrandma and ojiichangrandpa mama?” I thought for about a minute, weighing the pros and cons. Well for one it would be more convenient and more safe since it's a family member, but I’m dreading having to explain this situation to them. That’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation to have.
“I guess, but that would mean having to explain to them this entire thing and I’m exhausted,” I spoke frankly. “But for Dmitri’s sake, I'll address everything—yes Hayden I’ll also include my history with Ilya with it.”
“Sorry to add to your worry pile but how do you plan to explain to the team the situation, why Demi will be staying with you for a while,” Hayden added. “Well, since they think the pup might have mistaken me for his “mama” I can use the excuse that I'm trying to look for his family but that it's better if he’s with me because of his attachment.”
“On that note,” JJ slaps his hands unto his knees as he stands up from the couch. “Operation ‘get shane’s alpha back’ is a go!”
“Why is mama trying to get papa back?”
“Well little one that’s a story for another time. Also, please change that name”
“Nope, sorry mon amimy friend but you’re stuck with the name until you and Rozanov are back together.”
“Hang on,” a thought popped into my head, “when’s our next game with Boston?”
“Uh,” Hayden checks his phone for a minute. “In about two weeks from now.”
“Shit—”
“Swear jar!”