Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Weeks later, Est was standing against his car near the university gates, checking his watch. He felt like a cliché. The older man in the sharp outfit was waiting for the student, but the moment he saw William, his self-consciousness ebbed away.

William practically sprinted the moment he cleared the building's entrance. His heavy bag bounced against his shoulders, and his face lit up with that signature, blinding sunshine the second he spotted Est.

"P'Est!" William called out, oblivious to the crowd of students around him. He collided with Est in a messy, breathless hug, tucking his face in Est's neck for a brief, possessive second before pulling back to beam at him, "You're early! I thought you had a meeting?"

"I moved it," Est said, his voice softening as he reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from William's eyes, "I wanted to catch you before the rain started."

William's world narrowed down to just Est. He started rambling about his music theory lecture, his hands gesturing wildly, his entire focus locked onto Est as if there wasn't another soul on campus. 

But Est noticed. 

He couldn't help it. He saw William's classmates linger, their conversations dying down as they watched the scene. He saw a group of girls nudge each other, their eyes daring to look from William's radiant joy to Est's more reserved presence. There was a mix of envy, curiosity, and a strange kind of awe in their stares. 

To the world, they were an unlikely pair, but to William, Est was simply the only person who mattered. 

The weight of the stares felt like a physical pressure against Est's skin. Even as William laughed, recounting a joke his professor had made, Est could feel the silent questions from the crowd. He saw the way younger guys looked at his expensive coat, then at William's effortless youth, trying to solve the puzzle of the theoretical connection.

To them, Est was a figure of authority and structure. To them, William was a vibrant, rising star who belonged to their generation. The gay Est had feared so much felt like a canyon in the middle of the quad, and every part of their eyes watching them seemed to be measuring its depth. 

"P'Est? You okay?" William asked, his smile faltering just as frantically as he noticed Est's gaze drifting towards the onlookers.

Est forced a small, reassuring smile, but he didn't pull William closer. He felt a sudden urge to protect this. To tuck William away where their status wasn't something for others to dissect. He felt like a thief who had stolen something precious and was now waiting for the sirens to go off.

"I'm fine," Est said softly, though he couldn't shake the feeling of being an interloper in William's bright world. "Let's get out of here. I wanted to drop you off at home."

"Aww, you can't grab a bite with me?" William asked, pouting. 

Est shook his head, "No. I have to get back to work. I was only able to reschedule for less time."

William nodded, though he pouted, "I understand, Phi. Let's go! Can we stop for bubble tea on the way?"

"Sure," Est chuckled, nodding.

William's face brightened again, but as he moved to hop into the passenger's seat, Est caught the eye of one of William's classmates. Some guy who looked exactly like the kind of person Est thought William should be with. The look they exchanged was brief, but it left Est feeling cold.

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

The screen of his phone felt like it was vibrating in his palms. William stared at the header—MIDDLE RIDDLE RECORDS: Audition Invitation—until the letters blurred. He'd spent months playing to dusty vinyls and pop hits, and suddenly, the gate to his future had swung open.

"P'Est… no way!" William scrambled up, his knees digging into the couch cushions as he shoved the phone toward Est, "It's the invitation! Next Tuesday! I can't believe you actually did it!"

He felt a surge of pure adrenaline. For weeks, he'd been trying to prove he was more than just a kid with a guitar, and now Est, the man who saw every flaw and every spark, had put his own reputation on the line for him. William reached out, wanting to pull Est into a victory lap around the room, but he stopped when he saw the look on Est's face.

It wasn't the boyfriend's face. It was the look of the producer.

"Hey, listen to me," Est said, his voice dropping to a professional register that always made William's heart skip a beat for a reason he wasn't ready to voice. Est took his shaking hands, grounding him, "I gave the demo to the head of talent. That was it. I was just the courier."

William wanted to lean in, the taste of a celebratory kiss already on his tongue, but Est's grip stayed firm.

"I have no say in the panel's decision, and I won't even be in the building that day," Est warned. "This isn't a gift, N'William. It's an audition. You have to go in there and prove I wasn't wrong about you. You have to win them over yourself."

"Like I won you over?"

"William."

William felt the weight of it then. The excitement wasn't gone. But it shifted, turning into a hard knot of determination in his gut. He looked at Est and saw the silent pressure Est was under. If William failed, it wouldn't just be his own heartbreak, but it would be Est's mistake.

"I know," William whispered, leaning his forehead against Est's. The smell of Est's expensive cologne cooled his nerves. "I want it that way. I want to earn my place so that when people see us together, they know I'm not just there, I'm with you."

He closed his eyes, already imagining the cold air of the studio and the silent panel of judges. He had to be better than good. He had to be undeniable. 

William's thumb traced the edge of Est's hand, the initial high of the email beginning to settle. He looked up, his eyes bright with a sudden idea.

"Since the audition isn't until Tuesday," William started, a hopeful smile tugging at his lips, "maybe we could actually go on a date? Not just a quick dinner between your meetings or you picking me up from Uni. Maybe we could drive out to the coast? Just for a day?"

Est sighed, a small, weary sound that made William's heart sink before the answer even came. Est rubbed his temples, his eyes drifting towards the stack of folders on the coffee table.

"I'd love to, William. Truly," Est said, and William could hear the genuine regret in his voice. "But with the new production cycle starting, I'm going to be buried for the next few weeks. I'll probably be at the office until midnight most nights. A full day away…. It's just not possible right now."

William felt a sting of disappointment, but he forced himself to breathe through it. He looked at Est, really seeing the tired lines around his eyes and the way he carried the weight of everything on his shoulders. He didn't want to be another weight. He wanted to be the person who made it light.

"It's fine, P'Est," William said, his voice soft. He gave Est's hand a reassuring squeeze, trying to project the maturity he wasn't sure he fully felt yet. "I mean it. I know how much your work matters to you, and I know how busy things get. I'm not going anywhere."

He managed a small, brave smile, "I'll just use the extra time to practice until my fingers bleed. That way, when you finally do see me at the office, I'll be so good you'll have no choice but to make time for a victory dinner." 

Est looked at him, "It's really okay?"

"Mm," William nodded, smiling, though his heart still felt a little heavy. "Just remember that when I'm your newest star."

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

The lights in his office felt harsher than usual. Est sat at his desk, a cold cup of coffee forgotten next to a stack of files. He was staring at his calendar, a relentless grid of blue and red blocks that left no room for sunsets or spontaneous drives to the coast.

Yesterday's conversation played on loop in his head.

"It's fine, P'Est." 

"I know how busy things get."

William's voice had been so steady, so understanding. And that was the problem.

Est leaned back, rubbing his temples as the silence of his office grew suffocating. This was the exact fear he'd tried to warn William about. That he would eventually become nothing more than a voice on a phone or a tired body returning home long after the music stopped.

He began to spiral.

If William was already learning to be fine without him, how long would it take for that understanding to turn into indifference? To Est, William was the literal sun. He didn't want to be the one to dim that light. 

He worried that by being his partner, he was actually just being an absent one. Was William genuinely okay, or was he performing the role because he was afraid of losing the chance Est had given him?

The age gap felt less like a number and more like a different language. At William's age, Est would have been heartbroken by canceled dates. The fact that William wasn't making a scene made Est feel like he was already failing. Like he was providing a stable life, yes, but utterly drained of the passion a twenty-one-year-old deserved.

He looked at his phone, tempted to text a thousand apologies, but stopped. Apologies didn't fix anything. Action did. 

Est scanned for any possible gaps, any meetings he could move, but the production cycle was a wall he couldn't climb./There was no way he could make the drive to the coast happen this week without everything falling apart.

But then his eyes landed on next Tuesday—the day of William's audition. 

He checked the text from William. William should be done by 4 PM. It wasn't a lot of time, but it was something more than just a quick bite and lounging around. Est grabbed his mouse and began ruthlessly clearing the rest of his evening. He delegated a feedback session, pushed a mixing review to Wednesday morning, and marked the entire block from 4:30 PM onward in deep red: DO NOT DISTURB/

He didn't wait. He picked up his phone and dialed William's number.

"P'Est?" William's voice sounded a little muffled, like he'd been mid-practice, "Everything okay? You usually don't call this early."

"Everything's fine," Est said, his voice softening just at the sound of William's voice, "Listen, I checked my schedule. I really can't do the drive, but I made some changes. Next Tuesday, after your audition… the rest of the night is ours: no office, no emails, no midnight meetings. I'll be waiting at the car the second you walk out of the studio. We're going to celebrate."

There was a beat of silence on the other end, then a soft laugh that made Est's chest loosen.

"You moved things for me?" William asked, his voice sounding smaller, touched.

"I did," Est admitted, leaning back in his chair, a soft smile on his face, "I don't want you to just be fine with me being busy, William. I want to be there. So pass that audition, and then the night belongs to you. We'll go anywhere you want."

"I'll pass it," William promised, "But Phi, I have work in the evening. There is an event."

Est's heart sank just as quickly as it lifted. He stared at his monitor, a dry laugh leaving his lips, "Right…."

"Yeah," William's voice was apologetic, the bright energy now guilty, "I promised I would help him with the event, especially since he gave me some time to practice."

Est leaned back. He had spent all morning spiraling about being the one who was too busy, only to be reminded that William's world didn't stop and wait for him, either. William had his own responsibilities, his own loyalties, and his own life. One that didn't revolve entirely around Est's rare moments of free time.

"Of course. Work first," Est said, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"Don't sound like that," William pleaded softly, "I really want to see you. We can still do a celebratory dinner, right? Right, Phi? Come onnnn."

The younger man's voice dragged out the vowel in a playful, desperate whine that bypassed all of Est's defenses. He couldn't help but laugh softly, the tension bleeding from his shoulders. It was becoming dangerously hard to say no to him.

He sighed, though there was no weight to it, "Okay, fine. And then I'll drop you off at the shop?"

"Sounds like a plan," William agreed, his tone instantly brightening, "And seriously, Phi. Don't worry about changing things for me, though I do appreciate it. Makes me feel loved."

The words hung in the air, simply and devastating. You are loved, Est thought, the truth of it hitting him with a force that took his breath away. But he didn't dare voice it. He wasn't ready to let that word out into the open, not when he was still so afraid of how much power it gave the younger man over him.

"I'll see you later, N'William," Est said instead. He knew how much of a kick William got out of it when Est called him that. "Just focus on the music."

"Of course, Phi," William giggled. 

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

The day was supposed to be theirs, and it became a corporate nightmare. A crisis at the satellite office across the city had Est trapped in a glass-walled conference room, watching the sun dip lower as a legal team argued over a contract's minutiae. 

By the time he finally broke free and reached his car, he was already an hour late. His heart was hammering in his chest, a mix of adrenaline and crushing guilt. He dialed William's number as he maneuvered through the gridlocked city traffic.

"William, I'm so sorry," Est blurted out the second the line connected, "I just got out. The cross-town traffic is a mess, but I'm coming straight to you. We can still grab something, or I can pick something up ,and we can eat in my car—"

"Phi, hey, breathe," William's voice came through, startlingly calm. There was no edge of anger, no hint of disappointment Est had been bracing for. "It's okay. Really."

"It's not okay," Est countered, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. "I moved my whole day for this, and I still managed to mess it up. I'm over an hour late."

"P'Est, listen to me," William said softly, "By the time you cross the city, I'll already need to be at the shop. There's no point in rushing and stressing yourself out. We can just do dinner another time. It's fine."

The 'it's fine' hit Est harder than a shoulder would have. It was the same easy acceptance from before, the same lack of demands.

"I wanted to celebrate with you," Est said, his voice dropping. "You had your big audition today. I should be there."

"And you were there," William reminded him. "You're the reason I was in the room at all. I'm just happy I got to do it. Go home, get some rest, Phi. I'll call you later, okay?"

As they hung up, Est pulled over to the side of the road. The city lights blur through the windshield. He felt a hollow ache in his chest. William was being perfect. 

Understanding.

Mature.

Patient.

But as Est sat in the silence of his car, his old fears roared back to life: He's getting used to me not being there. I'm becoming the man who's always late, and he's becoming the man who doesn't mind.

The drive across town felt like a slow-motion descent into hell. By the time Est pulled up near the record shop, the vibrant crowd from the event had already thinned out. The neon sign in the wind flickered off, and the street was bathed in the hazy, blue glow of the streetlamps.

Est climbed out of his car, his heart heavy with an apology he wanted to deliver. He saw the show door swing open. William stepped out, looking exhausted but glowing with that post-performance hum he always had. Est opened his mouth to call his name, his hand halfway raised—and then he froze.

A girl, young and strongly pretty with a bright smile that matched William's own, stepped up beside him. Without hesitation, she looped her arm through William's, leaning her head against his shoulder as they started to walk down the sidewalk. William didn't pull away. In fact, he looked down at her and laughed, a warm sound that drifted through the quiet air.

The sight hit Est like a physical blow.

Every insecurity he'd been nursing for weeks suddenly coalesced into a single image. Of course, his voice hissed in the back of his mind. This is what happens when you're never there. He finds someone who is.

He watched them move further away, their silhouettes blending into the shadows of the city. They looked perfect together. Two young people with their whole lives ahead of them, unburdened by corporate offices or the exhaustion of being the mature one. To Est, it looked like a clean break. He wasn't the one William had chosen after all.

He stood by his car, the cool night air suddenly feeling like ice. He didn't call out. He didn't follow. He just watched the person he loved walk away with someone who didn't have to reschedule their life to be by his side. 

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

The texts and calls kept coming, but Est didn’t answer a single one.

He couldn’t. 

He knew the end was coming. The inevitable crash at the end of a high he never should have let himself feel. He'd spent so much time warning William about the gap between them, yet he was the one who had let his guard down, blinded by the sweet words and the kind of tenderness he'd forgotten existed.

Now the image of them together under the streetlamps was all that remained. She fit into William's world in a way Est didn't. Same university. Same youthful references. A schedule that didn't require constant coordination.

“Est, we’re done for the day. You can head out,” his co-producer smiled. Est managed a nod and gathered his things, his movements feeling robotic. He just needed to be alone.

He reached the car just as his phone lit up.

William: y arnt u anwrng my txts? Did I do smthng?

To move forward, Est knew he had to cut this at the source. Delete the contact and block the number. It was the only way to return to the predictable, professional routine he knew.

He opened the contact, his finger hovering over the delete option. But then, the screen transformed. William's name filled the display as the phone began to vibrate with an incoming call.

Est flinched; his thumb slipped in the moment of hesitation. Before he could pull back, the timer started. He had answered the call.

Shit.

“Phi?! Finally!”

Est closed his eyes, a heavy sigh escaping as he finally pressed the phone to his ear. Before he could utter a single word, William's voice rushed through the line.

“Phi, what’s going on? Are you okay? You haven’t answered any of my texts or calls for two days! I was about to go on a rescue mission.”

“I’m fine,” he lied. It was easier. “No need for a rescue mission.”

“Well, good, I guess.” William sounded defeated, his voice softening to that tenderness that made Est's heart ache, “But can you tell me what’s going on? I was really worried about you, P’Est. I thought something happened.”

Something did happen, Est thought. You happened.

But he kept the words locked. He couldn't tell William what he'd seen, or how the sight of that girl had confirmed every dark, insecure thought he'd been nursing. He already felt so small compared to William. He was too old, too buried in his work, and clearly not enough to keep someone like William interested for long.

“Phi? Talk to me. Please.” William pleaded.

Est drifted into a long, suffocating silence. He stared out through the windshield at the gray concrete of the parking garage, trying to map out his retreat. If he ended it now, maybe the pain would stay manageable. Maybe he could climb back into his world of clouds and rain, and forget he would know what the sun felt like.

He didn't want an explanation.

He just wanted to stop hurting.

"Let's break up."

"What?" William's voice didn't break, but exploded. "No! No way. You don't get to do that, P'Est. You don't get to disappear for two days and drop this on like you're signing off a damn email."

Est tried to pull the phone away, but William was shouting now, his voice thick with a mix of panic and unadulterated refusal, "You stay on the phone! You think I'm just going to say okay? After everything? After the audition, after the songs, after—" He choked on a sob, but his tone remained fierce, "If you're going to throw us away, you look me in the eye and do it! You don't get to be a coward, P'Est."

"William—"

"No, don't William me. I'm coming over. Right now. I'll sit on your doorstep until the neighbors call the cops. I don't care if you're busy or old or whatever other excuse you've spent forty-eight hours cooking up in that head of yours. You're telling me what is going on, because two days ago, you were moving your entire life just ot have dinner with me!"

The raw force of William's voice made Est's hand tremble. 

"And about your girlfriend?"

The words were out before Est could stop them. They were bitter and laced with a poison he'd been swallowing for two days.

The line went quiet. 

"My—what? P'Est, I'm dating you. I don't have—"

"Don't," Est interrupted, his voice shaking, "I was there, William. I saw you leave the shop. I saw her take your arm. I saw how you looked at her. How she actually fit into your life in a way I never will. She's your age, she's right there when you need her, and I'm just… I'm just the guy who is always an hour too late."

"Phi, listen to me, you have it all wrong—"

"I can't listen to it, William. I don't want to hear how she's just a friend or how I misunderstood. I saw enough," Est felt tears prickling his eyes, but he forced his voice to stay firm. "Go be happy, William. Go be happy with someone who can be there for you. Someone who doesn't need to reschedule their life just to be there for you. Goodbye, William."

Before William could utter another syllable, Est slammed the end button. The silence was deafening, but he had to end this. With trembling fingers, he blocked William's number.

It was done. The connection was severed.

He slumped against the steering wheel, the quiet of the parking garage pressing in on him. He had gone back to his world of clouds and rain and no more confusion. He had protected himself from the inevitable end by ending it himself. He told himself it was the mature thing to do. He was letting William go to a better life, but as he sat there in the dark, all he felt was the crushing, hollow ache of a man who had finally succeeded in being alone. 

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

William stared at the silent screen of his phone, the 'Call Ended' mocking him. He hit the redial button immediately–once, twice, three times– but it didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail.

He was blocked.

The realization hit him. He stood on the sidewalk outside his university, the cool air suddenly feeling suffocating. He had just spent forty-eight hours in an agonizing spiral, convinced Est had decided he wasn't worth it. And now, to find out that Est had been there, only to throw it all away over a glimpse of his cousin?

"No," William whispered, his voice cracking, "Don't do this."

He felt a hot surge of frustration boil up, mingling with a desperate, hollow kind of grief. He wanted to scream at the empty street. He had worked so hard to show Est that he was serious, that the age gap and the busy s schedule didn't matter because his heart had already decided.

He began to pace the sidewalk, his thumbs flying across the screen as he tried to send a message through any platform he could think of–Instagram, Line, Facebook. 

Phi, that was my cousin! Please just talk to me. Don't do this. I'm still here.

Nothing went through. 

He realized that Est hadn't just blocked his number. He had retreated back into his loneliness and fear that William had spent weeks trying to dismantle.

William slumped against the wall, sliding down until his knees hit his chest. He looked at his phone, staring at the picture of him and Est smiling on the screen.

"You coward," William choked out, his tears finally breaking through, "You're so afraid to be happy that you'd rather be wrong."

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

A week had passed, and Est had spent every second of it hiding. He'd lived out of a suitcase at his sister's place, burying himself in his work until his eyes burned, but he couldn't voice reality forever. He needed his own bed. He needed to face the quiet.

When he finally pulled into his place, his eyes instinctively darted towards the shadows, half-expecting (and half-hoping) to see a familiar figure waiting by the door. But he wasn't there. William had finally given up. He had finally listened.

Est felt the crushing weight as he unlocked the door. He had gotten exactly what he asked for, so why did it feel like a tomb?

A sharp knock startled him. Est froze, his heart leaping into his throat.

William?

He wrenched the door open, but the face looking back at him wasn't the one from the record shop. It was a man from months ago. Another nameless encounter, another night spent trying to forget himself in someone else's arms. The man leaned against the frame with a knowing, predatory smirk.

"It's been a while, Est." The man stepped into his space.

Est looked at him, feeling nothing but a profound, aching numbness. He was tired of fighting. He was tired of being the mature one, the lonely one, the one who always lost. If he couldn't have the sun, maybe he deserved to disappear into the dark. He started to step back, his hand dropping from the door in a silent invitation to let the man in—to let the cycle repeat.

"Get away from him!"

The voice came from the sidewalk, vibrating with cold, controlled fury.

Est's head snapped up. William was there. He looked like he hadn't slept. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess, and his eyes were dark with exhaustion, but he was moving toward the porch with a forced intensity.

He didn't look at Est. He kept his eyes locked on the stranger, "I don't know who you are, but you're leaving. Now."

The stranger didn't stick around to argue. One look at the raw fury in William's eyes was enough to make him mutter a curse and retreat.

William didn't wait for an invitation. He surged forward, his shoulder brushing past Est as he forced his way into the apartment. He didn't stop until he was in the center of the living room, spinning around to face Est with a chest full of adrenaline and heartbreak.

"Explain it," William demanded. "Explain why you're letting guys like that near you. Explain why you disappeared."

Est stood by the door, his hands trembling. He wrapped his arms around himself as if it would protect him, "It doesn't matter, William. We don't even really know each other. That was the whole point. We were a mistake that lasted a few weeks, and now it's over."

"We don't know each other?" William let out a hard, incredulous laugh. "You want to play that game? Fine."

He stepped closer, ticking points off his fingers, "My name is William Jakrapatr Kaewpanpong. I'm twenty-one years old. My birthday is Valentine's Day. I'm 178 centimeters tall. My blood type is O. I have a half-brother on my mom's side. I'm one-quarter American. I was raised in Hat Yai. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. I can play the guitar and the piano. My favorite colors are blue and black. I love to eat grilled pork kowl. I'm afraid of cockroaches. My favorite song by the Tilly Birds isn't "Status"; it's "Ordinary" because it reminds me of how I felt before I met you. I take my coffee black, but I buy the sweet stuff because I know you like it. I have a cousin—the girl you saw—who is the only person I trust with my secrets. And I spent the last week crying on her floor because the man I'm in love with, who stalked me for months in my place of work, blocked my number over something he could have just talked to me about!"

He was inches from Est now, his warmth radiating off him in waves, "I know your coffee order. I know the way your brow furrows when you're lying to yourself. I know that you're scared of being too old, but I don't care about that, P'Est. I never have. I care about the fact that I can't breathe when you're not in the room."

William's voice dropped to a desperate, broken whisper, "I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since you started coming into the shop and pretending you didn't see me watching you. So don't you dare tell me this is over."

The air in the room felt heavy, charged with the weight of William's honesty. Est looked at him and saw the toll the last week had taken. His sunshine was gone, replaced by someone raw and bruised, holding his heart out like a peace offering.

For the first time, all his insecurities vanished. It all felt like an insult to even think about the depth of what William was offering. He was completely shattered. All the reasons he'd spent days thinking about felt small and cowardly in the face of William's tears.

"I'm sorry," Est whispered, the words barely audible. His vision blurred as the tears he'd been holding back since the night at the shop spilled over. "I'm so sorry, William. I saw you with her and I just… I convinced myself I was right all along. That you'd finally decided I wasn't good enough."

He took a trembling step forward, closing the distance he'd worked so hard to create, "I was so terrified. I've spent so long being the person who manages everything that I forgot how to be the person who loves someone."

Est reached out, his fingers brushing against William's cheek, "I love you, too. God, I love you so much it scares me. That's why I ran. I didn't think I could handle the day you finally realized I wasn't enough."

William let out a choked, relieved sound and pulled Est into him, his arms wrapping around Est's waist with a grip that said he was never letting go again. Est buried his face in William's neck, breathing in the scent of rain and home.

"Unblock me immediately," William murmured against his hair, "And no more thinking for me. Let me tell you how I feel, and I'll remind you every day that I love you."

"I won't," Est promised, tightening his hold. "I'm staying right here."

The air in the room, previously heavy with the weight of their words, suddenly ignited. The desperation that had fueled their argument turned into a hungry need to bridge the distance Est had created. William didn't give him a chance to overthink again; he closed the last inch of space, his mouth crashing against Est’s with a raw intensity that tasted of salt and relief.

Est’s hands, which had been trembling with guilt moments ago, now gripped the front of William’s shirt, pulling him closer until there wasn't a breath of air between them. Every insecurity, every cold day spent in silence, and every ghost of a one-night stand was burned away by the heat radiating off William.

William’s touch was no longer hesitant. He backed Est up against the door he had almost locked him out of, his hands sliding firmly under Est’s coat to find the warmth of his skin. Est let out a low moan into the kiss, his head tilting back as William’s lips moved to the sensitive skin of his jaw and neck.

"You’re mine," William murmured against his skin, his voice deep and possessive, stripped of all its youthful playfulness. "Don't you ever try to give me away again."

Est couldn't answer with words; he could only pull William’s head back up to his, meeting the fire with his own. The apartment, once a cold fortress of professional solitude, was now a blur of discarded jackets and frantic touches. As they stumbled toward the bedroom, the only sound was their breathing and the heavy thud of their hearts beating in sync.

-ˋˏ✄- - - - - - - ♡⁠

Est leaned back against his car, ignoring the stares as people walked by. Their eyes fell on his nice care and designer-brand clothes, and they wondered why he was waiting outside rather inexpensive apartments.

The answer came barreling down with a suitcase and a bag. Est pulled his sunglasses down and eyed the young man, “Liam, it’s a day trip.”

William was all teeth and sunshine and a perfect boyfriend as he stopped in front of Est, “True, but I’m also spending the week at your place.”

Est raised an accusatory brow, “And did I agree to this?”

“Yes,” William nodded, “When you told me you were going to be really busy and we work in the same building now, Khun Producer. I’m your newest star.”

“I’m not your producer,” Est reminded, crossing his arms. He was smiling, though, “But yeah, I guess you’re going to be a star.”

William beamed, leaning in to Est‘s space, “And does this star get a gift for his crowning achievement?”

“Hmm,” Est hummed, looking away as if deeply considering the request. He tapped a finger to his chin for dramatic effect before meeting William's gaze, “What does the star want?”

William’s eyes sparked, and he moved, his hand wrapping around Est’s waist, pulling the other against him fast. Too fast for Est to dodge. He was pulled flush against William in front of all the passersby. He hit William’s shoulder, his face flushed, “William!”

“P’Est.”

Est looked at William, his annoyance dissolving immediately as he looked at his younger boyfriend. William’s eyes were wide, filled with an unwavering devotion that made Est's breath catch. Est didn't question whether he deserved it because William’s eyes never wavered as he looked at Est. Not now and not before. Est realized that now.

“I love you,” William said, leaning in and pressing a sniff kiss to Est‘s left cheek, then his right, "I love you very much."

Est chuckled, “Okay, okay! I love you too, but what do you want, Liam?”

“Just you,” William supplied easily, “This trip. Your evenings, your tomorrows, and even your yesterdays. I want everything and nothing, as long as I have you."

Es blinked, stunned by the raw honesty so effortlessly given. His face burned a deeper shade of crimson as he gave William's shoulder a weak swat, “You’re absolutely ridiculous.”

William just laughed, peppering Est's face with more kisses until the older man was forced to hold him back, laughing in return, “Enough! Let’s go! We have a coast to see.”

After a few more lingering kisses, William finally let go. Est rolled his eyes, helping him toss his bags in the trunk before they climbed inside. Before Est turned the key in the ignition, he leaned over and pressed an unsuspecting kiss to William's cheek.

William paused, eyes widening in surprise as his lover pulled back. He couldn't suppress the smile on his face as he started the car and pulled away. As William's joyous laughter filled the car, Est finally stopped questioning everything.