Chapter Text
I burst into a fit of giggles.
My dad looked at me.
"Sayori, you're happy aren't you? Your life is so wonderful, I wish I had your life."
I struggled to keep my smile, that sentence only reminded me of everything I'd experienced all the stuff I never told anyone, the way my thoughts consumed me every single day. I heard these exact words all the time, everyone always told me how lucky I was. But if that was so true, why did I feel so sad all the time? Who were they to decide if my life was amazing or not? They didn't know anything.
Sometimes I wonder how nobody really notices, why can't they see that I'm not actually happy? I haven't been for a really long time. Then I remember, its my fault nobody sees. I'm the one hiding in the bathroom each time a blade touches my wrist.
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The morning lights flicker.
Ugh, I still have to go to school today.
Why should I even go?
Nobody even cares about me that much.
"Sayori! Get up! You're late to school every single day, stop being so lazy!" Mom yells across the room.
"Okay, coming."
I do plan to get up but it's fine I'll just stay here for like 5 more minutes.
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"SAYORI YOU'RE STILL NOT UP? THIS ROOM IS A MESS! HOW HARD IS IT TO CLEAN IT?"
"I'm sorry! I'll get up, I'll clean right now."
"ITS ALWAYS OH ILL CLEAN IT LATER, YOUR LIFE IS SO SIMPLE HURRY UP!"
I hear more footsteps, it's my Dad.
"Jane! The food you gave me is terrible, HELL CAN'T YOU COOK A DECENT MEAL FOR ONCE?!"
He suddenly spots me.
"Sayori, when you're a wife ACTUALLY learn to cook UNLIKE YOUR MOTHER. If you're like this your husband will leave you!"
He leaves the room. My mom is visibly angry.
"SEE WHAT YOU CAUSED? YOU BITCH! JUST GO KILL YOURSELF SAYORI, YOUR NOT NEEDED HERE!"
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"Hehee hi guys!!"
I said as I walked into the literature club.
"Hey Sayori, how's it going?" Monika asked.
"I'm great! What are we doing today?"
"We are just having a discussion about how to plan for the festival!"
"I'm doing cupcakes!" Natsuki says quickly.
Yuri slowly looked up from her book, "I can do banners, if you want?" She asks Monika.
"Of course! Sayori, do you think you can make flyers? So we can hand them out to people during the festival? Maybe we'll get more members that way!" Monika said.
"Sure Monika! I'll bring them all tomorrow!"
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I got home to an empty house.
Nobody's ever really around much.
I go to my room climbing the ladder up to my bunk bed. I lie down, pulling the cotton blankets onto my chest.
I wonder why my room is so dark, I want to get down and turn on the lights but just the thought of getting out of the covers, having to sit up, then get down the stairs, and walk to the hallway to open the door is so exhausting I'd rather just stay here forever.
Time passes and I suddenly remember I promised Monika I'd make flyers and bring them tomorrow! I struggle to get out of bed but I do so anyways.
Why did I agree to tomorrow?
I'm so useless, why can't I do anything right?
How do I know I'll even make it till tomorrow?
Why do I even own a bunk bed?! It wouldn't be this hard to get out of bed if I didn't have to climb stairs to get down.
As I walk into the hallway, I'm exhausted. I pull out the printer on my desk, add the paper, find a design, click the button. Im trying to wait for them all to print but my eyes keep getting confused. The lights get darker before I know it my head's fallen onto my desk, I've fallen asleep.