Chapter Text
The walk home was long and stressful.
Enemies could be anywhere. He could handle that.
The kidnapper in the van had gotten away. He would handle that.
There was a small hand holding onto his and he had no idea how to handle that.
So he just... didn’t say anything. Anya did enough talking for the both of them.
He might have to watch an episode of this “Bondman” show so he could talk with her more easily.
They climbed the steps to her apartment and Anya complained,
“Papa makes me study all the time. And I know I’m supposed to study, but it’s hard! There’s so much to remember all the time! There’s not that much room in my brain!”
Chadwick hummed as they reached the right floor.
“How many episodes of Bondman did you say there are?”
“73!”
“What kind of gun does he use?”
“The kind that holds eight bullets! If he uses three, he’s got five eights bullets left.” She said very seriously. “Papa taught me that!”
“That’s...nice. How many times does Bondman sneak into a castle?” She’d talked about castles a lot so he assumed there were at least-
“Two, ten, fifteen, 33 times!”
‘Oh wow. The writers must have run out of setting ideas. Or location budget.’
“But wait,” Curtis said, pretending to be confused, “if there are 73 episodes and only 33 of them have castles, then how many episodes had no castles at all?”
Anya dropped to her knees and shouted,
“One second!” She traced her finger on the carpet like she was drawing and mumbled, “Three take away three is zero, seven take away three is...4! But the answer can’t be 4.....Oh! I forgot Mr. 0!” She looked up at him with pride and exclaimed, “There’s 40 episodes with no castles! But I like the ones with castles best.”
Chadwick felt proud of her too. He picked the lock on their front door as quickly and easily as if he’d had a key. He’d need to get them a better lock.
As soon as he opened the door, Anya ran in to pet their dog. The dog that didn’t even bark at a stranger coming through the door. But when he licked her face, Anya giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck and he let her. He supposed a dog could have uses outside of guarding the home.
He closed the door behind him and said,
“I think it sounds like you’re very smart and have lots of room in your brain. You did a math problem just now.”
Anya crouched in a corner and pouted,
“You tricked me.”
Chadwick almost laughed at the display and it shocked him. How long had it been since he laughed?
“I just showed you that you could do it. You mentioned the bullets before so I thought a story problem might make more sense to you. For most people, story problems are harder. They want the simple question with just the numbers. My son was that way. But I used to need a reason. Why do I need the numbers?”
Anya thought for a second before running to her room.
‘I ended up scaring her off with math. Brilliant. You’d think I would have learned something from my time as a father.’
Anya carried a note book and a paper packet out to the coffee table and asked,
“Um, could you, show me again?”
Warmth bloomed in Chadwick’s heart and he sat on the couch so he was next to her.
“Alright. Let’s see. You said you like peanuts?”
“They’re my favorite!”
I’ll have to bring her some next time.
“Alright. 20-5+7-3. You have 20 peanuts. You give five of them to your friend-”
“If it’s Becky, I would give her all the peanuts! Because I love her and she’s my best friend! Except maybe one.”
Curtis nodded in faux understanding.
“Who would you only give 5 peanuts to?”
Anya grimaced.
“Second Son. He’s a dooty-head, but also nice sometimes.” Curtis made a note of all these names and how much his granddaughter like them. It may be important later.
“Then you had 20 peanuts before you gave 5 to Second Son. How many do you have now?”
“Don’t I have to do all of it?”
“Not yet. You can start with smaller pieces so long as you write everything down so you don’t lose anything.”
“I like grandpa math a lot better than normal math. I have 15 peanuts!”
“That’s right. Good job. Now, your friend Becky gives you 7 more peanuts.”
“Uh, 5 and 5 is 10 plus 2, 12!”
“That’s right. Now, you give 3 peanuts to someone else. Who do you want to give the peanuts to?”
Anya beamed up at him.
“I’ll give them to you!”
Curtis blinked in surprise as Anya scribbled illegibly on the scratch paper.
This could never work. He couldn’t be in her life with any regularity. What happened today with Yuri was proof of that. If anyone knew just how much his son meant to him, how much his granddaughter was beginning to mean to him, they would be killed in the most violent, horrific way.
He shouldn’t even allow himself to hope for another chance at a family.
“9! The answer is 9, right?!”
“You’re right. Well done. You’re so smart.”
Some people need a reason. They need a why for the numbers. Curtis used to be like that. You can’t become a soldier without deferring to the reason of others. You just do your work, you get the answer, you let someone else decide what that answer means.
His son used to only need the numbers. Simple, clean questions. He had changed too. You can’t become a psychologist without asking, ‘why.’
Both of them had changed but they were still so different.
Anya took his hand and put it on top of her head.
“You have to say good job like this. That’s how Papa does it.”
Curtis felt like he was looking at the sun. A burning star close enough to warm his cold heart. For a second, he could see his son standing in front of him, head under his hand, beaming about a perfect test he’d brought home.
‘Maybe I taught him one good thing after all.’
After finishing her homework about an hour later, Anya helped him cook a small dinner. It was....interesting. She insisted they turn on a Bondman episode to listen to while they made some cookies for her mama and papa.
At one point Anya blew over the top of a cup of flour, trying to even it out to exactly one cup, and wound up blowing flour all over Chadwick instead.
The peal of laughter forced its way out of him like a dam breaking. It had been so long that he laughed hard enough his stomach hurt and his eyes squeezed out tears. Anya had been worried about him but he calmed himself down eventually. He told her not to worry about the mess, he’d clean it up while the cookies were baking.
Anya ate too much of the cookie dough before he sent her to brush her teeth and put on her pajamas, but spoiling grandchildren was a grandfather's prerogative. He had six years of spoiling to catch up on.
He got the timer set, fed the dog and cleaned the kitchen before she came back. Her turquoise one piece pajamas were adorable. She sleepily passed him a brush and sat on the floor in front of the square green chair.
He brushed it, although he wasn’t sure why you’d need to brush hair before bed when no one would see you. Maybe it was something you only had to do with long hair? He seemed to remember his wife doing the same thing. He noticed small scars on either side of the top of her head, about the size and shape of a fingernail clipping.
His son had three scars on his head in various places from falling down the stairs when he was one, falling out of a tree when he was five, and falling over his own feet into a bicycle when he was six. They had been small scars then and would probably be indistinguishable now.
In a few years, these would be invisible too.
He wished the scars on the inside of your head could heal as quickly.
“Granpapa?”
“You do know that’s not my name, right?” She’d been calling him that all night and he was starting to wonder.
“I know. But I like calling you Granpapa.”
‘It makes you so happy.’ She thought.
“Alright then. What is it you wanted to ask me?”
‘Probably when the cookies will be done. It’s another five minutes. She shouldn’t have any this close to bed and she’s already brushed her teeth. But if she asks I don’t think I can say no to her. But if she got cavities and had to have any teeth pulled-’
“Do you like my papa?”
Chadwick’s brain stalled.
“Pardon?”
“My papa. Do you like him?”
‘Why would she ask me this? Was I wrong? Did he recognize me and tell Anya? Or does it seem like I dislike him? Is that why he always looks so uncomfortable when I’m around?’
Anya heaved a sigh and turned so her chin was resting on his knee.
“You and Papa think too much.”
“Do you like your papa?”
Bright green eyes lit up.
“Oh yeah! I love him! He’s super smart and cool! And he wants to make a world where kids don’t have to cry!”
Chadwick smiled softly.
“That’s a very admirable goal. I’m very impressed with your father.” Anya yawned and then let her mouth fall shut with a snap. “Alright. It’s time for bed.”
“Okay. Will you come back again soon?”
Because that’s what Anya really wanted to ask. Secret Grandpa was someone who left his family behind. He didn’t know it then, but now that he did he was staying away on purpose. That wasn’t all that different from leaving. She wanted to know if that meant he didn’t love his son. She wanted to know if even if he had to leave, even if he didn’t have a choice, would he come back?
“Sure, Anya. That would be nice.”
Anya’s heart sank a little. He lied just like Papa.
Chadwick ushered her to bed and went to pull the first batch of cookies out of the oven. She asked for a story when he came to tuck her in and he had all of ten seconds to panic over not being able to think of a kid friendly bedtime story before she fell asleep.
Bond, as he learned the dog's name was, may be a better guard than he’d thought.
The animal followed him everywhere, frequently moving between him and Anya when his thoughts drifted to the people who tried to take her and what he’d like to do to them.
Bond wasn’t loud, but he was intuitive. He was escorting Chadwick the way the SSS escorted foreign diplomats. Surveillance and warning under the guise of hospitality.
He pat the dog’s head and commended,
“Good boy.”
The door lock turned, although it was already unlocked, and Loid and Yor walked in.
When they saw him, both seemed surprised, although Loid seemed significantly more stressed than Yor.
“Oh, Mr. Curtis, correct?” Yor asked in lue of demanding an answer to the actual question of, why are you in our house?
“Yes, a coworker and friend of your brothers. He’s handling some paperwork right now... I thought he would call you. I’ll have to scold him for that.” Now he was left to explain things. “It’s a bit of a story I’m afraid. May we sit?”
Loid glanced at Bond, who settled on the floor between them and Curtis.
He was laying down so he wasn’t a current threat but if that changed Chad would have to get over the dog to get to them. A very good dog indeed.
“Very well.”
They all sat, with Loid forgoing what must have been his usual seat to put himself on the couch next to Chadwick, so he was between the man and his wife. Yor had been heading toward the couch which is why Curtis surmised that the chair was Loid’s preferred seat. Still, she moved gracefully enough that someone less experienced in observation wouldn’t have noticed.
“I must say, I’m a bit disappointed that Yuri left Anya with someone else.” Yor said.
If Yuri heard that he’d defenestrate himself.
“He had a good reason, I assure you. You’re aware that we work as diplomats in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, yes?”
“Yes. I’m very proud of my brother.”
“He’s a good kid.” Chadwick nodded, trying to get from being positioned as an outsider to an allie. “Our jobs sometimes make us and our families targets for dissenters. I was walking home when I found Yuri and your daughter cornered by four people. Between the two of us, we were able to stop them and keep Anya safe. They confessed that they were trying to take her.”
Loid’s hands, once carefully arranged to look relaxed, were now clenched into white knuckle fists.
“Oh my goodness! Are they okay, are they hurt, are they at the hospital?!” Yor asked, leaping to her feet.
Chawick waved his hands in a placating motion,
“They’re alright, Anya is in her room-”
Yor bolted down the hall and into her daughter’s room. Loid stayed with the potential threat.
Yor exited slowly and quietly, closing the bedroom door softly, which was proof enough for Loid that Anya was there and unharmed. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“She’s okay. Sound asleep. That must have been so frightening.”
It should have been, but Anya didn’t seem to understand that she was in danger. She had shrugged off the whole nightmare because her Uncle was there.
“She told me that she wasn’t afraid because she trusted Yuri to keep her safe.”
Hopefully that would get his subordinate out of trouble for not calling about the last minute change in sitter.
Loid hadn’t relaxed at all.
“What happened then?”
“Yuri had to stay and fill out the police report, he saw more of the incident than I did, but he didn’t want Anya to have to be around that kind of stress. He gave me your address and I agreed to take her home. I thought he would have called you, but I suppose he was focused on making sure the attempted kidnappers get the punishment they deserve.”
“Oh Yuri.” Yor sighed, equal parts fond, understanding, and exasperated.
“Anya did her homework and helped to make dinner. She was insistent on making you both cookies as well. She said her papa’s cookies were best after a long day, but that her cookies might be good enough to make you happy too. She’s a very thoughtful girl.”
‘Just like her father.’
He continued,
“She fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago, I’m sorry that I didn’t know what her bedtime is.”
“That’s quite alright! Thank you so much for looking after Anya!” Yor reassured.
Loid took a deep breath, let it go, and added in a fake cheery voice,
“And you said she did some of her homework? Thank you for helping her. How many problems?”
“She finished it.”
Yor looked stunned and Loid finally had a sincere expression on his face. Baffled disbelief.
“Did you do it for her?!” He seemed to realize that his tone was harsh because he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Excuse me. I was startled. I’m glad to hear that Anya was willing to study. We’ve been working on that.”
‘For months.’
“Not at all. She just needed the questions to be story problems and to write out every step. You have a very bright daughter.”
‘Just like her father.’
Yor clapped her hands.
“I’ve always thought so too! I’ve never been much help with her homework, I’m afraid.”
“Not at all. Anya bragged about both of you for most of the night. She said her mama is kind and strong and that I didn’t need to worry about her getting ‘snatched’ some other day because her mama could keep her safe. Anya has such a kind heart.”
‘Just like her father.’
Loid nodded and stood up.
“We’ll find some way to repay you for your time and for helping to protect our daughter.”
Curtis stood, taking the dismissal for what it was.
He didn’t want to go.
This would likely be the last time he stood in this house, the last time he talked to his son.
The three of them walked to the door and Chadwick wasn’t ready for it to be over. The war in his head had called a temporary ceasefire inside of these four walls.
He shouldn’t have let Anya hold his hand. It would only leave hers as bloody as his.
So he’d say goodbye and go back to fighting this cold war. Maybe he’d send peanuts to Anya through Yuri occasionally, but he’d never have the chance to talk to his son after this.
What could he say?
‘I’m proud of you? He doesn't know me. I’m sorry? He doesn't know me. I love you? He doesn't know me.’
Chadwick rested a hand on Loid’s shoulder, strong and broad and grown.
“You’re a good man. And a good father. You can be proud.”
He left his son stunned and wished the lady of the house good night, pulling the door shut behind him.
Loid sat in Anya’s room for about a half an hour before going to bed, just watching her breath. She didn’t have tear tracks on her cheeks, her little hands held onto Mr. Chimera without conscious thought.
He’d been panicked when he'd seen Captain Curtis in their home. He’d thought that the man knew everything and he was about to be arrested and Yor would be widowed and Anya would be alone all because of the mission and because Curtis knew-
But then he’d told them what had happened.
Once again, his daughter had been in danger and he’d only found out after the fact.
He’d investigate the situation himself and make a report to WISE before the night was done. He’d make sure the threat was brought on by their connection to Yuri and not his work as a spy.
For now, though, Anya was home, safe and sound and sound asleep.
But what grated on him, even though it shouldn’t, was that more than once now Anya had said she trusted Yor to keep her safe. And now she trusted Yuri to keep her safe too.
But not him.
Why not him?
Did she know that he was only a place holder in her life? Using her to secure the peaceful future that kept him going? Or had he done or said something to make her think he wouldn’t come running the minute he knew there was trouble? That he didn’t love her?
Wait.
He was supposed to be able to walk away. He was supposed to prioritize the mission over the individual. He was not supposed to love her.
Maybe he had unconsciously wrapped his arms around her and held her close, the way a sleeping child does to a stuffed animal.
He was supposed to know better.
You’re a good man. And a good father. You can be proud.
Turns out Captain Curtis didn’t know anything.
He woke the next morning to Anya shrieking,
“These are the best cookies I’ve ever had in my life!!!!”