Chapter Text
Qin woke up at 9:00 AM, much later than usual. He hadn’t slept at a godly hour the night before, having spiraled into endless overthinking after texting Duang. He had even considered un-sending the messages entirely, but stopped himself from doing something that, at this point, was just self-destructive.
Thankfully, he only had an afternoon class today. He needed another hour just to mentally drag himself out of bed, his mind completely exhausted from jumping to the worst conclusions all night.
He picked up his phone to check his messages. Honestly, he only cared about Duang’s reply, which he knew would be waiting for him. Duang was likely already in class by now.
Duang: Qinnnn? Sorry I was asleep
Duang: are you okay?? Why were you up?
Duang: you texted first
Duang: you triple texted....am I awake yet
Duang: hehe kidding, I will come stay over after classes today
Duang: but I will have to leave tommorow :(
Duang: I have to go home, it's Funan's birthday
Duang: don't miss breakfast!!!!
True to character, Duang was worse than a triple-texter. There wasn’t even a proper word for it, a serial texter, if you will. Every morning, Qin woke up to a flood of texts because Duang’s schedule always had him up first. Qin read through them all like a morning newspaper.
The text about Duang leaving broke his heart a little. He had grown too used to Duang’s presence on the weekends, and he hated how much he noticed the heavy quiet of his own apartment whenever Duang couldn't make it. But he would never want Duang to miss his own brother's birthday. In fact, if Duang had skipped it for him, Qin might have liked him a little less.
Qin: I'm good, stayed up working.
Qin: My classes end around 5.
Yes, Qin used proper punctuation in his texts, and yes, they sounded vague. But Duang always knew what they meant. He would be waiting for Qin at exactly 5:00 PM, even if his own classes ended hours earlier. There was no need to waste energy typing elaborate paragraphs when Duang always understood him in just a few words.
Locking his phone, Qin finally decided to get out of bed and get some breakfast, which he definitely totally remembered to do before reading Duang’s reminder.
Cause I'm right, right here, yeah yeah
Right here, right here,
right here, right here
Qin should have been embarrassed by the way Duang was sprawled across the bench outside his department like it was his personal bed. He had his bag shoved under his head like a pillow and was scrolling through his phone, wired earphones plugged into his ears. Qin made a mental note to buy him AirPods eventually.
"Duang, get up. You didn't pay rent for this bench."
Duang’s face immediately lit up the moment he saw Qin.
"Qinnnn, I missed you" he said, reaching up with grabby hands. Qin just yanked him up by those hands to force him upright.
"Can we go now? It's really hot."
Duang looked exceptionally happy, and Qin knew his late-night texts were the reason. But Duang didn't bring it up, knowing how vulnerable Qin must have been to text him at that hour.
A few months ago, Qin would have called anyone crazy for reading between the lines this deeply. But look at him now. The thing was, he was usually right, Duang always said more through his actions than his words, and Qin had grown used to reading him.
"Should we eat out? Or should we cook, hmm?"
Duang sang from the driver’s seat.
As much as Qin loved a home-cooked meal, he didn't want Duang tiring himself out before their sleepover. They decided to eat at their comfort spot for some garlic shrimp rice, and then headed back to Qin’s condo.
They took turns showering, freshening up, and slipping into their loungewear. Duang had permanently left a few clothes and essentials at the apartment, which was convenient considering they spent every other weekend together. It was a domestic setup, which was funny given how painfully slow they were moving in their actual "talking stage." But both of them had stopped caring about technicalities a long time ago.
"Qin, what are we watching? Decide fast or you'll fall asleep."
"I'm not sleeping. I'm resting my eyes" Qin replied from the couch, while Duang sat on the floor right beside it.
"Qinnnn" Duang whined.
Qin smiled. God, he loved teasing him, and Duang was just too easy a target. They finally settled on Puff: Wonders of the Reef, an aquatic life documentary.
"When do you have to leave tomorrow?" Qin asked. Honestly, neither of them was actually going to watch whatever was on the screen anyway.
"Why? Don't want me to go?" Duang teased, flashing a grin that would usually earn him a smack from Jamie.
But Qin’s patience had been running dangerously low since the night before.
"No."
Qin watched Duang freeze like a cartoon character. His mouth slowly fell open and his eyes blinked rapidly, as if Qin hadn't just spoken one of the most basic words in the vocabulary.
"Qin, don't just say things like that."
"Why not?"
"I don't even know how to respond. If it were anything else, you know I would've dropped it to stay here with you the second you said that."
Qin hated how Duang could get so serious out of nowhere. It did things to his heart that felt dangerously close to a cardiac arrest.
"Hey, I'm just teasing. I wouldn't want you to miss Funan's birthday"
Qin said, softening his voice to make sure Duang knew he meant it.
"I'll leave by eleven" Duang said, calming down. "Funan is out with his friends tonight, so he probably won't get home until one tomorrow anyway. I'll head back and help decorate the house until then."
Qin nodded. "Can you come straight back here after you leave your house? We can go to the university together on Monday."
Okay, yeah, maybe that was pushing it. Qin knew it was. But he had felt like a ticking time bomb since last night, and he couldn't bear the thought of letting Duang go for even a second.
Duang just stared at him, his neck turned at an angle that looked genuinely painful. He looked like a deer that had voluntarily frozen in front of a moving car, completely blinded by the headlights.
"Yeah. Okay," was all Duang could manage. He scratched the back of his neck and turned back to the TV, suddenly intensely interested in marine biology.
Qin watched him, thoroughly amused.
But I just want to put it on you, if you want to, Baby, tell me what you gon do.
Qin knew he was acting a bit crazy. Duang had left that morning right after they had breakfast together, french toast, using Duang’s recipe.
It had only been an hour, but Qin was still staring at his front door as if his husband had just marched off to war. Now that he had finally let his guard down, he needed Duang around constantly, or his brain would start to spiral again.
But ever the rational one, he decided to use these few days to figure out how he was going to make them official. Most importantly, how to do it in a way that wouldn’t completely short-circuit Duang’s brain, which seemed like an impossible task.
He needed to ask someone for advice, right?
His first thought was Kim, the smartest among their friends. But Kim was too intelligent, he would give purely analytical advice, which Qin didn't want right now. Tong was completely useless in this department; the former catfish victim had done nothing but jump from one talking stage to another his entire life. Pae was just Pae.
That left Jamie, the same Jamie who had confided in Qin about his own love dilemma not too long ago.
Jamie wasn't the type to settle down, he was the guy people wanted at parties to guarantee a good time. But recently, he had hooked up with Marvis Lee, an international student who was half-Thai and half-Korean. Both of them quickly realized it was turning into something much deeper than a casual arrangement, and Jamie had asked Qin what to do because, for some reason, he deeply respected Qin's opinion.
Qin figured Jamie was the best person to ask, especially since he knew Duang so well. He pulled out his phone and dialed. He realized he had been calling people a lot lately.
"Hello? Khun Qin? Are you okay?" Jamie answered, sounding instantly concerned. Qin was never the type to call first.
"Hey, Jamie. I'm fine. Are you free right now?"
"I'm always free for Khun Qin"
Jamie replied, and Qin could practically hear the goofy smile on his face.
"Umm. It's about Duang."
"What did that idiot do now?"
"He didn't do anything. That's the problem."
"Huh?"
"Look, I'll be as direct as possible. I want us to move past the talking stage."
"What? Oh my god, I can't believe I'm finding out about this first! I am going to hold this over Duang's head forever!"
The hyena-like laugh that usually erupted when those three were together started bleeding into Jamie's voice. Qin felt exhausted already.
"Are you going to help me or not?"
"Sorry, sorry. What exactly are you asking me?"
"I'm asking how I should do it."
Jamie laughed again. Qin almost hung up.
"Qin, you could text him a single sentence, hell, you could send him an email, and he would think it’s the greatest confession in human history."
"Please don't call it a confession."
"Why? Isn't that exactly what it is? Khun Qin, you need to be as direct with that boy as you can possibly be. He will never make a move unless you make it crystal clear. He’s way too cautious when it comes to you."
Qin would never get used to how these three could switch from joking to completely profound out of nowhere.
"I know that..." Qin trailed off.
"Qin, he was ready to be with you the day he met you. Why are you overthinking this? Not to be blunt, but he deserves an honest confession. All he’s ever wanted is for you to just be yourself. He would love the rawest, simplest confession there is. You really don't have to do anything big."
Qin let out a breath. "I know. I really do. Thanks, Jamie. Say hi to Marvis for me."
"You're welcome, Khun Qin. And absolutely not."
The line went dead. Qin laughed out loud for the first time all day.
I can make you feel perfect, cuz you're worth it, I just need to see you work it yeah
Qin was on a mission today. He was going to make him and Duang happen, one way or another. He couldn't wait anymore.
Duang arrived back at the condo around 6:00 PM on Sunday after celebrating his brother's birthday. Thankfully, they both had afternoon classes the next day. He showed up carrying bags of homegrown vegetables, leftover cake from Funan’s party, containers of homemade spices, and snacks.
They settled into their usual spots for watching movies: Qin lying across the couch and Duang sitting on the carpet below. Except this time, Duang was facing Qin instead of the TV.
Duang was showing him photos from the party. Even his childhood home looked warm, just like him. Qin listened intently, treating Duang’s voice like his own personal, private podcast. Eventually, the conversation drifted completely off-topic, and Duang was showing him an Instagram page for a distant relative's dog that was apparently famous.
Unfortunately for Qin’s self-control, Duang looked incredibly adorable resting his chin against the edge of the couch. He looked so small. Before Qin could even process what he was doing, his hand was in Duang’s hair.
Whatever Duang was about to say died in his throat. His phone tilted away, forgotten in his hand.
Qin gently caressed his hair, his expression so unabashedly fond that Duang’s eyes involuntarily drifted closed as he leaned into the touch.
"Qin?" Duang finally whispered after a few minutes of silence.
"You just looked cute."
Duang swallowed hard. "Qin, you know what you're doing, right? What's going on?"
"Yes."
Qin didn't stop, his fingers continuing to brush through the soft strands. It was heavy, intense, and way too intimate, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He had wanted to do this since Duang had accidentally bumped their heads together three months ago.
Duang’s mouth opened and closed. He looked up at Qin, his chest rising and falling.
"You're being weird."
"I'm not being weird. I'm just finally letting myself have what I want."
"What does that even mean?" Duang’s voice cracked, and with it, Qin’s remaining patience did too.
"Duang, I know we haven't followed the usual steps. I know I never bring up whatever it is we are doing."
Duang sat up so fast that Qin's hand slid naturally from his hair down to his cheek, cupping it gently.
"I've been thinking hard all week. I had a realization the night I texted you late. I've been keeping you waiting, even though I've known how I felt for a long time."
"Qin..."
"No, let me finish. I don't have any patience left, Duang. I know you're right here, and I know you aren't going anywhere, but my mind still spirals. I keep worrying about how long you can wait. Before that happens, I need to say this."
"I'll be right here for as long as it takes"
Duang choked out, clearly struggling to find his voice.
"I don't want to wait anymore. I want us right now. I want to be together, Duang. Whatever you want to call it, I can't settle for a talking stage anymore. I hate watching you hesitate to tell people what we are to each other. I want us to be definitive. Please." Qin's own voice began to fracture.
"Obviously I'll be with you, Qin. I'll be whatever you want me to be."
"Then be my boyfriend, Duang."
That completely broke him. Duang buried his face into the edge of the couch and sobbed.
Qin sat up so fast his vision went white for a second, but he didn't care. He slid off the couch onto the carpet, pulling himself right beside Duang and wrapping an arm around his back.
"Duang?"
Duang turned instantly and crashed into him. The hug was so desperate, so fiercely tight, that Qin felt a wave of anger at himself for waiting this long. Duang clutched at Qin's shirt like he would fall into an abyss if he let go, burying his face deep into the crook of Qin's neck.
After a long moment, Qin felt Duang nodding against his skin.
"Yes, Qin. Yes, I'll be your boyfriend. Please stay mine, too."
They stayed like that on the living room floor, locked in each other's arms. Once Duang’s breathing slowed, he pulled back slightly. Qin used his own sleeves to gently wipe the tears from Duang's face.
Duang looked at him as if Qin were the only thing left in the universe. He let out a wet, shaky giggle and pulled Qin back into him, pressing a kiss against Qin's shoulder with so much raw emotion that Qin felt it pull at his very core.
"I can do this now, right?" Duang asked, his voice entirely hoarse.
"You can do whatever you want" Qin whispered. Honestly, his own brain was shutting down.
Duang pulled back again to look at him, their faces inches apart. "Yeah? Then can I kiss you?"
Qin felt his mind go entirely numb. Trusting none of his senses, he just gave a small nod.
Duang didn't waste a single second. He pressed a soft, lingering peck just above Qin’s lips, and then finally melted into his mouth. Their hands tangled in each other’s hair. At first, it was just gentle pressure, two pairs of lips tasting each other, staying perfectly still for a long, quiet moment. Then, Duang gripped a fistful of Qin's hair, not with force, but with pure longing, and tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
A sudden wave of possessiveness hit Qin. All those months they had wasted, when he could have had this, this exact feeling of being wanted so completely, so devotedly.
Duang shifted, leaning his back against the couch and pulling Qin right onto his lap, his hands gripping Qin's waist tightly through the thin fabric of their loungewear. He pulled away for a fraction of a second, staring up at him.
"You're perfect, Qin."
And then he dived right back in. Any semblance of a controlled kiss dissolved instantly. They were completely breathless, their mouths slick and moving together hungrily as Duang claimed months of lost time all at once.
When they finally broke apart, only because Qin felt himself slipping into a dangerous, heated territory they definitely weren't ready for yet, they were both completely dazed. To hell with their afternoon classes tomorrow. Who even cared? For once in his life, Qin wanted nothing more than to skip everything and stay right here.
"Qin, stay with me forever. I don't think I can ever let you go."
"Don't even think about it."
Qin leaned down, pressing one more soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips.
Cuz I'm right, right here, yeah Right here, right here, right here