Chapter Text
"Have you ever wanted something so bad even though you knew you couldn't have it?"
Rey stops fiddling with gears on the control panel to glance over at Finn. He's sat in the co-pilot's chair, pouting like he used to whenever his mother would tell him he couldn't have any sweets after dinner back when they were kids.
A few days ago, after whatever weirdness that was that occurred after their failed lunch date, Finn asked Rey if she'd accompany him to his next meeting - she thinks he should call them what they are: dates - with his new potential princess. Initially, Rey had zero interest in going to watch Finn try and woo some other girl, but he begged and pleaded and completely wore her down. So here she was, piloting him into the arms of his future wife.
And as if things were not bad enough, Finn's overall defeated attitude wasn't making the trip any easier to withstand.
"Is this about your mystery crush?" Rey asks. Finn suddenly looks alert now, almost panicked. She guesses he didn't know she knew. "Yeah, my dad told me. Of course, he didn't tell me who this mysterious young lady you wanted to court is, but I figure you'll tell me eventually."
Finn scoffs, leaning back in his seat. "Oh no, you're never gonna know that. I'm taking that with me to my grave."
"You know it's so weird how you wanted to court this girl, yet you seem too ashamed to let me know who she is. Are you afraid I'll judge you or something?"
"No, I'm proud to feel the way I do about this girl it's just - " he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "I don't wanna talk about this with you."
In all her years of knowing him, Finn has never once not wanted to share something with her. The idea that now he suddenly wants to start keeping things from her actually hurts. And that hurt must show on her face, because after a quick glance, Finn leans across the console between them to rest his hand on her knee.
"C'mon Rey, don't be mad. It's not personal it's just - "
"I'm not mad, Finn. I'm fine." Even she isn't convinced by her own words. "I just thought we were the kind of friends that share things with one another. I mean if I met someone I wanted to potentially marry, I would tell you."
"Yeah, but I don't wanna hear about you and other boys." Finn says rather petulantly.
"Other boys?" Rey scoffs, mocking him. "What's that supposed to mean - "
"Rey, can we just drop this? Please?"
One of the great things about Finn's royal ships is the amount of space on them. Now that he's effectively annoyed her, she doesn't have to be stuck in the cockpit with him. There's a whole living area in the back to escape to.
Rey wordlessly puts the ship on autopilot and exits the cabin. The fact that Finn doesn't protest or try to stop her irritates her further.
Their destination is hours away, even in hyperspace, and after about half of those remaining hours, Finn finally emerges from the cockpit. He looks apologetic, which Rey takes as a good sign. He should be apologetic after how he acted.
Finn shuffles over to the small table Rey is sitting at and sits beside her, his hands folding over one another on top of the table. She shuts off the datapad she was messing around on so she can focus solely on the apology that better be coming.
"I planned on never, ever telling you this, especially on the way to meet up with another girl, but - " he swallows hard. She's never seen someone so nervous over an apology. "I asked the council if I could court...you."
Rey blinks. "Me? You wanted to court me?" Finn nods, his gaze firmly locked on his hands in front of him. She can't help but laugh at the idea of Finn - King Finn - Finn who could have any woman in the galaxy - wanting her. "Why?"
He chuckles, low and humorless. When he finally looks up, he looks the most vulnerable she's ever seen him. "Because I like you."
"Well I know that, but - " Rey says with a roll of her eyes. They've been friends for years, of course he likes her. He's told her as much before; courting her would be easier than traveling around to meet this suitor and that suitor. But still, he knows about the vows she's meant to take. Why would he even risk asking in the first place?
"No, Rey, you don't understand. I don't mean I just like you as a friend. I mean - " he sighs, wetting his lips. "The council is asking me to find someone to marry - someone to trust and confide in and build a life with and rule the kingdom alongside, but every time I think about the kind of person I want to do all that stuff with, I think of you. And I mean isn't that every person's dream? Marrying their best friend?"
Rey isn't quite sure what to say to a confession like that. The past couple of months she's spent agonizing over the fact that she very much wants him have only been made easier by knowing that Finn has no interest in her. Or at least she thought he didn't. Apparently he's been spending his time pining over her as she has over him.
Her father always said that only in hindsight can one see things for what they are and now Rey finally understands what he meant by that. Looking back, the signs of Finn's affection were all there, she just couldn't see them for what they were. She was so thoroughly convinced that her crush was one sided, she missed all of the obvious indicators that it wasn't at all.
"Rey, say something. Please." Finn's eyes are pleading, nervous for her response. He's just told her he's romantically interested in her and she's sat here silent for quite some time. She can understand his anxiety.
"Um, I have to go pilot the ship now. We should be landing soon so the autopilot's probably gonna click off." Rey leaps up and quickly scurries into the cockpit of the ship, cursing herself the entire way there.
She will address this at some point - really, she will - she just can't do it right now. Not when they're on their way to meet a girl his kingdom's council would rather he marry. Not when her head is still spinning - everything makes so much sense now; that's why Thom acted so coldly toward her and - wait, does this also mean her father knows about Finn's feelings for her? - about all of this.
For now, Rey can only focus on the task at hand, which is getting him to his potential intended.
+
It would seem that the council hit the bullseye with their choice for Finn's future wife.
The young woman's name is Kimera and Finn actually hit it off quite well with her.
After their initial meeting - which Rey didn't stick around for; besides the fact that she wasn't keen on being a third wheel, there was the little issue of him confessing his feelings for her not an hour beforehand - Finn made it so he and Kimera could spend more and more time together. He would sometimes take overnight trips to her planet and she would sometimes come and visit his. Finn was clearly happy so obviously Rey was happy that he was happy but -
Ever since he told her that he originally wanted to court her, they've been walking on eggshells around one another. They still talk and joke rather easily, like nothing at all has changed between them, only now Rey is way more hyperaware of the little things Finn does that she may have missed before.
Before, she would have never noticed the way his eyes sometimes linger on her lips for far too long or how his hand hovers around the small of her back when they walk through the halls of the castle. She's no longer blissfully oblivious to his ridiculous attempts to do or say whatever he can to make her smile or how he moves his schedule around to allow for them spend time together even though his days were already stretched thin from scheduling time with Kimera as well.
Which is why after much thought, Rey decides she has to leave. Again.
It's been nice being back in the castle and being with Finn, but he's clearly moving toward the next phase of his life - being a king who now has a princess to rule beside him - and Rey feels her presence would only hinder his progress. He should be focusing on other things, things that aren't her. It would be selfish of her to stick around knowing she's a distraction to him.
"Are you sure about leaving, Rey? I mean have you even talked to Finn about this?" When she told her dad she'd be leaving, he made the choice to stay. He was getting too old to galavant around the galaxy and she understood that. It was alright; she would do just fine on her own.
"Why would I need to talk to him?" Rey asks, shoving a messily folded stack of tunics into her suitcase. "He doesn't have a say in what I do."
"True, but you may want to at least speak with him considering how you're only leaving because he told you about his feelings for you." Rey freezes. She never told him she knew. Her father chuckles, shaking his head. "I knew he wouldn't be to keep that particular secret from you for very long."
Rey sighs, resuming her packing. "That's not the only reason I'm leaving. I'm also leaving because I want to get on with my life. You taught me the ways of the Jedi for my own knowledge and I think it's time I go and put that knowledge to good use."
Even without looking at him, she knows her father's eyebrows are knit together in deep concern. It's almost palpable at this point.
"Besides," she stops again, turning to face him. "Finn doesn't need me anymore. He has Kimera."
Just as he opens his mouth to speak, there's a knock at the door. Rey is bombarded by that same sense of Light and good and a warmth that (irritatingly) feels like home and she knows it's Finn. Her dad must know too because he simply stands, opens the door and wordlessly breezes past Finn on his way out.
Finn takes a careful step inside, the door sliding shut behind him. The moment he eyes all of her luggage, a frown forms on his face.
"What's all this?" He asks, motioning toward the stack of pants in her hands.
"I'm, um - I'm leaving." Rey feels like a coward but she isn't able to meet his eyes. She knows they're probably big and sad and if she looks, she may lose the nerve to actually go.
"Leaving? For how long?"
"Ever?"
Finn's hand is at her wrist in the blink of an eye, stopping her from being able to shove more clothing into her suitcase. When she looks at him - kriff she shouldn't have done that - he doesn't look sad at all. Confused, hurt and a little angry, yeah. But not sad.
"You mean you're leaving permanently? Like, for good? As in living somewhere else that isn't here for the rest of your life?" He scoffs. "Why would do that? This is your home, Rey. You don't just up and leave your home."
"Finn," Rey glances down at his hand still clasped around her wrist. "You know why I have to leave."
She hopes he doesn't make her say it out loud. She hopes he knows - and she strongly suspects her does - and that he lets it remain unspoken between them. She hopes he makes this easier on both of them and just lets her go without a fuss. She hopes all of that will happen but highly doubts it actually will.
"I know it's hard, being around each other and not being able to do anything about our feelings but," Finn steps so close the toes of his shoes are touching hers. He slides his hand down her wrist to twine their fingers together. There's something in his eyes, something dangerous and desirous, that leaves a knot in Rey's stomach. "I need you here, Rey. I already went years without you once, I don't wanna do it again."
Rey thinks if this were a perfect world where Finn had no intended and she were free to be with him as she pleased, this would be the perfect moment for them to share their first kiss.
(He just told her he needs her for kriff's sake, any response from her that isn't a kiss is quite frankly insulting to him.)
But they don't live in a perfect world. They live in this world and in this world, they're both meant to travel paths that unfortunately don't align with one other.
Besides, she's made up her mind. She has to leave.
"I'll visit as much as I can. And you know when the marriage happens I'll be right there, right by your side." She says with a smile that feels forced. Her eyes sting all of a sudden; the last thing she needs right now is to cry. "But I can't stay, Finn. I just can't. It isn't fair to either one of us."
Finn nods, his own eyes brimming with tears. He expectedly pulls her in for a hug, holding her tight - tighter than he did when they were kids and she first left; tighter than a few months ago when she returned home - like he may never let go. Rey reciprocates fully, clutching on to him as if her life depended on it and burying her face into the side of his neck.
It seems like they stay this way forever but when he lets go, it suddenly feels like it wasn't nearly long enough. Rey expects some final word from him, something along the lines of a perfectly timed quip to lighten the mood, but Finn remains silent. His eyes flicker to her lips - he's got to stop doing that - like they so often do. Only this time, instead of his normal 'look-away-and-pretend-nothing-happened', Finn leans forward and presses his lips against hers.
Of all the times for him to decide to kiss her, of course he would choose now.
Rey's body goes completely rigid and if it weren't for Finn's hand sliding through her hair to cradle the back of her head, she doesn't know if she would have ever moved. Her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer toward her. For never having kissed before, their lips move in perfect synchrony.
As much as she would like to enjoy this, to revel in the simple fact that Finn is kissing her, Rey can't. She knows this isn't a kiss born of fondness but is a last ditch effort to get her not to leave. Finn kisses her with such suffocating desire - please stay please stay please stay pleasestay - and it takes everything in Rey's power to move away from him.
When she steps back, her lips feel raw, bruised - much like her heart. Finn's eyes search hers for an inkling that he's gotten her to change her mind and when he doesn't see it, he simply nods, turns on his heel and leaves her room without a word.
So much for hoping for a painless goodbye.
+
Finn doesn't see her off when she leaves.
Rey understands.
She doesn't think she had another goodbye in her either.
+
Living alone turned out to be easier than Rey could have hoped.
After finding a quiet, quaint village on a nice little planet to settle on, the rest of her new life fell easily into place. She had a lovely home, a decent job and the people she lived around were as kind as could be. Everything was going better than she had planned so, in theory, she should have been more than satisfied, but she wasn't.
The feeling is reminiscent of the years she spent training. There were a lot of times where she was actually really, really content with her life, but more often than not there was a gnawing at her heart. There was an empty feeling inside of her chest and she knew exactly what the cause of it was.
She just missed Finn so much.
Back when she first felt that way, she would do what her father taught her, reach out via the Force and see if she could find him. Even if the connection was weak - it never was when it came to him - and she could only feel the most basic of his emotions, it would calm her immensely. It temporarily filled that emptiness in her chest and eased the gnawing.
Only Rey was determined not to rely on that this time around. She would no longer allow Finn to be her emotional crutch. She loved him, yes - she's also had to deal with being able to admit that particular truth to herself over the past few weeks - but there was no use driving herself silly over something that would never be. He was moving on so she had to move on as well.
When things got really bad like they are today - she had a dream about him last night; it's been on her mind all day - Rey calls her dad. He doesn't tell her much about the things that have been happening, per her request, but she can always tell just from how he speaks. When things are good, he jokes more. When things aren't so good, he's more reserved and strokes his beard a lot. Today he's done both so she can't really get a good read on the vibe of things.
"You look tired. Everything alright?" Rey asks the hologram of her father. She would have normally waited until she got home to call, but today's been especially bad; she doesn't mind talking to him on her way home.
There's a slight buzz as he shakes his head. "I was temporarily appointed to the royal council the other day and it's a lot more work than I thought."
Rey frowns. "You joined the council? Why? I thought you said you were too old to do anything that didn't involve playing sabaac or watching old holofilms?"
"I am," he chuckles. "But it was kind of an emergency situation so - "
"Emergency?" Rey tries to keep the panic from her voice. She couldn't imagine anything happening to him - or to Finn - and her being so far away.
"It's nothing you should worry about, but," he pauses, clearly mulling over whether or not to tell her. "The old council tried to organize a coup."
Rey almost drops her datapad. A coup? She's never heard of a peaceful coup, which means the (stupid, no good) group of trusted advisors Finn put his faith in wanted to harm and usurp him. And, kriff, what if they had succeeded? Her father and Finn's mother and everyone else she cares about would have been in danger while she's out 'enjoying' her new solitary life.
"Rey, honey, everything is fine, okay? Just...breathe." There's a hint of amusement in his voice, which she doesn't understand at all. "The Queen and I have got everything under control."
Just as Rey is about to respond - that's great news but if the two of them were handling things, where was Finn in all of this? - when she walks up the pathway to her home and sees a light on in the window. She never leaves her lights on.
"Dad, I'm going inside now. I'll call you back in a few, okay?" Rey keeps on a pleasant front as they say their goodbyes, lest he adds worrying about her on top of everything else on his plate.
Once the call is over, Rey slides her datapad into her bag and takes out her lightsaber. She slowly opens the front door, finger hovering over the ignition button just in case.
"You know, as a super cautious Jedi," the sound of a man's voice causes Rey's heart to nearly leap out of her chest and she ignites her 'saber instantly. She's so startled by hearing the voice, it takes her a moment to register that she knows that voice. When she spins around and sees Finn sat on the armchair in her living area, she forgets how to breathe. "You'd think you would lock your door when you leave but I guess - "
"Kriffing - Finn?" Rey almost can't comprehend that he's here. In her home. A mere five feet away from her. She puts her lightsaber away, still confused as to why exactly he's here considering what’s going on back at home. "Finn, you scared me half to death! I could have really hurt you!"
"I can see that," he says, nodding toward the weapon in her bag. "Now I'm starting to think the element of surprise probably wasn't the best idea."
"You think?" She sarcastically quips. Once her heart stops beating so hard from the startle, it starts beating hard because Finn is here. The council just tried to usurp him and his family and he found it a reasonable time to runaway and find her because of course he would. "What are you doing in my house?"
"I felt it would be better than waiting outside? It's pretty chilly out." Seeing that she was in no mood to laugh at his (adorably dumb) joke, Finn shrugs, his hand rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Some really screwed up stuff happened back home and - I don’t know. I needed a break from it all. I had to get away otherwise I was gonna lose my mind and I figured if anyone would be willing to take me in it’d be you."
She should kick him out. She should march him back onto his ship and fly him back home where he should be, where he needs to be, but she just doesn't want to. She's spent so long practically aching to be near him again, the selfish part of her decides she could stand to let him stay. Even if it’s just for the night.
There are a lot of questions Rey would like to ask him, though. Most of them have to do with Kimera, who's suspiciously missing-in-action; a few of them have to do with what happened the last time she saw him. But she knows Finn well enough to know he’s not going to be up for talking about any of it. At least not now.
"Well in that case, do you want some food then?" Rey offers with a tiny smile. "I could try and make us both some dinner."
Finn scoffs, playfully. "But you're a terrible cook." He stands from the armchair, waltzing past her and into the kitchen. "I will make us something. That way it'll at least be edible."
Rey rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at him, all in jest. Finn simply smiles and starts rummaging through her cabinets for various pots and pans and through her pantry for different ingredients.
It’s amazing - and maybe too good to be true - but just these few minutes around him and the uncomfortable hollowness in her chest is quickly disappearing by the second.
Maybe having him around will actually cause more good than harm.
+
Dinner was absolutely lovely.
Along with being handsome, charming and too kind for his own good, Finn also happens to be a ridiculously good chef. Rey didn't even know this good a meal could be made from the things she had in her kitchen but Finn worked his magic and made something wonderful from virtually nothing. He's always been good at doing that.
As per usual with them, they don't talk about any of the many things they probably should. Instead of discussing the almost-coup or the fact that they shared quite the kiss before she left, they talk of just about anything else.
Rey tells him about how she’s settled into life on her own and Finn - well. Finn doesn’t say much about what’s happened since she left and what he does say only pertains to her father or his mother. He’s careful not to bring up the council or Kimera or anything related to the two.
It’s nice and it keeps the conversation light, but it also leaves a little tension in the air. They’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later. Rey would prefer sooner; Finn, later.
"I noticed you cut your hair." Finn points out after he's finally finished the last of his meal. The appreciative once-over he gives her distracts her from any other thought she had in her head. Her skin suddenly feels warms. "I like it."
Rey wants to quip that she didn't cut it for him and that she doesn't care whether or not he likes it but she suspects the definite blush on her cheeks might have taken away from that message a bit.
"Thanks," she says, consciously tucking a bit behind her ear. "I figured it was time for a change."
Finn hums into the rim of his glass of water. He’s still peering at her, eyes lingering here and there. It would seem being away from his home planet, from his wife-to-be, has made him bolder than he might have been otherwise.
"Because moving away wasn't a big enough change?" There's the slightest bit of resentment behind his words. She chooses to ignore it. "Anyways, it looks great. You look great. But you always look great, so."
Rey carefully lifts an eyebrow. Well if he wants to be flirty, two can definitely play that game.
"You look well, too. Handsome as ever." She says, eyelashes batting in the way she’s seen sultry female characters in popular holofilms do to weaken the knees of their love interests. He’s sitting so she can’t be sure if his knees are weakened, but judging by the look on his face - like a dehydrated man staring at a glass of ice water - Rey thinks she may be getting the desired effect. "But maybe it’s just because you’re something I can’t have."
That’s what he called her all that time ago, back on his royal ship when he first told her that he wanted to court her. He called her something he couldn’t have. He’s sure to get the reference.
Finn smirks at her, defiant and smug. "Who said you couldn’t have me?"
He looks so pleased with himself for that one. Rey hates to concede - she doesn’t want him thinking he’s somehow gotten the best of her; she could really continue this flirty banter if she wanted to - but Kimera’s face suddenly pops into her head.
This is wrong, flirting with him like this. It doesn’t matter if its innocent - which she isn’t completely sure it was - it’s still improper. Besides the fact that he’s an engaged man, behaving like this with one another will only make it that much more painful when reality sets in. That reality being that there were a whole set of laws and rules and councilmen that said they couldn’t have each other.
This is the precise reason she left in the first place.
"Um," she starts, standing from the table and gathering both of their plates. "I’m going to put these away and then I’ll help you get settled down for the night."
When she returns from the kitchen, she motions for Finn to follow her. She takes him down a short hallway to the small closet next to her bedroom.
"So the 'fresher is just there, in case you need to go tonight," she says, pointing a little ways down the hall before opening the closet and pulling out a soft beige blanket. "And here's a blanket. Pillows are on the couch, which is where you’ll have to sleep since I don't have any spare rooms. It's pretty comfortable, though, so you should be fine."
"Thank you." Finn smiles appreciatively as he takes the blanket from her.
The tension between them is near suffocating and Rey doesn’t want to bring it up so soon, but she doesn't think she can hold it in any longer. The sooner she finds out, the quicker things between them will go back to normal. Or as normal as things between them can be, all things considered.
"Finn, what exactly happened back home?" Rey's question is met with an exasperated sigh. Finn slumps against the wall behind him. "I know you would rather not talk about it but - my dad told me there was a coup?"
"Attempted coup." He corrects. "Long story short, the council got pretty ticked off at the fact that Kimera and I were no longer set to get married, so they tried to overthrow me."
"Wait, you and Kimera aren’t getting married anymore? What happened?" Rey tries not to sound too excited just in case he's sincerely heartbroken by it.
"She," Finn chuckles. "Does not want to be with me. So she called it all off."
Well. Rey certainly didn't see that coming.
"We, um, tried to be together for a little while. She moved into the castle and everything, and things were fine until - " He wets his lips, a nervous habit of his. "One night we were attempting to share quarters and apparently I talk in my sleep. Let’s just say she wasn't too happy with what I was saying."
"What were you saying?" Rey asks, curiously.
Finn smiles sadly before answering. "I was calling out for you."
Of course he was.
Rey immediately feels a wave of guilt rush over her. She left so she wouldn't be any sort of obstacle between Finn and Kimera yet, even from a different planet in a different system she still managed to ruin things for them.
"I tried to forget you, Rey, I really did. I tried to move on and focus solely on Kimera and the engagement, but kriff," he chuckles. "You're so damn hard to let go of."
After a few tense seconds, Rey lets out a paltry, "Sorry."
It's not nearly enough but she doesn't know what she could say that would be. It feels sort of silly to have to apologize for being the object of his affections. If she could change it, change the way he feels about her and allow him to marry the young woman his kingdom needs him to marry, she would. But she can’t. All she can do is try and lessen his feelings for her.
Finn lifts a shoulder a bit indifferently. "So, yeah, that's what happened. Kimera called the engagement off because she said she didn’t think it would be fair to either one of us, no matter how beneficial for our respective kingdoms it could have been. The council thought I did something on purpose, some act of rebellion since they were forcing Kimera and me together. And because they felt like I blamed them for you leaving. Thus, the failed coup."
Rey reaches over to him, hand resting on his forearm. "I'm sorry, Finn. Really. I know you liked her a lot."
"Yeah," he hums thoughtfully, his fingers twiddling with the blanket in his hands. "Maybe in another life she and I could’ve worked out but I just couldn’t make myself love her. I know that sounds harsh, or whatever, but I did care about her. Just not in the way everyone wanted me to. Not in the way I care about you."
Rey can't do this with him. Not tonight, not right now. Maybe tomorrow when she's had to time to digest this - not only is he here but he's here and no longer promised to anyone - she can deal with what exactly this all means for them - for her. Is he here to ask her to come back with him? Does she even want to go back? Does he? If she does go back, how long before the new council finds another match for him? Is it even worth putting herself through the heartbreak all over again?
Tomorrow. She'll answer all those questions tomorrow.
"Right. Well if you need anything, my room is right there. Just knock." These days she's become something of a pro at skirting around uncomfortable subjects. "Goodnight, Finn."
Before she can turn and head for her bedroom, Finn stops her. He grabs her hand, pulls her almost flush against him and places a gentle kiss on her forehead.
It's so sweet, so tender, it turns the whisper in her head - invite him in! you know you want to. - into something of a loud shouting.
But that's just her emotions talking. It's a knee-jerk reaction to the way he makes her feels, an impulse, almost. And she can't act on impulse, not with Finn. She has to think and act logically. It's the safest way to prevent her heart (perhaps not completely broken but definitely bruised) from taking any more damage.
"Goodnight, Rey."
She watches him walk away down the hall and around the corner into the living room.
Tomorrow, she reminds herself.
+
Rey barely slept that night. Her brain kept her awake thinking of all sorts of scenarios with Finn that would probably never happen.
She thought about how great it could be if they just ran away. If he were to shirk all his responsibilities and she were to forget about the bigger purpose of her training, of one day reestablishing the Jedi Order. They could settle somewhere on the Outer Rim where no one cares about kings or Jedi. It could work and they would probably be really happy for a while but even Rey knows that happiness would be fleeting. Finn’s call to lead, to help his planet thrive and prosper is just as strong as her call to the Force. Running away would never work.
Then there was the thought of returning home. Rey assumes the council, the old one that tried to usurp Finn, is gone and maybe with them went the preference of arranged marriages. And even if it didn’t, if the new council still insists on Finn marrying for convenience rather than love, maybe Rey could convince them of her value. If Finn were to marry her - a Jedi - perhaps that would be a means of protecting his planet. What other kingdom in their right mind would try and start a war with a king who was the son-in-law of a Jedi as well as being married to one?
But that argument was flimsy at best. Her father is aging and without him, what’s a single Jedi against an entire army? Besides, at some point Rey would have to leave to begin her duty of reestablishing the Jedi Order. Some marriage that would be. Her away on Jedah for months at a time, while he rules the kingdom with an absentee princess.
After hours of mulling it over, Rey comes to the realization that no matter the scenario, maybe she and Finn just weren’t meant to be.
Yet there’s still a nagging voice in her head telling her that she has to at least try, that there has to be a way for them to be happy with each other.
Once she hears movement coming from outside of her room and she knows Finn has been awake for more than a few minutes, Rey stomps into the living room - bed hair and pajamas and all.
When she walks in, Finn is standing by the couch having just stepped into the pair of pants he had on the previous night. Because her timing is the most unfortunate and everything, it seems that she’s caught him in the middle of changing. His shirt is hanging over the side of the couch and his (very bare, very wonderful) torso is somewhat damp. He must have just stepped out of the shower. Which would actually explain why she heard the ‘fresher door opening and closing so much.
"Sorry,” he smiles, fastening the button on his pants with deft fingers. “I thought I’d be done by the time you woke up - "
Rey waves a hand to stop him from speaking. If she doesn’t say this now, she might never.
She walks up to him with her heart beating loudly in her ears, grabs his (perfect, beautiful) face in her hands and kisses him. Kisses him hard and hungry because she has to let him know. He has to know that she wants him, has always wanted him.
She kisses him because she needs him to know that she wants him but also because she just wants to kiss him. His lips are soft and warm and he tastes a bit like soap and Rey wants to be able to do this whenever she pleases. She doesn't want a stupid council to stand in the way of her being able to grab Finn and taste soap on his lips whenever she damn well feels like it.
She just needs to figure how she can make that happen.
Finn pulls away first, breathless with all of his exposed skin warm underneath Rey's touch.
"I want this, Finn." She tells him with the utmost sincerity. "I want to have this with you for the rest of my life so badly, believe me, but - "
Rey cuts her words short because of course. She knows how they can be together. She doesn’t know why this particular idea never occurred to her but out of a handful of terrible options, the one that’s just crossed her mind seems the best of a bad bunch.
"But what?" Finn asks, his hands still fixed at her waist.
"You and I are going back home, but first there’s something we have to do."
+
The tapping of Finn’s foot against the grate beneath their feet is only slightly distracting as Rey lands the ship in the royal hangar. She, of course, can’t see out of the passenger window but from the way Finn’s nerves seem to have been ratcheted up, she’ll assume either one or both of their parents are down on the landing strip waiting for them.
"Your dad’s here." Finn says, foot still tapping. "No sign of my mom but I will count that as a blessing in disguise. Probably best to deal with one of them at a time."
Rey flips off the engine once the ship is safely on the ground and turns to the very anxious young man in the co-pilot’s chair beside her.
"Finn," she starts, hand resting on his knee. "Everything is going to be fine."
"How can you be so sure of that?" He asks, a wrinkle forming between his brows as he frowns.
"I’m not." She confesses which only worries him further. "But I have to believe that things will be fine because one of us has to remain calm. And since you’ve already called dibs on freaking out…"
Finn takes a deep breath and grabs her hand from his knee and weaves their fingers together. "Right," he says with a bit of false bravado. Fake it ‘till you make it, she guesses. "Let’s just get this over with. Rip the band-aid off and deal with the fallout like the adults we are."
Rey can’t help but allow herself a soft chuckle. He’s trying so hard to be strong for the both of them and she loves him dearly for it.
When they both step off of the ship, her father grins one of those rare ear-to-ear grins he saves only for special occasions.
"You know, I always knew you'd come back, Finn," he says slowly approaching them. "But I must admit, I didn't think you'd come back with my daughter in tow."
Rey wonders if the reason he’s the only one here to receive Finn is due to everyone being too preoccupied cleaning up the mess he left behind or no one actually wanting to greet their runaway king. Regardless, it’s nice to see such a cordial face.
"Oh, c'mon, dad," Rey scoffs lightly. "We all know that's a lie."
He shrugs. "Okay, I didn't think he'd get you to come back so soon." He corrects before raising an eyebrow in the direction of her and Finn's joined hands. "Is there something you two would like to share with me?"
The two of them exchange looks. Finn gives a slight shake of his head which Rey will assume means he wants her to be the one to break the news.
"Dad," Rip the band-aid off, Finn’s voice echoes in her head. She can do this. Her father loves her and he loves Finn. This’ll be fine. "Finn and I are - uh, we are both - or rather, we decided to - um. Sorry! What I mean to say is - "
"Rey and I are married." Rey’s never been more thankful for Finn in her life. She doesn’t know if she would have ever been able to get the words out.
Expectedly, Rey’s father looks shocked. His mouth hangs open as his hand comes up to stroke his beard. With each passing second that he says nothing, Rey grows more nervous.
"Let me see if I understand this correctly." He finally says after a long period of silence. "The young woman you were meant to marry calls off the engagement resulting in a coup which resulted in various banishments leaving me - an old man that just wants to rest and play sabaac - in charge of a royal council that I am the only member of. Then you up and leave the planet for four days and come back married to my daughter."
Finn nods slowly. "Yeah, sounds like you got it all worked out."
Her father lets out a humorless laugh. "You know what, Finn? If you weren't king - which you may not be for long once your mother hears about this - I would throttle you for being so daft!"
"Listen, dad," Rey steps between him and Finn in an effort to maybe curb his agitation. "This wasn’t Finn’s idea, okay? It was mine. I know that the council would rather him be with someone that can provide something that the kingdom can benefit from and I also know that I’m not technically supposed to be in a relationship, let alone a marriage, because of the Jedi Code but granddad was married and if it weren’t for that you wouldn’t be here so - "
"Are you sure you want to start taking cues from your granddad?" He interrupts and, yeah. Okay maybe that wasn’t the best example but the point still stands. "And just so you know, I’m not upset about the two of you being together. I mean anyone in the castle with at least one good eye could see that you two were bound to be with one another, I’m just upset neither one of you saw fit to inform me or Finn’s mom about this."
"We would have, but," Finn says. "We were just so afraid you guys would try and stop us."
"Well we wouldn’t have. If there are any two people on this planet that know just how much the two of you mean to one another, it’d be me and your mom." Her father eyes the two of them, the tiniest of smiles on his face. "And, look, as far as trying to convince any council that your being married is what’s best for the kingdom – don’t worry about it. The council is a flawed system, to be honest. I've never liked the idea of having a bunch of men driven by political ambitions of their own telling a king what he can and cannot do, so I took my grievances up with your mother a few days ago and she agreed with me wholeheartedly. And since I'm technically the head of this new council, I reserve the right to disband it.
"And as for the Jedi Code," he waves a hand dismissively. "Those rules are old and antiquated. I trained you well enough and I trust you enough to be able to handle having a partner."
This almost feels too good to be true. With no council and no pesky code to stand in their way, Rey and Finn were actually free to be together. More than that, they were now free to enjoy their marriage without the fear of having anything break them apart.
"So now that we've gotten that out of the way," her father shimmies himself in between them, throwing an arm around Finn's shoulder and slowly leading him into the castle. "I think it's time for us to have a little talk. Father-to-son-in-law."
Finn looks back at Rey, a light panic etched on his face. Rey simply shrugs; it's not like she can do anything about this and besides, they're both the two most important people in her life - her father and her husband. A talk like this was long overdue.
+
Even through years of rigorous training, Rey has never been as tired as she is tonight.
After a very thorough talking-to from Finn’s mother, she gave the two of them her complete blessing and insisted on throwing them a proper wedding. And they didn’t know it at the time, but proper was just code for insanely extravagant.
It was less of a private affair and more of a public celebration. Finn presented Rey to the people in the kingdom as his wife, which was thankfully positively received. She has been a fixture in the community for some time and the people know her. They were more than happy to hear she would be their new princess.
After the presentation came the ceremony. It was a little more private but still very public. Dignitaries from allied kingdoms came to watch King Finn be married (or rather re-married; but they didn’t need to know that bit) to his betrothed. They all labeled the marriage as ‘a sign of a change in the way things are done’ and commended him for being brave enough to shun a traditional arranged marriage in favor of being with someone he truly loves. It was nice to have so much positive support.
Once the ceremony was over, the reception began. It was a fun time, eating and dancing and celebrating her and Finn’s love for one another but it was also extremely tiring. When it was all over, Rey wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed.
"So, how's it feel to be a queen?" Finn asks before biting into a strawberry he's gotten from the fruit basket nestled between them.
The two of them are in their bed in their newly renovated room - his mother insisted on making his quarters fit for both him and his new princess - picking through one of the (strangely) many fruit baskets they received as a wedding gift. They're both still in their wedding outfits - Finn's managed to shed more clothing than she has, only still wearing his nice slacks and the thin shirt he wore under his fancy tunic; she's still in the lovely dress his mother had made for her - and probably look a mess but it's the most comfortable they've been all day.
"I'm not a queen. Your mother is queen. I'm just a princess." Rey reminds him, reaching over to wipe an errant strawberry seed from the corner of his mouth with her thumb.
"Yeah, true," he grabs her hand, pressing his lips to her fingertips. She loves him so much. "But you're my queen."
It feels daunting to know that after two weeks, when their honeymoon is over and they actually have to start ruling the kingdom together, Rey will actually preside over thousands of people. Finn has assured her she'll be great, and she doesn't doubt him. He's been doing this for years and has been nothing short of amazing at it. She's just happy she'll finally be able to - and he’ll finally let her - help him carry some of the weight he insists on putting all on his shoulders.
"And, y'know love, not that this isn't fun, but eating fruit in bed isn't generally what newlyweds tend to do on their wedding night."
Rey gives him a coy look, removing the basket from between them and placing it on the nightstand near the bed.
"Well then tell me, my king," she practically purrs at him. "What exactly do newlyweds do on their wedding night?"
Finn grins, mischief written all on his face. "Oh my princess, I could tell you, but I would much rather show you."
And show her he does.