Chapter Text
"Hey so... Ok, uh Kirsch and... What's her name again?" Carmilla asked over the music.
"Sarah Jane" said the guy that was holding the camera.
"Right, Sophie" Carmilla stared at the camera for a long time, as if she was thinking her words, choosing them carefully until she spoke again. "I don't know anything about your relationship. I missed everything of it but if you're getting married then... You probably love each other, and I'm happy for you, I guess..."
"Theeeere you are!" Said a very worried Kirsch, taking Carmilla's drink off her hand and making her walk away from the camera. "She loves you Kirsch, She's happy for you and congratulations!" He said to himself, coming back into the screen and then off again with a drunk Carmilla.
"Heey! He was recording my message for the puppy guy!" Said a not so convincingly annoyed Carmilla.
Kirsch took her to the bar and got her a glass of cold water "and I'm gonna go make sure it doesn't make it to the final cut" he said, turning to the bartender afterwards, "excuse me? My broody friend here is off alcohol please. No matter how much she begs or what she offers you in exchange, not a single drop of alcohol. And I know you think she is good looking, I know she looks like a badass hottie but if I find out you gave her booze I am just gonna say I have a friend who is pretty good at making things burn" he said, looking threateningly and off he went to attend some guests.
This was the first time Kirsch used such thing to find Carmilla. First of all because he didn't really know how it worked and secondly, because he was worried. Really worried. He'd been driving around Silas after dropping by Carmilla's and not finding her. He called her, but she didn't pick so he did the next best thing he could think of, which was calling Perry. If he called Danny, she was gonna flip and go all Summer on him until he found her. If he called LaFontaine, they would probably start a search brigade with all the people they know and even make a virtual spread to find Carmilla. So he called Perry.
"I knew this was gonna be of use" she said after Kirsch arrived at her place. "None of you wanted to activate the "search your friends" but I convinced you all and now... there she is" Perry said, going through Kirsch's phone and then handing it to him when Carmilla's location was on the map. "What's in there?" She asked.
Kirsch took a look at the map and tried to seem calm. "Ah, is just that new pizza place. I'll go find her" he said, leaving a suspecting Perry behind. Truth be told, Carmilla was signaled in a venue where the only business where Pubs and Nightclubs.
He wanted to check on her after what had happened in the last days. He was worried Laura's return would jeopardize Carmilla's progress.
When Kirsch arrived, he spotted Carmilla from afar in a hot dog stand arguing with someone. When he got closer, he recognized Mel, from the Silas' paper in front of Carimlla. When she spotted him, he waved hi to her and Carmilla left Mel by herself. "This subject isn't finished, Callis" she said sourly.
"Hey Carmsexy!" Kirsch greeted, but Carmilla's glare stopped him from keep talking.
"Don't Carmsexy me, bro head" she said. She started walking to the opposite way of the venue. "Of everyone, I would've thought you had more faith in me" Carmilla said to him.
He walked beside her until they reached his car, which didn't surprise him because Carmilla never drives. "I was worried. After the days you've had, I thought you... well..."
"You thought I would relapse" Carmilla said. Kirsch could sense her anger and he waited for her to yell at him or something, but she didn't. Instead, one single tear rolled down her face and she wiped it off. "Please take me home" she said finally.
The drive to Carmilla's was silent. They got in and Kirsch ordered some Chinese food. They were in complete silence until the food arrived and they sat to eat.
"I do, you know? Have faith in you" he said with a mouthful. "But I also get it, what is like to being under pressure and tempted. I wanted to be with you just in case you needed me".
Carmilla looked at him and smirked, but said nothing else. Kirsch smiled at her and they just finished their food. Carmilla never got any kind of TV service, so they mostly just sat in silence, moving from the kitchen table to the terrace in Carmilla's building. That was their thing, just to sit in silence and enjoy whatever view was in front or above them.
"What are you gonna do tomorrow?" He asked before leaving.
"I'm gonna have an interview. If I know you all, I think you guys will be there... just in case" Carmilla said.
"What if she asks what you been up to?"
Carmilla seemed to analyze that possibility before giving an answer. "I think we'll see what happens tomorrow" she finally said. She wasn't excited about having any kind of deep talk with Laura. She didn't feel ready for it, but she had to do it now that there was a chance. "See you tomorrow pup" she said to Kirsch, closing the door after him.
Carmilla came into the small studio at Kirsch's home looking after him. She had gone through all the place but there, when he finally found him on the back porch.
He was sitting in one of the, too small for him, garden chairs, with a hand on bottle of scotch almost empty placed on the table. Kirsch's face was pale, his nose a bright red and stains of tears going from his swollen eyes, down his cheeks.
"Hey beefcake, I've been looking for you" Carmilla said, sitting next to him but Kirsch didn't look up. "Perry says you disappeared from the service"
He didn't say anything, but just stared at his dark backyard. The lights were off and there was no streetlight that reached it. He just kept staring at the further bushes.
Carmilla followed his sight and leaned back in her chair when she spotted what Kirsch was seeing.
Fireflies going on and off around the bushes. There were as many as to resemble fairylights, she thought. They just looked at the, for a while until the night started to chill.
"Do you want a drink" a drunken Kirsch finally talked. "I think there still is a bottle in there" he said, trying to get up.
Carmilla stopped him and took the bottle from his hand. "I think you've had enough puppy. And I can't drink" she said.
"Oh shit, that's true. I'm sorry Karnstein" he said, dully. "I came here looking for... I don't remember what! And I found this bottle and it was her favorite and I just thought, one last cup on her honor, y'know? But then, the bottle is almost gone and you're here! Hi!" Kirsch said, dragging his words between drunken giggles. "Oh I'm so stupid, I shouldn't be drunk around you, I'm sorry"
Carmilla looked at the bottle's content and furrowed her nose before putting it down. "It's okay Kirsch. Let me help you in" she said, trying to carry some of his weight but failing two times before Danny joined her and helped her getting him into the guests room. "Sleep it off" Danny said before getting out. Carmilla turned the lights off and was leaving when Kirsch called her name.
"Yeah?" She said, waiting for Kirsch to continue and starting to think he had fallen asleep when he spoke again.
"How did you cope?" He asked. "I know is not the same, she could be either dead or alive but... how?"
"I didn't..." Carmilla said.
Kirsch sighed, and added "Oh..." with a broken voice.
"Look..." she said, approaching the bed with Kirsch's back to her. "I didn't cope. I hurt myself. I was drunk most of the time, getting on with girls I don't even remember and eating every other day... I started to cope after you guys came to my rescue. And even then I don't think I coped... I moved on, but I'm still not over everything, I still drag some weight but back then I had you guys... you have us now, Kirsch"
"Thanks" Kirsch said, and with that Carmilla left the room.
The next day, Kirsch came out of the room to find his friends cleaning his home and making breakfast. Perry and Danny were moving in the kitchen while LaFontaine folded and organized sheets and blankets. They all slept in there. Carmilla was still laying down on his couch when Perry caught him.
"Hi Kirsch! Good morning" she said, making them all stop and look at him. Even Carmilla got up. "We're cooking and cleaning, you can take a shower if you want while we're at it"
Kirsch walked in the middle of the room, he tried to think of the words "thank you", but his brain decided otherwise.
"She's dead... and I missed her service" he said, falling to his knees and sobbing.
Carmilla was the first one by his side, comforting him.
"We're here for you. We're here if you need us" she said. "We'll be here... just in case"