Chapter Text
Luca Haas has a problem. His problem is not the angry Russian who is currently staring him down. His problem is not the devastatingly handsome, possibly bisexual man that he just left on the sofa. His problem isn’t even the fact that the whole world is talking about him, when usually he likes to blend in. His problem is that he has fallen in love and it is way too soon.
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When he walked into the locker room at hockey camp last summer and he saw the look in Marlow’s eyes he knew he was in trouble. Cliff Fucking Marlow had been Luca’s gay awakening when he was 14 years old. He had started watching Boston Bears’ hockey games because of Ilya Rozanov, but once he was paying more attention to the online presence of the team and his favourite player, he was always looking for the tall dark and handsome best friend - Marlow.
Cliff Marlow was a gay boy’s wet dream. He was 6’4”, broad shoulders, dark wavy hair, a jawline that could cut glass and muscles that you just wanted to lick. Or at least that is what Luca thought. And his eyes – piercing dark pools that you just wanted to get lost in. And those eyes had been staring at Luca. He had been sure of it. Luca knew he was attractive, enough people had told him so, but the way Cliff looked at him was different. It made him feel things. Things he could not explain.
That was a year ago. In the time since, Luca has enjoyed the flirting. At first, he wasn’t sure if it was all in his head or not. But time after time, whenever they saw each other, it became clear – Cliff Fucking Marlow was flirting with him. His 14-year-old self would have fainted straight away.
One night he got bold and pressed his body up against the giant of a man on the dance floor and was rewarded with a possessive hand on his hip. The next morning, he could still feel the press of those big fingers on his hip bones and daydreamed about where else he wanted to feel those fingers. When he had followed Marlow out of the club that night and kicked up the flirting, Cliff had seemed to be interested, so Luca had been brave and lived out a fantasy. He grabbed Cliff by the shirt and pulled him into a filthy kiss that made his stomach swoop and heat start pooling deep in his core. He had pulled away and walked back into the club before he dropped to his knees to take the fantasy one step further. It had hurt a bit that Cliff didn’t follow him, but Luca hoped it would hold him over for a while because more and more nights found him dreaming of those dark eyes, that stubbled jaw and those perfect pink lips.
Luca was of an age that saw him living online a lot. He spent his time away from the rink either working on his art or online. He had had been following Marlow for years, but may have been cyber-stalking him more than usual lately. After their kiss, Luca noticed a lot of articles on trashy “news” sites about Boston’s Favourite Bachelor. Cliff was out partying a lot and there were tons of photos on twitter and Instagram of him with women – leaving clubs, dancing, getting into cabs, snuggling in booths, literally everywhere. Luca didn’t like to admit that it gave him a stomach ache seeing Marlow with all these women. Why had he been so flirty? Why did he look at him that way? Why did he kiss him back? It really didn’t make sense. He told himself to forget about Cliff Marlow. Cliff Marlow was straight. Cliff Marlow was not interested in a kid 8 years younger than himself. Cliff Marlow did not like Luca Haas – not like that. He was straight. He had never been seen with a man before. And Luca would know, he had been following him online for the past 10 years.
Luca tried to forget Marlow and how his lips felt pressed against his own. He went on some dates, or hook-ups to be more accurate, but it wasn’t what he was looking for. That was the problem with flirting with the man of your dreams. It gives you hope. That maybe there was a chance to live out the fantasy. That maybe there was a chance to fall in love with the perfect guy and maybe he would fall in love with you too.
Hockey and art had always been his outlets for all of his passion and his energy. He threw himself into both. On the ice, The Centaurs were playing amazingly. The second line that he played on with Shane had as many points as the first, and Luca was a big reason for that. They were definitely heading for the playoffs and it looked like The Bears would too. Off the ice, Luca was sketching more, trying to perfect the human-form. The problem was, that no matter what he started sketching, it always ended up with Cliff’s eyes or his hands or his lips. Some sketches were just his eyes or just his hands, but sometimes he used his imagination and drew the man in his entirety. He had never been lucky enough to see Cliff naked, but he had felt those muscles and could only dream about what was in his pants. He would never let anyone see those sketches, those were just for him. He maybe, looked at those sketches late at night. He maybe was very unsuccessfully trying to forget about Cliff Fucking Marlow.
The next time he saw Cliff was a game in Ottawa. The game had been weird. The usual back-and-forth on the ice wasn’t there. Cliff played well, but it almost seemed like he was on autopilot. Luca still caught him staring, but somehow it seemed different. He was slightly disappointed, but maybe it was for the best. Maybe he should just move on from this crush. He had gotten to kiss the man, that would have to be enough. Given time, it would be enough and Luca would move on.
After the game that night, sitting at Monks working on a sketch, he saw Cliff. He was a vision - hair still damp from his post-game shower. He was looking at Luca intently, one might even say staring. Luca smiled and waved him over. He was a glutton for punishment. He had decided that he needed to get over his crush, but seeing him made all rational thoughts leave his mind.
In the semicircular booth the two large hockey players sat. Teammates came and went. Drinks were flowing and they talked for hours. It was so nice and so fucking confusing. Luca was losing his mind. Cliff kept sliding closer and closer as the night went on. He even had his arm draped around behind him, on the back of the booth, so his finger brushed the edges of Luca’s hair when his hand moved. They were sitting so close he could feel the heat emanating from Marley’s leg. Luca, slightly tipsy, leaned in and decided to put his cards on the table. He slid his hand onto Cliff’s knee and asked what was going on. Cliff admitted that he was flirting so Luca invited him back to his place. Why ask questions when the man of your dreams is so close you can feel his heartbeat.
As soon as they got to his apartment, Cliff crowded Luca up against the closed door and kissed him. Tentatively at first, but Luca took control and pulled him closer. He slotted the larger man in between his legs and deepened the kiss as he tangled his fingers in the dark hair at the back of his neck. Cliff’s hands found the small of his back and pressed them flush against each other making it very clear that this kiss was only the beginning of the night.
They talked and laughed and checked in with each other throughout the entire experience and if Cliff hadn’t have told Luca that he had never been with a man before, he never would’ve believed it. He was such a commanding presence in the bedroom. Luca loved being submissive, but as an almost 6-foot-tall, muscular hockey player it wasn’t easy to find someone who could physically dominate him the way he wanted. Cliff though, could hold him down, position him, fold him in half and manhandle him anyway he wanted and it had Luca‘s mind swimming.
Luca had never felt so thoroughly fucked-out and satisfied in his whole life. Cliff was even more perfect than he thought. After they had finished another round in the shower and Cliff was getting dressed to leave, Luca suggested that they exchange numbers. The smile that lit up Marley’s face made Luca’s stomach clench. Hope again filled his mind, but so did the thought “Don’t be stupid, this was just another hook-up. Remember the pics online.”
After practice that morning, Luca saw a text from Cliff. He was surprised. He thought that it might have been a perfunctory gesture and that he would only hear from him for chances to hook-up when they were in the same city. Luca answered the text.
For the next six weeks they messaged every single day. They talked about everything and nothing. Day to day thoughts. It was nice – like really nice. Luca found himself looking forward to the messages. They were becoming an integral part of his day. They never went a day without saying goodnight to each other. It was like they were… something. But were they something? Cliff was a womanizer. Cliff was a party-boy. Luca was a quiet gay artist who only went out with his team mates when they bugged him to. Was this a mid-career crisis? Cliff had never been with a man before. There were so many reasons that this was a bad idea, but others, namely his captain and his husband, that have made it work. And the league is less toxic than it used to be. It’s far from perfect, but at least it’s better. Luca, was going crazy, he was falling more and more for this unattainable man with every text that he received. He had to know. He had to ask. “What’s the deal, Cliff?”
The following messages and phone call, made Luca’s heart soar. Cliff did like him too! He was worried that Luca wouldn’t want him because he was older and less experienced with men and because he doesn’t have a grasp on “what he is”. Who does? At least they both knew that they were nervous but they wanted to see where this could go. No decisions, no expectations, but also no others until they could spend more than a few hours together to talk it out in person.
That visit started 2 days ago. They got into the rental apartment on Thursday evening and spent the night devouring each other. There was little talking beyond gasps, moans and calling out to various deities in multiple languages. On Friday they spent the day in bed – talking, fucking, laughing, talking some more, fucking some more. It was the best day of Luca’s life. They both had been brave about their feelings and insecurities and discussed them at length. Luca assured Cliff that he didn’t need a big coming-out or to even have Cliff name his sexuality. As long as they could be together, and exclusive, that was all that mattered. When Cliff took his hand and with tears in his eyes, promised to always be honest and open with his feelings, Luca almost blurted out “I love you”.
They were so wrung-out by the time the sun set, that they crashed into deep, dreamless sleep wrapped in each others’ arms. When the sun rose at an ungodly hour, Luca regretted not closing the blinds. He didn’t regret sleeping naked though as he felt a very hard Cliff pressed into the small of his back. He wiggled his butt a little further back and moaned as Cliff rolled him over and kissed him soundly.
Morning sex was one of his favourite kinds of sex. Any sex with Marlow, he was learning, was his favourite kind. After, though, Cliff pulled out his phone and snapped a pic of them. He was hoping he was going to text it to him, but instead asked if he could post it - make them official. Could he? Should he? Why not.
Shortly there after, Luca turned off his phone to silence the notifications and went back to fucking his Boyfriend.
___
Now it is almost lunchtime and he hears a knock at the door. He grabs the nearest clothing and answers it. He comes face to face with his captain, who does not look happy. He barges his way in and sits down in the living room, Marlow scrambling to find something to make himself a bit more decent for company as Holander also enters. Shane suggests that he and Luca go and pick up some lunch and leave the old team mates to have a discussion. Luca quickly adds some pants to his outfit and grabs his wallet and phone which he turns back on seeing over 100 notifications. He will read those later – hoping they are mostly positive. As Shane drives, he gives the synopsis of the CENS CHAT that makes up a good portion of the notifications. He is so happy to learn that his team and even a few Bears are on their side. Shane also assures him that Ilya isn’t actually mad about them being together, but upset that he was blindsided.
As they are waiting for the lunch order, Shane asks what is bothering him, noticing him chewing on his lower lip. Luca trusts Shane so he tells him that he thinks he is falling in love with Marlow. If Shane is surprised, he hides it well. He places a strong hand on his linemates arm and gives a squeeze and advises him to be honest about his feelings and everything will turn out alright. Luca lets out a breath and makes a promise to himself that he will try.
After lunch at the apartment, Shane and Ilya leave for their own, upstairs, with plans in place for drinks with the other coaches this evening. Cliff and Luca curl up on the couch and Cliff recounts the whole story of Ilya and his spiral. Shane was right and he is actually happy for them. Luca’s mind starts racing, as it often does and Cliff notices how still and quiet he has become. He asks what is troubling him. He tucks himself even closer into the bigger man’s side and buries his face into the crook of his neck. He remembers what Shane said and the promise they had made each other about being honest, so he takes a deep breath and blurts out “I know it’s too early and I will probably freak you out but I think I am falling in love with you.” And to his surprise, Cliff pulls him away so that he has to look into those deep brown eyes and says “Well that makes 2 of us. I was just trying to figure out how to tell you that I was falling in love with you too.”
Now Luca’s problem is that the smile on his face is starting to make his cheeks hurt. A year ago, at this very hockey camp he caught Cliff Fucking Marlow staring at him from across the locker room. Now he is Fucking Cliff Marlow and staring up at him in their bed.