Chapter Text
Zoey had failed miserably at getting over her crushes. She had tried, of course, but she lasted about 30 minutes at home before looking them up and trying to find any social media accounts she could stalk.
Lo and behold, she found them. Mira had a personal instagram, but it was private. But the kpop dance club had a TikTok account, and it looked to Zoey like Mira was the one running it. She scrolled all the way to the first video and started watching.
The first couple of videos were pretty much the poster Zoey saw in the front office, but from 4 years ago. Would that make Mira a senior? God, she really had no chance with a senior. The next videos had the same people, Mira and 2 others. Lots of dance challenges, and advertising performances during lunch or pep rallies. She watched as the club got more people, and there were bigger dance videos, behind the scenes content, celebrations of graduating members.
Eventually, she scrolled to the most recent video, made that same day. It was Mira and one of the boys she’d seen in the club room, doing a dance challenge with lots of footwork. Holy shit, she’s really good. The boy was fine too, she supposed.
She looked up Rumi, but to no avail. Any social media she had must have been under a fake name. That was probably smart, actually. Zoey had done the same thing, leaving all of her socials under hyperfixation-themed aliases. Zoey figured she’d just have to get Rumi’s information the normal way, by asking for it. Her stomach flipped at the thought of asking either one of them for such a thing. Sure, it was a normal question, but who knows if they’d think she’s weird, or a perv or a stalker?
Zoey put the phone down. Maybe she had just gotten a little bent out of shape. Sleep would fix it all. She put her phone on her charger, turned off the lamp, and went to bed.
She woke up a little bit late the next morning and rushed out of the house, avoiding her dad as much as possible. Zoey considered taking her bike to school, but decided against it since she didn’t have a lock yet. Instead she just walked fast, in the hopes of making it to Mr Allen’s class on time.
Zoey’s heart was already pounding from the exercise when she arrived, and Rumi tracking her down like a bird of prey as soon as she set foot on campus didn’t help it. Zoey idled in place, allowing Rumi to catch up to her. It didn’t take her long. After all, she was doing the closest thing to running without actually running. She caught Zoey pretty easily, and she looked like she meant business.
“Zoey! Are you okay?” Rumi said, also a little wound up from running.
“Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” Zoey answered. She was very confused. Had she looked off when she arrived? She had been jogging, so maybe that’s why? But why would Rumi track her down like that if she just looked a little tired?
“I looked for you after lunch yesterday, but you totally disappeared,” Rumi explained. “I was worried about you. I thought something happened.” She looked genuinely concerned, and maybe a little bit upset.
She was really cute when she was like this. Obviously not distressed, Zoey’s not a monster. But when she was all concerned just for her, when Rumi actually cared about her and wanted to spend time with her. It was really attractive. The trusty knot in Zoey’s ribcage tightened, and butterflies surrounded it in a mix of attraction and guilt. Zoey did remember ditching Rumi yesterday in a fit of anxiety.
“Oh. No, I was okay. I just didn’t want to bother you too much, and I figured out how to find my last class on my own.” Zoey answered, trying not to let her own guilt read into her tone. Rumi feeling bad for her was not the goal. If she wants to hang out with Zoey, it’ll be of her own accord, not because she feels guilt tripped.
“I wish you hadn’t. I had some words of wisdom for you about Ms. Valley. Plus, I was looking forward to walking you.” Rumi was quieter at that last part, like she was trying not to let Zoey catch on to her caring.
Too late. Warmth spread throughout Zoey’s body. Rumi cared. Rumi worried about her when she disappeared. She wanted to go out of her way to walk Zoey to class. She wanted to waste her time on Zoey. That affected her much more than it should have. The butterflies in her stomach multiplied quickly.
The butterflies soon hit the knot head on. Why did she ditch Rumi? Why did she have to be so selfish? Of course Rumi had wanted to hang out with her, she walked Zoey to every single class without complaining. It should have been obvious. What was wrong with her?
Zoey reasoned that a shake of her head would have been too obvious to Rumi, so she blinked three times in a row. “You could walk me today? Only if you still want to, I totally get it if…”
“Yeah! That sounds good. I’ll find you after lunch.” Rumi seemed to be set at ease. The tension was out of her, and she didn’t look as concerned anymore. Zoey was relieved at that. She wanted nothing more than to make Rumi happy.
The bell rang. Rumi jolted just a little. “Shit, I have to get to class. Bye!” Rumi said, then jogged inside the building. Zoey smiled and waved to her, then walked over to the other building.
Zoey’s classes were easy as cake. She was able to zoom through all her work and spend class time daydreaming (or reading fanfiction under the desk). The teachers were incredibly oblivious, so she got away with it all day. Before she knew it, it was almost lunch time.
Lunch! That means she gets to hang out with Mira! The dormant butterflies in her stomach woke up and tried to escape. This was going to be good. Zoey would sit with her, and she’d be cool. She’d say the right things, laugh at the right times, be funny. She’d mention something about social media. Zoey would pretend she hadn’t been thinking about it, and she’d ask for her socials. A foolproof plan, really. Zoey knew how to do this. After all, she had scripted out a whole bunch of possible conversations. She was prepared enough so that she wouldn’t look like an idiot in front of the coolest, hottest girl ever.
The bell for lunch rang, and Zoey practically jumped out of her seat to get to the lunchroom quicker. She walked there as fast as she could, but slowed down once she got closer so as not to seem like a freak. She entered the lunchroom and idled near the wall, planning to stay there until she saw Mira. Her eyes scanned around for that memorable pink hair. She spotted Mira at her table.
Some of the same people she’d seen from the club meeting she crashed were sitting at her table too. She recognized that dark-haired boy, and the girl who had been reading. And someone else was approaching Mira from the lunch line. Someone with a long purple braid. Wow, she didn’t know Mira and Rumi were friends. Zoey supposed it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. After all, they go to the same school, and they seemed like they might get along pretty well.
Mira didn’t notice Rumi until she was about half a foot away. When she did, she grabbed Rumi’s hand and pulled her down into the seat next to her. Rumi stumbled a bit, and they both laughed. Mira’s arm wrapped around Rumi’s waist. Rumi melted into the touch and leaned against Mira’s side.
Zoey stared for long enough to make the people around her a little creeped out. Rumi and Mira are dating? This changes everything.How did she not know this earlier? She had planned for a couple different scenarios, but this wasn’t one of them. Asking for her socials was probably out of the question now. Zoey felt the anxiety and jealousy rising in her chest, but tried to keep it away. After all, they might not be dating. Girls do that sort of thing sometimes, right? Maybe they’re just good friends. She took 3 deep breaths. It didn’t help, but she put a friendly face on and walked over to Mira’s table. Rumi smiled and waved to her as she approached. Mira didn’t see Zoey until Rumi pointed her out, but as soon as she did, Mira smiled at her.
“Hi! Is this spot still open?” Zoey asked, hoping the overwhelming rush of feelings didn’t show on her face.
Mira was still smiling at her now, a beautiful smile. “Yeah, it’s still open. Come sit.”
Zoey sat down across from where Rumi and Mira were still pressed together. She placed her lunchbox down on the table, although her stomach was too fluttery to eat. Rumi picked at a school lunch that looked inedible, and Mira just looked at them both.
“Oh, this is my girlfriend, Rumi. I think you guys have met?” Mira said. Rumi smiled at the word girlfriend.
Zoey’s stomach dropped out of its usual spot, and the butterflies released into her bloodstream and spread everywhere. Okay. Okay. This was fine. It’s not like her measly big fat crushes were a big deal. Of course these two incredible girls were already dating people. And if they’re both queer, the school dating pool is only so big. It’s just statistics.
In spite of that, she felt shaky and insecure and something like jealousy, though towards who she didn’t know. Now it’s certain she has no chance with either of them. Although, Zoey suspected it would be the same even if they were both single. Her entire body was full of tv static. She had so many feelings and thoughts that she couldn’t feel or think any of them. However, she was nothing if not great at masking.
Zoey smiled and said, “Yeah, she walked me to my classes yesterday.” Rumi smiled her dazzling, slightly lopsided smile back at her.
“I’m glad it’s you,” Rumi said, “Mira told me she invited a new club member to sit with us, but I didn’t know it would be you.”
Zoey was able to read between the lines there, and assume that she was probably going to be accepted into the club. That was at least one good thing amid the sea of confusing feelings. She got distracted for a minute looking at how Mira was watching Rumi talk. She was attentive, and she couldn’t keep away the look of deep affection in her eyes. Zoey wanted Mira to look at her like that. Zoey blinked a couple times. Rumi was still talking. It’s still listening time.
“…and I’m super glad you’re joining the club! That means we’ll see a whole lot of each other.” Rumi said with a laugh. Mira laughed along with her. Zoey had somehow missed the joke.
She smiled along , but still asked, “Are you a member? Doesn’t that interfere with cheer practice?”
“I’m not in the club, but I show up to all of the meetings that aren’t on practice days. I like to support Mira.” Rumi said, and leaned into Mira a little more.
“She might as well be a member. She knows most of the choreographies, and she’s our biggest cheerleader.” Mira interjected.
“Plus, it gives you an excuse to drive me home.” Rumi grinned at Mira, who looked away, sheepish but unrepentant. “C’mon, you know it’s true!”
Zoey was sick with jealousy. She wanted to show up to Mira’s practices. She wanted to drive Rumi home. She wanted to be teased by Rumi, and to look at Rumi with fond adoration. She wanted to be them. She wanted to love them. She wanted to be loved by them.
It didn’t help at all that they were practically glued at the hip. Ever since they saw each other, they’ve been pressed together, smiling at each other and being all lovey. It was really sweet, and it made Zoey crazy.
But this wasn’t the place. Zoey could cry over this when she got home. Now was the time to win them over. Even if she couldn’t date them, they’re still the closest thing to friends she’s had in a while, and she wouldn’t ruin that for the world. Rumi and Mira had turned their attention over to the group conversation, so Zoey did the same. When at the cool kid’s table, do as the cool kids do.
The book girl was talking, although Zoey hadn’t yet caught onto the conversation topic. She tried listening, but her mind wandered towards Rumi and Mira. Snapping herself out of it didn’t work, so she elected to keep a pleasant expression on her face and nod every once in a while.
Zoey picked at her sandwich. The inside was lukewarm and frankly unappealing. Rumi had a full plate of suspicious school food, and the only thing she had eaten was half of the grapes. Mira was looking at Rumi, just observing. She reached into her own lunchbox and silently put a snack or two on Rumi’s tray. Rumi bumped her head against Mira’s arm in thanks. That was really cute, Zoey thought. Like a cat.
Zoey noticed something on Mira’s arm. She had those cool silver spike bracelets, but also some beaded ones that didn’t seem to match with her usual style. She recognized one color pattern as the lesbian flag. That sounded about right. The other was blue, red, and black. Maybe another pride flag, maybe just some cool colors. Either way, Zoey didn’t recognize it. She looked at it for just a bit longer, but she just couldn’t place it.
“Mira, I like your bracelets. What are the colors for?” Zoey asked, trying to sound like a normal person .
In speaking to Mira, she had got the attention of both her and Rumi. Package deal, she supposed, but it didn’t do anything for her nerves. Or for the butterflies in her stomach, which were apparently on crack.
Mira smiled at the compliment. She pulled the bracelets further up her wrist and answered, “This one is the lesbian flag, and this one is the poly flag. Polyamorous, not polysexual.” She clarified with a smile. Rumi chuckled at her remark , even though Zoey didn’t think it was that funny.
Rumi then interjected, “We have matching ones.” Rumi pulled her bracelets out of her long sleeves to show Zoey. She pointed out the colors. “Bi, and poly. We made them together.” She explained with a smile.
“Oh, that’s- That’s awesome!” Zoey said with a smile. Mira and Rumi smiled at each other, then looked at Zoey for just a bit longer than normal.
Zoey…really didn’t know what was happening anymore. This changes things a lot. There’s still a chance, albeit a slim one. Their gaze still lingered on Zoey’s face, and that got her thinking.Were they trying to flirt with her through bracelets? No. No. That’s stupid and egotistical. They’re answering the question, it doesn’t mean anything. Anyway, just because they’re both poly and both expressed interest in her as a person and were looking at her, that doesn’t mean they’re interested in her. Who would be, when you had a girlfriend like that?
Zoey let the delusion creep in for just a few moments. If they’re both poly, maybe she has a chance? She’s definitely not opposed to a poly relationship. Two is better than one, right? And with these girls… She heard the rest of the group laughing, and joined in so it looked like she’s listening.
Zoey spent the rest of lunch pretending to listen to the group conversation and overthinking everything. Before she knew it, the lunch bell was ringing, and everyone was packing up. Zoey put her things back into her bag and tried not to watch Mira kiss Rumi goodbye. She failed.
“See you after class,” Rumi said right after pulling away.
“See ya. Don’t forget to send me that playlist, okay?” Mira said. When Rumi nodded, she waved bye to Zoey and walked off to her next class. Rumi didn’t move though. Zoey finished packing up and walked up to her.
“Are you still walking me to class? Ya know, to make up for yesterday?” Zoey said, a little hesitant. Sure, they had agreed to it, but you never know.
Rumi nodded, lighting up a bit when she saw Zoey. “Yeah, let’s go!” Rumi took a couple steps, just assuming that Zoey was following.
Zoey hesitated. She obviously couldn’t make a move. That wouldn’t be right in her mind. But… it couldn’t hurt to cling to the prospect of a chance with them. Zoey skipped to catch up with Rumi, and followed her to class.