Chapter Text
Felix’s breath trembled as he held Hyunjin in place, the warmth of the other man’s pulse brushing against his lips. He hadn’t meant to bury his face there — he just needed a moment. A second to remember who he was. A second to stop himself from doing something he couldn’t take back.
Hyunjin, however, was clearly not interested in giving him that time.
Felix felt the shift in Hyunjin’s body, the way he arched ever so slightly, the way his fingers flexed against the back of Felix’s neck as if he owned it. His voice, warm and slurred and deceptively gentle, brushed against Felix’s ear.
“Handsome… you’re ignoring me again.”
A shiver ran down Felix’s spine. Damn him. Even drunk, Hyunjin knew exactly which tone made Felix waver.
“I’m not ignoring you,” Felix muttered, refusing to lift his head. “I’m making sure you stay in one place.”
“That’s the same thing.” Hyunjin’s fingers slid into Felix’s hair, tugging lightly. “You didn’t answer.”
“And I won’t,” Felix replied, though the firmness he wanted wasn’t quite there.
Hyunjin hummed, satisfied at getting some reaction. “You always act like you’re above it. Above me.”
Felix pushed himself up slightly, just enough to look Hyunjin in the eyes. They were half-lidded, hazy, but focused entirely on him — too focused. Felix felt the pressure in his chest tighten.
“You’re drunk,” Felix reminded him softly. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying.” Hyunjin’s hand slid down Felix’s arm, slow and deliberate, leaving heat everywhere it passed. “You just don’t like hearing it.”
Felix clenched his jaw. “Hyunjin.”
“Handsome,” Hyunjin countered, smirking the faintest bit. “You can’t control everything.”
“I’m trying to control you right now because you clearly can’t do it yourself.”
Hyunjin tilted his head, studying Felix with an expression Felix had seen a thousand times — curiosity, mischief, challenge. The exact combination that got Felix in trouble every time.
“You like it,” Hyunjin said simply.
Felix froze. “…Like what?”
“This,” Hyunjin whispered, fingers brushing Felix’s cheek. “When I push your buttons.”
Felix could have lied. He knew he should have. But Hyunjin always managed to catch the truth in the slight tremors of his silence.
Hyunjin’s smile widened. “See? You didn’t deny it.”
Felix shut his eyes, exhaling slowly. “You’re— impossible.”
“You’re flustered,” Hyunjin corrected proudly. “And it’s kind of cute, handsome.”
Felix opened his eyes long enough to glare. “I have told you over and over again...Don’t call me that.”
“Then stop reacting like that when I do,” Hyunjin shot back.
Felix didn’t have an answer ready — mostly because Hyunjin was right. And he hated that Hyunjin was right. He hated it even more when Hyunjin knew he was right.
Another moment passed, thick with something unsaid. Felix tried to sit up fully, but Hyunjin tightened his hold, pulling him back down.
“Hyunjin—” he warned.
“Stay,” Hyunjin said, softer this time. “Please.”
It was that single word — please — that changed everything. Hyunjin didn’t say it often. And he definitely didn’t say it like that unless something real was rattling around under the surface.
Felix sighed, bracing one hand beside Hyunjin’s head. “I’m not going anywhere. I just need to breathe.”
“You can breathe here,” Hyunjin murmured.
Felix nearly laughed. “That’s the problem.”
“What problem?”
“You,” Felix said quietly. “You’re a problem.”
Hyunjin only grinned, unbothered. “But I’m your favorite one.”
Felix’s lips parted—because he wanted to refute it instantly, because that was the safe thing to do, the smart thing to do. But instead what came out was a quieter, weaker:
“Hyunjin, stop.”
“You keep telling me that,” Hyunjin whispered, brushing his thumb over Felix’s bottom lip. “But you never move away.”
Felix gripped Hyunjin’s wrist gently, pushing the hand aside. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what this is.”
Hyunjin’s expression shifted—still unfocused, still hazy, but suddenly deeper, more vulnerable.
“That’s the first lie you’ve told tonight.”
Felix’s breath caught.
Hyunjin continued, voice low. “I know exactly what this is. Even when I’m sober. You just…you pretend you don’t.”
Felix’s heart kicked against his ribs. Hard. Too hard.
“Hyunjin—”
“Is it that you don’t want me,” Hyunjin asked quietly, “or that you do… too much?”
Felix inhaled sharply. That was too close. Too honest. Too dangerous.
And Hyunjin knew it.
His fingers brushed down Felix’s jawline again, slower this time, deliberate. “Handsome… why are you always running from me?”
Felix swallowed, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. “Because you make everything complicated.”
“You like complicated.”
“No,” Felix said. “I like safe. And you— you’re not safe, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin’s eyes softened, but the smirk lingered faintly. “You’re only afraid because you want this.”
Felix’s lips parted, a protest ready—yet his voice refused to come out.
Hyunjin leaned in, brushing their foreheads together. “I know when you want something, handsome. You get quiet. You forget to hide.”
Felix forced a slow breath. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then look at me,” Hyunjin challenged. “And say you don’t feel anything.”
Felix hesitated.
Just one second.
One second too long.
Hyunjin saw it. Felt it. And he exhaled a laugh — soft, satisfied, knowing.
“That’s what I thought.”
Felix finally pushed himself upright, just far enough to put an inch of space between them. Not enough to be safe. Just enough to breathe.
“You need to sleep,” Felix said, voice steadier than he felt. “You’re going to regret all of this in the morning.”
Hyunjin scoffed. “I never regret telling the truth.”
“You’re slurring everything you say.”
“Because I’m drunk,” Hyunjin said plainly, “not because I’m lying.”
Felix ran a hand through his hair, exhausted. “I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Then don’t.” Hyunjin grabbed for Felix’s sleeve, tugging weakly. “Just stay here.”
“Hyunjin—”
“It’s just staying,” Hyunjin insisted. “Not a one-night stand. Not what you’re scared of. Just…” He swallowed, blinking slowly. “Just stay.”
Felix looked at him for a long, heavy moment.
Hyunjin, drunkenly flushed, staring at him with too much longing and not enough sense. Still dangerous, still impossible, still everything Felix tried so hard not to want.
Felix exhaled.
“One minute,” he finally said.
Hyunjin’s smile was sleepy but triumphant. “Knew you’d say yes.”
Felix sat at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, refusing to lie down. “I didn’t say I was staying here. I said one minute.”
Hyunjin hummed, rolling slightly closer so his arm brushed Felix’s back. “You always say things you don’t mean.”
Felix stiffened. “Hyunjin.”
“Mm?” Hyunjin said, innocent as ever.
“Stop touching me.”
“Can’t,” Hyunjin mumbled. “You’re warm.”
Felix didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Because Hyunjin’s warmth was seeping into him, unraveling him slowly.
And Hyunjin — drunk, wild, unfiltered Hyunjin — seemed to sense exactly how to push him further.
Hyunjin’s fingers drifted toward Felix’s hand, hesitant, brushing his knuckles.
Felix glanced back, pulse hitching. “What are you doing?”
“Testing something,” Hyunjin whispered.
Felix swallowed. “And what’s that?”
“If you’ll pull away.”
Felix didn’t move.
Hyunjin smiled, small and genuine this time. “Thought so.”
Felix closed his eyes, trying to gather whatever resolve he had left. “Hyunjin, I’m only letting you do this because you’re drunk.”
“That’s fine.” Hyunjin’s fingers curled around Felix’s slowly. “I’ll do it again tomorrow when I’m sober.”
Felix’s heart stopped.
Hyunjin’s voice softened even more. “And the next day. And the next. Until you stop pretending this is one-sided.”
Felix turned to look at him fully — at the flushed cheeks," Your father is going to kill me if he finds out"
"Don't worry about him" Hyunjin whispered before falling asleep.