Chapter Text
Luluci gripped her pennant close to her chest. She couldn’t let them see that her hands were shaking.
Galga had failed. Because of that girl that Luluci had let in. He had been doing so well. He was almost out. But he just had to try and save her.
That was who he was. That was how he always was. Even with no memories.
“I guess we failed, then,” Galga said, releasing his grip on Ininia. She didn’t move.
“Yes,” Luluci said. “You did very well for a first attempt, though.”
Ininia said nothing. As much as she hated to admit it, Luluci couldn’t help but feel resentful. Galga was so close. He was almost at the exit. He was clearly the same man, all he needed was to pass his tests and then he could go back to normal. Or mostly normal.
But because he was the same man, he had failed. He always put other people first. Luluci looked up at him, and he didn’t seem the slightest bit upset.
Who could have seen this kind, selfless man and decided to steal his memories?
Luluci suddenly thought of Easthies’s rampage. At least some of the hundreds of people he had attacked had to have been kind, too, and yet he was only being punished for hurting one. Luluci looked down at her pennant. How many people just like Galga had she loosed her talons on without a second thought?
Ininia suddenly stood up. “Ininia failed the test. What do we do now?”
Luluci rose to her feet. “Right. Yes. Well, we just have to walk through the cave until we get back to the entrance.”
“Will the myrphons be okay?” Galga asked.
“They were close to the exit, so I’m sure they’ll make it out. If not, there are a group of witches dedicated to assisting in their migration,” Luluci said.
Galga brushed off the dust from his robe as he stood up. “Lead the way, then, Ms. Luluci.”
Luluci was tired of hearing that. How could she be expected to lead when she didn’t know anything anymore? She had failed at being a Knight. She had failed at being a proctor. Galga would have to do it all over again, stuck in his horrible situation for even longer.
But now was no time to think of herself or wallow in self-pity. She had no choice but to lead. She turned and began to walk.
Ininia and Galga followed behind her. She couldn't see them, but she knew they were there. She could feel the tension in the air.
“We’ll do better next time,” Galga said. Luluci wasn’t sure who he was talking to.
“Ininia will not be here next time,” Ininia said.
“Why not?”
Luluci looked back. Ininia was fidgeting with the hem of her dress. “Ininia will only drag you down.”
“I’ll just have to think of more spells to catch you, then,” Galga said, leaning down a bit.
“You would be okay if you didn’t care about Ininia,” Ininia said.
“It’s just a test. I can study and do better next time. And then we can make it out together.”
Ininia turned away and trudged ahead of Luluci. “Stop talking like you know Ininia.”
“I’m sorry,” Galga said, softly.
Luluci watched Ininia go, feeling guilty for blaming her before. She really was just a kid. Luluci suddenly thought of Eryenne, how she had cried and apologized to Luluci after that horrible day. You only got in trouble because you were trying to help me, she had said. But Luluci had never been angry at Eryenne. She would lay her life on the line for her a thousand more times if it meant that Eryenne would be okay. Because that’s what it is to care about someone. That’s why Luluci became a Knight.
She suspected that Galga became a Knight for the same reason.
That love, that care… when had she lost sight of it? That little boy she had attacked on Silver Eve was probably around the age she and Eryenne were when they had been assaulted. Luluci had joined the Knights to prevent more children from being hurt, but somewhere along the way, she had become the one hurting children.
I have to do better, she thought.
No, she corrected herself, we have to do better.
“Galga,” she said, surprising herself. “What are your plans once you graduate?”
Galga thought for a second. “I’m not sure. I’ve been mostly taking it one thing at a time.”
“I don’t mean to push you in one direction or another, but I… I’ve been thinking of trying to reform the Knights. The way we operate is not fair or just. If I do go through with this, then… I would love to have someone as compassionate as you by my side.”
Ininia stopped walking.
“Oh,” Galga said. “I mean, I’d have to think about it. And of course it’ll take a while for me to get to that level. But I’ll consider it.”
Luluci kept forgetting he didn’t remember anything about their past. “Even if you choose a different path, I’d like to keep in touch. We were good friends, once.”
“Sure. It would be nice to have someone else to talk to besides my professor. Ininia, are you coming?”
Luluci looked back. Ininia was still frozen to the spot.
“Ininia will stay right here,” she said.
“Why?” Galga asked.
“Ininia doesn’t like Knights. Knights don’t like Ininia.”
“Why?” Luluci asked. “Have you had a bad experience? That’s what I’m trying to fix—”
“You can’t hope to understand. You don’t know anything about how things should be run. And you definitely don’t know anything about Ininia.”
“Then tell us,” Galga said, kneeling down. “We’ll listen.”
Ininia looked up at the two of them, fear and disbelief in her eyes. She shook her head and darted off down the path forward.
“Wait!” Galga said, running after her. Luluci followed.
All they found was the mouth of the cave, the sudden sunlight blinding Luluci for a second. She blinked as her eyes readjusted, then looked around.
Atwert was reading a book by a small pyreball. He looked up. “Hello, Galga. Ms. Luluci. …I take it that it didn’t go well?”
Galga shook his head. “No, I failed. Have you seen Ininia?”
“Sorry to hear that. And no,” Atwert said.
Luluci looked around. It wouldn’t be too hard for a little kid to dart off without being noticed.
Once she got back to the Great Hall, she would have to look into who was teaching that poor little girl.
“I’m sorry that things didn’t work out,” Atwert said as Galga followed him back to their atelier.
“It’s alright,” Galga said. “I learned a lot.”
“Oh? Like what?”
Galga thought about what Luluci had asked of him, and how certain she had been that he could be of help. Galga thought about Ininia, and how even through all the walls she put up, he could tell he was getting through to her. Galga thought of himself, and the gap he had closed in the road with his own idea, his own magic.
“I learned that I have a future.”
Atwert smiled. “Of course you do. You’re a wonderful student.”
Galga thought a little more. “Professor, could you show me some good spells for catching people when they fall off of the road?”
“I see you succeeded,” Restys said, cleaning the dirt out from under their fingernails instead of looking at Ininia. “Good job. Never let anyone say I don’t let you have your fun.”
“Thank you, Master Restys,” Ininia said.
Restys looked up. “Oh, come now, Ininia, there’s no need to look so down. You did well. I doubt that Knight will give you any more trouble.”
Ininia nodded.
“But if he does,” Restys said, “You are more than free to use this.” They handed her a spell.
“What is it?” Ininia asked.
“A memory spell. It will erase all memories of you from someone’s head.”
Ininia looked down. “Thank you, Master Restys.”
Restys nodded. “You may go now, dear Ininia.”
Ininia left.
Alone in her room, Ininia took off her gloves. Her hands were still as wooden as ever, the silverwood roots almost pulsating with cruor. They creaked and groaned as she brought her knees to her chest.
Galga was probably stupid enough to take Ininia in if she ran to him. She could live a normal life with him, a happy life.
And his kindness would kill her without ever realizing it.
Ininia didn’t deserve kindness. That was the price she paid for the miracle of the silverwood. Restys’s coldness kept her going. She would not give in to the weak, childlike part of herself that wanted to be held, treasured, loved.
Ininia looked down at the memory spell. It would be so easy to erase all her problems, let Galga live out his life peacefully without having to ever cross paths with her again.
As she ripped the spell in two, she told herself it was only because using it would make her too much like a Pointed Cap.