Chapter Text
Xio’s breathing slowed. Finally, she could relax…
She collapsed onto her bed, her arm hanging off the side. Her shoulders dropped as she closed her eyes for a second.
“Heh… imagine that. Only thing I’m good at is the very thing I despise… god, the player loves a sense of humor…” She laughed bitterly, sitting up.
She summoned a small bone, twirling it in the air.
“Could really kill for some fresh air… but I need a break…” She laughed to herself. Good one.
She sat up, staring at her mirror. She grinned. “Come on… you can just be… this… for a few hours. Get through it…”
The headache was gone, something Xio wasn’t quite used to. She was used to having something to do.
She stood up, glancing over herself. The more she looked, the more she felt more mesmerized at her vessel than horrified. The fact she was able to survive as a Sans… she could’ve died when the Player forced her into it. But she didn’t. She persevered.
She raised her hand and felt the crack in the right side of her skull. She was extremely durable… if she were human, this injury could’ve killed her.
She leaned towards the mirror, smiling softly. How was she alive? The fact even her soul survived the changed as well was amazing…
Wait, what was she saying? She pushed herself away from the mirror, hyperventilating.
If she started liking the body, then she would start liking the memories. If she started liking the memories, then she would start enjoying the memories. And then she would actually have lost to the vessel.
She laid on her bed again, cheek pressing into the pillow, closing her eyes.
Her breathing—or the manual breathing she did to feel human—stopped in a few minutes.
She fell asleep instantly.
––
“Xio? Xiooo? XIO!” Killer snapped in her ear, or what passed for it.
Xio immediately jumped out of bed, landing on the floor with a loud thump, wrapped up in her thin blanket.
Killer stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hands. Xio glared, already annoyed even if she had only been awake for two minutes.
“What do you want?” Xio spat, her eyesockets narrowed.
“Nothin. Just saying you’ve been asleep most of the morning. Acting strangely differently, I would say…” Killer grinned when he saw her eyelight turn into a pinprick.
“Not different! I’m fine! Just tired!” Xio stammered, standing up even as the blanket made her stumble. She ripped it off of her legs, her face tinged with a purple blush she’d despised since she got here.
Killer laughed. “Sure. You always say that.”
Xio’s face twisted into a scowl. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Killer? Or do you consider tormenting me as entertainment?”
Killer leaned forward, his eyes meeting hers. “Nightmare was wondering where you were. You missed a mission. You’re getting soft. Lazy. Maybe you ARE a Sans despite everything…”
Xio’s face got really warm and her chest started to hurt. She grabbed the hilt of her blade. “I can shove those words back down your throat, you know. It wouldn’t be hard.”
Killer stepped back, raising his hands in pretend surrender. “Yeah, but I thought you HATED hurting people!”
“That’s not the thing I hate right now.” Xio hissed.
Killer grinned again. “Suit yourself. Hey, lunch is being made if ya wanna actually pull your weight!” He laughed as he saw her glare again. “It’s actual food. Calamity’s ecstatic about it. You know how she gets.”
“She eats dust on missions, Killer. The bar is low.” Xio muttered.
“Hey, at least she doesn’t eat the soul!”
“That’s probably the better part of a monster, Killer,” Xio said with a deadpan expression.
“I mean, less clean up, don’t you say?” Killer asked with a forced grin on his face. I guess Killer still has lines he would rather not see crossed…
“So why are YOU the one waking me up? I mean, if I even saw a glimpse of Nightmare I probably would be out the door right now.”
Killer’s grin wavered as his hands started to shake. “We screwed up a bit on the mission…” His target soul hovering over his chest started to twitch. “He’s in a sucky mood… we would rather not let him see you for a bit. You know he isn’t… fond of you.”
Xio scoffed. “Putting it lightly.”
Killer slapped her, and her hand shot to the side. “Don’t say you have it worse.” Killer said with a grin, his soul not twitching anymore. “At least you didn’t see your brother die. Every single one of us have seen something happen to him except you.”
“Can’t say my trauma is lesser. At least I don’t mask it all.” Xio growled, her eyes narrowing.
Another slap. “At least I didn’t push Nightmare to snapping at me.” Killer spat.
“At least I have morals!”
“At least I stay loyal!”
“At least I don’t abuse coworkers!”
“At least I don’t isolate myself!”
“At least I didn’t abandon my AU!” Xio said, which was still a lie, but she was starting to get pissed, and she honestly wasn’t thinking anymore.
“At least I didn’t abandon the Star Sanses!” Killer screamed.
Xio paused, her heart splitting straight down the middle.. “I…”
Killer scoffed. “Can’t even clap back? You’re a fucking coward, Xio.”
Xio held back tears.
“How’s Swap doing, by the way? Would be a shame if someone hurt him…” Killer’s eyes dilated as he pulled out his dagger. “He was always such a good fighter. He’d put up a fight.”
Xio held back the impulse to slam him into the wall with blue magic. “Don’t you dare bring up Swap.”
“Why? Reminded of someone anytime you see him?”
“I would NEVER—“
“God, can you both FUCKING SHUT UP FOR ONCE?!” Someone yelled from the doorway. Both Xio and Killer paused, turning to see Dust in the doorway, his eyes narrowed with his face in a scowl. “You’re both loud. It’s getting on my nerves. Stop being at each other’s throats.”
Killer laughed, immediately pulling away from Xio. “She’s being harsh, I did what I have to.”
“You’re the one who—“
A blue hue filled her soul and she slammed into the wall beside her.
Dust released the magic on her, his eyes wide and eyelights small. “I said stop.”
Killer looked at Xio then back at Dust. “Any reason you came to us?” He asked, releasing his grip on his blade’s hilt.
Dust glanced at the empty space beside him, his eyesockets narrowing. “Nightmare sensed fury here. He asked me to check on you, since Xio has been isolating herself… again.”
“At least it means you don’t have to see me!” Xio stammered.
“A teammate is useless if they kill themselves.” Dust spat.
Xio bristled. “I—“
“Shut up and stop trying to hide the fact you wanna die. It’s not like no one here wants to die. I mean, who wouldn’t when we work for a ball of sludge?” Dust asked.
“Don’t talk about the boss that way—“
“Shut up, Killer, it’s not like you hate him too.” Dust glared at him.
Xio groaned, shoving them both out of the way. “If you two are gonna start arguing, get out of my room! I would rather have privacy, thanks!” She stormed down the hallway towards the kitchen.
She gripped her arms, holding back tears. It’s not like you hate him too. She didn’t want to admit she hated Nightmare. With every fiber of her being, she hated him. Hated how he acted like he was better because he had power. Hated how he abused people when they didn’t follow his command. Hated how he took advantage of her when she was vulnerable and on the brink of suicide.
She wanted him dead. But a team with no leader was worse than a team with a soulless one.