Chapter Text
Upon hearing the door closed behind him, Tom raced back to his lodgings trying to ignore the disappointment settling in his stomach at seeing his fiancée so disheartened and reserved. Upon reaching his room he slung his overcoat on the stand behind the door and sat at his writing desk, pulling out some parchment.
Dear Mrs Catherine Livingston,
Apologies for sending a second letter in such close succession to my previous informing you of my recent engagement and for not giving you the opportunity to respond to the first before sending this one. First, please know that all is well and this will be a much shorter communication than the previous, but I was hoping for some advice.
My intended, Miss Mary Bennet, who I told you about in my first letter is suffering greatly from a malady that is seemingly similar to one that I remember you also struggled through. When we were teenagers in the summer you would suffer nasal congestion, sneezing, and headaches, Miss Bennet's symptoms are identical. I am hoping that there might be a course of treatment you discovered that has helped to lessen these symptoms or cure the issue altogether.
Please respond quickly in the hopes I can help my betrothed and ensure she is in full health come our wedding day.
Your affectionate brother,
Tom
Luckily, his sister had moved just outside London when she married Mr Livingston so he was hopeful that he would receive a response within the next few days.
The next day, Mary came down for breakfast as usual still feeling much the same as the day before. Whereas, previously she was concerned of Mr Hayward's finding out about her illness, her concerns had shifted towards his reaction and how they had not finished their conversation where she tried to offer him an out. Guilt burned through her as she thought she really ought to have told him of these issues prior to their engagement.
She avoided Mrs Gardiner's gaze as she sniffed her way through breakfast. She did not wish to discuss her condition any further and she was hesitant to visit a doctor given her previous experience in Hertfordshire.
"Mary, I have sent a letter to the doctor's office requesting an appointment with the first post. We will hopefully get a response through this afternoon or tomorrow at the latest. Is there anything else I can do to help?" Mrs Gardiner asked kindly.
Mary shook her head, "I don't think so, but thank you."
"You mustn't allow your mother's words to cause unhappiness during this time, Mary. Tom seems very keen to decide on where to have the banns read so you can begin the process. He will be joining us on Friday so hopefully the two of you will have a chance to discuss it then."
Mary could not help her slight grimace, she did not want to discuss with her aunt the conversation that was interrupted the previous night. She felt so embarrassed and although she knew it was only a matter of time before Tom tried to let her down gently, a part of her wanted to hold on to the happiness that being his betrothed brought her for as long as possible.
"Mary, please don't tell me you are still concerned about Tom's reaction, he told Mr Gardiner on his way out how much he had been looking forward to discussing wedding plans with you and how concerned he was that your illness had dampened your excitement for the wedding." Mary looked at her with suspicion but felt a fresh lick of hope fire up in her heart.
"Really? That makes no sense as while you were saying goodnight to the children, I asked him if this recurring illness would change his feelings," she admitted.
"Well, what did he say?"
"He didn't the chance to respond as I had just finished speaking when you and Uncle walked in."
"Oh Mary! As soon as he and Mr Gardiner left the room he was only concerned with you, it was his idea to get you a doctor's appointment. I am no oracle but I can not forsee him changing his mind. He dotes on you, Mary."
"Achoo!" The sneezing had reached the stage where they were so violent it physically hurt Mary's jaw and she touched her face in concern.
"I think I shall lock myself away in my room until this evening, perhaps it will improve by then."
"Please Mary, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask for it."
Tom was struggling. He was knee deep in paperwork and still catching up on the what had been missed whilst in the Lakes and Yorkshire. His thoughts were scattered making work that was usually his bread and butter, much more difficult to focus on. Mary's ailment and subsequent coldness towards him filled his mind leaving little room for the concentration required to catch up on his workload. It didn't help that shortly after lunch, a note was delivered to his office.
Tom,
Please allow me to meet you outside your office at 5pm, and take you to the club I frequent to buy you a drink. Don't worry, nothing is the matter. I want to have a chat about my sister, your future mother-in-law. It will be no pleasure for either of us but there are things I think you should know.
Yours
Edward.
Tom felt a mixture of relief and dread. He knew Mary did not have a good relationship with her mother and had hoped that perhaps now they were engaged she would open up more about her childhood experience, but they were yet to have enough time alone to speak of such delicate subjects both due to his work and the Gardiners being wary of leaving them alone for too long. He was relieved that he would be able to talk to someone about the thoughts that had been racing through his mind all day and would only continue throughout the afternoon.
5pm came and Mr Gardiner was stood waiting outside Tom's office.
"Mr Gardiner!" He called to the older man.
"Tom," Mr Gardiner smiled, "I think it's time you can start calling me Edward, since we will be family soon enough."
A big grin appeared on Tom's face at the thought, "Thank you, Edward."
"Let us walk!" Edward led the way towards the club.
On the way to the club they ran through the niceties of how their respective work days were. Soon enough, they were settled with their drinks and Edward finally satisfied Tom's curiosity as to the reason for this meeting.
"Tom, I don't know how much Mary has mentioned about her mother to you. I feel it is my duty, especially in light of her recent communications to us, to inform you of what you will be faced with."
Tom nodded, "To be honest, I don't know much about her family. I have gathered that she feels as though her mother does not see her in the same light as her sisters. Obviously, I have never met them but I cannot imagine how she could ever compare poorly."
"I think she has come to a conclusion based on fact. It is not an exaggeration to say that my sister has never had the most natural motherly instincts. And I think it is also fair to say that she never really warmed to Mary the way she did her other daughters. She is of the opinion that Mary is not as much of a natural beauty as her sisters and after Mary snubbed Mr Ryder, she seemed to lose whatever was remaining of her mother's respect."
Tom's face scrunched up, "That is...awful. Not to mention utterly false, I am struck by Mary's beauty every time I have the privilege of looking upon her."
Edward looked at him with a proud smile creeping over his face, "I know that you feel like that. It might be worth mentioning to Mary because I think her mother's letter has drastically impacted her confidence."
"Yes, of course, I will. Although," Tom swallowed, "I must admit it has been difficult to...show her the affection I wish to because we have barely been given five minutes alone since I proposed." He felt heat rise to his cheeks but continued quickly to avoid giving the wrong impression, "I am not suggesting anything untoward or improper. I just, I just want to be able to reassure her when she is down and, and it is not always easy to say these things when there are other people around and, I just," he was floundering.
"Tom! It's okay, you don't have to justify yourself to me. I know you are a man of good intentions and I understand what it is like to be a newly engaged couple. Let me speak to Mrs G and see what we can arrange."
"Thank you, I had planned to invite her back to our secret garden this weekend but I worried that she would not be in the right state to come with her illness."
"That would be a lovely idea. Let us see how is feeling, the evenings do tend to be better so perhaps that might be a good time to suggest it! Speaking of her illness, I also wanted to mention that my sister has always struggled to sympathise with Mary over this recurrent irritation. In fact, I don't know how much Mary would want you to know but, I will tell you in confidence anyway... In her latest letter to Mary, she stated that Mary should try to hide her symptoms from you, in the case that you would change your mind." Tom gasped in response. Mr Gardiner continued, "Now, I know that such a thing is preposterous, but I worry that Mary has taken her words to heart. Don't worry, Tom, I will be writing to my sister this evening to ensure she never makes such awful comments again. I could scarcely believe what I was reading!"
"Oh God," Tom's hands came up to his face as he hid behind them, "I think, that must have been what she was trying to ask me..."
"What do you mean?"
"Yesterday evening after dinner, she seemed very nervous and started to say something but I didn't catch the end of it as you and Mrs Gardiner walked in to the sitting room. But now it makes sense, and I didn't even respond! I just left because I thought perhaps she wanted space from me!" He covered his face again in shame, "I have been so stupid."
"Oh sorry Tom, we didn't know or we would have waited. It is very difficult to get the right balance between being a good chaperone and being a good uncle."
Tom responded passionately, "I don't blame you at all, you do an excellent job at both. Mr Gardiner, sorry, Edward, would you allow me to accompany you home tonight? I will only stay a moment but I fear I must correct and banish any thoughts Miss Bennet could possibly have of me changing my mind." Tom was shaking his head at the very thought of it.
"Of course, Tom, stay for dinner with us! You know how much we love to have you. I can't promise Mary's illness will be better but hopefully once you get a chance to assuage her doubts she will at least be in higher spirits."
"Thank you, Edward."
Arriving back at the Gardiner residence, Tom felt a flutter of nerves run through his chest at the thought of Mary worrying that he hadn't answered her the night before. He never wanted to cause his Mary stress.
As he followed Mr Gardiner into the sitting he heard Mrs Gardiner greet him.
"Oh Tom! What a wonderful surprise."
"Mrs Gardiner," he bowed slightly and then turned to Mary who was sat opposite, "Mary," he breathed out, giving her a shy smile.
"We met after work for a drink and I invited him back for dinner. You know he never eats properly on his own. Hopefully that will be something that Mary can help him with once they are husband and wife," Mr Gardiner declared proudly.
Mary felt herself flush and her stomach swooped at the thought of finally becoming Tom's wife.
Mr Gardiner turned to his wife, "Let us inform the cook that we will be one more than usual for dinner."
Mrs Gardiner looked knowingly at her husband and took his hand, exiting the room. She left the door slightly ajar but Tom noticed that a moment later the door closed completely, he couldn't help the smile grow on his face as he thought back to his conversation with Edward.
"Mary," he turned to her fully and stood before her holding out his hands, when she looked up at him in confusion, he followed with, "Will you stand up for me?"
She gently took his hands and allowed him to pull her up. He continued, "There is a something I feel I must clarify. Last night when we were sat in this room, you said something about new information and I did not fully hear the rest at the time with Mr and Mrs Gardiner's interruption, but I must correct any notion that 'new information' would have the slightest impact on my affection for you. It would not. I wake up everyday more certain than the last that I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you my future wife. I can barely contain my joy, and I am working so hard to ensure that we will have the best start to married life that I can provide."
Mary's eyes had glazed with unshed tears throughout his speech and overcome with emotion, she whispered, "Oh, Tom." She moved her hands up to his lapels and stood on her tiptoes to press their lips together. They had kissed before when Tom proposed but this was the first time they had been left alone for long enough since. Tom froze in shock at Mary initiating the kiss but quickly reacted and kissed her back bringing his hands up to cup her face as their lips moved together. He had to fight himself to not allow the kiss to progress too fast and eventually slowed it down completely, "Mary," he breathed as their lips parted. His face was flushed as a grin took over his face.
Mary giggled in response.
"I am so sorry for doubting you, Tom. My mother's words were so loud in my head and I...just," she ran out of steam but Tom just smiled at her and rested his forehead against hers, ghosting his hands down her arms and landing them on her waist.
"It's okay, I understand. Mr Gardiner told me a little bit more about your mother's lack of affection growing up and I only hope that you know although there may have been a lack of affection in your childhood home there will be no such thing in your marital home."
"Thank you, Tom. I love you."
"I love you too," he closed his eyes in pure joy.
They heard the latch of the door click open and moved slightly apart, with Tom removing his hands from her waist as they turned to the door.
It opened slowly as the Gardiners returned, "Only us!" Mrs Gardiner shouted ahead of the door fully opening. Upon seeing the rosy grins on the faces of her two favourite young people, Mrs Gardiner felt a sense of relief which was tempered only by Mary's loud sneeze.
"I'm sorry," she squeaked out.
"There is absolutely nothing to apologise for Mary." They all sat back in what had become their spots. "Mr Gardiner and I were planning a trip to visit Vauxhall Gardens this Saturday. We were wondering if the two of you wished to join us."
Mary looked somewhat nervous but looked to Tom and saw the excitement on his face.
"Sometimes my, issues, become worse out of doors," she explained her hesitation.
"There is every chance we will have been to see the doctor by then. Obviously, if you are not feeling up to it on the day we can reconsider the plan," Mrs Gardiner assuaged her.
Tom spoke hesitantly to Mary, "If you are feeling well enough, I would love to join all of you. Why don't I join you all just after breakfast, and then we can decide together?"
"That sounds perfect, excellent idea Tom," Mr Gardiner approved as Mary nodded.
The footman entered the room and nodded to Mr Gardiner, "Dinner is ready! Let's go through."