Chapter Text
Chapter 10- Jax
I don’t wake up until noon.
When I open my eyes, I don’t even bat an eye at my phone. I’m still in the process of figuring out if last night is real or not, and God help me if it turns out to be a dream.
My feet drag me downstairs, my stomach demanding food. I open the fridge, being greeted with the most notorious sight in front of me:
a shit ton of champagne.
I toy with the thought of chugging one of the smaller ones down, but my dad’s voice catches me completely off guard.
“Morning~”
My mother’s calm, even voice catches me completely off guard. I spin around, squinting against the bright kitchen light. She’s sitting at the kitchen island, a tablet in front of her and a travel bag resting by the door.
“Where’s the actual food?” I grumble, not even trying to hide the morning rasp in my voice as I run a hand over my face. “There's literally nothing in here.”
Mother doesn't look up from her screen, her expression perfectly flat. “We decided to stop feeding you to see if your morning attitude would improve. Clearly, the experiment is a failure.”
I roll my eyes, leaning against the counter.
She finally glances up, a ghost of satisfaction playing on her lips as she nudges a small box of bakery pastries toward me.
“Your father was supposed to restock, but he got pulled into a mission late last night. Eat those before you faint from the sheer tragedy of a half-empty fridge. I’m heading out in an hour, so we’ll be gone.”
I eye the pastries, my grumpiness fading just a fraction as I grab one. “So the house is empty?”
Lia lets out a short, dry sound that anyone else would mistake for a scoff, but I know it's her version of amusement.”Hardly. He’s driving back today and should be home this afternoon, so don’t get any ideas about turning the house into a replication of Jurassic Park.”
“That was one time…” I mumble around a bite of food.
She stands up, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and pauses by the door to look back at me. “Once is never enough for you.”
I didn’t argue, because it’s true. Once is never enough for me. I’ll always need more.
“Lock up behind me.”
The door shuts, but the lock never clicks. I finish up my pastry, grab my things, and lock the door as I head out to practice.
As I hit a red light on the way, I open my phone for the first time today. Sure enough, there is a message from—wait.
A message from Darcy?!
I am prepared to be let down about last night's events, but I didn’t really consider that it might actually be real. My head spins, but I can’t read the text because the stupid light turns green. I push well over the speed limit and get to school in record time. I try to breathe before reading her text.
Darcy: I want you to myself. Is that selfish to ask?
That knocks all the air out of me at once. She wants me for herself.
Shit…
I mean, shit—I’m late.
Mind running with a thousand thoughts and an empty stomach, I write the quickest response I can: it’s not. I’ll text u after practice
Out of everything that could come out of Darcy’s mouth, I do NOT anticipate this. But who am I kidding? That’s so Darcy-like. Honest yet hesitant. My teammates tease the stupid grin I have the whole practice, but I can’t help it. At the first opportunity, I text her again.
Jax: Out of practice, do u wanna meet up somewhere? Or r u home alone?
Darcy: "i'm out right now. mom and dad r both home so we’d have to go somewhere else. laurel said she can drop me off at yours after we finish up."
I pause, thinking of places to go. If Dad is driving back today, I need to know exactly when he’s arriving. I hit his contact and it rings twice before his loud, bright voice echoes through the speaker.
“Jax! What’s up, my insanely hormonal son? Finally calling to thank me for my impeccable genetics?”
I ignore the comment entirely. “Mother just left. She said you’re on your way back.”
“Ah, the family radar is functioning perfectly as always,” he muses, and I can hear the rumble of his car engine in the background. “Yes, I am currently navigating the highway. Why do you ask? Missing your old man already?”
“My friends and I need a place to hang out tonight,” I pull the excuse out of thin air. “Are you coming straight home?”
“Mm, that depends entirely on your intentions, my son. Your mother's favorite vase is in the living room, and let's be honest, your track record with fragile decor isn't- what’s the word? Pristine.”
“We’re literally just watching a movie,” I say, rubbing my temple. “When are you getting back?”
“Tough bargain. I do love a good movie night. Maybe I’ll come straight back and judge your friends' taste in cinematography. I make an excellent chaperone.”
“Please don't.”
Michael lets out a bright laugh through the static. “Relax, kiddo. I have to stop by the facility to log my reports first anyway. I won’t actually be back at the house until midnight, so go crazy. Just don't break anything I can't replace.”
Cheering as I end the call, I text Darcy about the news. She agrees, and that’s that.
Our houses aren’t too far apart. Apparently, Darcy is out shopping, but tells me Laurel will drop her off, which gives me enough time to do my hygienic routine. I spray a shit load of cologne, but not enough to reek of it. While I’m multitasking—brushing my teeth and blow-drying my hair—my phone pings with a text.
Darcy: Pulling up in 5. Is the door unlocked?
I spit the toothpaste out, my throat burning with the mint flavor I just breathed in. I gotta speed this up.
By the time the front door opens, my hair is still damp. I don’t even know what the hell I just put on, but there’s no time for me to do another quick change. This black Nike sportswear top and—
How the hell did I end up in my duck pajama pants?!
Nope.
I don’t care if Darcy comes in here completely uncovered; I am changing into my white sweatpants.
“Jax?”
“Hey! Sorry, didn’t hear you come in.” Lie, but at least I have my sweats on.
“No, it’s fine. Sorry I didn’t knock.”
I snort. “Darc, please. Don’t start getting all formal with me now.”
The nervousness seeping out of her is contagious. I’m trying my best not to get fidgety myself. A minute of silence goes by, and neither of us makes an effort to say anything. I can’t really tell if this is one of those awkward silences or a casual one, but we desperately need a change of scenery. I envelop her hand in mine and guide us downstairs.
“Do you wanna stay in or go out?” I ask.
She hums, her eyes scanning the ceiling for an answer. “Maybe out?”
I poke her side. “You just want an excuse to ride in my precious car.”
“Oh, please. Your precious Fiona is the least important thing to me.”
I gasp, leaning against the doorframe. “Don’t speak like that about Fiona! She’s done nothing wrong.”
Darcy rolls her eyes, and I can breathe again seeing her acting like herself. “Yeah, besides the argument she clearly started.”
I can see the moment of regret on Darcy’s face at the mention of our argument last night. I laugh, trying my best not to let her overthink it. We head out to the garage and get into the car.
“Well,” I say, watching her struggle to buckle her seatbelt, “Fiona says she’s sincerely sorry and wants to make it up to us.”
I pull out, heading to a random destination. I can sense Darcy raising an eyebrow, questioning what I mean by that. Instead of feeding her the answer, I switch topics. “Where shall we head to tonight, madam?”
“You’re so corny—”
“Only for you~” I sing mockingly.
“What is this, a Disney romance movie?”
The sarcastic tone might just blind me. “Perchance. Depends if your favorite movie is still The Little Mermaid.”
“How do you even remember that?”
I shrug. “I am a man of great memory.” There’s a moment of silence before I add,
“You’re both also redheads, so—”
“I knew it!” She playfully slaps my arm.
“What?! You can’t blame me for spotting an obvious pattern.”
“Just drive, Jax.”
“That’s what I’m doing, but you have yet to answer the elephant in the room.”
Darcy knows I mean more than just directions on where we’re going.
“Go to a place that’s not too busy.”
That’s so unhelpful, considering I already know she wants us to go to a more secluded area. I let Fiona, my beautiful Ferrari, guide us to a spot that ends up being the parking lot of a national park.
No one is around, the late sun beaming at its full summer force. I park but keep the engine running. We unbuckle but don’t make an effort to get out of the car. Darcy takes in a sharp breath, fiddling with her fingers in my peripheral vision.
“About my text—”
I turn and give her my full and undivided attention. “Right. I assume you’ve realized I’m not trying to use you as a distraction?”
She winces, a guilty expression lighting up on her face. “Sorry. I know that was cruel of me to think. I know you’d never hurt me like that.”
I can’t stand watching her pick at a hangnail, so I place my hand on top of her abused one. “Darc,”
“Wait, let me finish.”
Okay, zipping my mouth nicely shut.
“Last night, after our... um, our moment... it hit me how much denial I’ve been in for the past few years.” She bites her lip, and I really want to save it from being torn off. Her brown eyes find mine with determination. “But I can’t keep ignoring how much I hate seeing you walking around with other girls at school. While I was away, I couldn’t stop thinking of all the things you did to try and keep me safe.”
Her fingers interlock with mine. I give them a reassuring squeeze.
“You saw me at my most vulnerable state, and still, you stayed. Even after all the shit you had to witness.”
“Darc,” I say, bringing her hand up to give it a gentle kiss. “I don’t think you even know how many times you’ve saved me from my own demons. Guys who don’t get it will run. Fortunately, I’ve never quite fit your typical guy standard.”
Her mouth twitches for a fraction of a second. She wants to smile, but she is holding back.
I don’t want her to hold back anymore.
“I want you to stop holding back,” I murmur, leaning in. “Show me the ugly. Show me the parts you’re insecure about, so I can give you a thousand reasons why you’re wrong.”
My hand traces her jawline, my thumb brushing against her sunkissed skin, tracking the light layer of freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks. “I want you to be mine, so badly. I was just waiting for the green light.”
She leans into my touch, her eyes closing for a brief moment. “Well, now you have it.”
I bring our lips together, sealing our silent contract. She is mine now, and I am completely hers.
She pulls back from the kiss, a sudden shadow of worry crosses her face.
“You’re going to want to keep us a secret though, won't you?”
My head falls back against the car seat as reality forces its way back into the space between us.
My parents will absolutely flip if they discover Darcy and I are dating. As much as a part of me would love to rub it in their faces, I know exactly how dangerous their consequences are.
“It’s not that I want to keep us a secret,” I admit, looking at her. “But I think it’s in our best interest for right now.”
The disappointment that flashes across her face makes me feel like an absolute dickhead.
“Hey,” I say softly, squeezing her hand. “Just for a little bit, while we get the hang of things. Just until we're both completely solid.”
I need us to be bulletproof before we even think about testing the waters with my parents.
Orrrr Uncle Dean, for that matter.
Darcy processes the words, her expression softening as she gives me a genuine, understanding nod. Outside the windshield, the sun is practically gone now, and the first few stars are starting to take its place in the darkening sky.
“Hey, come on,” I say, opening my door.
I guide her out of the car and we walk to the crest of the hill, laying flat on our backs in the cool grass to watch the stars. Darcy pushes her hair off her neck to catch the breeze.
I could never imagine dealing with hair that long; it seems like pure torture to maintain. With her dark curls splayed out around her like a halo, she looks completely ethereal. I can’t help but stare.
“Why are you giving me that look?” she asks, glancing over at me. “Lay down and watch the stars.”
I prop myself up on my elbow, resisting as she tugs on my sleeve in a futile attempt to pull me down. Finally, I give in to her demand, letting out a dramatic sigh as I lay flat.
“Sorry. It’s hard to focus on the stars when you’re laying right there looking like that.”
Darcy snaps her face away from mine, but she isn't fast enough to hide the blush or the sharp flash of affection in her eyes. My chest vibrates with a suppressed laugh.
“Jax!” she groans. “I’m going to break up with you if this is what your pickup lines are going to look like.”
Lie.
“Oh? Is this the new power move you’re planning to use now that we’re official?” I make the tease obvious in my tone, which she doesn’t overthink.
“Yes.”
I snap back, a playful grin making me feel like a child again, when I first started understanding people’s lies.
“Liar~”
She’s facing away from me, giving me the perfect chance to snake my arm around her waist and pull her flush against my side. She lets out a small yelp, but doesn’t put up much of a fight. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck, closing my eyes and taking in her natural mix of sandalwood and rose scent. A scent that is finally, completely mine to inhale.
Mine. All mine.
I wish we could just stay on this hill forever. Two bodies close together, with absolutely no problems to solve besides the here and now. I don’t want to go back to reality. I don’t want to face what’s waiting for me at home.
The secrets are already piling up, and from here on out, every single word that leaves my mouth is going to have to be perfectly measured, perfectly sweet, and perfectly disguised.
Darcy shifts, snuggling her head securely against my chest. Over her shoulder, my gaze locks onto a lone dandelion growing in the grass a few feet away, watching its white fluff drift apart in the humid Virginia air.
Something tightens deep in my chest, a cold, heavy pulse climbing up my throat. My grip tightens around Darcy, pulling her closer, but my eyes never leave the dissolving flower.
Its pieces are falling apart…
“Jax?”
Glue them back together.
“Nothing,” I murmur.
The response is swift and calm, delivered in the forced, modulated way I’ve been taught since I was a kid.
Darcy’s drifting in a light slumber, completely safe against me. But as a different kind of dark settles over the hill, I can feel myself disconnecting from my own body, watching the scene in a distant third person.
Don’t let them see you shake.
Don’t.
“Control your baseline, Jaxon.”
Let.
You’re the funny one who distracts our targets
The.
Don't let them see what happens behind our closed doors.
Mask.
…And I’M the one who gets us the prize~
Fall.