Chapter Text
"What do we have here?" Rome asks, switching into professional mode, getting closer to examine Mok's wound.
Mok snaps out of whatever spell he was in moments ago and explains how he'd injured himself. Rome listens and nods.
"Alright. Mok, we'll clean it up and see how bad it is. From the looks of it, we might need stitches," He explains, grabbing his tools and getting to work immediately. Since Mok was already hooked up to pain meds, and also due to his inherent inability to feel emotions, he was essentially, not in a lot of pain. But it did sting at times, and when Rome prods at a certain spot, Mok hisses in pain. "Ouch."
"Sorry, I'll be more gentle," Rome says, and true to his word, his hands were gentler, and he checked on Mok's reaction for any kind of discomfort while working on his arm.
The hospital was relatively small, and the only fully functional one in their town. Mok had accompanied his parents there a couple of times, but he'd never seen Rome. Compared to everyone else, the man seemed quite young too.
"Are you from the city?" Rome asks after a while, his gaze focused on the stitches. "Checked your records, and none of them are from our town."
Mok manages a nod. Rome hums thoughtfully. "Usually, people don't leave the city to go back to the town."
It was true, and in many ways, Mok found himself regretting coming back home. But at the same time, it provided him a level of comfort that he knew he couldn't get anywhere else. It had a safety net from the questions he would definitely get if he were to choose to go back again.
"It was the better choice," Mok replies, intensionally vague with his wording. He knew the next question was inevitable, and braces himself.
Rome nods. "It is. I used to work in the city too. The hustle and the grind got tiring after some time. It's nice and quiet here."
In a way, Mok had never considered that part. It did feel nice and quiet to be home.
"The chart also said you are… unmatched," Rome brings up casually, his tone devoid of any specific emotion that usually made Mok want to curl into himself whenever the question was asked. Mok nods, looking down at his lap. "Severed. Happened… four years ago."
Rome nods as well, and his tone carried nothing but curiousity as he spoke up again. "Can I ask why? What happened? If you want to, of course."
Mok closes his eyes, remembering the words that haunted his sleep sometimes.
I have never loved you. I never will.
"You're a therapist now?" Mok's feeble attempt at a joke lands like an old bandaid being torn too suddenly. Rome clears his throat and shakes his head, his expression serious. "It's just… I've not met a lot of people here who have done it. Usually, people just suffer silently."
Now this- it catches Mok's attention.
"What?" He asks, a little taken aback.
Rome steps back to wash his gloved hands, and Mok realises he had finished his work already. "I used to work in the statistics department of the government. They don't count in opt outs like you. Every severence that happens is treated as a reason that is out of the program's scope, very conveniently. One of the main reasons I left, because I realised that they were not being honest. The percentage of success is not a 100%."
Mok looks down at his wrist, at the fading scar from the surgery he'd done to have his mark removed. "How.. how much is it then?"
"The success rate of the program was eighty percent, from my calculations from years ago," Rome says, sliding back into his seat. "It's not a 100% success rate."
For years, Mok had convinced himself that it was his fault. That somehow, the match had gone in a direction that it shouldn't have, and Dean didn't simply love him because he probably wasn't loveable enough.
"I thought," Mok gulps, "I thought it was my fault all this time."
Rome steps closer, taking Mok's hand in his with a gentleness that felt too intimate for someone he'd just met over forty five minutes ago, and bandages the wound. "No," He says, glancing at Mok in a way that again- had his heart beat stuttering. "It was never your fault. The system is broken."
Mok sits with those words as Rome continues to bandage his wounds. All this time, no one had told him that it wasn't his fault. No one had told him anything except that it would be okay, and Mok had waited for okay which never seemed to come.
Rome hand hovers over his wound after he was finished, and clears his throat. "All done," He says, shooting Mok a soft smile. "Come back a week later to get the stitches removed. We might also need to give you a tetanus shot again just to be safe."
Mok nods, only half listening, looking at the beautiful amber glow around the man taking form of small butterflies. They fluttered around the air, and Mok suddenly felt something more physical in his chest- a shift, like something being closed.
"Thank you," Mok says, and he knew that Rome understood that it was for more than the aid to his physical wound.
Rome nods in response, and Mok notices the tips of his ears turn red before the man leaves quickly, but the butterflies still linger. Mok reaches out to one, and unknowingly, smiles genuinely for the first time in a long time.
Mok goes home, and since the wound was still healing, he was technically not allowed to do anything at home.
In the following days, his mind involuntarily wanders to Rome, who must be a few years younger than him based on the way he looked. He thinks about the amber glow, and the butterflies, feeling something similar in his stomach when he recalled the way Rome had looked at him.
He checks the calender, and for the first time, he couldn't wait to go back to the hospital.
His gaze returns to the fading scar of his mark, and he thinks about what Rome had said about the stats. He opens his laptop starts to do his research, and finds a forum buried underneath many, many pages, testimonials about the program failing people. There were many people questioning the legitimacy of the program, while many argued it was simply the people themselves who were the reason the marks failed.
Mok thinks about Dean, and wonders if he too had been failed by the program, just like Mok had been. While it was easy to hate the man for what he'd said- Mok knew that Dean was forced into it just as much as he was.
But that doesn't excuse how he never tried.
It was not an excuse for how he'd ignored Mok and his efforts for such a long time.
He sighs, shaking his head. It was now a thing of the past, and it was behind him now.
Mok continues to read through the forum, and sees a comment stand out.
Is it possible to get a mark again?
The thought of getting another mark- of getting matched again- sends such a strong feeling of dread in his chest that he closes his laptop immediately.
No.
He would not go through that again.
Not after everything he'd been through with Dean.
Mok goes to the hospital after a week, strangely nervous about the whole ordeal.
Nervous about meeting Rome again.
The past week had been strange, as the colors had slowly, but surely started to come back.
He also had bouts of emotion- clear and strong, and he didn't understand why.
"Oh, Mok!" Rome's voice breaks him out of his daydreaming. For a few seconds, Mok simply stares at the amber surrounding the man, at the butterflies that were slightly different in color than the first time- a little pink.
Oh?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Rome teases, and Mok looks away, shaking his head, his cheeks burning.
"Alright, let's take a look at your wound…." Rome steps closer and begins to examine his wound. "Seems to have healed well! We can take the stitches off now."
Mok sits still as Rome begins to work on him, the butterflies distracting even when his gaze was elsewhere. Rome clears his throat. "How have you been otherwise?"
He was simply trying to make conversation, there was nothing to it. Yet, Mok didn't understand why he felt so unexplainably nervous. To make things worse, Rome notices, and puts a hand on Mok's shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"
The action causes Mok to jump in his seat, and by extension, he pulls the stitches, causing them to tear. Pain blooms through his arm, and Mok curses under his breath. "Fuck-"
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Rome apologised hurriedly, quickly accessing the damage. Mok, despite his pain shakes his head. "No- it's. It's not you. Sorry."
Rome doesn't respond for a few seconds, and instead, focuses his attention on tending to the wound. "You need stitches again."
Mok nods, his mind reminding him how that meant he would need to come again. The thought was strangely terrifying but not at the same time.
Rome frowns. "Sorry. I shouldn't have scared you like that."
With that, he continues to gently patch up the wound, with Mok stealing glances at the man- the amber was too distracting.
"You're staring," Rome mutters, pausing his stitching, meeting his gaze directly, something knowing flashing through his eyes. Mok knew he'd been caught, and there was no use in lying.
"I have synaesthesia," Mok says, suddenly embarrassed. "I- sorry."
"No, don't be," Rome's attention turns to the wound. "I know what it is. You see shapes or colors, right?"
Mok nods slowly.
"What do you see when you look at me?" Rome asks him, his voice softening.
Mok looks at him then, staring openly now that he had an excuse to, till Rome meets his eyes again.
Something changes in the air, and Mok watches in real time as the amber lightened, the edges of the rays turning pink.
"Amber," Mok replies, breathless all of a sudden. "And.. pink… Butterflies too."
Rome nods slowly, his eyes flickering down to Mok's lips for a brief second.
"I.. see," Rome says, his voice holding the same breathless quality as Mok's. He blinks repeatedly and looks away, quickly putting away his supplies. "Your wound. Stitch- I mean! You may need to come again for me to take a look at it. A week. Yeah."
Mok, despite himself, giggles. It causes Rome to pause, and he looks up at Mok, his gaze softening, and the tips of his ears turning red. "Oh."
Cute.
The thought passes through Mok's mind quick, traitorous and foreign. It felt wrong, but at the same time, it felt as if he was pieced back together.
Even as Rome leaves, the feeling stays, growing, intensifying- and Mok has to stop to think how terrifying it was that he was suddenly feeling while being unmatched, but also, how he was seeing the colors full fledged after four years.
But Mok decides not to think too deeply about it, because after a long time stuck in the sometimes overwhelming numbness, he was finally feeling hopeful.
Mok goes back a week later, the emotions he'd been feeling at a new peak- unnamed because that was the one thing he couldn't bring himself to do just yet.
Rome comes in after a while, and Mok felt his heart thunder under his chest when the man leaned in to check on his wound- and it was so loud he was worried that Rome could hear it.
It was not just because of the close proximity- because now, the amber that had surrounded Rome was gone- replaced by something new.
A very light shade of pink.
Mok didn't understand what it meant, but he keeps his gaze trained on his lap as Rome examines his arm, and bandages the wound. "Everything seems fine. Come again after a week for the final checkup."
"Okay," Mok nods, and Rome hums- the air holding a quality of awkwardness that wasn't present before.
Rome leaves after a while, with Mok feeling disappointed at the lack of-
What exactly?
Rome was his doctor. Mok was severed, what was he thinking?
The restlessness doesn't leave him even as he leaves the hospital, so Mok decides to stop by a random cafe and get his mind off things- by looking at people, and at the various colors and shapes- till, at some point, it starts to rain.
Mok curses under his breath, as he had already been outside for over an hour now, and his parents would definitely get worried. He looks outside, considering just running through the rain to the bus stop and worrying about catching a cold later.
"Mok?" A familiar voice- one that belonged to the very man who'd been in his thoughts for the past two weeks stops him in his tracks. He turns around- and looks at Rome, who was now dressed in casual clothes. "Doctor."
"I'm just Rome now," Rome says, the corner of his lips turning up briefly. Mok nods, biting his lip, glancing at the umbrella in the man's hand. "Rome. Hi."
"Hi," Rome smiles, looking at the rain, and then at Mok, lifting up his umbrella. "I'm heading out as well. Do you want to share?"
Mok considers the offer. "I don't want to trouble you."
"It's not a trouble at all!" Rome says, tilting his head towards the exit. "Come on."
Mok reluctantly follows Rome outside, the two of them walking towards the bus stop that was around five minutes away. The umbrella was big, but they still had to be pressed together- and the closeness was not helping Mok's already frayed emotions. Their hands brushed against each other, and at some point, Rome clears his throat. "Your hand is so cold."
Mok, embarrassed, apologises, attempting to put his hand in his pocket- but Rome grabs his hand before he could. "I've been told I have very warm hands. Hold onto mine, I'll warm them up for you."
"Huh?" Mok replies intelligently, his heart thundering under his chest, feeling the same pink butterflies that were fluttering around Rome in his stomach as the man closed his warm hand around Mok's cold fingers.
As was the theme with Rome- it felt wrong, but also so, so right.
They stop near the bus stop, and Mok internally mourns the distance when Rome let's go of his hand. The stop was empty, and Mok knew he had to wait a little while before his bus would come. He turns to Rome, ready to wave goodbye. "Thanks Rome."
"I'll wait with you, if you don't mind," Rome says, settling down on the narrow seat of the bus stop. He pats the space next to him and smiles at Mok. "Come on."
Mok blinks, genuinely taken aback, and unsure how to react. Was Rome being friendly? But they didn't even know each other- but Rome looked increasingly like a kicked puppy the longer Mok took to sit next to him.
"Am I coming on too strong?" He asks after a certain point, and Mok blinks a few times. "Huh?"
Rome chuckles, his gaze softening as he looked at Mok. "It's just- you're so fascinating."
The words caused the butterflies in his stomach to erupt, and Mok could feel his face warming. "What?"
Mok's bus arrives at that instant, and Mok looks at it and at Rome, who stands up and dusts his clothes nonchalantly, like he hadn't said something that had tilted Mok's world off its axis. "Your ride is here. I'll see you next week. Take care."
"I-" Mok is cut off by the driver honking at him, and he simply nods at Rome before boarding the bus. Even as he got in, Rome waits under the cover of the bus stop, and waves at him with a smile, pink butterflies fluttering around him- and Mok finds himself returning the wave, albeit in a daze.
That's how he is- in a daze, even as he goes home, where he looks at his reflection on the mirror.
His face was bright, and he looked happy. He felt happy.
Mok clutches his heart, ignoring the side of him that worried what the happiness meant for a second, and basks in the happiness.
Rome, I think… I'm falling for you.
Mok goes back to the hospital a week later for his final checkup, and Rome pauses in his steps, looking at him in that specific way that had Mok feeling like he was floating on clouds.
"Hi," Rome says, his eyes sweeping over Mok's outfit- one he'd put more effort into it that day for.. no particular reason.
"Hi," Mok replies, and lets Rome examine his wound- the closeness reminding him of how Rome held his hand that day.
"What color is it now?" Rome asks him, briefly meeting his eyes. "Around me."
"Pink," Mok replies, his breath catching as the color suddenly pulses- the same time Rome's eyes fall onto his lips, where it lingers, before he abruptly moves away.
Mok grabs his hand before he got too far away, unplanned as to what he wanted to say next. But he knew he had to say something- because the air in the room felt heated and fragile all at once.
Rome looks at his hand, and then at Mok, who was actively short circuiting. "Uh. Uh. Nothing."
Mok grabs his bag, ready to leave, because he needed to leave as soon as possible- because he was not about to ask his doctor on a date-
"Mok- wait-" Rome calls for him, making him stop abruptly in his steps. Mok slowly turns to look at him. "… Yes?"
Rome takes a deep breath, and he opens and closes his mouth, very obviously nervous.
"Are you free after 6 today?" He asks in a rush, his face turning red at a concerning speed. Mok blinks once, twice, his mouth falling open because.
Is he asking me out on a date?
"There's this new restaurant I wanna try," Rome continues, "I just thought, you may like it too? You don't have to say yes, but I'll like it if you said yes, no pressure-"
"I'll come," Mok cuts him off, Rome's nervousness strangely making him feel at ease. It was also adorable- the way Rome stopped his rambling, looking at Mok like he couldn't believe the words he'd uttered. "What- what did you say?"
"Yes," Mok replies, a giggle escaping his lips. "I said I'll come."
"Fuck, you actually said yes," Rome mutters, and it seemed like the words were thoughts spoken out loud. It was, again, cute.
Rome is so cute.
"Yes," Mok smiles, a little shy under Rome's gaze that softened yet again. Rome sighs. "Wow."
Then, he clears his throat and straightens. "Alright then. I- I have to go now, but I'll see you? The restaurant is called Silver Spoon. It's.. it's two blocks down from here."
Mok nods. "Okay. I'll see you there."
Rome nods in return, and then, walks outside the room. Mok watches him go, biting his lip as he recalled what had happened. But the door opens again, and Rome walks in. "Can I- can I also get your number?" He asks, "Just! So that we can text each other before arriving! That's- that's all."
Mok fakes nonchalance and nods, biting his lips to stop the smile forming on his lips. "Sure."
Their fingers brush against each other when they exchange their phones, and Mok felt something like electricity shoot up his spine from the mere touch.
Rome leaves afterwards, glancing at Mok one last time before leaving. "See you."
Mok smiles. "See you."
Once Rome had left, he gathers his things and walks home, a skip in his steps that hadn't been there before.
Oh Rome.
You're so cute.
As planned, Mok shows up at 6PM at Silver Spoon, wearing a suit- nothing fancy, but still dressed up.
He was going to have dinner with Rome. Rome had asked him to have dinner with him.
Mok couldn't believe it.
He walks into the restaurant, looking around for the man, till he spots him sitting in a corner, looking adorably nervous. He too was wearing a grey suit, his hair slicked back and carefully styled. He looked stunning in a way that had Mok pausing at the door to catch his breath for a second.
However, when Rome sees Mok, his mouth falls open- and it stays that way even as Mok gets closer and greets him. "Hi?"
Rome stands up abruptly, the chair nearly falling off with the speed at which he'd gotten up. "You- wow. Hi. Hi. Sit- sit down."
Mok bites his lip, stiffling a laugh, and sits down opposite Rome, who looks at him like he was someone desirable- his gaze warm yet molten. Mok couldn't remember a time anyone had looked at him that way.
"You're staring," He points out, attempting to be playful, but the slight nervousness in his voice betrays how he was truly feeling. The suit was his armour, but underneath it, he was still a man who's heart was pounding under his chest because of the man sat opposite him.
"You're so beautiful today," Rome says, and it's delivered with utmost sincerity. "I mean, you always do. It's just- today. Wow."
"Thank you," Mok says, biting his lip, but the smile still escapes. "You look nice too. I like the suit."
Rome's smile brightens, and he becones the waiter. "Let's order?"
Dinner goes by with conversation glowing freely between the two, with bouts of laughter, and stolen glances that stop being stolen- because Rome, Mok learns, was quite an open book. He looked at Mok like he hung up the moon and stars, and listened to his every word with rapt attention.
After dinner, they take a walk in the park nearby, and the silence that settled between them felt comfortable rather than emptiness.
"Can I ask you what happened?" Rome asks after a while, when they'd settled in a park bench with ice cream cones. The park was relatively empty save a few couples- and the thought of being one among them causes something in Mok to burn, overshadowing the discomfort that the question about the past always bought him.
Mok thinks about Dean, about how many dinners he'd booked, only to return home alone. He thinks about how Dean didn't even spare him a glance most days, let alone listen to anything he said.
"He.. he said he never loved me," Mok says, his voice breaking towards the end, as the sentence encapsulated everything he went through for months of his life. Even after all this time, it still hurt sometimes.
Rome is silent for a while upon hearing that, but instead of offering Mok sympathy like everyone else, he clicks his tongue. "What a fucking idiot."
It was a simple, ridiculous sentence, but it makes Mok laugh, because it reduced Dean into something insignificant.
"Yeah," He agrees. "He was an idiot."
"His loss," Rome adds, shaking his head like a disappointed dad. "Fumbling a diamond of a person like you."
Mok elbows him, his cheeks burning. "I'm not a diamond."
"I beg to differ," Rome says in a matter of fact tone, like it was simple truth rather than a compliment. Mok chuckles. "You're a strange man."
"Am I now?" Rome asks, leaning in slightly. "What makes you say so?"
"You're hanging out with a severed, and calling him a diamond," Mok says playfully. "You're having ice cream in a park at eleven PM with that man too."
"Sounds like I'm winning," Rome's lips briefly tilt up into a smirk, before his gaze softens, and his voice lowers into something more gentle. "I'm not hanging out with a severed. I'm just hanging out with Mok, who's the most fascinating man I've ever met, who's made me stutter one too many times because he's just so beautiful."
Mok felt something like the ground tilting underneath him as he listened, and registered the words leaving Rome's mouth- but the man wasn't done yet.
Rome leans in slowly, checking, giving time for Mok to move away- but when Mok stays still, Rome closes the gap between them and kisses Mok.
It was a soft, quick kiss, yet it filled Mok's heart with an emotion so strong he felt like his heart was about to burst.
Rome moves back just a little, leaving but an inch of space between their lips. "I've been wanting to do that for a while now."
Upon hearing those words, Mok grabs his neck, and pulls him into another kiss- this one longer, deeper, pouring in everything that had been building up for weeks now. Rome melts into it, easily, and they stay like that for what felt like hours- when Mok suddenly remembers something that causes him to pull away.
Rome chases his lips, dazed, and confused when Mok stops him with a hand on the chest. "What is it?"
"You-" Mok pauses to catch his breath. "What- what about your mark?"
Upon hearing those words, Rome's expression sours, and Mok briefly worried if he'd overstepped, but he had to know.
"I've never had one," Rome says quietly, looking down at his lap. "I'm twenty one, but it's still yet to appear."
Mok had heard stories of soulmate marks appearing as late as thirty years of age- and the thought sickened him. What was the guarantee that Rome would never get a mark?
He pushes himself away, and gets up abruptly from the park bench. "This was a mistake."
"Mok, what-" Rome tries to follow Mok, who puts a hand up to stop him. "No- just. Sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you before I- I'm sorry Rome."
Mok runs before Rome could question him again, quickly hailing a cab once outside the park, and rattles off his address to the driver.
He sees Rome call for him from the rearview mirror of the car, and turns away, hating himself for everything.
What was he thinking? He was a severed. There was no way he would find love again.
His phone buzzes with calls and messages from Rome, all of which Mok ignores- because he was a coward.
No.
When Rome inevitably got the mark, he'll be taken from Mok. He was doing the right thing and saving both of them from a heartache.
I'm sorry. One day, you'll understand.
Mok finds himself back in the same old routine before he'd met Rome- but now, there was a stark difference.
His heart ached. He felt pain and longing so deep that he wished he could rip his traitorous heart out of its ribcage.
It didn't help that Rome wouldn't stop messaging or calling him every single day- even after weeks pass.
But fate had different plans for him.
One day, Mok hops out of a shower, feeling a strange itch on his arm- more specifically, the area he'd injured recently.
He turns to the side, and looks at the mirror- and to his horror, finds something he had thought was myth, and filled him with dread so strong his feet gives out.
A new mark.
Right on top of his fading scar- the very one Rome had stitched.
No.
No, it can't be.
All this time, he'd been prepared for Rome getting a mark- but didn't stop to consider the possibility that he would get one.
In all honesty, it was rare, and almost unheard of. While many would call it a blessing, Mok, with his raging feelings for Rome, hated it.
He hated it so much.
Mok hops back into the shower and scrubs the wound, again and again and again till the skin turned red- but the mark wouldn't fade, stubborn and etched into him like a burn.
To make things worse, his phone buzzes on the counter, and he checks it to see a message from Rome, who he still couldn't bring himself to block.
Rome
I miss you so much
Mok's vision blurs after reading the message, and he sobs quietly in his bathroom as his parents were outside. He knew he had to leave at some point, because he didn't want them to worry- but he allows himself a few minutes to grieve quietly over his fate.
He'd just wanted to know what red felt like.
Why- why did it have to turn out this way?
Why did it always hurt in the end?
But fate wasn't done with him quite yet- because the very next day, while Mok had stepped out late at night to grab a drink, he runs into Rome.
It had been a few weeks since their disasterous date, and Rome, who always looked happy, looked depressed in a way that had Mok bursting with guilt.
Mok tries to get away before the man noticed him- but unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough, as Rome grabs his arm. "Mok!"
The distant sound of thunder could be heard, and Mok feels wetness on his face- it was going to rain soon. Great. Even the weather had decided to be terrible that day.
"Let go of me, please," Mok pleads, unable to look at Rome in the eye. Rome shakes his head, stubborn. "Please just. Please tell me what I did wrong that day. I thought everything was going so well- but you said it was a mistake- I- I don't understand-"
The hurt in his voice was unmistakable, and Mok knew that there was no way to sugarcoat the situation.
Like ripping off a fresh bandaid, Mok tells Rome the more recent truth.
"I have a mark."
Rome's grip on his hand loosens upon hearing those words, and Mok continues, sounding cruel to his own ears. "I have a mark now, you hear me? Do you understand what that means?"
He shakes off Rome's hand, unable to look at the man's hurt expression any longer.
"I'm sorry for that day, but this-" He gestures between them. "It was never going to happen."
"Then," Rome starts, causing Mok to pause in his steps. "Are you choosing a system that failed you over what we can have?"
The question hit a spot that was still too tender.
He didn't want to be matched with someone else either- but deep inside, Mok had always believed in it. Maybe because it was comfortable, because even if it failed, atleast, he would have his family to fall back to.
Going against the system- even if there was a chance it could succeed, what would happen if it failed?
Mok would have no one to fall back to, because the system punished the ones who didn't believe in it. Even though the failures were not treated well, atleast in his case, it seemed like he was given a second chance.
"What we have now," Mok says, as it starts to rain, "Is nothing."
Rome's expression shatters upon hearing those words, and Mok knew he would hate himself for those very words as long as he lived.
But he was doing the right thing.
One day, Rome will understand.
With that, he lets go of Rome's hand, and walks away, not bothering to pull the hoodie over his head- the rain masking the tears that followed after.
Every step he took away from Rome was charged with regret that felt heavier and heavier till Mok could only curl into bed once he was home, feeling the beginnings of a fever from being soaked to the bone from the rain.
Feverishly, he apologizes to Rome, because that was the only thing he could do.
I'm sorry Rome.
I'm so sorry.
The next day, Mok wakes up with his head feeling like a ton of bricks had been dropped on it, and his body burning like a furnace.
Mok goes about the usual motions, eating soups and taking medicines, but his appetite increasingly lessens, and he becomes weak, unlike he'd ever been.
His mother checks his forehead and frowns when he takes but two sips of the vegetable soup she'd made. "Sweetie, I'm worried. You should go to the hospital."
Mok knew he should, but the only one in town was where Rome worked, and he couldn't risk running into the man that soon. He also didn't want his mark to be discovered.
"I'll be fine," He reassures her, but his voice sounded so exhausted he wasn't sure if he believed it.
"If i didn't know better, I'll think you're going through a bond withdrawal," His mother says, sighing. Mok raises an eyebrow. "Why?"
"When your father and I were a lot younger, we had an argument, and I was so angry I left for a few days to my mom's place. Within the next day, I fell sick, and only when your dad came back did I feel better. The doctors said it was because we were one of those pairs with an exceptional match," She says, her voice turning fond towards the end.
The story makes Mok smile despite his sickness. His parents were one of those pairs who met and fell in love, and consequently, got a similar mark- while most went through the process after registering through the program.
It was one the main reasons why Mok was such a sucker for love, and why he'd chased and romanticized meeting his soulmate as much as he did.
His mind wanders to Rome, and his chest tightens as he recalled the broken expression on Rome's face.
Almost immediately, the corners of his vision begins to darken, and Mok grabs the sheets as his vision begun to swim.
The last thing that Mok hears was the shouts of his mother- before it all goes black.
The first thing that Mok notices after waking up was that he wasn't in his bed anymore, there was a strange beeping next to him, the walls were too white, and someone was seated next to him.
Mok looks at the person- Rome, and does a double take, because what was Rome doing there?!
Rome was slumped over in his chair quite uncomfortably, hooked up to an IV just like Mok was. He looked pale and sickly.
"Rome," Mok calls for him, but the man doesn't respond. Instead, a nurse notices him and quickly comes to his aid.
"Mr. Mok! You're awake," She says, quickly checking on his vitals, and takes his temperature and Rome's simultaneously, her lips curling into a smile when she noticed Mok's confused expression.
"Doctor Rome has been sick for a few days now. He's been showing up to work like this, refusing to rest even when we told him to, till he fainted today," She explains, pulling up the sleeve of Rome's shirt to reveal a mark.
Mok's mouth falls open- because in the same exact spot where Mok had his- Rome had a mark too. It was identical, and no doubt-
My soulmate.
"Imagine our surprise when you came in thirty minutes afterward, with the same exact mark on your arm. He woke up some time ago, but when he saw you, he wouldn't leave your side. He fell asleep just now," She smiles at the man, shaking her head. "Lovers can have their arguments, but you two have a special bond. I hope you can forgive each other and work on it, because," She shows his temperature. "Your fever is dropping," She says, following it up with Rome's. "So is his."
Mok had thought fate was cruel.
But fate had not just given him a second chance- it had given him a second chance with a man he'd fallen in love with.
Rome stirs up at that instant, and upon seeing Mok, he perks up, and immediately, starts to ramble. "Mok! You- you're awake. Do you even know how worried I was? You wouldn't talk to me-"
But Mok wasn't listening, because surrounding Rome were butterflies.
And they were all red.
The nurse leaves them even as Rome continues his rant. "Then I saw your mark and I-"
Mok launches himself onto Rome, hugging him tightly, cutting off his rant. "You're my soulmate."
That makes Rome pause as well, and Mok pulls back to look at Rome, his heart swelling with a plethora of emotions- happiness, fondness, and guilt, because he'd hurt Rome.
"Hey- why- why are you crying? Are you not happy-" Rome asks, confused, as Mok burrows his head into Rome's neck, the tears turning into full on sobs, the result of many years of questions and frustration boiling over. "You're my soulmate."
Rome, despite being confused and very concerned, comforts him with sweet words, and pulls him closer, rubbing his hand on Mok's back. "With the way you're crying, I'm starting to think you regret it."
It was a joke, but Mok couldn't afford for Rome to even think those things as a joke anymore. After composing himself, he apologizes. "I'm sorry for running away from our date that. I just… I was worried you'll get a mark, and it won't be me, and I liked you too much to see you with someone else."
"Someone else?" Rome cups Mok's face and shakes it. "Did you not notice? I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since that first day I saw you. Mark or not, I knew you were the one."
Mok's vision blurs with tears, moved by Rome's proclamation. "You love me?"
"Yes I do. I never believed in the marks. When I met you, I fell in love immediately. I knew that no matter what I'll throw everything away for you- only if you let me, of course. But then you left, and I got the mark, and I was scared because I was so in love with you I couldn't imagine someone else- and Mok, you have no idea how happy I am it's you. You have no idea," Rome says, his vision teary as well. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Mok says, wiping Rome's tears while Rome wiped his. The both of them probably looked a mess, but Mok couldn't care less.
"When I got the mark, I was so scared too. I.. I couldn't move on from you, and I said things I shouldn't have-" He says, his heart breaking as he recalled Rome's broken expression that day. "I'm so sorry. Please- please forgive me."
"Shh. It's okay, it's in the past," Rome says, kissing the spot where the tears fell. "I'm all yours now, if you'll let me. I promise, I'll make you the happiest man in the world."
Mok kisses Rome, salt from their tears mixing in with the sweetness as they laughed into the kiss.
I already am the happiest man in the world.
It takes Mok and Rome a few days to fully heal.
They get a new place in the town, close to the sea because Mok loved it, and they move in within the next month.
After three months of being together, Mok begins to understand something more significant as he looked at the red butterflies around Rome.
It was early in the morning, and Rome's warm hand envelops his as they walk by the beach, stealing glances at each other.
At some point, Rome gets down on one knee, and asks Mok a question that he would have never imagined just a year ago.
With the rings on his finger and heart bursting with happiness and fondness for the man next to him, Mok comes to a realisation.
Love wasn't the marks that had bought them together.
Love wasn't the red he chased after for so many years.
Love was… Rome.