Chapter Text
Laura hadn't really seen Carmilla the following two weeks. It felt weird after the weekend they'd had, but Laura was busy with school and this Halloween party and Carmilla seemed busy, too, with reading and writing and grading. They'd seen each other at softball and they'd talked through messages back and forth, but that was it until only a few hours before the party when Laura showed up at Carmilla's apartment and brought over their costumes.
Carmilla laughed when Laura finally revealed her plan. Laughed! But Laura was glad she was willing to go along with it. It didn't stop Carmilla from asking her a ton of questions, like: "Where'd you find this shirt?" "Where did you find find that dress?" "Is anyone going to even know who you and I are?" But she put the costume on without protest, and now they were at the party, which was held at a sorority house on campus.
Carmilla had wandered off in search of drinks, leaving Laura to talk to some of her law school friends, until she saw LaFontaine and JP enter and she excused herself to go talk to them.
"We're Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson," JP said before Laura could ask. Their costumes looked great.
"Didn't peg you for the second fiddle, LaF," Laura teased.
"JP's a librarian. It made sense for him to be the lead detective. And Watson is the science man. Believe me when I say we thought this through," LaFontaine explained as Laura laughed.
"You're obviously Cinderella, or some other princess-type thing. Where's your Prince Charming? Carmilla not here?"
Laura rolled her eyes. LaFontaine had recently begun teasing her about Carmilla, even though Laura repeatedly told her they were just friends.
"I'm Princess Buttercup," she revealed. JP and LaFontaine looked at her blankly. "From The Princess Bride," she added. That seemed to spur some recollection. Laura had made her friends watch it last year when she learned they'd never seen it.
"Isn't that some great love story?" JP asked, removing the pipe from his mouth.
"Only one of the greatest," Laura confirmed.
LaFontaine was starring at her, smirking. "So Carmilla isn't that big, bad pirate guy from the movie, then," they said with the most obnoxious grin on their face as Laura's face turned bright red.
"Hey, guys," Carmilla said, appearing from somewhere and handing Laura a bottle of water. "Sherlock and Watson. That's cute."
"Not as cute as the two of you," LaFontaine said, pointing between the two. They looked like they were really struggling to keep their mouth shut. "You're that pirate guy from The Princess Bride, right?"
"It's the Dread Pirate Roberts, or just Westley, LaF. You saw the movie," Laura huffed.
"This was Laura's idea," Carmilla said, gesturing to her outfit with her hands. "I basically already had the entire costume. But everyone thinks I'm Zorro, which isn't the worst."
"Better than going as a vampire six years in a row," JP said.
Carmilla flipped him off. "Where's Betty Crocker?"
"She'll be here soon. She was helping Kirsch with his costume," LaFontaine answered. "They're coming as Lucy and Ricky from I Love Lucy. I told them no one would know what that is, but Perry was adamant about it, and it's not like anyone will know who you guys are, so they'll be in good company."
Laura rolled her eyes. "I've got to go check on some things, so I'll catch up with you guys later." She wandered off to the kitchen, leaving her friends behind.
—-
Laura found LaFontaine talking to Perry. A lot of people were crammed into the house, so many that they had to stop selling tickets, which they didn't expect. Laura considered the evening a success.
"Where are Kirsch and JP?" Laura asked.
LaFontaine shrugged their shoulders, looking around. "They left about ten minutes ago to see if they could find those little bagel pizzas that were going around. Where's Carmilla?" they asked.
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen her for a while. She didn't text to tell me she's going home, so..."
"There she is," Perry said, pointing to some spot behind Laura.
Laura turned around and saw Carmilla in the kitchen, pressed up against the counter, trapped there by some girl. Carmilla was smiling at this girl and just chatting away and Laura couldn't ignore how devastated the entire scene made her feel.
"Who's she talking to?" LaFontaine asked.
Laura shook her head. "I don't know."
"You should go over there," LaFontaine prodded.
Laura turned her head away from whatever was happening in the kitchen and looked briefly at her friends and shook her head. But then she turned her gaze back at Carmilla and the girl dressed as a French maid. Such a cliché, Laura thought. And Carmilla looked like she was eating it up.
"You're both idiots," she heard LaFontaine say.
Laura turned her attention away from Carmilla, taking some comfort that she was shaking her head and had removed her arm away when the girl tried to reach for it. The smile was still plastered all over her face though.
"What are you talking about?" Laura asked.
"You and Carmilla. You both like each other—"
"I don't have time for a relationship right now. I told her that," Laura interrupted, admitting more than she intended. She blamed it on the fact that Carmilla was continuing to talk to a girl who wasn't her or Perry or Mel or anyone else she knew wasn't a threat. But that thought really was ridiculous.
"You guys discussed this?" The question came from Perry, who kept looking at LaFontaine as if to gauge whether or not her best friend knew more than she did.
"A couple of times, yeah. It was mostly me sticking my foot in my mouth and her being amused, but we've talked about it," Laura admitted.
"And?" Perry prodded.
"And nothing. She never asked me out or anything, but I told her I didn't have time even think about dating anyone right now—"
"Despite the fact that you've both been attached to the hip for a while now. And you probably see her more than you see Danny, and you live with her. Your time excuse is shit and you know it." LaFontaine had always been good at delivering the truth.
It hit Laura in that moment. That feeling she couldn’t quite define was crystal clear. ”Shit,” Laura said. "I like Carmilla, guys.” LaFontaine and Perry nodded, both looking like this wasn't the revelation of the century. "And I've fucked it all up. She called me attractive and interesting and I fucked it all up. And now she's probably trying to move on. She can't move on!"
"Laura, you need to breathe, honey." Perry grabbed her shoulders and began deep breathing. "Carmilla is only talking to that girl. That's all. So just breathe."
Laura's breathing returned to normal, but she still looked so forlorn.
"Smile, Hollis," LaFontaine said. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery."
"You're not helping, LaFontaine," Perry scolded.
LaFontaine rolled their eyes. "I meant that now that she’s willing to admit what was so painfully obvious to everyone, she can do something about it."
Laura looked even more terrified at the thought.
—-
Carmilla had had enough of this girl. Mary-Jane, or something close to that. She couldn’t remember and didn’t care. She’d trapped Carmilla in the kitchen when Carmilla went searching for a small snack. She hated parties like this. She didn’t know what to do at them. There were people out back playing some weird version of beer pong and a few people seated around a bonfire in the backyard, but Carmilla wasn’t one for small talk or loud places. She’d spent most of the night with her friends, but then JP and Kirsch left in search of snacks and she decided to follow, losing them at some point, and now she was stuck in this conversation with girl in a French maid costume who didn’t understand the social mores regarding personal space, nor could she, through all her flirting, pick up the cues that Carmilla wasn’t interested.
“What did you say you were studying?” The girl asked.
“I didn’t.”
“Let me guess,” the girl said. “Business?” Carmilla’s eyes shot up. She wanted to laugh. “Economics?” Carmilla bobbed her head but didn’t say anything. “Political Science?”
Carmilla couldn’t take it anymore. “Philosophy,” she said. “I’m pursuing a PhD in philosophy.”
Something Jane’s face soured. “Why?” the girl asked. “What do you think you’re going to do with a philosophy degree?”
Carmilla shrugged her shoulders but didn’t attempt to answer the question. It wasn’t this girl’s business what she was going to; she didn’t intend to speak to this girl ever again.
“I’m going to be a lawyer,” the girl said, as if Carmilla had asked the question. “I’ve seen you play for our softball team. You’re really good.”
Carmilla gave her a closed-lipped smile.
“You’re a friend of Laura’s right?” she asked.
“Yeah. You know her?” Suddenly Carmilla was interested in the conversation.
“Yeah,” the girl scoffed. “I know her.”
“You don’t like her?”
“She’s such a know-it-all and never shuts up in class, so no one can ever say anything. And she’s a prude. You could do better.” She tried to run her finger down Carmilla’s arm again, but Carmilla used her other hand to remove the girl’s finger.
“Oh, hello, Sarah Jane.” Sarah Jane! That’s what the girl’s name was. But Carmilla still didn’t care; she was just relieved to hear Laura’s voice.
By instinct, she put her arm around Laura’s shoulders when Laura sided up to her to face Sarah Jane.
“Laura, we were just talking about you,” Sarah Jane said, smiling.
“All good things, I hope.” She snuck her arm around Carmilla’s waist.
Sarah Jane smiled but didn't say anything else.
"Sarah Jane was just telling me how much she admires all the preparation you do for class," Carmilla answered, twisting Sarah Jane's words, hoping she'd get the hint this time that she wasn't interested.
Laura smiled up at Carmilla, tickling Carmilla's hip with her fingers. She didn't think Laura knew she was even doing it. But then she smiled at Sarah Jane. "I'm going to steal Carm here," she said. "It's almost time to award the costume prizes, and we're sort of a packaged deal in that regard." She turned to Carmilla. "Ready?"
Carmilla smiled, then replied," As you wish." They left Sarah Jane behind without any other goodbye.
—-
They didn't win the award for best pairs costume, but they weren't eligible, as Laura was on the committee. The award went to the people dressed Tina and Louise Belcher, who, JP pointed out, weren't even a duo, but LaFontaine didn't seem to care and Carmilla didn't even know who they were.
Laura had to stay to help clean up, so Carmilla left with their friends, but not before Laura pulled her aside to say goodbye.
"Thanks for doing this with me, Carm," she said.
"Of course."
"I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out that much with me doing committee stuff."
"It's okay. I got to have that riveting conversation with your classmate, remember?" Carmilla winked.
Laura hoped she successfully hid the disdain she felt remembering watching that scene play out from afar. "Sarah Jane is..." Laura paused, trying to phrase her thoughts properly. "She hasn't been very nice to me. I sort of freaked out when I saw you smiling at her," she admitted, grateful they were in a dimly lit hallway that probably covered her blush.
"I wasn't smiling with any sincerity," Carmilla assured her. "She was really boring and kind of dense."
Laura laughed. "She's actually really smart."
"Maybe at doing law school, but she doesn't know the first thing about flirting with women."
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Laura asked, changing the subject.
"I'm having lunch with my mother," she groaned.
Laura laughed. "Do you want to hang out after? I'll cook you dinner."
Carmilla looked at her like she'd grown another head or something. But when Laura smiled, Carmilla relaxed and smiled back at her.
"Yeah. I'd like that," she said.
Laura's smile grew. "Okay. Good. Come over any time after six."
"Okay."
They stood there just looking at each other, smiling, neither moving.
"I better go help with the clean up," Laura said after a moment.
"Yeah. I better go find LaF or I'll be walking home. I'll see you tomorrow."
Laura leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Carmilla's neck—their first hug—which was basically the worst idea ever since Carmilla smelled so good and when Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura's waist and pulled them closer together, Laura's only thought was that they fit really well together.
"See you tomorrow, Carm."
—-
Carmilla rang Laura's doorbell just before 6:30 . She hadn't actually spent any time at Laura's, not since they'd met that first night when Laura provided a safe space for her to sleep after being drugged at her mom's party, so being invited over felt significant.
"Hey," Laura said when she opened the door.
"Hey." Carmilla smiled in that shy, awkward way she always did when she tried to keep herself from smiling.
Laura took in her body, going so far as twirling her around, and Carmilla had no idea what was going on.
"Just checking to see if you were still in one piece after hanging out with your mom. But everything looks normal, so come in."
Carmilla shook her but followed her in. "Is Danny here?" she asked, dropping her coat and scarf onto the chair she sat in that morning wearing only the NAVY t-shirt and a pair of underwear.
"No. The volleyball team she coaches had an away game tonight and they're staying overnight," Laura explained as she walked towards to kitchen. "It's a state tournament game or something like that, so Danny said they had to travel further than normal. So she's out for the night."
"So it's just us tonight?" Carmilla asked, joining Laura in the kitchen and handing her the bottle of wine she'd brought.
"Yeah," Laura said, stirring something in a pot. Whatever it was smelled delicious. She looked back at Carmilla, a little bit nervous. "I hope that's okay," she said. "After last night I wanted a quiet night in and we didn't really get to hang out so..."
"Sounds good," Carmilla said, smiling. "Can I help with anything?"
"Open the wine and pour us a couple of glasses? There should be an opener in that drawer," Laura said, gesturing unhelpfully with her head, "and glasses are in the cabinet on the left side of the sink."
Carmilla grabbed the bottle back and went in search of items in question. With a corkscrew in hand, she said, "It smells delicious. What are you making?"
Laura looked over her shoulder, back at Carmilla, with a small smile on her face. "It's my nona's lasagna recipe. If I make it correctly you're in for a treat."
"You're nona? You're Italian?"
"Only, like, a quarter," Laura answered. "But my grandmother was the real-deal. She left Italy when she was two."
Carmilla really didn't know where to take that line of conversation. She handed Laura her glass and leaned back against the counter facing Laura's back and took a sip from her own.
"I didn't get to see her much," Laura continued. "She was my mom's mom, but my parents divorced when I was eight and my mom moved to Nigeria to work for an NGO. But my dad made me go stay with her parents for at least a week every year."
"Unless your grandparents were horrible people, your dad sounds like a decent guy," Carmilla said.
Laura turned and smiled at her. "My grandparents were wonderful. They've both since died. And my dad is the best." She turned back around.
Carmilla laughed. "Is there anything else I can do to help?"
Laura faced her again and just looked in her eyes for a bit. "Just keep me company?"
Carmilla nodded and Laura resumed working on their lasagna.
"Did you ever go visit your mom in Nigeria?” she asked, after she hopped up to sit on the counter.
Laura tensed a bit, holding a lasagna noodle mid air and Carmilla wished she could take the question back.
"Once," she said. "When I was sixteen. My dad made me go for Christmas break."
"You didn't like it?" Carmilla didn't know why she asked.
"Nigeria was fine," Laura said, spreading ricotta around in a casserole dish. "I just didn't like being around my mom and having to watch her give herself to all these women and children and them treating her like she was this great, selfless woman when she couldn't even stick around to watch her daughter grow up."
Carmilla didn't know what to say. She was never good in awkward situations. Luckily for her, Laura continued.
"Sorry. My mom's a bit of a sore subject. She lives in Houston now, but I don't speak to her that often, especially now that I no longer live with my father and he can't force or guilt me into calling her anymore."
"Hey, you're preaching to the choir here when it comes to mommy issues."
Laura placed the lasagna into the oven and set a timer. She grabbed her glass and lifted it towards Carmilla. "I'll drink to that," she said before taking a generous sip of wine.
They were silent for a moment and Carmilla was unsure whether this was a good silence or a bad one. But then Laura shook her quickly back and forth, which seemed to snap herself out of a trance.
"The lasagna's going to take a little while, so let's go sit down," she said as she walked towards the living room. "Speaking of mothers, I want to hear about your lunch."
Laura sat down on the couch and patted the sofa indicating that Carmilla should sit on the other end or the sofa instead of in what she loosely considered her chair. She placed her glass on the coffee table and then ran her fingers through her hair.
"Lunch was surprisingly okay," she said. "She asked me how my courses were going and how I found the undergraduates I teach. I asked about her job. And, in typical Lilita fashion, she reprimanded me for slouching and dressing much too casually, but considering what she usually says, it was okay."
"That's good, I guess," Laura said, nodding her head slowly up and down. "Did you mention anything about what happened at the party?"
Carmilla smirked at Laura. The girl really couldn't let a subject lie, as LaFontaine had said in this very room so many weeks ago. "She tried to bring it up casually. Something to the effect of 'You and Congressman Renchler's daughter seemed to hit it off at that party.' And I couldn't help myself, so I may have mumbled, 'Yeah, until she drugged me,' forgetting my mother had bionic hearing. So I told her the whole story and she laughed. It was a Lilita Morgan laugh, so it was a little bit scary and uncomfortable, but it wasn't her sinister laugh."
"Your mother finds out you were drugged and possibly nearly raped and she laughs?" Laura asked. She looked horrified.
Carmilla simply shrugged. "I'd rather have laughter than a reprimand."
"Geez. And I thought my childhood was bad."
Carmilla laughed. "Oh, it gets better. My mother then tells me that years ago, after we lived her for a year or so, Ell Renchler caught her father and my mother in bed together, and they both had to bribe her not to say anything. She basically had her pick of a car from what I understand."
Laura's jaw had dropped at the revelation, and it still hung open. She seemed to start to speak and then she'd suddenly stop. She did that a few times before she said, "Okay, first, ew. No one wants to hear that about their mom."
Carmilla shrugged her shoulders again but didn't say anything else. Neither of her parents were the most faithful during their marriage. Hell, her father was now married to her childhood nanny.
"And secondly, is her theory that Ell acted independently that night?"
"Her guess is that Ell was using me to get back at her for sleeping with her father. She didn't seem too concerned that there was a big conspiracy. She and the congressman have apparently continued an occasional affair of sorts, so she doesn't see how or why he'd be involved."
Laura rubbed her temples and then her eyes. She seemed more bothered by this than Carmilla was, which amused Carmilla to no end.
"So we don't need to worry about it happening again? You're not this easy-to-access target and, other than your mother sleeping with a married man, your mother isn't involved in some grand conspiracy or cover up or anything like that where people might use you to get to her?"
Carmilla smiled. "If she was she certainly wouldn't tell me," she said. "But thank you for worrying about me." She was smirking now. "It's nice to know you care."
She meant for it to be a light jab, but the look in Laura's eyes was serious. "Of course I care."
"Need I remind that the night this happened you hated my guts?"
"I didn't hate your guts," she said, looking somewhat forlorn. "I didn't even know you."
"Hey, that was months ago." Carmilla said. Her voice was soft, placating.
"It was only two and a half months ago," Laura said, still clearly upset.
"And I wasn't entirely faultless that night. It's not like I didn't enjoy antagonizing you." She poked Laura's shoulder, eliciting the smallest of smiles from her.
"You did seem to have it out for me."
"Only because you looked at me with contempt!" Carmilla defended, laughing softly as she spoke. "I had to find a way to compensate for my wounded pride."
Laura's raised an eyebrow. "Your wounded pride? What? Because a girl didn't bow at the alter of your 'charm'?" she teased, emphasizing the last word with air quotes.
"You weren't just a girl though. You were Laura!" That got Laura's attention. Her eyes went wide. "LaF and Perry mentioned you basically all the time. 'We have this new friend. She's brilliant. You'd like her.' Or 'Laura's sarcasm might give yours a run for its money.' Or 'We went out with the gang. Being out with Laura is a lot like being out with you. People are always hitting on her or flirting with her.' They would not shut up about you. I thought LaF had a huge crush on you for a while they way they went on about you."
"I had no idea," Laura said, looking shy all of a sudden.
"Yeah," Carmilla continued. "So when you were rude to me even before we'd been introduced, I was a little... How should I put this? I was hurt, I guess. You'd been built up in my mind for nearly a year and there you were, as beautiful and sarcastic as LaF said you were. And you hated me the second I opened my mouth. I guess I wasn't expecting that, so I just kept trying to piss you off. Not my most mature move, but I was mostly just acting on instinct."
"And Ell?" Laura asked. "You seemed to like that she fell for your charm."
"Ell is a pretty girl, who seemed willing to have a good time," Carmilla admitted, "but she was so boring."
Laura laughed.
"And I hoped that my being with her would piss you off even more, and it seemed to work."
Laura fidgeted where she sat. "It definitely worked."
"Anyway, that was forever ago. It happened and, if it wasn't for Ell we may not even be where we’re at right now."
"Yeah, I guess you’re right." Laura laughed. She placed her glass on the coffee table and stood up. "I'm going to check on the lasagna. I'll be right back."
Carmilla furrowed her brows and wondered if she was overthinking Laura's odd reaction.
—-
Carmilla liked the lasagna well enough to have two pieces. That, and she told Laura how much she liked it when she first bit into it—that she hadn't tasted a lasagna that good since she had some in Italy the summer before her senior year of high school. Laura was relieved. But she was also a bit of a wreck. She had Carmilla all to herself and she didn't know how to talk to her, much less make any kind of move.
Laura stood at her kitchen sink rinsing off the dishes from dinner , while Carmilla did who knows what in her living room. Laura didn't know what to do. Should she suggest they go to a bar? go for a walk? stay in and watch a movie? She didn't have a plan for anything after dinner. But she couldn't keep stalling in the kitchen either, so she turned off the faucet and joined Carmilla back in her living room.
Carmilla wasn't in the living room. Laura panicked thinking she'd left, but her coat and scarf were on top of the chair, so the rational part of her brain figured she'd just gone to the bathroom. She walked towards it to make sure, but the door was open and the lights were off. Instead, she found Carmilla in her room, standing in front of a frame on one of the walls, and Laura was momentarily mortified. She regretted putting it up, but her father had given it to her—one of his proudest moments—he'd told her, and she put it up in her room. It was a frame containing a copy of her first published article, which was a feature in her town's local paper about her neighbor, a woman who devoted most of her free time to rehabilitating "misunderstood" dogs. She was eleven when she wrote the article and submitted it on a whim. But the paper sent her a check for the submission. They even used the photo she'd taken that day of her and her neighbor and her neighbor's dog Russell, a pitbull she'd rescued four years ago. She'd set her father's camera up on a tripod and used the timer setting, and the camera captured the exact moment when Russell licked Laura's face, while she and her neighbor smiled for the camera. Carmilla must have missed seeing it when she'd spent the night in her room.
Carmilla smiled at Laura when she registered her presence. "You had a crush on your neighbor," she said, surprising Laura. She expected her to say it was "cute" or make fun of her or something, not what actually came out of her mouth.
"What?"
She looked at Laura, pointing to the frame. "Evelyn Parker," she said.
"I was eleven and Evelyn Parker was in her late twenties. How would I even know what a crush was?" Laura laughed.
"I didn't say you knew you had a crush on her, just that you did. It's cute."
There it was. "She moved away a couple of years later. Neighbors complained about all the dogs barking, so she bought a farm just outside of town and opened up a dog sanctuary full time. I wonder if she's still there."
"Is this what inspired your journalism?"
"Probably. I got a lot of attention for the article. It was addicting."
"So why are you doing law?"
"When I was in university, I pitched a piece on a some run-down apartment buildings the university had bought to tear down and rebuild into off-campus student housing. But the deal was going to displace many people, most notably low-educated single mothers who didn't have many housing options to begin with. The university threatened to expel me if I went ahead with the piece."
"And you did it anyway." It wasn't a question. When Laura turned to look at Carmilla, she had that patented smirk on her face.
"Of course I did."
"Did they expel you?"
"Almost," Laura replied with a wink. "They certainly tried to, but they didn't have any legal grounds. Freedom of the press is a fundamental right."
"So that fight piqued your interest in law?" Carmilla guessed.
"That certainly aided it. It was terrifying but so satisfying going up against a big institution, but it was actually a small detail I found buried in the contract of the sale of the property for the story I did. The seller stipulated that each occupant be given either six months notice to leave or be compensated for up to three months of housing in lieu, but the university had no intention of following through with that agreement and the tenants had no idea the agreement existed. And it seemed criminal that something so important was essentially out of the reach of the people most in need of knowing about it. I'm not sure I want to be a lawyer, actually, but knowing how lawyers think is definitely an asset."
"So still an investigative journalist at heart," Carmilla said, nodding.
Laura smiled then shrugged her shoulders. "Some things don't change, I guess." She went to got sit at the edge of her bed. "How about you? Did you think you'd be getting a PhD in philosophy?"
"I'm nowhere close to getting it yet," Carmilla said, staring back at the frame. She turned back to Laura and leaned against the small desk. "The truth is I don't know what to do, so I just kept doing what I had been doing. It's gotten me pretty far so to this point, but let's see if I can ever find employment."
Laura laughed. It was an anxiety she understood all too well.
"Hey, so, I don't know what your plans are for the rest of the night, but do you want to stay and watch a movie? Or I think Danny has Battleship if you'd rather play a game."
Carmilla laughed. "Battleship? You've got to work on your pitch, Cupcake."
Laura blushed as she nervously waited for Carmilla's reply.
"I kind of thought we'd be hanging out the whole night anyway," Carmilla said.
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to assume," Laura said stupidly. At least she thought it was stupid.
"But I think I have a better idea than Battleship if you're up for a surprise and don't mind the chill of a fall night," Carmilla suggested, her left eyebrow raised for dramatic effect.
"What do you have in mind?"
"It's a surprise. But dress warmly. I'll meet you back here in about thirty minutes?"
"You're leaving?" Laura asked, confused. She didn't want Carmilla to leave. It would ruin the vibe they had and she was really liking the vibe.
"I need to add a few layers," Carmilla said, gesturing to her body with her hands, "and make one stop before I come back."
"Yeah, okay," Laura said, but she wasn't sure she was okay.
But Carmilla just smiled and walked out of Laura's room. "I'll be back," she said with a smile before she fully disappeared.
—-
Carmilla returned as she promised about thirty minutes later. She'd traded her leather jacket for an dark army green coat that looked much warmer with a scarf tucked inside around her neck and black beanie on top of her head. She looked so un-Carmilla like in that moment, but Laura thought she looked perfect.
"Ready?" she asked.
Laura grabbed her coat from the front closet, along with her own hat and scarf. "I think so."
Carmilla drove them to the outskirts of town, along a dark country road. The university was basically the entire town—so much so that the summer break turned it into a ghost town. Most of the town inhabitants were students or young professors, while many of the townies lived on the periphery in a more rural area. Carmilla didn't venture very far outside the town, but it was far enough that neighbors were a good two-minute walk away. And about five minutes after they left the small town, Carmilla pulled into a long driveway to what appeared to be an abandoned home. Laura started to panic.
"Um, we're not trespassing, are we?" she asked. "Because I saw the For Sale sign as we pulled in, and I know you don't live here."
Carmilla answered by rolling her eyes. She grabbed some items from her trunk and when Laura still hadn't moved, she opened the passenger door and asked, "Are you coming?"
That didn't answer Laura's question, but her curiosity won out. She followed Carmilla around the side of the house to the backyard. She didn't understand how Carmilla moved around so confidently in the dark, as it was basically pitch black out there, but when they moved to the back of the house, Carmilla turned on the flashlight on her phone, which she pointed to the house.
Laura watched as Carmilla fiddled with the knob on the back door until she got it open and reached in to turn a light switch on. Laura had been too panicked about trespassing and breaking and entering to be comfortable with whatever was happening to look around at the space the light revealed. She watched as Carmilla walked away from the house to set her things on a nearby table.
"Are you just going to stand there?" she asked Laura, who still hadn't moved.
"Where are we?" she finally asked.
"My house. Or at least it used to be my house. I haven't lived here for years and my mom's trying to sell it."
Laura let out a breath and shook her head, laughing quietly to herself before she made her way over to Carmilla.
"Why are you laughing?" Carmilla asked, uncovering an outdoor sofa on the patio where they stood.
Laura shook her head. "I thought we were breaking and entering," she said, laughing at how stupid it sounded now.
"Nothing so exciting, I'm afraid." She handed Laura a blanket. "Wait here. I have to go grab a couple of things from the trunk."
Laura allowed herself a quick look around. The patio where she stood was built to impress and entertain, with a built in barbecue, bar, and service station. The furniture circled around a bonfire pit in the middle of the patio. She couldn't imagine Lilita Morgan throwing backyard barbecue parties, but she supposed anything was possible.
Carmilla returned with a bundle of wood, which she set down on one of the still-covered chairs and grabbed a knife from the bag that held the blanket. She used the knife the rip open the bundle and then filled the pit with the wood.
"It's probably one of the last nights of the year we'll be able to do this," Carmilla finally said as she crumpled up some newspaper which she placed in and around the wood. "And it's probably the last chance I'll get to use this patio," she observed.
"So we're just going to sit by a fire?" Laura asked. She didn't hate the idea, but she didn't understand it.
"No. We're here for dessert—and to sit and enjoy a fire."
"What's for dessert?"
Carmilla didn't say anything, but she pointed to the bag, inviting Laura to take a peek.
"Smores?" Laura asked. She couldn't contain the giant smile that broke across her face if she tried.
Carmilla just shrugged her shoulders before returning to the bonfire pit where she lit a small piece of wood and worked her way around to light the newspaper pieces. Laura watched her, mesmerized by her movement, her concentration, her confidence, everything. She was nothing how Laura thought she'd be that first night she'd met her. She was smart, funny, introspective, surprisingly athletic, and she could play the piano so beautifully it had brought Laura to tears. Laura felt special that, despite how rudely she treated her that first night and despite the fact that she made it really difficult for Carmilla to be her friend, she was still there with her, spending her Saturday night building a fire so that their night could continue just the two of them. The gesture in any other context would have been romantic—probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her, but their relationship wasn't like that and Carmilla had respected her decision about not wanting anything more and had never once pressured her, and, Ugh, Laura thought to herself. Why'd she have to be perfect?
Carmilla was smirking at her when she brought her eyes to meet hers. Her stomach dropped. She didn't just say that out loud, did she? Carmilla was looking at her like she'd said something she shouldn't have.
"Huh?" Laura asked. She thought it better to play dumb than risk saying anything she shouldn't.
Carmilla's smirk grew. "I asked what you thought of the fire," she said holding her arms out to the fire.
Laura breathed in relief that she hadn't just told Carmilla she was perfect. "It looks great," she said sincerely. "When can I start making smores?"
Carmilla rolled her eyes but smiled. "Let me get the roasting sticks." She walked back to the garage, disappearing somewhere inside and returned with the two fanciest marshmallow roasting poles she'd ever seen. Laura had only ever used a pulled-apart wire hanger. Then Carmilla grabbed the rest of the smores supplies and placed them on the small end table between the sofa and another chair and sat down. Laura joined her on the couch, extending the blanket so that it draped over both of their legs.
Laura stuck a few marshmallows through the tip of her stick and stuck it expertly at the tip of the fire. She preferred a slow roast, where the marshmallow showed small brown spots, rather than a full-on char.
"Aren't you going to make one?" she asked when she noticed Carmilla just sat watching her rotate her stick.
"Maybe later."
Laura shrugged and focused on her task. The marshmallow on the tip was cooking faster than the other two and she would need to build her smore soon.
Carmilla, sensing her dilemma, began opening the box of graham crackers and broke one in half. Then, she grabbed the chocolate bar and broke a piece off before placing it on one of the cracker halves. She held the two crackers up for whenever Laura was ready. Laura smiled, then she grabbed the cracker without the chocolate and used it to help her slide the marshmallows over the chocolate covered cracker in Carmilla's hand before she topped it and stole a piece in her mouth.
Laura moaned as she tasted her food, and then laughed when Carmilla looked at her, eyebrows up by her hairline. She was enjoying her smore too much to be embarrassed by the noise she'd made.
"It's the middle of the term," Carmilla said while Laura was still eating her smore. "I'm kind of surprised you're not freaking out about your coursework."
"Who says I'm not freaking out about it?" she said before taking the last bite of her dessert.
"And yet you're spending your night with me after dedicating your Friday night to the Halloween party. Two social nights in row must be some sort of record for you or something," Carmilla teased.
Laura took in a deep breath thinking of her answer. "I'm trying a new approach," she said.
"A new approach?"
"Yeah. It has been pointed out to me by a few of my friends that I need greater work-life balance in my life, so I'm trying it out."
"Work-life balance?"
Laura rolled her eyes at Carmilla's smirk.
"All work and no play makes Laura a dull girl?" Carmilla added when she hadn't said anything.
"Something like that."
Laura sat back, deciding the a little while before making her second smore because there would definitely be a second smore, but it didn't feel right in that moment, when it seemed as if the conversation was taking a turn towards where she simultaneously wanted and didn't want it to go.
"And you're choosing to spend your time with me," Carmilla noted. "I feel like I should win a medal for that or something. Laura Hollis has chosen to spend her valuable free time with me."
"You're basically my best friend," Laura said. "Of course I'd want to hang out with you." She hadn't realized until the moment it came out of her mouth that it was true. It didn't explain the entirely of what she felt about Carmilla but it wasn't any less true.
Carmilla didn't respond right away and she wasn't looking at Laura. Laura began to think she'd said something wrong until she finally did speak. "I'm not sure I've had a best friend since, well, maybe ever, unless you count my step sister, but she lives in Paris."
Laura's brow furrowed and she looked over at Carmilla. "What about Elsie?"
"Elsie and I had a lot of fun together, but our friendship was never anything deep or meaningful. We didn't talk about serious things. I like her and we've kept in touch sporadically over the years, but she's not someone I couldn't imagine my life without."
"You told her about me," Laura said.
Carmilla laughed. "Yeah, I thought she'd enjoy a story about me waking up in a gorgeous girl's bed without having hooked up. Bonus points because the girl hated my guts."
"I didn't—" Laura started.
"I know. We've already gone over that," Carmilla said. She shifted and turned her body ninety degrees, bringing her knee up onto the sofa so she could fully face Laura. "And I'm trying so hard to be that friend for you, but..." She paused, then swallowed, and looked so briefly at Laura's lips that Laura wasn't convinced it actually happened.
"But what?" Laura's voice cracked a bit and her heart was pounding in her chest.
Carmilla looked her directly in eyes. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but then closed it and shook her head again. "It's nothing," she said.
"But what?" Laura repeated.
Carmilla stared at Laura, not speaking. How much time passed she couldn't know. It felt like forever as she watched Carmilla battle over what to say.
"You know, there are few people I really connect with. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have I'm not particularly close to," Carmilla began. "And then you came into my life and it was just there—this spark, first in the form of dislike," she said, smiling, "but then it became this genuine connection, and I really love being your friend. But," she said, taking a loud breath, "but there are so few people I really connect with, you know?" she said, repeating herself. "And try as I might—and I'm trying so hard—I'm drawn to you like a moth to a fucking flame. And I can't help but think that you and I are somehow fated in the stars or something." She laughed at herself, humorlessly. "God, I probably sound so stupid to you," she said.
Laura willed herself to say something because she knew, or thought she knew, where this conversation was headed and she needed Carmilla to understand.
"And I know you just want us to be friends," Carmilla continued, "but it's so hard being around you and not wanting to touch you or—"
Whatever Carmilla was going to say next was cut off by Laura's mouth. It wasn't pretty, this kiss. Laura knew as much, but she needed Carmilla to stop talking and she couldn't summon words to come out of her mouth, so this was Plan B. It was actually really awkward, the way she caught Carmilla's mouth, already partially open and for what felt like a long moment frozen against hers. But Laura was persistent—she didn't know what else to do and she figured Carmilla hadn't shoved her off yet, so she carried on.
And then suddenly everything changed. Everything got really good because Carmilla's mouth was now dancing with hers and her hands gripped onto Laura's arms, and Laura felt the effects of the reverberating throughout her body. It felt good; it felt right, but it didn't feel enough. Emboldened by Carmilla's reciprocation, Laura moved to deepen the kiss, moving her tongue smoothly into Carmilla's mouth until it found Carmilla's while her hands wove their way through Carmilla's hair, causing her hat to fall off. They kissed and it felt right. It felt like everything in Laura's life was leading up to this exact moment. She had never been more sure of herself.
And then, far too quickly, it was over. Carmilla had pushed her away, each fighting for breath.
"I'm sorry," Carmilla said. "I shouldn't have—"
"Don't you dare apologize," Laura interrupted." Don't you dare take this away from me," she added, a slight smirk on her lips this time.
Carmilla looked contrite but also confused.
"I kissed you, Carm. You have nothing to apologize for," she stated. "This may the greatest accomplishment in my life, kissing you. I can't have you taking credit for it."
"But I thought... You said..." Carmilla looked flushed. Confused, but flushed.
"I didn't know for sure until last night," Laura began. "It's been on my mind for a while, but it all made sense for me last night. You were talking to Sarah Jane and, I don't know, the way you smiled at her, I was so jealous—"
"You shouldn't have been," Carmilla said, shaking her head.
"That's hardly the point," Laura admitted. "The point is I was jealous. The thought of you with her—the thought of you with any girl—made me sick."
She paused to take a breath, and Carmilla's attention was focused solely on hers. "I don't have time for a relationship," she said as she watched Carmilla deflate. "But then who does, really? And I can't let the possibility of you vanish because I refuse to try to let it happen either. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I didn't give you and me a shot." She paused and took a breath. "Because you’re right. You and I could be great together."
Carmilla smiled started slowly on one side before breaking into a full-on grin. She nodded once, took a deep breath, and then nodded again. "So what now?" she asked.
Laura didn't answer. She just stared across at Carmilla, matching her smile. And then, without thinking too much about it, she leaned back in to resume their kissing because she was pretty sure that's the only thing she wanted to ever again anyway. She smiled when she realized Carmilla had started leaning in towards her as well. And when their lips met, as cliched as Laura knew it was, the world ceased to exist.
They kissed until the fire died down and Carmilla began to shiver. "I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you," she said with her forehead pressed against Laura's.
Laura laughed in that light, airy, disbelieving way that's somewhat close to scoff.
Carmilla silenced her with a short kiss then whispered, "It's true. And embarrassing. School girl crushes really cramp my style."
Laura really laughed this time and then asked, "You want to get out of here?"
The implication about what wasn't said but was explicitly implied did not slip Carmilla's notice. She raised her eyebrow asking a question, begging for confirmation. Laura nodded.
Carmilla stood and threw the smores supplies in the plastic bag they'd arrived in and tucked the blanket under her arm unfolded. "I can come back and clean the rest of this tomorrow," she said. "Your place?"
"Danny is out of town for the night," she answered in agreement, unable to hide the smirk on her face.
—-
They really didn't speak the entire drive back and they definitely had better things to do with their mouths when Laura unlocked her front door. Laura backed Carmilla through the living room towards her bedroom, each taking moments between explosive kisses to discard bits of clothing on the floor on their way, so that by the time Laura shoved Carmilla onto her bed, Carmilla wore only her bra and an unbuttoned pair of jeans. Laura's pants had not survived the short journey and her shirt was mostly unbuttoned except for one stubborn holdout. She really regretted wearing the thermal top underneath her flannel because that needed to go too.
The smiled shyly at each other in that short moment when their brains caught up to what was happening. It lasted as long as lightening and then Laura just grabbed both her shirts and pulled them over her head, button be damned, while Carmilla pushed down her pants just in time for Laura to join her on the bed, smiling as leaned in to find Carmilla's lips again.