Chapter Text
Hirose didn’t know what BL was until he accidentally picked up Nakamura’s Loveable Lunches during their first year. Even then, he didn’t try to get into the genre. It wasn’t his type of thing to read. He preferred shonen or some comic books from overseas like Marvel or DC. When he started getting closer to Nakamura, it was inevitable that he found himself in the BL section again and again.
At first, Nakamura was too embarrassed and refused to even look in the direction where his beloved manga awaited. Hirose, who didn’t really understand what the fuse was about, would drag Nakamura by the wrist every time they visited the bookstore until he finally understood that Hirose didn’t mind browsing the section while he waited for him to choose a manga.
Sometimes a cover art would catch his attention, and he would pick one up and read the first few pages before putting it back down. There was no real interest, maybe a flicker of curiosity, but it never went beyond that.
Now, however, he was dating someone who really loved the genre, and Hirose should know more about it, right?? It would make sense for him to know other BLs other than Loveable Lunches, right???
Wrong.
Hirose had not once tried to read one, and Nakamura never pushed him to do it. Of course he listened to his boyfriend talk about the newest volume of a manga he recently began reading, and of course he would ask a few questions because he was genuinely curious, but pick one up and actually dive into the world and its characters? Not once had he attempted to do so until recently and for good reason.
Hirose didn’t really like how Nakamura always got so happy around Kawamura, Hamaoka, and Okuda. He wasn’t so possessive as to prohibit Nakamura from having any friends. In fact, he was more than ecstatic as Nakamura opened up more and more over the years, and when he eventually got close to Oomori, Mukai, and even Takeuchi—despite their differences—Hirose had never felt so proud.
But it also meant Nakamura grew incredibly close to the girls.
Was it so bad that despite knowing Nakamura was both gay and taken—he was with him after all—he still very much despised how vibrant and energetic his boyfriend got when talking to them?? And he knew it was about BL!!! Nakamura would get the same way with him, but Hirose was never able to reciprocate the same kind of energy as his boyfriend when they talked about it. He knew surface level information.
The girls knew tier seven lore.
Hirose wasn’t a quitter, and he could get pretty competitive, and right now he was determined to understand everything about BL if it meant Nakamura would choose to talk about it with him instead of the girls.
He was in the BL section, and there were several mangas with different genres ranging from action, slice of life, isekai, to omegaverse—whatever that meant.
He saw some wrapped in plastic like the one Okuda gave to his boyfriend, and he tried to reach for it, but it was on the top shelf, and he didn’t want to be reminded how short he was.
He huffed and looked at the ones closest to him. Who knew there would be so many options!! Which BL was beginner friendly?
“Hirose?!”
Kawamura’s eyes widened the moment he looked over at her. He smiled and waved. “Oh, hey! Here to buy some?” He pointed to the books.
“Ye-Yeah.” She blushed and hesitated before slowly making her way over.
Kawamura was shy much like Nakamura, but the only real difference was she was able to engage in some kind of conversation while his boyfriend still struggled to start one without sounding too rude or awkward.
So, he was rather surprised when she browsed the mangas without saying much else.
He decided to break the silence. “Do you have any recommendations?” He chuckled when she sharply turned to him with wide eyes. “Okuto is really into BL, and I want to get to know it better, so I can keep up with him.” And he won’t have to hang out so much with you guys, he thought, but he chose to keep that to himself.
“Um…” Her eyes flickered over the shelves before reaching over to Loveable Lunches.
“No, not that one.” He flashed her an apologetic smile. “I know enough about it. Maybe something else?”
“Nakamura likes romance and slice of life.” He wasn’t sure if she was telling him or talking to herself because she wasn’t looking at him, but at the books. “He’s also really into the traditional seme and uke roles even if he says no.” She smiled, and Hirose’s eyes widened.
She reached over to grab a manga but stopped. “No, Nakamura isn’t really into fantasy. Modern…yeah, modern is good.” She stepped away from him, her eyes still trained on the mangas, but Hirose was now looking at her.
There was a light blush on her cheeks, and she was smiling. He’d seen the same one on his own face, and he was struck with a bolt of realization that—
“Oh! Nakamura likes the childhood friends to lovers trope.” She finally grabbed one and handed it to Hirose. “He’s read it before, but it’s one of his favorites. Loveable Lunches will always be his first pick, but this one holds second place.”
He stared at the manga she was holding, and he couldn’t quite process what she told him, because he could only think about the smile she had as she talked about his boyfriend.
“Hirose?”
He snapped out of his daze and quickly grabbed the book. He gave her a strained smile. “Thanks, Kawamura! I trust your judgement.”
“Of course, Hirose.”
They stayed facing each other. Hirose gripped the manga, and he saw Kawamura twiddle with her braid.
She finally looked away. “Nakamura really knows a lot about BL. Even for a veteran like me,” she laughed, “he still catches me off guard.”
“Right.” He took out his phone and maybe he purposely angled it in a way for her to see his lockscreen—a photo of him and Okuto up close with their cheeks pressed together and smiling at the camera—or maybe he didn’t, who knew, but he checked the time and gasped. “Sorry! I gotta go. I promised Okuto a study date at our favorite cafe.” And maybe he was being overly specific where he was going. “Thank you again, Kawamura!”
He smiled, this time a little more relaxed, and paid for the manga, safely placing it in his bag. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky as he walked.
“Kawamura likes Okuto?” he asked himself.
He couldn’t help the low heat of jealousy settling at the pit of his stomach.
݁˖❤︎ིྀ
Now that Hirose was aware of Kawamura’s feelings, he couldn’t help but pay attention to every single interaction she had with Nakamura.
During break, Nakamura quickly excused himself and went over to the girls, a grin already on his face, and they instantly hit it off with a conversation that had all four of them nearly bouncing on the heels of their feet. He instantly focused on Kawamura, and how she looked up at Nakamura with a light blush. She smiled at something he said and covered her mouth when she began to laugh.
During lectures, he watched from his seat in the back of the classroom as Kawamura occasionally glanced at his boyfriend, looked down at her notebook, before glancing at him again. He gripped his pencil tighter every time she did so, and he was almost tempted to do something rash and insanely out of character like shout at her to stop, but he reeled it in.
It wasn’t the first time he experienced jealousy. Nakamura didn’t understand just how attractive he was, and no matter how many times Hirose told him, his boyfriend never once believed it. It meant Nakamura didn’t notice all the looks he would receive in public when he wore clothes that complimented the way he looked, or the way the barista from the cafe would always put extra effort into making his coffee, or how the cashier at the bookstore would stare at him far longer than what was appropriate for someone whose sole job was to charge them books.
Nakamura was handsome, drop dead gorgeous, and he was everything people wanted.
And it seemed as if Kawamura shared the same opinion as well.
“Aiki?”
Hirose turned to Nakamura who was looking at him with furrowed brows.
He smiled. “What’s wrong, Okuto?”
He frowned. “You’re doing the thing.”
“What thing?”
“The one where you’re faking it.” He pointed to his mouth.
Hirose’s smile immediately fell. “Ah…you caught me!” He tried to laugh, but Nakamura kept staring at him.
It wasn’t a push to tell him what was wrong. It was a simple encouragement for Hirose to curse when he was angry, cry when he was upset, giggle over photos of baby animals, ask for pets and hugs and cuddles because he needed to feel a loving touch, but most importantly—
To sit in complete silence, knowing Nakamura was right there beside him, and would always, always be ready to listen when he was ready.
Nakamura was far kinder than what he gave himself credit for, and Hirose wished his boyfriend saw himself the way he saw him.
“I just…” He pushed his food around. He shrugged. He couldn’t tell his boyfriend he was extremely jealous of Kawamura. This time, he was choosing to stay silent and brew on his feelings a little more.
Nakamura scooted closer, pressing his shoulder against his, and said, “Okay.”
It was all Hirose needed to hear for him to put his head on his shoulder and close his eyes, feeling the sting of tears.
He really loved him.
݁˖❤︎ིྀ
Nakamura’s chores for the day required him to be outside, far from Hirose who was stuck in their classroom cleaning the black board. He kept glancing at the window, knowing his boyfriend was in perfect view, but their homeroom teacher had stopped by a few times already to check on their progress. He really didn’t want to get in trouble. It meant he wasn’t going to be able to spend time with Okuto which wouldn’t do.
The sound of knocking chairs made him turn, and Kawamura was holding a bucket and mop while staring at the desks she accidentally bumped into.
He was the closest to her, and despite feeling some sort of way about her, he couldn’t ignore that she needed help.
He put down the brushes and went to her side. “Don’t worry, Kawamura. I’ll help you.” He put the desks in the right place and picked up the chairs.
“Thank you, Hirose! I’m so sorry.” She was blushing, and she put down the things she was holding to help as well.
As they worked, Hirose noticed a bag had fallen with notebooks and pencils spread out over the floor. He easily reached over and started putting the things away when he noticed one of the notebooks was opened to a page.
He heard Kawamura gasp, and a panicked, “Don’t look—”
But it was too late.
He was holding the notebook and on the page were several sketches of…
Nakamura.
There was one of him sitting on his desk hunched over and writing. There was another one of Nakamura carrying boxes. Another was Nakamura walking. Another was Nakamura looking out the window. And—
There was a sketch of Nakamura and himself, walking hand in hand, but there was something different in the way Kawamura drew Nakamura. The shading looked as if each sharp stroke or blurred line was intentional and careful. The shape of his eyes looked like they were erased and redrawn, erased and redrawn, erased and redrawn, over and over until finally it looked perfect. His lips, nothing but simple lines, were made gently by a press of a pencil, and there was focus in the curve of his smile. The dusting of lead was the blush on his cheeks and sprinkled just the right amount to convey the flush of happiness.
Hirose had memorized the way Nakamura looked at him.
He never considered how his lovestruck gaze would look to others.
“He’s beautiful,” he whispered, lightly tracing the sketch.
“I’m sorry.”
When he finally tore his eyes away from it, he saw Kawamura close to tears.
“I promise I don’t like him anymore,” she said, voice low so others wouldn’t hear. “I used to in our first and second year even when I knew how much he loved you.” His heart skipped a beat. “Maybe I was silly.” She sniffed and wiped one of her eyes. “But Nakamura is…” She didn’t finish, and she didn’t have to.
He lightly laughed and looked back at the drawing. “I get it.”
“I still like to draw him,” she confessed. “I don’t mean to, but the moment I have a pencil and paper, I draw what comes easiest to me.”
He shakily sighed. What he meant to say was, “This is a really nice drawing of my boyfriend!”
What came out was:
“I’m really jealous.”
He saw her stiffen, and a part of him felt happy at her reaction, but the other…
“I think I’ll always be,” he continued. “I mean, look at him!” He pointed at one of her sketches. “Isn’t he amazing?!”
“I-I guess so…”
“And I can’t stop anyone from falling for him.” His cheeks flushed. He never really opened up to anyone else besides Nakamura. “But, I think if anyone has two sets of eyes and a brain, they can easily tell that he won’t look at anyone else except at me.”
She was silent for a beat or two before she grinned.
“I never expected you to be possessive.”
He spluttered and nearly dropped her notebook. “I am not!”
She laughed, and she looked a little less scared now. “I really don’t like him anymore,” she reassured once more. “He’s a great friend and, sure, sometimes I get a little sad he won’t ever be mine, but…” She stepped closer and pointed to a sketch at the bottom of the page, “I’m happy seeing him happy.”
He finally looked at what she was pointing at, and his eyes widened.
It was a sketch of them during lunch, and Hirose had his head on Nakamura’s shoulder with his eyes closed. What he failed to notice, Kawamura managed to capture on paper.
His boyfriend was looking at him, a small smile on his face, and his lunch pushed to the side. It wasn’t as detailed as the last drawing of them, but it was a moment he showed utter vulnerability, and Nakamura still looked at him the same way.
With love.
He didn’t realize he was sniffing until he heard himself.
“Man, how embarrassing,” he laughed and quickly wiped his eyes. He held out Kawamura’s notebook. “Thank you.”
She pushed it back to him. “It’s almost full and um…” She averted her gaze. “It’s all sketches of Nakamura, and some of both of you.”
He almost didn’t believe her until he started flipping the pages.
There was…there was a lot.
He couldn’t help but give her a look.
She turned red and shook her head. “I really, really promise I don’t feel anything!”
Her outburst caught the attention of the rest of their classmates, and Hirose played it off with a smile. “We’re talking about the latest episode of Cherry Rose!”
“I like that anime!”
“Have you watched it yet?”
“You have to! It’s so—”
He turned back to her, but before he could say anything, she explained, “It’s sketches starting from our first year.”
He thumbed through the pages. “Can I keep it?”
“Of course!” She smiled before it slowly fell. “Hirose? Are we—are we okay?”
He didn’t answer right away. The jealousy was there, and it would never go away, but he didn’t hate her.
“Yeah.” He smiled. “As long as I can keep this, we’re cool. And…” He flushed and scratched his warm cheek. “If you happen to draw anymore, can I have them?”
“Yes! Don’t worry about commissions.” He didn’t know what she meant, but before he could ask, Nakamura walked in.
“Aiki!” He turned to Kawamura. “Hey, Kawamura!” He got closer, and Hirose immediately noticed the way he did a double take between them, and the smile he was wearing slowly turned into a frown.
He wondered if he was as obvious as his boyfriend.
“What are you guys doing?” he asked, coming to stand next to him, and grabbed his hand.
His boyfriend was so silly! Didn’t he know Hirose was the one who was jealous!
“We were just talking about a BL I want to read,” he said. He safely tucked the notebook under his arm, and he hoped he managed to hide it from Nakamura’s eyes. He couldn’t let his boyfriend know about all the sketches Kawamura made of him, and Hirose’s intention of keeping it to himself—and future ones too.
As expected, Nakamura’s face burst into a dark red. “Oh-Oh, really? Um…” He looked at Kawamura with wide eyes. “Which one did you suggest to him?”
She looked between the two, and a grin formed on her face.
“I told him to read Nakamura and Hirose’s Everyday Life.”
No one said anything, and Hirose slowly turned to his boyfriend who went as still as a statue.
The smile on Hirose’s face hurt from how wide it was.
“Oh? Okuto, do you happen to have a copy?”
Nakamura turned so red, Hirose worried his head was going to explode.