Chapter Text
~ Will ~
He sat at the edge of the cliff, dangling his legs by the side. The water below was calm, in contrast to the usual stormy waters prone to Hawkins these past few years. The air was now less tense, less misty, and it was only now that Will realized just how much Vecna’s presence had affected the small town. Even the people they’d seen when driving back from the upside down had been more gleeful, a little less down than usual. Everyone but him.
So now what?
Mike seemed to still want to be friends with him, but it all still seemed a little too forced, Mike a little too hesitant around him still. They hadn’t really talked again after the cave, Mike opting to sit next to El instead. It was fine. They deserved each other.
Will took a breath that was a little too big, and began coughing violently. Something earlier in the day must’ve really messed him up. As he recoiled to sit back normally, he definitely didn’t miss the flower petals, dampened with spit, diving into the water below. He stared dumbly down at it with wide eyes. That couldn’t have come from me, right? He breathed deep again, on purpose this time, and held up his hand to watch whatever he was coughing up.
They were flower petals. Yellow ones, carnations, that Will’s mom had showed him years before.
He started to breathe a little more shallowly, a little quicker. How would that even work? It isn’t medically possible.
But it was still true, even if it wasn’t possible. He thought again about the earlier flowers, laying damp against the gritty, cold sand, the ones he’d been too quick to brush off. The way his lungs had felt weighed down all day, or at least since his confession.
Since my confession.
The two were connected, somehow. He was sure of that, just not how.
He sat alone by the edge for a little while longer, until Johnathan walked out of the tree line to meet him. Will was able to calm down a bit before, although he was still freaking out internally. He rested his hand reassuringly on Will’s shoulder, acting overly conscious of the fatal drop.
“You good? No one’s been able to find you for a while. Mom’s worried.”
“When is she not?” Will replied with a stout laugh, obviously avoiding the question. He wasn’t really sure how he was feeling, and didn’t have the strength to put it into words, not yet. Honestly, the water was looking pretty enticing at the moment. The flowers would probably kill him anyways, so he scooched back a little from the edge and turned up to face his brother. Jonathan looked exhausted still, but seemed less on-edge than usual. They all were.
John looked at him a little closer, seeming to find something wrong with his response. It was always freaky how he could just read Will’s thoughts all the time, and he prayed it wouldn’t work now, just this once.
“Hey. Seriously, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” Jonathan now had a strange determination burning in his eyes; Will knew it wouldn’t do anything. He wasn’t good at opening up.
“I know,” Will brushed John’s hand off his shoulder and turned away. He felt bad about pushing him away again, but it was just the way it had to be. No one would ever understand his problems completely. Sure, they would make an effort to understand, but no one had lived the same life as him. No one else he knew was gay.
The word still sounded dirty in his mind, and it probably always would. It was just wired into him to feel antsy when anyone talked about it, because it was so normal to be met with disgust. Ever since he was a kid, from Lonnie first, then bullies, then himself to his own reflection in the mirror.
And it made Will hate the word. Hate that he loved Mike, made him want so badly to detest Mike for being so kind, and loyal, and so easy to fall in love with over and over again.. But he just couldn’t. And he hated himself for it.
That just wasn’t something he could ever explain to his brother. He couldn’t burden his sweet, perceptive brother with all of the overwhelming feelings of hatred and love that made him look so longingly at death.
Johnathan stood, a little too fast to be considered normal, and took a breath before speaking again. “Look, I know you think I ‘won’t get it’ or whatever, but you can’t just bottle everything up all the time. It’s not healthy, and sometime soon you’ll snap. I can’t just stand by and watch you drive yourself crazy.”
Someday you’ll snap.
How much did he know? How many times had he seen Will sacrifice himself for no good reason, or caught glimpses of his much sadder resting face, or watched him give up everything he had to figure out why?
God, I hate how smart he is.
Will tried a small smile that splintered almost immediately, and instead just ignored his brother’s sharp gaze.
“Okay.” It was all Will could manage, and even then, his voice broke softly. He sounded so weak, even after everything he’d just faced. Even after killing a nearly-indestructible telekinetic monster, he couldn’t even face his brother.
John just scoffed and walked off. He was just finally fed up after years of failing to break down Will’s walls. It was bound to happen eventually. This is good. It’s what you wanted. It’s what’s best for him.
"I can't just stand by and watch you drive yourself crazy."
As much as he hated it, the words reminded him of Mike. Everything did. Even the blue waters, his colour.
Will moved a little closer to the edge.
The mystery sickness will get you soon, anyways.
~
“Will?”
Mike’s voice made him jump slightly; Will hadn’t really been expecting anyone else to look for him. And definitely not Mike. They hadn’t usually looked for each other specifically in a while.
“Hey,” Will called back from the water’s edge. For a minute, he wondered what Mike would think, seeing him so close to the drop. Hopefully not the same thing as Johnathan.
He wasn’t looking at Mike, but still heard him still for a moment. He slowly walked over to Will and sat next to him, dangling his legs too. He seemed a bit reluctant to be so near the steep cliff, but still tried to act casual.
“I heard you would be here. How are you doing?” That seemed to be a common question for him lately. And still came out pointed no matter who asked.
“Honestly?” Mike nodded jerkily. “A little lost, I guess. I mean, I spent years battling the supernatural, and now it’s all over. Not that I’ll miss being plagued with nightmares. Just… it’s gonna be weird just trying to be a regular high school kid again.” Not that I’ll be in high school for very much longer, if the flowers keep spreading.
“Yeah. I guess I get that. But we can do it together.” Mike’s small, comforting smile broke Will’s heart. He still wanted to be his friend. He still wanted to do things together. It could’ve been so perfect.
He’s just pretending. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He thinks you’re gross. He’s just pretending, for El. His girlfriend. To make her happy. Not for you.
Mike nudged his shoulder delicately, like he might break, and it was so embarrassing how the tiny touch still made Will’s face darken. “Will? Are you okay?” He’d been spacing out for too long again.
“I kinda just want to be alone right now, Mike.” Mike recoiled at that, like the words had physically hurt him.
“Will, you know I wasn't lying earlier, right? I’m still your best friend. Nothing can change that. No matter what you say.” Maybe he wasn’t lying.
“But that was different!” Will stood up suddenly, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. Mike just followed him. “That was too much. That changed everything.” He couldn’t bear to stare Mike in the eyes. His shoulders started to shake, gasping up short little breaths of air. Holding in his cough for this long was getting exhausting.
“That was the past! I don’t care about how you used to feel! I just need you to be my friend now!” Why is he trying so hard to act like it's normal? Like I’m not disgusting for ever thinking something like that about him?
Will opened his mouth to say something else, probably an argument, but couldn’t get any words out before he dropped to the dirt. Coughs shook through his body like tremors, making him useless. This time, a full carnation flew out from his throat. Stem and all, too crumpled to really tell what it was. Will glanced up to meet Mike’s horrified eyes. His entire face was twisted into a mask of fright, mouth hanging open and eyes wide.
“WILL!” He snapped into action a second later, kneeling down to support Will by the shoulder. Will was still gagging, less now, and Mike started to awkwardly pat his back, maybe to help him cough the stuff out.
Will finally regained his composure, face burning. “You good now?” He nodded, now trusting himself to talk just yet. Mike kept shooting him worried glances as Will tried to breathe normally again, not even caring to hide it. He definitely wasn’t helping Will’s red face.
“Was… was that, like, normal for you? The flowers, I mean.”
“No. It only started today. I don’t know why. Or how. It’s just really weird.”
“Does anyone else know?” He wanted to be the only one who knew. To be special to Will again. To hold his secrets.
“Uh, yeah. Just don’t tell my family. They’ll freak out.” Mike seemed a little disturbed by this.
“Will, I can’t just watch whatever this is kill you. I have to do something.” Will laughed a little, confusing Mike. “Something funny?”
“No, it’s just… you sound like Johnathan.”
“He’s right, then. You need to see a doctor, at least.”
“I will. Soon. I just need some time.”
“Okay,” he seemed to let out a breath at this, visibly calmer. “You know I couldn’t lose you, right?” It was too sweet and sincere, too overwhelmingly loving.
That made Will sick. How he had no idea what those words meant, not really. “I couldn’t lose you, either. I wouldn’t be able to go on,” Will wanted to say. But that would be too obvious. Too intimate. Even for them.
“I know.” He said, tracing shapes into the dirt.