Chapter Text
October 1919
Audrey howled as the pain consumed her. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced and she wasn't someone who'd led a sheltered life. She'd been smacked at school, been pinched by neighbour boys, handled a gun and dealt with the reverberation of wielding said weapon. She'd even been shot herself once but none of that stood against this. It was in her back mostly, a bit in her hips. Audrey clawed at Dorothy's shoulders and roared out.
"I don't think I can do this, in't it meant to be quicker than this?" She panted as the wave subsided. Dorothy pressed the cold flannel to Audrey's face.
"It's only been a couple hours. My neighbour said she was in labour for half a day, but my Harry only took a few hours."
"Half a day? Half a day! I can't do this for half a day, it's already 10. It's dark out. Where's Robert?" The questions flew out each one coming out more and more through gritted teeth. The pain returned and Audrey howled, her legs felt like giving out. She rested her head on Dorothy's shoulder.
"Robert went to the pub, said it would calm his nerves." Audrey's face dropped. She'd be lucky to see her husband at all until the morning then. He still had friends in the area he'd find someone's sofa to sleep on. He wasn't fond of loud noises. They dragged him back.
"I wish me Ma were here," Audrey whispered, Dorothy looked down at her and pushed her hair back behind her ear.
"I know, Aud. I wish she were here too but she in't so you've got me and I'm sure that Mrs Adamson from two doors down will be back soon with more water and towels. We'll see you through this, your very own village." Dorothy tried her best to reassure, she wasn't sure how much more help she could be. Seeing Audrey in this much pain and distress was breaking her heart. She hadn't know Flo Atkinson that well, only that she had succumbed to the Spanish flu shortly after the war had ended and everyone thought life would be normal again.
"Me Gran's book is in the bedside drawer, once Mrs Adamson gets here have a look through, maybe she knew of something t-to bring this o-on," Another wave of pain overwhelmed her body and her words became a struggle, she heard the door clattering. She let go of Dorothy and moved to grip the tall set of drawers that was within arms reach allowing Dorothy to check who had come in. She hoped it was Mrs Adamson.
Robert stood, swaying.
"It done yet?"
"No, it's not 'done yet'." Dorothy put her hands on her hips. Robert looked her up and down and clicked his tongue on his teeth. He went over to the window and looked out.
"Bad luck for a sprog to be born on Halloween," he nodded at the clock. Dorothy glared at him. Time was thundering ever closer to 11pm.
"Are you going to help?"
"How? What am I going to do? Do I look like a woman?" He whipped round and came at her.
"Your wife lost her mother 6 months ago Robert. You are her family the least you could bloody do is hold her hand."
"I don't want to see that, hear that. She's in pain-" his voice cracked and then another of Audrey's wails came through the walls. Robert dropped to his knees covering his ears. Dorothy watched him, Audrey wasn't wrong when she said something was wrong with him. Would her William have turned out like that had he lived longer? But she had nothing to offer Robert Hall.
"Dot? Who was at the door?"
"It were Robert."
"Rob-Robert!" She cried, hoisting herself to the door frame and clinging to it. She looked at him sobbing like a child on the floor. Audrey swallowed.
"Robert Hall. Get up, I need you, p—please" her voice got quiet and quivery. He looked up. Her hand was shaking as she tried to reach for him.
"I can't Audie, I can't know that you're hurting. I just can't." He scrambled to his feet and made for the door just as Mrs Adamson returned almost knocking her over. Audrey cried again and Dorothy took her outstretched hand, allowing her to squeeze through the labour pains.
"Please don't leave."
"Never." Dorothy rubbed Audrey's lower back with her free hand. Audrey's breathing was getting heavier and heavier. Mrs Adamson approached them.
"We dun't need 'im anyway. This is women's work. Dorothy, get her into bed and we can see how much we've left to go." Mrs Adamson nodded at the door to the bedroom. They managed between the two of them haul her into bed. The older woman, and mother of 9, lifted Audrey's night dress. She frowned.
"First births are usually slow. I'm sorry lass it'll be a while longer." Audrey screwed her eyes shut. She wanted this to be over, she couldn't stand all the wanting in her body. As a rule she tried not to want too much but this was so different to how she thought. She wanted her Ma, she wanted her husband to be sober and kind, she wanted to take away his pain, she wanted to have spent the last 6 months knitting with her Ma swapping stories, making sure the bairn's wardrobe wanted for nothing but all she had was Robert and Dorothy, and a pitiful stack of 6 items for baby to wear. Mrs Adamson was nice, lovely woman truly, and if Audrey squinted she looked like a bit like her Ma but it weren't enough. Audrey had never felt so vulnerable.
The minutes ticked on, the 30th became the 31st. The pain in Audrey's body changed; instead of it feeling settled in her back and hips, clenching in and out. It had started to burn, to wrap around her middle, coil inside her nether regions and down her legs like thick heavy rope, twisting and twisting and burning. This was meant to be the miracle of life. Audrey started to pray, for her mother, for her husband, for her child whom she long suspected was a boy.
"It's burning," Audrey barely recognised her own voice. Had she had better grip of faculties she'd have seen the change in Mrs Adamson's face. To her left she was vaguely aware of Dorothy telling her something but she couldn't work out what. There was an almighty pressure now between her legs. She pushed. Audrey had no idea what muscles she was controlling, they must have a name, but something was moving down there.
The room was hot, and spinning. Audrey took deep breaths, maybe she had gone to hell for not being able to help Robert or her Ma, for not fighting hard enough during the war, for working too much during her pregnancy. Was this her eternal punishment? To never meet her son, to never see her Ma again. To leave Dorothy alone with little Harry. She pushed again, and again, a new burst of white hot pain up her back and down her thighs. With one final roar she felt her child leave her body.
Silence fell and somehow it was worse. Audrey tried to lift her head but it was like being on a boat again. For a second she could have sworn she heard gunfire, she cried out.
"C'mon now lad, none of that messing about." Mrs Adamson was saying, she heard a hand on skin smacking hard. Dorothy whimpered covering her mouth with her hand, tears in her eyes.
"Do-"
"Shhh, it's okay. It'll be over soon." Dorothy's wiped her brow with a flannel. Audrey felt she was going to vomit and she knew that she might choke on her back. With all the energy she had left she turned her head and pulled on the side of the mattress.
"Oh, Aud, quick here's a bowl. Let it all out," Dorothy stroked her back but it was still too quiet.
"Waahh!" Finally. Audrey felt the ground shifting. That was that, she was a mother. Dorothy wiped at her mouth with a towel, she was still swaying a bit in Audrey's vision but Mrs Adamson was encouraging her back to the middle of the bed.
The baby, her son, looked like a scrunched up walnut. Wrinkly and covered in blood and white gunk. She tried to lift her arm to wipe it away but they were so heavy.
"Ed—Edward, stop your crying my boy. I've got you." Her voice was slurred, her breathing heavy. Her eyelids were so heavy.
"Aud? Audrey!"
When Audrey came to she wasn't in her room.
"Edward." Her mouth was dry and she felt like her teeth hadn't been brushed in weeks.
"After me dad?"
"Said it important."
"I've just been calling him Lad," Robert grumbled, looking down at his son in his arms.
"Where?"
"In hospital. There was so much blood and you—no more kids Audie." He pointed his finger at her, "I'm not riskin' that again, bloody hospital bill's enough to worry about." He grumbled. She did her best to nod but her head still felt a little heavy. Robert stood and handed her the baby wrapped in a sweet yellow blanket. Audrey sighed, as she looked at Edward who was looking a lot cleaner than he had the first time she'd seem him, she couldn't bare the thought of ever being away from him again. Her eyes filled with tears.
"Has he been alright? How long have I been out? I've so many questions Robert."
"I've been working but he's been here and I've popped by after work. Dorothy and Mrs Adamson came, my Ma too. The doctors worry, he hasn't cried much. Ma tried pinching his toes, but he didn't seem to mind. Maybe summat's wrong wi' his brain but he'll do and so will you." Robert's hand was rough as he stroked the back of her head and kissed her crown. A small smile graced her lips, she was glad Edward hadn't been alone but there were now so many new things to worry about. Edward started to wiggle in her arms and his eyes blinked open. His head moved side to side as he tried to make sense of her face, did he know who she was, did he remember? He was silent, blinking.
"Right then Edward, here I am. Your Ma."
July 1982
Audrey entered the village hall on Tris and JJ's arms, Joanie and the rest of the Darrowby contingency not far behind them. Edward bounded over with a panicked look on his face.
"Where's Siegfried?"
"Siegfried still isn't right. He cannot shake this flu. Kept me up half the night with his coughing." Audrey explained as she removed her body warmer and handed it to JJ who reached up flicked Tristan's hat off his head before making an escape to the coat hooks.
"Cheeky g-," Tristan shook his head before turning his attention back to Edward. He reached forward and shook his hand. "You know what Siegfried is like, stubborn old goat. Refusing to let Rosie get a look at him but still has the audacity to whine that he can't come to the party today." The group murmured with agreement.
"It's not like Auntie Rosie is one of those horrible doctors either, he locked the door last time she tried to get in the house." Joanie said. James and Helen rolled their eyes.
"It's ridiculous is what it is, causing all this worry because he wants to be 20 again," Helen stepped forward to greet Edward and waved towards Betty across the room.
"Well, just let me know if you need me to come over tomorrow and help you drag him over to her practice. Betty and I were delighted to here that she'd been able to move into the cottage."
"Ha, good luck with that one, son. You know I love Siegfried, to the ends of the Earth, but getting that man to see any doctor, nevermind Rosie, well it's like trying to make pigs fly."
"Well you never know, what with our Mary and your Jim being the brains of the veterinary world these days." He said nodding at James and Helen. Audrey smiled. Edward was never shy about bragging about his daughter. The first in the family to go to University and while he hadn't been thrilled at the prospect of Siegfried, and herself, pitching in the bulk of her tuition fees he had eventually accepted it and even admitted it was nice to have a man like Siegfried willing to support his family to the ends of the Earth and back again, and it only took him 18 years to properly relax into it.
"Aye, they keep Skeldale right. " James nodded.
"Yes, yes, very glad to have them in the business. Now then, any chance of some cake?" He rubbed his hands together. Mary joined her father by the door wearing a rather loud purple dress and matching blazer.
"Birthday boy isn't even here yet, you banana."
"Well somebody wanted the day off so I've been hard at work all morning, which builds an appetite." Tristan patted his stomach.
"Hard at work? You sat doing paper work all morning Tristan," Charlotte slipped in behind her husband having finally found a parking space for the car. She waved to Edward and kissed Mary's cheek.
"Paperwork takes more effort from some more than others," Audrey winked at Joanie, who giggled.
"Aye, we all know some brains are simpler than others." Mary gave him a pointed look. Audrey wrapped an arm around Mary's waist and and they walked away together. Tristan shook his head and blew out a long breath.
"Think I prefer the days when she didn't know any words and blew bubbles in her milk." Edward snorted a laugh.
"I agree. Can't believe how old she is now. Betty and I were saying last night, 2 year ago we celebrated your Jim's 40th and now Paul's 30th and 2 more years it'll be Mary's 40th. Where's the time gone, eh?"
"Oh I know, Ed, one minute I were looking down at Jimmy the next I were craning me neck to catch a glimpse of Jim's eyes. That one'll be 18 in 2 year and all," Helen agreed, nodding at Joanie who seemed most unconcerned with the passage of time. They meandered over to the drinks table that Betty was standing behind. Hellos were exchanged within the group.
"Jim and Ellie, Rosie, and Siegfried all send their apologies, Betty." Tristan kissed her cheek.
"That's not a bother. I heard him in the background last week, surprised he hasn't coughed his whole blooming lung up yet." They had had a chuckle.
Across the hall, Mary and Audrey stood arm in arm people watching. Audrey had to admit she didn't know as many folk as she thought she might. Tristan's girls were all over Europe for the summer holidays but she remembered Paul had said something about birthday cards being sent, including some hand printed ones from their littlest Farnons.
"How are you coping Gran?"
"Me? I'm fine. You know what your Grandy is like. But, I am concerned. You heard them, he's practically tried to ban our Rosie from the house. I said to him, what's she going to do examine you in your sleep?"
"Ridiculous creature. I'll talk to him again. I'll even start crying if I have to, 90 year old men with the flu should follow professional advice." Mary said with a firm tone and nod of her head. Audrey looked at her fondly. She had Siegfried wrapped around her finger from the moment they met.
"Now, how are things with the lad you went on a date with?"
"Oh, Simon? Bit of waste to be honest Gran. When I told him I was a vet he actually scoffed and I thought; are we teenagers? Have I suddenly re-entered the 60s?" Mary explained. She hadn't been particularly lucky in the love department. Which hurt more than she cared to admit, she'd grown up with such wonderful examples of love but had yet to find that for herself.
Across the hall, Edward tapped his watch and motioned at the lights. Untangling herself from Audrey, Mary rushed to the lights while Audrey joined the rest of the group.
The hall was plunged into darkness. Mary grabbed a hat, a badge and a party popper. The door opened and her brothers walked in. She blew the popper and flipped on the lights.
"SURPRISE!"
Mary forced the hat onto Paul's head and Christopher grabbed the badge and pinned it to his lapel.
"You've reached your dirty thirties!" He riled at him.
"Practically ancient now, little brother." Mary joined in tugging at Paul's ear.
"Oi, get off you pillocks." He swotted at them and was welcomed into the throng of folk waiting to celebrate his birthday. His Ma hugged and kissed him, his dad shook his hand and clapped the other onto his back.
"Happy birthday, my boy." He said softly. Paul smiled at his dad.
"No hug for your gran?"
"Saving the best till last is all." He gave her a cheeky grin and wrapped her up. Chris wasn't too far away.
"Hold that pose will ya!" He yelled rushing to get the camera out. Audrey and Paul posed, then Mary joined them, then Tris, JJ and Joanie with their tongues out. Paul's mates knelt down in front of them and yelled WANKER instead of the customary CHEESE. All of them subsequently got clips round the ear.
"Not in front of me flippin Gran, toss pots." Paul got dragged over to the drinks table.
"At least they're having fun," Audrey just laughed, as Edward offered his arm to her.
"I'm sure you heard worse in the navy anyway." He winked at her.
The party was a resounding success. Paul and his mates managed to finagle some music through a boombox and encouraged everyone to have a dance. Tristan was straight onto the dance floor with Charlotte much to James' horror. He shook his head at Helen when she started looking interested in joining.
"I can barely get my head around a foxtrot let alone a," he motioned at the frankly wild shapes being thrown around by Tristan, Charlotte and the youngsters. Audrey couldn't help but laugh. She nursed her punch quietly as she watched them all. Edward had a dance with all of his children and when his breath finally gave out he sought peace by his Ma's side.
"Are you sure you'll be okay with us going to Wales next week?" Audrey looked at him, eyebrows raised.
"Of course you can, don't need my permission, son."
"No, I mean with Siegfried being ill."
"Oh, pish, I can handle Siegfried been doing so for nearly 50 years. Go, have fun with Betty's lot. Surprised you were able to get somewhere in August though, would've thought everywhere would be charging through the nose." She dismissed him then brought the subject to something else. Edward let it drop.
"Aye, well, the owner went to school with her dad so he gave us a good deal. I will have a word with him when we get back though, silly business to ignore doctors."
"Oh, don't you worry, he'll see a doctor soon enough. Rosie or otherwise, Tris and I've still a few tricks up our sleeves yet," she tapped her nose and winked. They sat at the table for a little longer, happily watching their family. There had yet to be any Hall great grandchildren but there was still plenty time for all that business and with the Herriots and Farnons life was always filled with someone to have your back.
"Right, I think that's me for the afternoon," Audrey clapped then rubbed her hands together before standing up. Edward followed suite and they walked to the coat hooks together.
"I'll drive you home, Ma."
"Oh, no you stay here with your lot. I'll get the bus," she smiled as he held out her body warmer for her to put on.
"No, I'd like to drive you home, please. Being on a bus at—"
"I swear if you say my age. I am perfectly blooming healthy, and capable of getting on a bus for 20 minutes. I've no plans to keel over just yet." She said firmly, then kissed his cheek.
"Fine, fine, but bare in mind that bus back to Darrowby is a right boneshaker and with your hip," his words made way for a concerned look.
"My hip, indeed. My hip is doing just fine, better since the surgery," they walked to the door, "but if driving me is that important you can do it when you come back from Wales. Siegfried and I will treat you to afternoon tea, so you can drive to pick us up and then drive us all the way back home again too. How's that?"
"It'll do, I suppose. See you then, then." He kissed her cheek and waved to her as she walked down the street towards the bus stop. He sighed, she was just as stubborn as her bloody husband sometimes.