Chapter Text
When Tom opened his eyes, he had to blink them a few times to be sure of what he was seeing.
Mary was sitting up in her bed, the sunlight that streamed through her windows creating a golden haze behind her that gave her the appearance of a celestial glow. She was looking at him with such a poignant combination of affection and uncertainty that he couldn’t help but rush around the bed to her side. He took the chair in which Mrs Gardiner had sat as she’d tended to Mary throughout the worst of the fever and seized her hand, holding it to his lips and placing a lingering kiss on the back of her knuckles.
“I will struggle to convey the force of my relief and joy at finding you awake, Miss Bennet,” Tom declared, his eyes roaming eagerly over her face. “And looking so remarkably well.”
She blinked at him.
Tom let go of her hand and immediately busied himself pouring her a glass of water. “Here, you must drink something.”
Mary took it gratefully but her eyes did not leave his as she drank.
“You are here,” she said quietly as he took the glass from her and set it carefully on the bedside table. “And I think you have perhaps been here for some time. I have vague recollections of catching glimpses of you in the hall outside my door.”
“I could not conceive of being anywhere else, Mary,” he said hurriedly. “Though I will understand if you want me to go. I have treated you very unfairly.”
“No, Mr Hayward,” she insisted. “It is I who have treated you unfairly. I should have listened to your wise counsel on the mountain. We should have descended at the guide’s instruction as you suggested.”
Tom hung his head. “Why should you have listened to me when I had proven myself the most inconstant of companions? I have much to say on the matter, Mary, when you feel well enough to hear it.”
Mary pushed herself back on her hands so that she leant against the headboard. Without thinking, Tom reached across her and grasped another pillow to tuck behind her back and make her more comfortable.
He sat back in his chair to find her watching him warily and realised he had taken yet another liberty.
“Please, Mr Hayward,” she said earnestly, “please say it now. I don’t think I shall feel quite easy until I understand what transpired between us.”
Tom nodded, sucking in a deep breath and forcing himself to meet her eye. “I love you, Mary.”
Her eyes widened.
“Though I know, to my shame, I have not remotely behaved as a lover should. I should have told you I loved you on the summit and I should have declared it firmly to Ryder when he sought to interrupt us. You were correct that I was on the cusp of proposing marriage to you and I want you to know, Mary, that I still very much intend to do so, but I must explain why you saw me shrink back, despite all those empty assertions that I would be brave.”
For something to do, he refilled Mary’s glass and handed it to her.
“And this is where my proposal is about to become even more unusual.”
“More unusual than your bride having a near-death experience between you asking the question and her acceptance?” she asked, smiling.
Tom found himself struggling to draw breath at the declaration she’d boldly infused into her question. “So unusual, in fact, that I am going to ask the woman I want to marry to take into account the hopes of another suitor alongside my own.”
Mary’s brow furrowed.
“I have promised that I will do him justice and advance his cause to the best of my ability.”
“Mr Ryder?” she asked incredulously. “He asked you to propose to me on his behalf?”
Tom held up his hands. “He has had to accompany Miss Bingley on her return to London. He was devastated to have to leave you.” He huffed out a sigh. “Perhaps I should unfold this tale from the beginning.”
“Perhaps you should, Mr Hayward.”
“As you know, you and I stood at the summit and I asked if we could continue our conversation from the boat. I was, of course, working up to asking you if you would do me the very great honour of becoming my wife.”
Mary smiled and opened her mouth to reply.
He so wanted to hear the answer she looked very ready to give. “Please, Mary, wait until you have heard the rest.”
She closed her mouth again, frowning a little.
“As you know, Ryder interrupted us with the insistence that he had a legal matter to discuss with me. Though I cannot divulge the details, I am at liberty to tell you that he has had some considerable good fortune. Whatever you might have imagined his monetary worth to be before, it now vastly exceeds that amount. I imagine his wealth would now rival that of Mr Darcy himself.”
Mary took in this information without reaction, waiting patiently for him to continue.
“Along with that great wealth, I must inform you, if it wasn’t already apparent, Mary, that, like myself, Ryder also finds himself in love with you.”
She every so slightly raised a single eyebrow.
“So in love with you, in fact, that along with the news of his greatly enhanced material wealth, he informed me on the summit that he himself planned to make you an offer of marriage that very afternoon.”
He looked down at his boots. “Of what happened next, Mary, I am not proud.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. “On the strength of what he had shared with me, I decided to withdraw my suit.”
At this, Mary’s face fell.
“I measured my chance of securing you against Ryder’s advantages and decided that he would be able to provide you with a better life than I ever could.” He looked back at his boots. “I gave him my blessing to propose to you.”
“Ah,” she said sadly, “I see.”
“But, though I cannot say I am grateful for the storm, or for our late departure from the summit, or for the terrible toll it took on your health particularly, that force of nature at least had the power to jolt me out of my utter, relentless stupidity.”
At this, the smile returned to Mary’s face.
“I realised that I love you too much to walk away from you, Mary, not without knowing you have specifically chosen against me. And so, after I carried you here and left you in the care of Mrs Gardiner, I marched directly to Ryder’s room to tell him so. I told him that, though I had left him with the belief that he was free to propose to you without obstacle, I intended to make an obstacle of myself.”
Mary laughed lightly.
“So you shall have to choose, Mary, and I told him I would ask you to defer your decision until you have had the chance to hear from Mr Ryder in person. Two men are in love with you and I truly believe each of us to be as sincere in our love for you as the other. Two men earnestly seek to secure you as their bride. One man can give you everything your heart might desire – a huge estate, travel, an extensive household staff, fashionable clothing, along with all his wit and charm and easy manners – in short, a life of leisure. The other man can only offer you a comfortable but relatively humble existence in comparison – a home in London, the hope of building a family one day, meaningful conversation and learning together, plus all of his love and devotion – but tempered with the ongoing responsibilities of his work as a barrister.”
“Remember how you asked me on Scafell, what my mother would say if she could see me now?” asked Mary, her eyes twinkling. “I suspect this moment would bring her far greater surprise and delight.” She shook her head. “Who would ever have thought Mary Bennet would find herself even a single suitor, let alone two?”
Tom looked at her in some surprise. “Why do you ask the question in that way, Mary? It is no great shock to me to find myself competing with another for your hand. The only surprise, I suppose, is that there are not more of us in the running.”
At this Mary laughed out loud. “More suitors? You do not think two is more than enough?”
Tom smiled helplessly. “I can only count myself fortunate that no more gentlemen have had the opportunity to know you as Ryder and I have. For if they had found themselves blessed as we have been, I might be here listing off the advantages of scores of us and then where would I be?”
“You may be amused to find that Mr Hurst’s bountiful instruction about horseracing springs to mind, Mr Hayward,” she replied, “but all my life I had imagined myself safely among the spectators, only to discover I am suddenly, somehow, the cup.”
Tom laughed but then found himself nodding earnestly. “You are indeed the cup, Mary, and a highly coveted one at that.”
“You did not know me as a young girl, but you were my first acquaintance in London outside of my family. You must recall how plain and uninteresting and dull I was when we first met. And though I hope I have improved, I cannot imagine I have changed all that much.”
“Mary,” he said, astonished, “you are describing a woman I have never met! From our very first meeting I greatly admired you, from our second I was in love with you. And Ryder’s fascination with you, I believe, had a similarly rapid trajectory.”
“How can this be?” she asked, seemingly genuinely at a loss. “Who am I that I might unwittingly have had such an effect?”
“You are Mary Bennet,” Tom replied simply. “The kindest, sweetest, loveliest Mary Bennet. The most well informed, the most highly attuned, the most profoundly intelligent Mary Bennet. The most beautiful, most highly prized, most dearly coveted Mary Bennet.”
“To return to my horseracing metaphor a moment–” She gave him a fond little smile. “One rider is exerting himself very admirably, Mr Hayward, but I rather think he is racing for second place. Also, though I find it all baffling, judging by his ongoing flood of compliments to me, I do not believe the winner is at all aware that he has won.”
Tom swallowed, unable to look away from her sparkling green eyes.
Mary tilted her head. “You aren’t really going to make me wait to hear Mr Ryder out before I accept you, are you Tom?”
“Mary–” he sputtered. “ Do you–? Are you–?”
She reached out a hand and tentatively touched his face. He couldn’t help but lean into the contact.
“Am I telling you, without hesitation, that of course I love you and of course I choose you?” she said softly, trailing her finger tips along the line of his jaw. “Yes, I am. Not even an actual castle with an extensive library could have swayed me otherwise.”
“You’re sure?” he asked, reaching up to cover her hand against his cheek with his own and then gently bringing it to his lips. “Not even the library?”
“I do not love him,” said Mary simply, watching fondly as he kissed her hand. “I only love you, Tom. I have only ever loved you.”
Tom released her hand and pulled his chair even closer to the bed. With trembling fingers he reached out to stroke her hair, to gently tuck it behind her ear, leaning his forehead against hers. He felt more than saw Mary’s smile as he captured her lips with his own, the sensation both a homecoming and a lightning strike.
If conversing with Mary Bennet was a delight he most ardently hoped to secure for his everyday experience, kissing her was like inviting pure, life-giving sunshine. She met him eagerly, even hungrily, drawing her legs up under her on the bed, turning more fully towards him and sliding her arms around his neck so she could kiss him more thoroughly.
She let out a breathy little sound of wanting that had Tom scooping her firmly against his chest, almost pulling her into his lap.
It was into the very midst of these many wonderful, life-changing discoveries that Mr and Mrs Gardiner made their sudden arrival.
The pair of them shot apart, chests heaving. Mary clambered back under the covers and Tom staggered to his feet. He glanced down to see her pink cheeks and mussed hair, imagining himself to look similarly undone.
He reached for Mary’s hand, holding it tightly in his. When she glanced up at him anxiously, he smiled down at her and gave it a comforting squeeze.
“You are looking remarkably well this morning, Mary,” said Mrs Gardiner, smiling wryly.
“And you, Tom,” said Mr Gardiner, grinning, “quite the picture of health.”
One glance at the smiling faces of their friends communicated that they had nothing to fear.
“Mary has agreed to be my wife,” declared Tom proudly, “and you should certainly both beware, for I imagine I shall shortly explode with the happiness of it all.”
Mary’s immediate bright burst of laughter only served to make him prouder still.
“While I note your word of warning, Tom, I suspect we shall not be able to leave you two quite as alone as we did this morning,” said Mrs Gardiner, apologetically. “You were both so fast asleep when I slipped off to bed myself for a few hours. We never dreamed you’d be requiring a chaperone.”
“I am as surprised as you are,” Tom replied. “But the surprise is a truly lovely one.”
“It is indeed, and we must celebrate it thoroughly in time,” said Mr Gardiner firmly. “However, I think for the moment, everyone’s highest priority must be rest. We cannot have Mary over-exerting herself and none of us have slept particularly well the last few nights.” He turned to his wife. “Especially you, my dear.”
“I do feel like I could sleep for a week,” she agreed.
“Can we trouble the two of you to be parted from one another?” asked Mr Gardiner. “Just for a short time until we are all well-rested enough to celebrate your engagement and resume all the pleasantness of our Lakes holiday?”
In full view of her chaperones, neither of whom batted an eyelid, Tom leaned down to press a tender kiss to Mary’s forehead. “We will rest,” he said. “And when you feel ready, please send someone to fetch me.”
Mary nodded, smiling up at him. “I will.”
“I have told Mr Ryder I will keep him abreast of your recovery. Shall I inform him of the other development?” he asked.
Mr and Mrs Gardiner exchanged a glance.
“If you would, Tom,” she said, smiling. “Make it clear he need not come to see me. There’s nothing to be gained by it.”
Tom grinned at her. “I shall try not to take too much relish in the undertaking.”
–
The next morning Tom had awoken after the longest and most refreshing night’s sleep he could remember experiencing. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Mary Bennet was going to be his wife.
He was just finishing tying his neckcloth when there was a knock at his door. He opened it to find Mr Gardiner standing there, a distinct twinkle in his eye.
“Mary mentioned she feels well enough to come down for breakfast,” he announced as Tom gestured for him to enter.
“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” Tom replied warmly as he pulled on his coat, the day suddenly looking even brighter.
“However,” said Mr Gardiner, “my wife is quite concerned about her on the stairs. She suggested that perhaps Mary might need you to carry her down to the parlour.”
Having had one terrifying experience of carrying Mary upstairs after her collapse in the storm, Tom found himself quite eager to re-write those memories on the descent. He followed cheerfully after Mr Gardiner, just managing to stop himself from whistling on the way.
He was surprised to find Mary on her feet, fully dressed and looking not only the picture of health, but also exasperated at Mrs Gardiner.
“This is so unnecessary, Aunt,” she was saying, until she turned to see Tom.
His heart gave a happy little lurch to see the way her smile at the sight of him washed away all her previous irritation.
“Tom,” she said warmly. “It would seem I am utterly helpless this morning.”
He drew near enough for her to hear him whisper. “Please don’t talk her out of this,” he said. “I shall enjoy myself immensely.”
Mary gave him the smile he loved, the one where she seemed to think she was hiding it.
“We cannot have you over-exerting yourself, Mary,” he said in fond sternness. “I quite agree with Mrs Gardiner.”
He turned to the older couple. “Mr Gardiner, could you take the stairs down ahead of us and ensure we’ll find no obstacles? And perhaps, Mrs Gardiner, could you please go and select a table for us where Mary can best enjoy the view of the garden, given that we won’t want her to have to move about too much as the day wears on?”
Mrs Gardiner beamed at him and patted his arm before turning to her husband. “I appreciate that someone is taking my concerns for Mary seriously,” she said archly.
Mr Gardiner levelled Tom with a steady but mostly amused look before silently doing as he’d been told, closely followed by his wife after one last concerned glance over her shoulder at Mary.
The minute they had left, Tom wrapped his arms around his beloved and took the opportunity to kiss her thoroughly.
When they somewhat breathlessly surfaced, Tom rested his forehead against hers and whispered, “I hope you don’t mind, Mary. I intend to make the most of every opportunity to be near you.”
Mary gazed up at him, her cheeks prettily pink and her eyes wide. “Tom, I find I do not mind at all.”
“Ready?” he asked.
She smiled. “Ready,” she agreed.
He lifted her as easily as he might playfully lift one of the Gardiner children but his bride to be nestled into his embrace in a very pleasing way, keeping her bright eyes on his face, and occasionally letting them wander down to admire the column of his throat as he carried her out of the room.
“You carry me as if it is no effort,” she observed. “As if I weigh nothing at all.”
Tom smiled, receiving this observation as if she had just compared him to Hercules himself. “You are a very pleasant passenger, Mary,” he replied. “And I shall relish the opportunity to carry you from place to place in our home when we are married.”
She laughed and the vibration of it against his chest felt very pleasing indeed. “What kind of excuse shall you find for that in our day-to-day life, Tom? I do not intend to be caught in any more rainstorms on mountains.”
He looked down at her fondly. “Perhaps you shall fall asleep preparing your lessons in our study, Mary, or nod off with a book of poetry in our sitting room, or drink one too many glasses of sherry after dinner. I am declaring now that I am obviously qualified and shall be very willing to carry you up to bed.”
Their thoughts moved simultaneously to a white expanse of soft linen that they would very soon share and Mary’s cheeks flushed an even prettier shade of pink.
“I shall look forward to taking you up on that, Tom,” she said warmly.
“Alright, love,” he said, steadying his voice as they reached the landing. “I now have to navigate the stairs your aunt was so nervous about. I request that we pause this somewhat tantalising discussion of what our future holds so that I shall not trip and drop you on the descent.”
Mary’s musical laugh filled him with joy.
“Hold on to me a bit tighter?” Tom requested hopefully, and Mary affectionately complied.