Chapter Text
I was really worried about playing against Argentina. We were going to play against Messi, which was a dream for most of us. We expected it to be a tough match.. I do not think anyone expected what happened that day.
Everyone was really upset after the game both the fans and us. We worked hard and worried so much and it all seemed pointless because of corruption not because of how we actually played.
I went over to Mostafa, who was sitting on the floor looking really miserable. Before I could tell him to get up and give him my hand he stood up bumped into me a bit hard and walked past without saying anything. That was not okay. I knew everyone was not in their best mood. Everyone was busy blaming themselves so I did not think much about it.
I looked around. Saw that some players looked depressed while others were holding back tears. Salah was trying to calm them down so they would not attack the referee, who was still giving out cards even though the game was over. Zico was doing an interview about how unfair the match was. I was surprised to see him crying. I almost went to stop him before he said something he would regret. Then I saw some Argentina fans holding the Israeli flag. Without thinking I raised my finger. I of regretted it right after but at this point I did not really care.
We all eventually went to the locker room after Salah told us to. There was no use crying about it; the match had been decided from the start. Once we were dressed I tried talking to Mostafa but he just ignored me. I knew he closed off when he was mad so I hoped he would come around once he calmed down.
The rest of the way to the hotel was a blur. We met the fans on the way and their chants did a lot to lift our spirits.. The feeling of losing when it was completely out of our hands was the worst especially since we were so close. I did not think we would get a rematch though since it seemed rigged.
When we got to the hotel everyone split up. Some went to shower some went to wander around to let off steam. Some just went to their rooms. I chose to go to my room.
As I entered my shared room with Salah I found him there. I had been hoping to be alone so I could blame myself for not doing enough but that was not going to happen. When I closed the door behind me I noticed Salah was wiping his eyes quickly like he was trying to hide that he was sad.
"Hi " I said, trying not to make things more awkward than they already were.
"Hi " he replied, trying to act like he had not just been crying.
"Look you can cry " I said, trying to comfort him. "The whole match was rigged,. It is not like anyone will blame you. You are the captain. You are still human. I will probably start crying myself in a minutes."
He chuckled,. It was a sad sound followed by a sniffle. "Thanks " he said. ". If I find out anyone knew about this do not blame me for what I will do." We both laughed a bit before I collapsed onto my bed. Something told me the next few days were going to be tough.
The next few days were a blur. Between the flight home the press conferences and the thousands of fans screaming our names at the airport I felt like I was living in someone Life. Salah was everywhere holding the team together during those flights. He kept talking to the guys kept the mood from turning completely toxic and honestly he became the person I leaned on the most. We talked about everything: the pressure, the future, stuff that had nothing to do with football. It felt good to have someone like him someone.. Everything was still weird. We lost the game felt rigged. People were treating us like heroes. I guess they saw what we experienced that we did not lose because we played badly but because the referee had plans. That definitely helped with the tension. Every time I looked at Mostafa he was miles away.
He had not said than three words to me since the day of the match. He was isolating himself keeping his head down and his headphones on. When he did interact with the team it was not much. He was dismissive. I tried to give him space because I knew how he was spiraling. The silence was killing me.
One day I could not sleep so I decided to go to the gym to let off some steam. I saw Mostafa in the hallway near the gym looking at his phone with his jaw tight.
"Hey " I said, trying to keep my voice light. "You okay? You have been quiet lately."
He looked up his eyes hard. "I am fine. Busy." He tried to walk past me. I stepped in his way.
"Mostafa stop " I said. "I know you are struggling. So is everyone. You do not have to carry it by yourself."
He scoffed, dropping his bag on the floor with a thud. "You are one to talk " he said. "You seem to be doing fine.. Did you forget how to talk to anyone who is not Salah?"
I was taken aback. "What are you talking about?" I asked, not believing we were fighting about the thing again.
"Oh come on " he snapped, stepping closer. "Do not act dumb. I see you two always laughing and whispering. He is the captain he is great I get it. Maybe you realized you do not need me anymore. Maybe you found someone important to hang out with."
My blood started to boil. "Are you serious?" I asked. "Is that why you have been acting like this? Because I am friends with Salah? You cannot be serious."
"I am not acting like anything " Mostafa shouted, his voice echoing in the hallway. "I am just observing. You moved on fast. I thought maybe I meant something to you but clearly... I was a distraction while you waited for the big shot to notice you."
I pushed his shoulder frustrated. "You are so full of it " I said. "You are the one who pushed me away. I tried to talk to you I tried to give you space because I know you are hurting, just like we all are.. Instead of appreciating it you treat me like I do not exist and now you are going to blame me for talking to Salah and make up stuff about me cheating on you with him? He is the person who has not been acting like a ghost for the last week.. Am I not allowed to talk to other people now?"
Mostafa shoved me back not hard but enough to make me stumble against the wall. His face was flushed red his chest heaving. "I... That is not what I mean " he said, his voice breaking. " Course you can talk to other people. I just... Care about you.. Watching you act like everything is perfect with him while I am losing my mind... It is much.. I understand it is mainly my fault."
For a moment when I heard his voice breaking I stayed quiet staring at him noticing his eyes. Normally I would focus on that. In the heat of the moment I just wanted to get things off my chest. "Then say that " I yelled back stepping into his space. "Do not act like I do not care. Do not act like I chose him over you. I have been waiting for you to look at me to just say something, anything.. You just pushed me away."
We were breathing heavily staring at each other. The anger was still there. Beneath it the relief of finally saying it, out loud was hitting me like a truck. Mostafa reached out his hand gripping the back of my neck not to hurt me but to steady himself.
"I missed you " he whispered, his voice cracking. It was not an apology, not really. It was the truth.
I did not answer. This back and forth was not going anywhere. So I just grabbed his shirt. Pulled him in initiating the kiss myself.
It was not a kiss just like the first one we need to work on that one. The kiss was clumsy and desperate it was because we were frustrated for many days and we were scared that we had lost each other. We were bumping into each other trying to show that we were still there for each other. He pushed me against the wall his hands were trying to grab my waist he pulled me close that there was no space between us. I had my hands in his hair holding it tight I needed to feel him.
We stopped kissing for a moment we were gasping for air our foreheads were touching each other.
He said "You know if we want to do this we need to be more careful right? We cannot just keep kissing anytime especially with all the media attention."
I said "Yes" I did not know what to say. "We will make it work it will be easy try to think clearly and talk to me next time okay?" I said, I was half joking and half serious.
He said "Alright". He was laughing.
The corridor was quiet now it felt safe. I moved back a little to look into his eyes I saw how tired he was. I also saw the person I missed so much. I reached up and touched his hair my fingers stayed there for a moment it was more than a friendly touch.
We are partners we are teammates and we are more than that we do not have a name for it yet.. That is okay for now. We survived the times the frustration and the misunderstandings we did it again. If we can survive all that we can handle anything that comes our way next. We just stood there we were not, in a hurry we have our lives ahead of us.