Chapter Text
What have I done?
Has my faith blinded me so?
I hold the proof of my sacrilege of your love, the crimson-stained dagger.
What have I done to you?
What have I done to the only one I have ever loved?
I can only observe, the act I have committed out of worship to the God that now turns its back on me.
I watch your chest heaving painfully, fighting for air.
I watch the blood flow freely from your pure heart.
I believed in falsehood, didn't I?
How could I have done this?
How could I have done this to you, dear?
Rebirth was promised to me, mine and yours.
But this...
Isn't our God supposed to be graceful, kind?
Gentle and forgiving...
I failed you.
I failed us both.
This is my fault.
Why did I listen to Amarah?
Would he lie to me?
You strain for breath, I hear the low hiss of your lungs as you fight for oxygen.
You are terrified, aren't you?
Your eyes are blown wide, sad and scared.
Like a deer in the headlights.
And I, a coward, tremble.
What have I done?
I let out a muffled, painful scream.
The traitorous blade in my hand shakes, tumbling to the ground.
And the flowers soak up your beautiful, perfect blood.
They feed off the life burning out of you.
And I hate what I did.
Oh, what have I done to you?
You, the only one to lay eyes on me and love me as I am.
I was always the poisonous vine wrapping around a beautiful, dying flower.
Amarah always said your hourglass was running out quicker than anyone else's.
Flowers bloom and dry quick.
I try and avert my gaze.
And yet, you still try to look for my eyes.
My eyes fill with angry, confused tears.
What have I done?
Death wasn't supposed to be this way.
It wasn't supposed to be cruel.
I shouldn't have played with fate.
I will never see heaven.
You were good to me, and I went and destroyed the love you gave so freely.
"I love you."
I hear your faint, strained whisper.
A tear spills from my eye, when words never could spill from my mouth.
And I wish that you hated me.