Chapter Text
As Kris headed in the opposite direction of the host dressing rooms, Spamton rushed past them looking disoriented, muttering something to himself about his bowtie and what sounded like ‘how stupid can you be leaving it in your dressing room.’
Kris passed all the regular dressing rooms and mirrors again, although they were stopped by a pippins before getting to the end,
“You know I hear there's a rank higher than S-rank, for all those haha TV losers!”
Kris stared at the pippins in confusion, why would they care. They shook their head and continued as the pippins behind them started talking about gambling.
They saw the plugboy from earlier and hurried their steps to talk to him. Once they were in front of the plug, who was starting in front of a set of double doors, the darkner began talking to Kris.
“Look at you, a dressing room big shot! Cheers to you Kris!”
He moved to the side then was seemingly lost in thought for a moment,
“So how do you fancy the games then? Not much to see, innit luv. Spamton tried to convince the boss to use the original games that he found files fer… and I knew you wouldn't like the games Tenna made, I just knew it, so listen up, an original copy of the game was saved to one of the consoles, one not changed by Tenna.”
He glanced around nervously before continuing,
“This one ain't just a blasted line from A to B. Not some borin’ old adventure game. And if I know Kris. And boy do I know Kris, that's what you want, innit?”
The plugboy winked at them conspiratorially
“You want freedom, don't you chum. Well if you're lookin’ for freedom, and bear with me as I go hush-hush for a moment, that's exactly what you'll find in the game backstage. Me and Spamton set it up while Tenna was busy gettin’ ready for your arrival. Go enjoy it. I'll keep an eye out for Tenna and you go have some real fun, alright luv?”
He moved out the way of the doors entirely, looking around quickly before whispering one last thing
“And I'm sure you understand, but keep this a secret from Tenna alright?”
Kris reeled at the information dump, nodding at the powerstrip, and their soul tugged them towards the doors. They entered and there was a large screen and a game system with many bolted down controllers, presumably where the other characters on the board play from.
There was a note on the wall that had a printed act 1 schedule, although there were several spelling errors it seemed very detailed. Underneath, scribbled in red pen and heavy cursive was ‘ACT 2 SCHEDULE’ and it seemed barely thought through, Tenna must have added it in his haste to keep the trio there longer.
Behind the curtain next to the paper was a strangely placed manhole, they tried to pry it up but it wouldn't budge, so they gave up on it and walked the other way the room had to offer. No music played in this room, it was unsettling as they had gotten used to the ever present music permeating all the places they visited, in fact normally the only time they didn't hear music was when they put their soul in its cage and had some time on their own..
In the next room was a very large screen and one games console that looked hastily set up, this must be what the plugboy was talking about, there was a note on top that said, in shaky handwriting with spelling mistakes,
‘hey hey Kris, catode needed us before we could find a gaming contrller, hope u can find one on yor own! Enjoy the game kid!’
They turned the console on anyway, despite having no controller.
The screen flashed bright colours in their face before the loading screen booted up, and then a loud noise sounded out with the text ‘no controller’.
They didn't know what they expected, they left the room expecting to have to go on a whole side quest to find a controller to play. Which is why they were so surprised when they tripped over a controller on their way out the door. It was off brand and slightly broken looking, the buttons an ugly shade of yellow and pink.
They looked around the room as this controller hadn't been there a minute ago so someone must have put it there, they caught a slight movement in the curtain on the other side of the room, a swish of what might have been a tail and they rushed over, pushing back the curtain but the only thing there was the man hole cover and it still wouldn't budge.
They supposed they'd be playing the game with the odd controller they found.
They started up the game with the controller they found, and it looked exactly the same as the board from earlier, a little pixelated version of Kris appeared on screen and they were in control, at least that's how it would look to anyone else.
They found it ironic, they were holding the controller but it was still controlling them, playing the game through their hands.
They walked around the board, there were new characters on this board, like monsters and fish, but nothing to do. They wandered into each room aimlessly for a while, until they found a staircase down and when they went down into what was the mailroom from earlier, they found a sword.
Their character picked it up. A jingle played and music started.
And then they started stabbing, sure it was only a game but Kris couldn't help feeling sick as their lvl kept rising and the characters kept dying. Eventually, after killing them all, it dragged their character through the trees, why it would go up there, they had no idea, until they found a chest buried in the trees.
‘You got the ice key.’
And then the game shut off entirely.
That wasn't fun, it definitely wasn't the freedom they wanted, and they knew Spamton and the plugboy had no way of knowing but it had unsettled them. They preferred playing Tenna’s stupid games with their friends. And even if Kris knew this couldn't last, even if they knew why they made the dark world…
It was fun to pretend.
They left the room without another word.
On their way out the plugboy told them to be careful next time as Tenna almost came in but was redirected by Spamton into setting up one of the minigames. They nodded absently, walking back to the green room to be with their friends. As they left the changing room, their friends were no longer on the couch, instead they stood in front of the S rank door, quietly arguing about whether they should follow Kris in as they'd taken so long, when they saw Kris come out, they both hugged them tightly.
“What the hell took you so long.”
Kris squirmed out of the hug, fidgeting with their hands.
“Oh yknow, playing games..”
Susie smiled excitedly
“Damn you should have told us, maybe we can play with you next time!”
But Ralsei quickly cut in
“That's okay, I'm not… really good at games”
Susie laughed at that,
“You're really not, how many times did I beat you in the racing game again?”
Ralsei huffed, fluffy face turning red,
“One or two times.”
Susie put him in a headlock and rubbed her knuckles between his horns,
“More than that ya sore loser!”
All three were laughing now and Susie let Ralsei go,
“Anyways, let's hurry up and get outta here, yeah?”
Kris nodded and then immediately headed for the two shop fronts they had ignored earlier. They started with the one ran by the plugboy,
“Kris! Bang-up job getting that S-rank, luv! For that, a little prize…” they handed Kris a pink ribbon and then seemed to realise they forgot to introduce themself.
“Oh, Kris luv, it's me, Ramb! You and your brother took me here from the Library. How's the city, Queen still bossy I bet, and does Swatch still have a mohawk?”
And before any of them could picture swatch with a mohawk, Ramb glanced at the empty shop front next to him and asked another question,
“And what about the addisons? Any news on them, I know Spamton wouldn't be happy with my asking but they are his brothers after all..”
Kris sighed, responding with short answers as that's all they could these days.
“They think Spamton is dead somewhere. Still as annoying as ever though.”
They shrugged and then grimaced, they opened their mouth to say more but Ramb’s expression changed and they thought better to not say anymore as a new set of footsteps entered the green room, clicking against the tile floor.
“[Hey hey hey] if it isn't my favourite lightne<s!” The three turned around to see the aforementioned Spamton strut up to his Storefront, adjusting his yellow bowtie.
“[Sorry to keep you waiting!] But I'm now open for [business as usual]!”
He visibly cringed at the vocal intrusions and Ramb patted his shoulder before he opened up his shutter.
While Ramb's side looked very much like a bar, Spamton's side certainly fit the part of darkworld shop, random knick-knacks and doo-dads crammed the shelves behind the counter, so much TV time merch featuring him and Tenna, a whole fridge full of what seemed to be microwavable dinners. A rack of armour and a box of weapons were pushed in the corner almost like an afterthought in favour of more TV time merch.
“What can I do ya for, you three [little sponges].”
Susie leant on the counter and Ralsei sat on one of the bar stools that were positioned all around both the shop and the bar.
Kris pointed to the fridge and Spamton grinned a very salesman smile, it reminded them of the addisons in cyber city for a moment.
“You want some of [TV worlds finest!] TV dinners [now also edible by non TVs], or perhaps you want some of the more expensive [Deluxe dinners! A meal fit for a big shot!], or, even, tonight's special, [As seen on TV, pie], recreated lovingly from the cooking show where your mother got her recipe from, eh?”
Kris looked at how many points they had and asked for one pie and 6 deluxe dinners.
“Do you want those heating up for you now or did you want to [takeaway]?”
They gestured for the pie to be heated up, sitting on the bar stools beside Ralsei and putting the deluxe dinners in their inventory, they had good healing stats, the pie however, while being the most expensive, had no healing stats… and they don't think they could put it in their inventory anyways, so maybe, just maybe, this was something just for them, not for it.
Spamton brought out the heated up pie, setting it on the counter, holding out his hand for the points. Kris paid him what they spent and then used their knife they kept in their pocket, that stayed the same between light worlds and dark worlds, to cut the pie into three pieces.
They couldn't find the words without it but they gestured for their two friends to take a piece each.
“You're sharing, with us?” Ralsei asked, in disbelief, Kris nodded and Susie picked up the slice in her bare hands, eating it in one go, she'd never change and Kris wouldn't want her to, she seemed lost in the tasty flavour of the pie.
They used their knife to take a bite, it really did taste like their mother's pie…. It made them smile, a real smile and they offered their knife to Ralsei, so they could take turns taking bites of each of their slices.
“Oh - oh no I couldn't, that's yours-” Ralsei protested and Kris shoved the knife in his hand forcibly, glaring at him until he took a bite. Ralsei’s face lit up as he ate.
“This may even taste better than cake, not that I'd know but, well, anyways, it's so good.”
Spamton was watching from the back of his store as he rearranged products, giving a slight grin that no one was supposed to see, Kris saw it though.
The trio finished their pie and Spamton came back over to talk with them.
“[Well well well], you enjoy it?”
The three nodded enthusiastically,
“Well good, cus it's the only one I had and I needed it [going going gone].”
He laughed, leaning on the counter,
“Anything else I can [HELP] you with?”
“Why do you talk like that?” Kris blurted out. They hated the soul sometimes. In fact not sometimes, all of the times.
Spamton looked taken aback for a few moments before regaining his composure with a laugh,
“kid don't you know it's [not kind] to ask people personal questions. Anyways, I caught [cyber flu] and since I am- was an [Addison, we don't do anything but advertise!], this happens, I know, terrible day to [hey catch] the flu, but what can you do!” His eyes shifted slightly, like he was withholding information or lying. Kris didn't push it, thank the angel. They quickly changed the topic,
“How long have you been working with Tenna?”
Spamton seemed to brighten up at this question, eager to talk about his business partner,
“Oh, ol’ [cathode glow], gotta be years now, least bouts decade I gotta say, what do you think Ramb?”
Ramb looked over from polishing glasses with a grin,
“Oh long enough to be a royal pain in my-” Spamton cut him off with what seemed to be his genuine laugh, it sounded ugly and unhinged, he cut it off as quick as possible, wiping a pretend tear from his closed eyes.
“You're the worst [powerstrip]” Spamton teased before turning back to the trio, and grinning.
Kris felt another question bubble up, a continuation of the last question,
“What do you think of Tenna?”
Spamton sighed a little, with a small grin,
“Oh yknow, best [TV cohost] an ad could ask for… over the years you get attached to people, and I'm pretty [smitten with]- ahah I mean fond of the TV head. Good ol [10/10]. Honestly I could host the show forever as long as it was with him!” Spamton seemingly realised he'd rambled too much and stood up straighter with a forced laugh,
“Anyways, you three are [wasting valuable airtime], only one more question.”
Kris thought about it for a moment.
“Do you miss cyber city at all?”
Spamton's eyes opened for a moment, caught off guard by the question.
After a moment of silence he shut his eyes again and responded flatly.
“No.”
He turned around, messing with the things in his shop,
“Hey you should go to the A rank room, Tenna set up a [specil surprise] for you three, [only 500 points!]”
Taking that as their sign to leave, Kris hopped down from the bar stool, gesturing for their two friends to follow.
The trio made their way back to the A room after being tipped off about the third mini game.
They paid the pippins 500 points and stepped inside, where Tenna was waiting excitedly.
“Welcome to the EXTRA GAME! Tonight, our 
will be…”
Suddenly his screen started flashing with an emergency broadcast, a siren sound blasting through the studio, it read ‘monster trampling through city!!!’
“Something massive has begun assaulting the city!!! Multiple buildings are up in 
!! At this rate everything will be destroyed! Can anyone please tell me who this monster is!!!!?”
In the time he was talking the trio had been magically put into different outfits,
“Hell yeah.” Susie grinned to herself.
“Guess who idiots.” She laughed and spun around on the string, and Kris and Ralsei had to hold on really tight to keep her from falling.
“It's susieZILLA!!” shouted Tenna, who had covered himself in gold and was standing in the middle of the set.
Ralsei giggled,
“awww Susie your costume is so ador- umm scary!”
Susie smiled smugly “of course it is.”
“You were watching the monster marathon until you fell asleep!” Tenna continued,
“I was so so happy to see someone so excited to tune in.. so this whole physical challenge is a 
service just for you!! Please come over to Kris’s and watch more TV anytime!!!! Or even just watch through the window, I won't tell anyone, the police will never know, I promise!!” he started laughing crazily and Susie glanced around slightly uncomfortably
“So uh, do I kick your ass now?”
“Oh, oh no, 
had a change in her TV-loving heart, she'll protect the TV statue with her life!”
Tenna smiled to himself, swaying back and forth with excitement
“Because if the bad guys get me, there's no more TV!!! So let's begin!
The game begun and Susie excitedly swung and kicked at the shadow men, destroying the houses when they popped up, saving the TV statue from blows, and then, during the last house smashing part a new alarm sounded,
“Oh dear I think their boss is coming!!!” Tenna cried in fear,
And suddenly a giant paper mache head of Spamton appeared.
“Careful he's charging up a big shot!!! My biggest hater! Don't let him win!”
Susie was laughing as she kicked at the paper mache face, which was mostly accurate except the nose was far smaller than Spamton’s real nose, and as she destroyed the rest of the shadow men, she forgot to hit the big shot in time and it ‘destroyed’ the tv statue.
“Nooooo!” Tenna called out and then the game ended with a bright flash of light, Kris and Ralsei got Susie down, the three laughing while Spamton came on from back stage, laughing harder than the fun gang combined
“You did great primetime! Now let's get you backstage to get all that [gold adhesive spray paint] off!” Spamton took his hand and started leading him off stage when Tenna suddenly dropped in height a bit, Spamton turned around to ask what was up but before he could Tenna suddenly hugged him close,
“I'm so sorry spammy I felt so bad saying those mean things about you!! And the props department got your nose wrong!”
And Spamton's feathers poofed up from being grabbed into the hug, he was blushing and trying to hide it while at the same time trying to squirm out of Tenna's arms,
“Hey- hey [tens], don't forget it was my idea to make me the [big bad evil guy], not yours, and we wrote the script together-” he finally got out of Tenna's arms, more flustered than he was a moment ago,
“Also, the [audience] ain't gone yet, we can talk about this more [backstage], alright?”
Tenna nodded gloobily as Spamton dragged him off stage hurriedly.
“That was more entertaining than the game.” Susie joked and Kris somewhat agreed with her, the soul was buzzing again at Spamton and Tenna's interaction, and seriously, what was the deal with those two and their soul getting all buzzing and annoying, like a wasp trapped in their ribcage, they felt compelled to follow the duo backstage and quickly decided against that idea.
“Let's head back to the green room.” They said abruptly.
They walked back to the green room taking a seat at Ramb's bar this time
“Can I buy a drink here?” They asked, Ramb shrugged
“Tenna doesn't like anyone except Spamton touching the points.. I could just make ya something anyway luv, my treat. Though don't think I'll serve you anythin’ alcoholic.”
They laughed lightly, they didn't expect him to, Susie and Ralsei sat down on either side of Kris
“Ooooe good idea, I'll have what they're having.” Susie said, leaning her chin on the top of their head.
After a few moments Ramb served three drinks to each of them, one purple with crushed ice like a slushie, one green and fizzy with pink sparkles in the drink and the third one blue with a lemon on the rim, the simplest one visually, they all had fun silly straws in the glasses, and Kris thought to themself that it couldn't hurt to chill a little longer before the second board.