Chapter Text
Barty and Evans' three bedroom skyline apartment is nothing like James could have guessed. It's cozy and looks like anyone who's ever walked through it would feel at home immediately. Soft around the edge with crash points everywhere.
A comfy dark green couch that looks like it would take all your worries and consume them with one sit. The front wall is entirely windows with plants everywhere that make the air almost too clean.It all screams please feel okay, you're safe now. Which is never how Evan and Barty come off.
“Based on your face I'm guessing this is not what you expected” Evans voice cutting through the silence makes James jump.
“To be fair you live with Barty I expected this place to look like a hole in the wall punk bar that smells like puke and you'll never get the sticky air off of you”.
The sound of Evans laugh is the most beautiful thing ever. It's all he could ever dream of. He wants to bottle up the sound and keep it in a jar.
“Barty, despite how he seems, is a clean freak. If our place looked like that we would all be dead. The world would stop spinning.”
They cooked with soft music playing. Evan hummed along till he caught himself and would stop. This pained James to no end.
Evan could tell because every time he stopped James would get all pouty for a second and then remember he was in the middle of something and try to pretend it didn't bother him at all.
They were making sad boxed Mac and cheese. James offered to make real cheese sauce. Mildly because Evans kitchen was beautiful but also it tasted better. It was a passionate fight that James ultimately lost when Evan kissed him to shut up.(It was embarrassing how well it worked)
“James I swear to God if you try to stir the pot again I'll stab you” Evan threatened this without looking up from his computer and sitting on top of the kitchen counter instead of any other seat in the house for some reason.
“You're not even paying attention to me just sitting there writing….an email?” James whines like a child. He's unused to not doing anything in a kitchen and just standing there.
“You were talking about Lego Batman. Which we can put on after dinner is done in about four minutes. Yes to the email, just one letting a client know I can do her wedding on July 25th.”
~~
The mac and cheese was much better than James wanted to admit. And watching Evans face as he rapped with batman during the joker fight was amazing.
”Now I get you're obsessed with this movie however I didn't expect that” Evan was mildly laughing at James but more of the fact he brought a man to his apartment and was just watching him recite a child movie like it was the bible.
“Just eat your mac and cheese.” James knew while saying this that dinner was put away awhile ago sitting on the coffee table. It'll be dealt with later.
After the movie had finished Evan clearly (to James at least) had to give a very detailed review or else. Evan conned him into doing it while he did dishes. The fight started with the fact Evan had seen it before. Listen Evan is very careful with his words and just said I don't remember it.
“EVAN Lego Batman is a cinematic masterpiece. The cultural relevance it has given. In fact all the Lego movies are beautiful for you to say don't remember it is a travesty. I'm gonna make you watch all of them if it's the last thing I do!”
The rant had already been happening for about four minutes. Evan might have been listening and watching like James hung the stars as he ranted.
Then starman started blasting from…somewhere. James started to look guilty.
“So it might be hitting me that I forgot to tell my roommate that I wasn't coming home….OR JUST LEAVING” It looked like James was gonna internally scolding himself for saying he was gonna spend the night without asking.
“James, go take the call. You can also spend the night if you want. And with that James walked out the front door.
If it made Evan unnecessarily happy that James thought he was gonna spend the night (romantically or not)..that's no one's business. However James walked out the front door and was gone. For a long time an uncomfortably long time.
“So Sirius was thinking about a missing persons report forgetting that he never even called me. So that was so incredibly fun.” James mildly yelled from the front door not realizing he'd walk into a silent apartment and felt bad for the noise immediately.
“Sorry for yelling. I'm also sorry for saying that I have to go because our friend Remus. Wait, sorry my friend, his boyfriend Remus is flaring . And Sirius is not home rn he's out of town. and I hate leaving them alone. So yeah anyway I should be leaving in like three minutes. I had a really good time and you're like so amazing and intelligent and funny. And I am rambling so I really should just-”
“JAMES! it's okay I get it go being with Remus he definitely deserves to not be alone I'll see you soon.” Evan ends up interrupting James with a shout.
“Right, ok bye!” And James walks out the door for real this time…until he walks back in the door jogs into the living room. Then gives Evan a world ending searing kiss. It was the most perfect kiss ever.
James finally walks out the door. And with no phone number left or exchanged to call. And feeling too pathetic to ask Barty for anything relating to a date. James and Evan never see each other again