Chapter Text
They sat there in shocked silence for a moment. Just letting everything that just happened process.
Then Sirus scrambled to Remus's side, just as the spell lifted. Remus sat up with a gasp, grabbing Sirius's arm for support. He always hated it when he got petrified. It felt like his brain and blood just froze, melted and got mixed around in a blender, along with a sudden wave of nausea. Instead of puking his guts up, he pulled himself to his feet, ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach and the apologies spilling off of Sirius's lips.
"I'm fine," he grunted.
All he could think about was Sirius. The sound of Walburga's hand against Sirius's face. The darkening of a bruise was already blossoming Sirius's alabaster face. Sirius, Sirius, Sirius. Was Sirius okay? Was he safe?
"G-gods, Moony. I'm s-so sorry," Sirius stuttered.
He looked so broken that Remus couldn't stand it anymore. He yanked Sirius into a hug, wrapping his long arms around the boy's back, using his build to cover him. For a second, Sirius stiffened. Remus could practically feel his cheeks burning up, wishing he had just stuck to talking to him. He was about to pull away when Sirius hugged him back, burying his face into Remus's sweater. He could feel the anger swell up inside him. That he had let Walburga hurt Sirius. That he couldn't protect him.
"Don't you dare apologize for anything," Remus growled, holding him tighter. "It's not your fault. It never has been."
Sirius let a shuddering breath against Remus's neck, warm and shaky. Remus rubbed his back. He had never had parents. Or anyone there to love or in Sirius's case, fear. He had the Matron at the children's home, but she was more of a nuisance to put up with, then a guardian. He tried to imagine how it would feel like, tried to understand Sirius's situation. He imagined instead of a parent, someone he loved, Sirius. He tried to think of how he would feel if Sirius had roared at him, then punched him. The flash of anger, but also shame and confusion of what on earth he had done to deserve the punishment. He remembered something James had told him a few years back, when Sirius locked himself in the bathroom after the 5th howler of the week.
"They're still his parents. They're supposed to love him even though they don't, and that breaks him the most, because he still cares if they do."
Remus hadn't understood it back then, but now, seeing it, he understood. In his arms, Sirius let out a broken laugh.
"This is so stupid, huh? Me getting all emotional over my parents."
Remus hugged him tighter.
"It's not stupid. Don't ever say it's stupid."
Sirius nodded.
"I guess I do care. It's just that they're terrifying but I still feel this sick pull towards them. The reason why I'm always caring about Reg, no matter what he's done. And no matter how much I run from it, it just comes back to haunt me and its stupid and....er...shit."
Remus chuckled.
"Yeah, its shit," he said.
"And sometimes it's all so fucking stupid. And at the worse times, I just feel like I'm alone and unloved."
"I love you"
The words were off Remus's lips before he could stop.
For a moment, Sirius just stared.
"I...er, I mean-like...cause...." Remus started.
He stopped Sirius reached a finger up to his lip to silence him. He could see Sirius taking a deep breath, before looking into his eyes.
"Moony."
Remus braced for it.
"Me too."