Chapter Text
Are you home right now? Remus's text reads.
Logan reads it once, then twice, then a third time before he stands up from the couch. He goes over to his front door, quickly undoing the locks and throwing open his door. Remus is standing on the other side of the door, surprised by Logan's sudden opening of the door.
"You know you could have knocked," Logan says, and a blush springs up on Remus's cheeks at being called out. "Like a normal person."
Remus is holding up a bouquet of roses in his hand, and the other hand scratches the back of his head, sheepish.
"I didn't want to surprise you, if you didn't want to see me," Remus says, "But I didn't think of that until I was already on your doorstep."
Logan steps to the side, letting Remus into his house.
"Roses?" Logan asks, pointing to the bouquet in his arms.
Remus extends the roses, handing them to Logan. Logan takes them from him, taking a second to dip his head to smell them. He notices that the roses are all thornless and wrapped up in paper, but they're not Roses from the local grocery store. It looks like Remus had gone out and picked and de-thorn-ed all of these Roses himself.
"The best way to apologize," Remus says, a little breathless and hopeful. "Flowers."
"The best way to apologize," Logan tells him, in a sort of fond tone, "Is to actually say sorry."
Logan takes a few steps towards the kitchen, putting the roses on his counter, before retrieving a vase and filling it with water. After a few seconds, Remus comes and joins him, as he places each rose in the vase one at a time, arranging them.
"I am sorry, for trying to erase your memories," Remus says.
Points for sounding genuinely remorseful. Points for knowing what to say sorry for.
"I have my reasons, but none of them excuse my actions," Remus says. "I have been acting like a reprehensible asshole, and I shouldn't have tried to erase your memories, or call you crazy, or think that I know better than you about what's best for your life."
And oh, hearing Remus saying that he's not crazy and apologize for it feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders.
"I'm so sorry, Logan," Remus says. "And I understand if you never forgive me. I understand."
Logan takes a deep breath, turning around to face Remus.
"Okay," He says. "I forgive you."
Remus looks at him like he's said something confusing.
"You don't have to forgive me," Remus says, instantly. "Especially not so quickly, and especially if it's disingenuous."
"I know I don't have to," Logan says to him. "I don't care. I want to forgive you, so I am."
"But…" Remus shakes his head. "You should be mad."
"Don't tell me what I should be," Logan says, still not angry at him, voice even.
Remus looks down at the floor, his hands coming up to hold his arms in a self-soothing gesture. Logan watches him for a second, seeing just how much of blame Remus is placing on himself. Logan sets the vase down on the counter.
And he crosses the room to stand in front of Remus.
Remus looks up from the floor, looking down at Logan in surprise. Logan shifts from one foot to the other for a second, before he raises his hand and places it on Remus's cool, pale, undead skin. Remus is wide-eyed and he looks reverent, as if Logan is the one who was supernatural and magical inherently.
"It sounds like you're trying to punish yourself," Logan tells him. "But I'm the one you apologized to, and it's my decision. Let me take it from you, because it's not your decision. I've decided, okay? So let go. Let me forgive you."
Remus sniffles, then crumples, wrapping his arms around Logan and holding on tight.
"Oh, honey," Logan says, running one of his hands through Remus's bangs. "Come on, this way."
Logan very gently drags Remus by the hand to his room. He pushes Remus to lie down, before he lies down next to Remus, setting his head on Remus's bicep and curling up next to him. The hand connected to the arm underneath Logan's head lands on Logan's back, his knuckles brushing back and forth across Logan's skin.
"Can you tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" Logan asks him. "Like, what were you thinking?"
"At first, it was just… panic," Remus explains. "You kind of… sprung it on me, you know."
Logan laughs, thinking back to that night where he… held himself at knife-point and drew blood to get Remus to admit he was a vampire.
"I'm sorry," Logan says. "I did kind of go nuclear right away, didn't I?"
"A little bit…" Remus laughs, too. "But then, after that, it was just…"
Remus takes a deep breath, blowing out and shifting a little under Logan. He's clearly uncomfortable, like he's about to unveil some truth that could cut him deep if Logan chooses to use it. Logan places a hand on Remus's chest, trying to comfort him, and it helps some.
"I was just happy. When I met you, I was just happy," Remus says. "I haven't had that chance in so long, and… I didn't want anything to change. It's selfish, but it's true. When you're undead, everything changes all of the time, except for you. I was just trying to ignore the fact that you're…"
"Human?"
Remus holds Logan a little closer. Logan almost wonders if he did it on purpose, because it kind of seems unintentional.
"In a year, I'm going to be the same. In ten years, I'm going to be the same," Remus lists off. "At your funeral, I'm going to be the same. It's so much easier to distance myself. Because if I care, I have something to loose." Remus's voice drops into a whisper. "I didn't want to loose you."
"Why do you have to think about loss so much?" Logan asks him. "Why do you have to borrow grief from the future?"
"It's going to come eventually," Remus says solemnly. "Death always does."
"But it will come anyways," Logan argues. "Do you really think, at this point, that walking away will make my death hurt less? You're going to have to grieve, anyways, but the only thing that change you have control of is whether or not you get happy years with me or miserable, self-sacrificing, horrid-"
Remus lets out a little wet laugh, both laughing and crying.
"-years without me," Logan continues to say. "Can't you focus on now? For once?"
Remus continues to laugh through tears, before he places one of his hands on Logan's face.
"Just focus on me," Logan says. "Can't you?"
Remus leans forward, kissing Logan. It's nothing like their first kiss, witch was all passion and fight and screaming in the rain. This one is gentle, is sweet, the pad of Remus's thumb brushing back and forth under Logan's eye as Remus just holds him.
Remus pulls back, just enough to look Logan in the eyes, gentle and kind.
"Most people think I'm a monster," Remus whispers.
"I have never thought that about you, Re," Logan says back. "I'm not scared of you."
"Maybe you should be," Remus says. "Have you ever thought of that?"
"I don't care." Logan says, pretty flatly and firmly. "I don't care if you're a vampire, you're my vampire, so. Suck it up and deal. Have you ever thought about that?"
Remus laughs into his mouth, and Logan feels himself smile- genuinely smile- for the first time in weeks, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.
"So…" Remus says, a smile pulling the corners of his mouth up. "If I wanted to finally ask you out on a date…"
Logan giggles, feeling giddy and lightweight and bubbly.
"Well," he says, "Ask!"
"Will you please ignore all of my many many failures," Remus asks, smiling and laughing, "And will you please, please, be my boyfriend?"
And as Logan kissed him, he figures that's enough of an answer.