Chapter Text
Harry stared at himself in the mirror, his wild curls frizzing from the humidity that comes with living under a lake. He did this every day since discovering that Lily was still his mom. This was his true face, one he had to learn to live with, and it wouldn’t be good to flinch in shock at every reflective surface like he had the first month.
He raised his hand, the mirror raised it back. Still him then. He took a deep breath, and left the bathroom in green trimmed robes. It was odd being back here in the wrong colour, but not as wrong feeling as it might’ve once been. Living with the Malfoys- and their fashion sense that seemed to be entirely monochrome shades of black, white and green- made it feel a lot more natural.
Before he returned he got a new watch, replacing the one that had broken during the tournament. It wasn’t anything fancy, it was barely nicer than the one he had before with a dark brown leather band and plastic watchface. It was also the most Muggle looking thing in the store, and he loved having that little rebellion. He closed it around his wrist and checked the time. 6:45, a few hours before classes started. Harry took one last look at the people in his dorm, still asleep, grabbed his bookbag and left, shutting the door as carefully as he could.
The hallways were empty and so were the grounds as he stepped out. The sun had barely risen, streaks of pink and yellow still in the sky. The air was crisp as he walked out, breathing in deeply, morning dew wetting the bottom of his robes. He’d done this occasionally in the last few years, having never broken out of the early bird habits the Dursleys gave him. Everyone was always watching, always expecting things from him. But not this early, except for when Quiddich was in full swing.
His heart hurt a bit at the thought of Quiddich. Voldemort had told him that joining the team was a likely way to get himself discovered, and Harry knew Malfoy was the Slytherin’s Seeker anyway. He also didn’t want to play for Slytherin, even if it was a bit petty. So he hadn’t even brought his broom, knowing he was the only one who had a Firebolt. They were truly ridiculously expensive, Sirius had more than enough gold but Harry wasn’t convinced that his own vaults did.
He could still fly, he reasoned to himself. He could borrow a school broom or one of the Nimbus’ from the Slytherin team. Harry was pretty sure Crabbe or Goyle wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a Cleansweep 6 and a Nimbus line if he swapped them and replaced the brand names.
It was closer to eight by the time he wandered into the Great Hall for breakfast. It was full of low, excited chatter. The first two weeks were always so full of life and student activity until it died out till exam season. Harry still didn’t know where everyone seemed to go for those months, the hallways always were emptier and meals only had a third of the students. Did they just not eat? Or do their classwork? A mystery for the ages, truly.
His own table was full, every student from the dorms having wandered down. Harry sat down exactly where he did last night, across from Malfoy who still looked half asleep.
“Where were you this morning?” Theo asked as Harry buttered his toast.
Harry blinked, “I went on a walk.”
“And you didn’t get lost?” Theo said, sounding impressed.
He cursed internally, he forgot he wasn’t meant to know Hogwarts yet. “I wanted to explore before class, I remember getting lost in Durmstrang a lot when I started there.”
Zabini leaned over, “How was Durmstrang? I wanted to go there, but they don’t like outsiders.”
Harry blinked, “Cold. And kind of damp.” He thought of the dungeons underneath Malfoy Manor.
“Gross.” Parkinson replies. “I’d transfer too. You know, you don’t have much of a Russian accent.”
Harry had learned to fake one over the summer, but it was still soft and apparently not up to par. “I spent most of my time in Britain, growing up. I moved to Russia young but I guess it never fully stuck. I never learned the language for sure.”
“Why not?” Theo that time.
“I’m better at spells.” He ducked his head, as if embarrassed.
Malfoy snorted, “Like that’s saying much.”
Harry glared, but was stopped from replying by Theo straightening beside him. “Snape’s coming.” He hissed.
He looked down the table, and sure enough Snape was walking down with schedules. He schooled his face and threw up the image of the cupboard in his brain. He was sure that Voldemort told Snape that he was his son but he still did not want the greasy git in his head.
Snape reached the fifth years, who had gone back to eating breakfast and ignoring each other. He handed the others their schedules without comment, but paused when he gave Harry his. “Mr. Gaunt.”
“Present.” He took the sheet of paper.
The man studied him, and Harry avoided eye contact, instead looking past him. “Your father expressed concern about you…adjusting to Hogwarts. Please meet me after classes.” And he stalked away.
Harry ignored the looks from his new housemates, instead unfurling his schedule. “Great, double Potions first thing.” He groaned.
“Oh Potions is a breeze with Snape, he won’t fail Slytherins even if we do badly. Take Vincent and Gregory here.” Parkinson waved her hand dismissively.
The two looked up from their plates of eggs and pastries, “Huh?” Goyle said.
“Nothing dear.” She smiled like rotten honey at them before turning back to Harry, “You have nothing to worry about, Hydrus, can I call you Hydrus?”
“..Sure?” He replied, a bit taken aback.
She beamed, “I’m Pansy, I don’t think I introduced myself properly last night, how rude of me. This is Blaise,” She pointed at the dark skinned boy on his other side, “and you already know Theo.” Theo waved. “Daphne is over there with Tracey.” She pointed further past Blaise to a blonde girl with a stoic expression next to a girl with a short brown bob, both looking over their schedules. “And Millicent overslept, despite me telling her to charm her candle.” Pansy rolled her eyes, “anyways, that’s everyone in our year.”
Harry nodded, “I’m Hydrus Gaunt, well you know that but..” he floundered.
She grinned like a shark, “You’re sweet, it’s lovely to meet you Hydrus.”
He swallowed, “Do you think someone could show me down to the Potions classroom? I don’t know the way and I’d like to make a good impression.” He lied.
“I can.” Malfoy stood up from the table.
“Great.” He grit his teeth as he said it.
Parkin- Pansy’s eyes flitted between the two of them before narrowing, like she was trying to put a puzzle together with too few pieces. “We’ll catch up!”
The two walked in silence for a bit, the hallways still empty with an hour to go before classes began. A couple students filtered past into the hall, some still in pyjamas, most in robes.
“You know I don’t actually need to be shown the way.”
“I’m not an idiot, Potter.”
Harry stopped, “Then why am I here? We’re not friends.”
Malfoy laughed without humour, “I would think you’d truly lost it if you said we were. I need to show you something so you don’t do something stupid.”
He led a now confused Harry down the halls into the main atrium, staircases shifting overhead as first years tried to navigate them fruitlessly. He looked around, not sure what he was exactly looking for, until he saw where Malfoy was pointing.
There, right in the middle of the room, flanked by two staircase landing points, was a marble statue of himself. His wand was out and above his head, occasional illusionary red sparks coming out of the end. His face carved into determination, stone robes flared out behind him. On the base of the statue the words Amor Vincit Omnia were glowing in faint golden script.
“Love conquers all,” Malfoy translated from behind him. “Why Headmaster Dumbledore chose that is beyond me, it’s not like you survived, to their knowledge anyways.
Harry ignored him, walking up to the statue instead. It was big, probably around three meters tall. The base of it was covered in flowers, gifts, and notes. Mountains of them, really. Yellow roses and stark white lilies wrapped around his head and his feet. A giant piece of parchment spelled up on the statue’s leg read WE MISS YOU, HARRY. It looked like Luna’s scrawl.
Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes, and he wiped them away as discretely as he could. He picked up a random letter and opened it. It was from a third year, someone he barely remembered but had shown her a few Quidditch positions and had helped her get onto the Hufflepuff team. There were a couple more like that, and a thousand more from strangers. And in the center, right at the base of it was a photo album. His photo album.
Shaky hands picked it up, the dancing picture of James and Lily right on front with a new image next to it. Him, Ron and Hermione, laughing on the lawn without noticing whoever took the photo. He traced his younger face as he pushed Ron over while Hermione just rolled her eyes with a hidden smile. A piece of parchment was below it. “So you can be with your son. Tell him we say hi, and that we love and miss him so much.” Hermione’s handwriting.
He flipped the page, more photos of him and his friends, newspaper clippings carefully cut out and placed inside. Another scrap of parchment aside a collection of his Quidditch victories and practises, “Fucked of you to die like that. I hope you’re still playing Seeker wherever you are. Show them who’s boss.” Ron that time, and Harry could see Hermione giving him a glare at his language before breaking into tears. He missed them so much.
“Malfoy.” He said, voice stiff from trying not to cry.
“Yeah?” The blonde was making a clear attempt to sound uninterested. It would’ve worked if Harry hadn’t paid so much attention to him in the past.
“Thank you.” The words felt like acid in his throat as he put the scrapbook in his bag, making sure no one saw as he did so. People watching the new kid steal from Harry Potter’s memorial was probably not a great look.
Malfoy looked caught off guard at that, before clearing his throat and replying, “Of course, couldn’t have you embarrassing Slytherin by being caught off guard at it.”
Harry nodded, and then turned to the dungeons. He would like to be somewhat early to Snape’s class after all, Malfoy following after him in silence. He broke it by asking one more question that was bothering him, “Does Cedric have one of those?”
“A statue? Of course not, he has the cup in the trophy room and the tournament money went to his family.” Malfoy sounded confused as to why he would even ask.
Familiar anger filled his gut, “Right.”
Cedric deserved that statue. Cedric, who was braver than he ever was, who died before he got the chance to live. Instead it was Harry, who did nothing but cower under the slightest push. Suddenly his uniform felt too constricting, his school robes so much nicer than what he would’ve picked for himself.
He could end this. He could go to Dumbledore right now and tell him the truth or construct a lie about being held against his will. Go back to playing the saviour, lay in the Gryffindor common room with Ron and Hermione. Read the Quibbler with Luna, sneer at Malfoy in the halls.
Go back to fighting Voldemort.
Harry shouldered his bag and continued walking to Potions.
-X-
The classroom was still as terrible as he had remembered it. Despite the Slytherin common room also being in the dungeons, it at least didn’t smell like mildew and was dry. Not this room. He slid into a seat in the middle of the room, Malfoy claiming his normal spot at the front. Harry had a moment when he walked in where he jerked over to the Gryffindor’s section before his brain caught up with his actions.
Unpacking his book, quill, parchment, and getting his cauldron set up, he checked the time. Still twenty minutes before class was going to start, which meant eighteen until Snape showed up.
And five before Hermione did.
He flipped open his potions book, not actually registering what he was reading. He heard as the door swung open again and more people began to filter in. Hermione’s footsteps followed Ron’s, but Harry refused to look up. His left arm itched, he wanted to pull out Ursa so bad, just for something to distract himself. He didn’t.
“Mind if I sit here?” Pansy slid into the spot next to him without waiting for his answer.
Harry started, “Uh, yeah that’s fine. Do you not already have a partner?”
She waved him off, “Daphne will be fine, you’re new and I want to make sure you’re not going to embarrass us.”
“I’m not that bad at potions.” He replied indignantly.
“So you admit that you’re bad then.”
He was about to say something, but her eyes told him that she was teasing him. “I’m not the best.” He settled.
“It’s not my strongest subject either, but Draco’s taught me a few things that made it a little easier.
Harry opened his mouth to reply when the door opened one last time and Snape stormed in, cape billowing behind him. Dark eyes scanned the class room, and he didn’t even take attendance before beginning the lecture right away. “Today we will be making the Draught of Peace, something that is expected to be performed on your Ordinary Wizarding Levels. What are the effects of it being improperly brewed?”
Harry let himself zone out as Snape droned on, only brought back to reality by tap from Pansy, who had flipped his book to the correct page for him. “Remember, don’t embarrass us.” She warned before turning back to her own cauldron.
Right.
The rest of class flew by in a haze of stirring, crushing powders and measuring hellebore syrup. In the end the limited practise he had gotten away from Snape over the summer paid off. His potion wasn’t perfectly turquoise, but it was in the realm of a light blue. He glanced over at his classmates. Malfoy’s and Hermione’s were both perfect, Ron’s looked like green goop, and a glance over at Goyle made him wince as the boy’s flask exploded and caught him on fire.
He’d take blue.
Snape briefly glanced at him but didn’t do anything aside from that. Harry barely stifled a grin as he submitted his potion. It was the first time he had gotten a fair judge in this class. It felt amazing.
His good mood was quickly spoiled as he brushed into Hermione on his way out, her familiar voice muttering out an “Excuse me,” as she talked with Ron, eyes still shadowed.
Strangers. That’s all they were. Pansy gave him an odd look as he rushed out the classroom, Malfoy muttering something to her but he didn’t stay to figure out what it was.
-X-
Harry avoided his house for the rest of the day, well as much as he could considering they all shared classes together. A few niceties here and there before throwing himself into books and excuses about homework. Excuses that were barely that, each professor had assigned a truly ludicrous amount of essays for the first day of classes. Soon, his last class of the day arrived with Defense.
Already rumours had swirled around the castle about the new DADA professor. Apparently she had given half of the 5th year Gryffindor class detention for spreading the rumour that Voldemort was back and had murdered Cedric and Harry Potter.
While he was secretly proud of his old house, he played the part he was meant to be and had outwardly dismissed it as the fantasies of grieving classmates. Half of Slytherin had been a bit shocked at that, and Harry figured that they knew the truth from their Death Eater parents.
Malfoy in particular had looked like he had swallowed a lime when Harry declared, “The death of Harry Potter and… Cedric Diggory was it?” That had hurt to say. “It’s tragic, but it’s not a part of a conspiracy.”
Some students in red going down the hallway were staring at him now, and if he wasn’t used to it at this point he would probably be flushed in embarrassment. Instead he stood tall and continued to Defense, talking to…well, himself really. Pansy and Theo were making polite noises of agreement, but were giving each other furtive glances and the rest of Slytherin were muttering to themselves or ignoring him entirely until they arrived at their destination.
The DADA classroom had once again changed. While last year it had been full of artifacts of a paranoid man, this time it was pink. Very, very pink. Cat pictures lined the pastel walls, leaping between their frames. Two were fighting rather viciously right above the professor’s desk.
The woman was already sitting behind it, a pink cushion hat on her head and wearing robes that matched her walls. “I am Professor Doloros Umbridge, and I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from now on, and more importantly for your ever critical OWL year.” Her voice was unnaturally high, like she was forcing it to seem like a child. Harry automatically hated her. “Now, wands away and open your books to chapter one.”
His classmates looked at each other in confusion, but did as they were asked. Thunks of books being put on the table rang out through the class, and the period passed in the slow flipping of pages. At one point, the girl that Pansy had pointed out as Tracy raised her hand.
“Yes, Ms. Davis?”
“Will we use our wands at all in this class?” Tracy asked.
Umbridge’s eye twitched in annoyance. “The Ministry feels that practical applications of magic will be unnecessary in this class, with You-Know-Who being long dead and Sirius Black will be returned to Azkaban shortly.”
Tracy smiled tightly, “Of course, ma’am, thank you.” and she went back to her book.
Later that evening in the common room, she snapped a quill and let out a deep growl of frustration, startling everyone around her. “No magic, how are we meant to pass our practical OWL with no magic?” She stalked off to her dorm, slamming the door behind her.
No one spoke for a minute, before Blaise said, “She is right, we’re screwed.”
Theo sighed, “We’ll figure out something. If people passed their NEWTs when Lockhart was a professor, we can do our OWLs under Umbridge.”
Harry looked up from his moonstone essay, “Can we practise spells in the common room?” Please say yes, he silently begged. A year without Defensive magic would probably end in his death, for real this time.
“I believe so, but it’ll be difficult to learn without a professor.” Theo groaned, before pointing at Harry like he just remembered something. “Hey, Hydrus, don’t you have that meeting with Professor Snape?”
Shit. He’d completely forgotten in the chaos of the day. “Thanks for the reminder.” As he half ran out of there.
Snape’s office wasn’t one that he had ever been in. He would bet his life that no Gryffindor had ever gone in, actually. He wished suddenly that he still had the Marauder's Map as he went down the wrong corridor three times before finding it. He knocked on the door, steadying his breathing so it didn’t look like he ran all the way there.
Snape opened the door like he had been waiting beside it already. Harry stepped inside the stone room. A pensive stood in the far corner, and shelves of potion books and scrolls lined the area around it, but otherwise it was pretty bare. He expected more bats.
“Your father has instructed me to continue your Occlumency lessons during your time at Hogwarts.” If Harry didn’t know any better, he would’ve bet that Snape sounded almost afraid.
“Yeah, he told me before I left.”
Snape’s eyes narrowed, “Your progress has been slow thus far, has it not?”
Harry resisted the urge to snap at him, “I have already had an interaction with Dumbledore and avoided detection, I don’t think I need these lessons to continue.”
“The Dark Lord says otherwise. Legilimens.”
Harry wasn’t prepared and threw up the image of his cupboard a second too late as the spell hit him and tore through the flimsy image to his memory of the graveyard. He watched, desperately trying to throw Snape out but the other was anchored deep in his mind, refusing to give up that easily.
So Harry was forced to relive that night, watching as Cedric died and the agony of his glamour shattering mixed with the pain of a crucio. As his left arm was marked, as he was weak weak weak and let Lucius pull him away.
He could’ve tried harder.
Snape was still there, and Snape didn’t get to see him weak. He finally broke out of the spell, snarling as the man was thrown backwards from the force of it. “You don’t get to see my memories!”
Snape just stared at him from the floor in growing horror, before whispering, “Harry Potter.”
Dread filled him down to his bones, and he barely felt as he ran away, dark eyes on him all the while.
Fuck.