Chapter Text
Ritsu was laying on Arashi’s lap, her hand softly stroking through his hair as the two watched the other three practice their part of the choreography that didn't go as well just yet.
It was peaceful, it made Ritsu even more sleepy, only with the background music and the three’s breaths filling the comforting silence of the room.
That was, until Arashi spoke, voice hushed, just for Ritsu to hear. “Izumi-chan has been acting strange since yesterday…”
“Hmm, so you noticed too, Nacchan~” Ritsu kept his eye honed on him, he didn't seem like himself while practicing. Too much focus on everyone else, not enough on himself. It's like he forgot he exists and only the others mattered. Or something like that, Ritsu thought.
It started out with small things. All the way back to yesterday.
It was breakfast time and they each went to grab their own meals at a nearby bakery, deciding to sit in and have their food together.
“Naru-kun, you're going to drop the plate.”
“Huh?” And right then, she almost did trip over another customer if Izumi hadn't warned her and pulled her closer to himself, out of the way.
Then it was another practice time, yesterday.
“Kuma-kun!”
He was the first to react as Ritsu lost his balance and nearly blacked out, catching him in his arms before he could even process it.
“I must've slept wrong last night~ Thank you, Secchan~ I feel like a princess.”
With only a nod of acknowledgement that he's fine, he helped him back to his feet so they could continue practice.
And just last night they caught him sitting by Tsukasa’s bed, who seemed to be having a nightmare. They've never seen Izumi caress someone so softly, so comfortingly, gazing at him like he's his world.
But none of them know what was behind it.
The flashes, the pain, the worry something was going to go wrong.
Since yesterday.. They were constant.
Arashi was knocked over, blood oozing from her head. No, that never happened.
Ritsu, laying in the dirt, covered in nothing but filth and blood. No, that never happened.
But they flashed in his mind before each incident, like a persistent nightmare and since then, Izumi felt like he couldn't take his eyes off them. Not for a moment.
He didn't sleep a wink and it was clear, so Tsukasa clapped his hands after one more attempt. “I think that's enough for today. Thank you, everyone.”
Izumi was going to speak up, that he could go one more, it still wasn't perfect, but he held his mouth, he knew, deep down, he couldn't have done better.
He couldn't have done better.. Those words echoed in his head like some sort of alarm bell. Why? Why can't he do better?
Making mistakes at practice bothers him, sure, but this was a new extent he wasn't sure what to make of. Was it the-
As Tsukasa was stepping to pack his things..
Another flash, so vivid, so gruesome, his head chopped clean off its place and held up as a trophy by someone he couldn't make out the face of.
Any other person would've threw up at such a sight, but though it only flashed a moment, it was giving him the urge to act instead of freeze.
And before he knew it, Izumi was the one holding Tsukasa’s bag and giving it over to him. As if that would erase the image from his mind.
And no one noticed, no one knew, the moment of sheer terror that flashed before him. Only, everyone did know.
They knew but said nothing. Izumi never liked to be pitied.
“Let's go grab lunch together!” Leo broke the silence that settled on the moment, unlike the one before, this one tense and unrelenting.
Ritsu and Arashi glanced at each other and nodded. “Sure~ Let's go to Cinnamon~”
Just as their chatting was returning to normal again, walking through the streets on their way..
Izumi stopped dead in his tracks. This time he could feel the blood dripping from his fingertips as he held Leo's body in his arms, clinging to life, just barely and he..
He grabbed Leo's collar and pulled him back, just as a car was about to go over the red light.
“You-”
At this point it was too much. No, that never happened. But he could still feel his blood. Smell the dirt. See the lifeless look in each of their eyes.
Before he knew it, he couldn't catch his breath, hyperventilating as he still gripped onto Leo's coat.
“It's okay, Sena, nothing happened!”
Nothing happened. That's right. But then why did those flashes feel so real?
“You could've-”
“Died, right?” Leo's voice dropped as he said that, softly taking Izumi's trembling hand into his own. “But we're still alive now, aren't we?”
Arashi had stepped closer as well, prying Izumi's other hand off Leo's hood and holding it in her own as well. “Okay, breathe with me, Izumi-chan.”
It took a moment. Until he could no longer see those images. No longer feel the blood. Only their comforting hands and someone, most probably both Ritsu and Tsukasa rubbing his back.
He was here, they were all alive. “I don't know-”
“Secchan. Let's go back home and order take-out~ You need a good rest.”
Before he could even begin to protest that he's fine, Tsukasa stepped into his vision, head still intact, alive, breathing. “I think it's a good idea as well, Sena-senpai. I wanted to order from that new place sometime. They say they have the best swe-.. Um, meals.”
This time Izumi was too far gone to scold him for that, but if even their King said so.. Their King said so.. Though he was the leader of their unit, why did he feel so obedient, like his word was an order? He shook off those thoughts and took a few more deep breaths.
“Let's go back.”
And though the rest of the day went by in good fun, there was a lingering in everyone left. Lingering of something deeper they were all forgetting somehow.
Izumi could not shake off their blood completely.