Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“You came! You really came!” Chirpie, dressed in her white choir gown and flat shoes, ran to Yoojin.

Well, actually, she bee-lined for the flowers Sung Hyunjae held. She hugged them so tightly that loose petals and leaves burst from the wrapping, spreading a hail of color around her.

“I love them! Are they real? They smell good. Thank you, rich ahjussi!”

Yoojin grimaced at the nickname and checked to see if Sung Hyunjae had heard.

The other man was holding back a laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched Chirpie enjoy her gift. A gift, to Sung Hyunjae, that was simple and cheap, but to her, she had never received anything so grand before.

All around them, children left the stage and ran to their parents as the event wrapped up. Due to the small size of the organization, the recipients of the invitations were only close family members. As the children reunited with their loved ones, the small hall grew noisy. Parents congratulated their children with hugs and gifts, promising special meals afterwards. Some received flowers, but none as big or beautiful as Chirpie’s.

For years, Yoojin had attended these performances alone. The other orphans would show their support as well, but he wasn’t blind. He noticed the way his kids watched the other children, with looks of envy or sadness. Even though his kids repeatedly won awards, their victories were often quiet. There was only so much cheering and celebrating Yoojin could do on his own.

It never seemed fair because his kids were the best.

Yoojin didn’t believe he was biased, but he really believed no one worked harder than his kids. He wished he could get them a bouquet this big every time. Yerim could go national with her skating skills. Peace was only held back by his lack of gear. And Chirpie was the youngest student to have her own solo.

He had wished for years that there were more he could give them than a single scoop of ice cream or a small piece of candy after winning first place.

Sung Hyunjae was staring at him.

He blinked. “Is there something wrong?”

Sung Hyunjae laughed to himself and turned to Chirpie, who had her head buried in the bouquet.

“Your performance outshone my expectations. I look forward to receiving more invitations from you in the future.”

Chirpie raised her head from the flowers. Pollen had covered her lips like glitter, and a leaf was stuck to her cheek. Her eyes gleamed with admiration. “Really? Does this mean I get gifts like the other kids?”

Yoojin tried scolding her, but Sung Hyunjae cut him off. “Of course. Name anything in this world you want.”

She opened her mouth to spout something ridiculous, but Yoojin stopped her.

“Don’t be greedy.”

She closed her mouth and thought about it more deeply. Yoojin probably saved Sung Hyunjae thousands of dollars and a week of hassle. Chirpie often talked about building up the staple of the church so she could “be the youngest skydiver in the world.” Or to learn how to fly a plane.

When a couple and their son walked past them, her eyes shifted, and her smile faded.

“Carry me, Daddy!” The young boy shouted. The father picked up his son, and the mother pinched his cheeks.

“We’re going to make your favorite dinner tonight. You did so well.”

“Thanks, Mom!”

The excitement in Chirpie’s eyes dimmed, and she looked back at her flowers, deep in thought. The bleak expression was rare to see on a child as optimistic as Chirpie. For a moment, the only sound she made was from the flower’s wrapper crinkling in her hand.

“I know what I want…”

“Oh? Yes?”

She tightened her grip on the flowers and inhaled sharply, shouting out everything in one breath. “I want lobster fra diavolo and a whole loaf of panettone for myself. I don’t want to have to share it with anyone. No giving to my siblings and fighting for leftovers. I want to eat it all myself. Just for me.”

The demand left Yoojin speechless. Where did his little kid get such an appetite? What was worse, how was Yoojin supposed to get her all that at this hour? He didn’t even know of a place that sold lobster dishes in town.

And how was she supposed to finish a panettone by herself?

Sung Hyunjae nodded, sealing the deal like some kind of devil in disguise. “If that’s what you wish.”

Yoojin turned to him. “Hold on. That’s a lot to ask for.”

Sung Hyunjae winked. “Compared to the skates for the little miss or the gear for the other children?”

Yoojin’s cheeks reddened. He had forgotten how greedy his kids were.

He lowered his voice and leaned closer. Sung Hyunjae comfortably leaned his shoulder back against Yoojin. “Where are we going to get those things at this hour? It’s not like we can just walk into a restaurant and demand they serve us things that aren’t on the menu.”

“I know a place. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

Yoojin chewed on his bottom lip, still not convinced this was a good idea.

Chirpie tugged on the hem of Yoojin’s robe. “I also want you to carry me.”

“Oh,” Yoojin answered in surprise. “I can do that.”

He handed his cane over to Sung Hyunjae, only to receive a twisted expression from the other person.

Realizing that not everyone would want to lug around a cane, Yoojin retracted his hand. While trying to figure out how to hold both Chirpie and the cane, he offered an apology.

“You’re willing to give that up so quickly. Even though you’re in pain?”

Yoojin told Sung Hyunjae to lower his voice, reassuring Chirpie he was alright.

“It’ll be fine for a short while.”

Sung Hyunjae leaned in, bending his back to look Yoojin in the eye. The tall man stared him in the eye. The lack of distance made Yoojin gasp and grip his cane tighter. So close, while so many people were still around.

“Didn’t I say I would take responsibility as your date?”

“…yes, but that was for—”

“Then this is also my responsibility.”

“No. You don’t have to—”

Sung Hyunjae gazed down at the small girl for a moment before bending his knees to face her at eye level. Chirpie’s eyebrows rose. Her lack of reaction showed just how innocent she really was. While the mob boss in front of her demonstrated immense respect, it would make anyone else faint with envy or shock.

“Wouldn’t you rather let me carry you? I’m much taller.”

As if to confirm what he said was true, Chirpie’s first reaction was to judge the top of Yoojin’s head with Sung Hyunjae. Once confirmed, the idea elated her.

She reached for him. “Yes, please.”

Yoojin had to look away and cover his mouth. He wished his camera weren’t broken. Sung Hyunjae, a man who once broke into his church late at night with a gun on his side, now held a small child over his shoulders after promising her any gift she wanted.

“Yay!” Chirpie cheered, lifting her arms into the air.

Sung Hyunjae didn’t even seem to mind when she pulled his hair to balance herself. Blond strands gripped between her tiny fingers.

“I’m so tall! I can see everything.”

Yoojin expected Sung Hyunjae to look awkward or uncomfortable, but he held her naturally. Two hands cupped her shoes while crushed bits of flowers sprinkled over his coat.

She grinned, showing all her teeth. Resting her chin on the top of his head like a bird nesting on a strong perch, she asked, “Can you run?”

“I don’t think Father Yoojin could keep up with me.”

“We should race!”

“Alright.”

Yoojin’s mouth dropped as they sprinted away.

“Wheeeeee!” Chirpie was thrown back from the burst of speed. Sung Hyunjae’s hands on her shoes kept her in place. Yoojin’s worried heart leaped as he chased after the giggling child and his date.

The restaurant had been overflowing with a long wait, but as a group of three entered, they were shown to a table right away. Not even the annoyed guest in the queue said anything as the group was led to the best table in the establishment.

Chirpie not only got a panettone for herself, but a plate of lobster fra diavolo that could’ve fed an army.

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers, sparkling like diamonds. She ate it all. There was no need for a takeaway box. Every drop of sauce was licked clean, and the crumbs vanished. Where did it even go? The plate was wider than her waist! The little evidence that it wasn’t an illusion was her thick stomach and fatigue after finishing such a meal all by herself.

“You don’t have to hold her like that,” Yoojin told Sung Hyunjae as they walked back to the church.

“It’s not that far,” Sung Hyunjae responded, holding Chirpie in his arms as the young girl hugged her flowers.

The thick, dark dress coat Sung Hyunjae had worn that night wrapped protectively over her shoulders as the night grew colder. She slept like a bloated angel. With rosy cheeks and white hair that seemed blue in the cloudy moonlight.

Yoojin watched Sung Hyunjae since they left the car.

He admired how, even at night, his eyes seemed to capture the surrounding light. His once golden hair looked irresistibly dark. Very similar to how they first met in the dim church, but at the same time very different. Something had changed, but Yoojin couldn’t exactly say what. All he could do was stare at the beautiful figure before him.

“Are you alright? If she’s too heavy, you can put her down.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then is something else wrong?”

Sung Hyunjae turned to him.

There was a tightness in Yoojin’s belly as Sung Hyunjae stood that close to him again. Eyes brighter than the hazy light coming from church windows, hair as smooth as silk, and lips so full they seem to draw the gaze downward.

“Yoojin.”

His eyes lifted from Sung Hyunjae’s lips, widening as he caught the solemnity in the other man’s voice.

As he was about to answer, Chirpie stirred.

“…mmmhh…but I didn’t get dessert…”

Yoojin’s brows pinched together, and his jaw ticked.

He told Sung Hyunjae to put her down, and when the sleepy little child stood on her own feet, Yoojin couldn’t hold back. His children had all turned spoiled in a single week. He scolded Chirpie about her manners, and she clasped her hands and bowed her head.

After Yoojin’s not too harsh lecture, she apologized for not appreciating Sung Hyunjae’s generosity. She thanked him for the wonderful gift and for attending her choir. She bowed her head to him and then, unexpectedly, hugged him.

“Um…” Yoojin stepped closer to intervene, but lowered his hand.

Sung Hyunjae stood awkwardly, staring down at her as if he didn’t know what to do. Seeing the calculating yet sometimes careless man act so unsure gave Yoojin greater pause.

Not many people liked Yoojin’s kids. It wasn’t hard to tell. People didn’t hide their dislikes.

Sung Hyunjae’s hesitation didn’t stem from aversion but instead from being cautious. Like a man holding origami paper in his hand. Something so fragile that a single erroneous crease could ruin the entire piece.

In the end, Yoojin was there to pull Chirpie back by the shoulders and told her to say her goodnights to him and go to bed.

She ran off, still wearing Sung Hyunjae’s jacket.

Yoojin tried to stop her, but Sung Hyunjae laughed. She was already too far gone, and Yoojin couldn’t chase her down with his cane.

“I’m sorry about your coat! I’ll return…”

His mouth dried as he turned to Sung Hyunjae. The other man looked at him with a lingering shadow covering half his face.

“Yoojin.”

“…yes?”

He wasn’t expecting his voice to shake that much. Or for his heart to fill with chaos. His feet unexpectedly stepped back. He wasn’t sure what Sung Hyunjae would say next, but the anticipation ate at him, leaving him terrified at the unknown sensation.

Two forces fought against each other. He so badly wanted to reach for Sung Hyunjae at that moment. Yet his rigid morals shouted at him to focus on his duties. A cautious realization left him wondering if he had room in his life to explore these new feelings or if he was destined for solitude.

Sung Hyunjae reached for him but stopped, lowering his hand as if telling himself to hold back. The same emotions that had Yoojin backing up seemed to cause Sung Hyunjae to hesitate.

It was regrettable to witness. It wouldn’t be so bad if Sung Hyunjae had continued. Where would that hand have gone? Was it for the best to stop now?

Everything felt unbalanced and as if it was moving too fast for him to make a proper decision. Unsure what to do, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

It was at that moment, as his lips parted, that a streak of lightning shot across the sky, brightening everything for a moment with color before blacking out.

He blinked against the contrasting darkness, and when his eyes cleared, the thunderous sound of rain drummed down on them. In seconds his hair was flattened, water weighed down his robes, and puddles flooded the walkway. Yoojin had thought it would rain at some point during the night, but not for this level of storm to appear out of nowhere.

And Sung Hyunjae didn’t even have his coat anymore.

Yoojin took Sung Hyunjae’s arm and ran for cover into the nearby building.

His apartment, the humble house attached to the church grounds, shielded them from the storm.

Closing the door behind them, Yoojin glanced at the state Sung Hyunjae was in.

Water had soaked through the white dress shirt. It clung to his chest, giving a detailed outline of everything underneath. The dip of his collarbone was particularly interesting. How it drew attention to the definition of his upper body and slim waist was fascinating.

Yoojin turned away, nearly choking on his tongue. “I-I’m really sorry about your coat. I’ll return…”

Sung Hyunjae raised his arm and pushed his wet hair off his forehead. The muscles on his side stretched, and his shirt slightly rode up. The tight fabric pulled over his stomach, giving a translucent view of pale skin.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” He grinned, and it was heart stopping. “I think this is a sign I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“No. Wait.” Yoojin took his hand. They stood so close Yoojin could smell the rain mixing with his skin. “You can’t go like that. It’s still raining. You’ll catch your death. At least dry off first and wait for the storm to pass.”

Sung Hyunjae was annoyingly tall. That’s why Yoojin had trouble meeting his eyes. Not because the outline of his nipples showed through the thin, wet fabric.

“Who am I to disagree?” Sung Hyunjae smirked.

Yoojin took Sung Hyunjae to his small living room while he ran to the bathroom to grab towels. He took a minute to change out of his wet robes so that they could dry and came out wearing gray sweatpants and a dark hoodie.

Yoojin stepped out just in time to witness Sung Hyunjae removing his wet shirt.

He swallowed and looked away. “Here.” He offered him the towel with his head turned away.

They were both guys, but no matter how far he turned his head, he could still see Sung Hyunjae like a radiant light in a dark room. His eyes trembled as he fought not to look.

The towel was left floating in the air. No one took it. Without looking, Yoojin tried moving closer, offering the towel at a higher angle in case Sung Hyunjae didn’t see it.

Sung Hyunjae chuckled.

Yoojin’s head shot around and his cheeks began to burn.

Sung Hyunjae stood confidently before him with his hand on his hip. “Is something wrong, Father?”

“No...” Yoojin was quick to shake his head. “You look…cold.”

“I’m actually burning up.”

“…”

Yoojin quickly inhaled, his eyes widened as Sung Hyunjae sauntered closer, standing over him. Sung Hyunjae’s lips curved into a suggestive grin.

“Father, what kind of priest gives another man a look like that?”

Not sure what to say, Yoojin threw the towel at him and sprinted to the kitchen, shouting something about bringing him an ice drink. He peeked over his shoulder right as Sung Hyunjae wiped the towel over his chest and down his stomach.

Yoojin buried his head in the fridge. Maybe he needed something cold as well. The chilly air helped his burning cheeks a little.

His heart rate was elevated and wouldn’t come down no matter how long he waited. Not able to leave Sung Hyunjae waiting any longer, he returned and offered the other man a drink.

“Thank you.” Sung Hyunjae had thrown the slightly wet towel over his shoulder instead of laying it on Yoojin’s furniture. “Do you mind if I sit?”

Yoojin nodded. The initial shock had passed, and the towel covered him quite a bit. He even joined Sung Hyunjae on the couch. Their knees almost touched.

Sung Hyunjae drank his glass of water while Yoojin stared down at his own. Was Sung Hyunjae immune to this awkwardness? Carefully glancing up, Yoojin met his eyes and looked away.

“…can I ask you something?”

“As long as it’s not about my appearance. Those are dangerous questions right now.”

“Stop it,” Yoojin chastised. He closed his eyes, but his mind still raced back to the memory of him taking his shirt off.

He focused on the question that had been drifting in his head for days now.

“Why have you been so kind to me?”

The teasing smile drained from Sung Hyunjae’s face as if it had been an illusion. Suddenly he seemed colder and more alert. A brief memory filled Yoojin’s mind of the first night they had met, a wounded man holding his gun while a priest approached him.

“I can’t answer that directly.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I can’t put an answer into words for myself even, but…” He set down his glass and moved closer to Yoojin.

Yoojin moved back, but the side of the couch knocked into his side and water dripped out of his glass.

Sung Hyunjae was fast to catch the glass before more water fell and moved it to the side table. Yoojin had nothing to hide behind now. Their thighs touched, and he was indeed burning up.

The obscene view as the towel slipped off Sung Hyunjae’s shoulder and revealed pale, damp skin left Yoojin’s mouth dry.

“I know I haven’t answered your question, but do you mind if I ask one of my own?” Sung Hyunjae watched Yoojin closely until he gave a jolted nod. “The night we first met, why did you give me that expired medicine?”

Yoojin grimaced. Crap. Did it look like Yoojin was trying to poison him?

How disrespectful to give someone of Sung Hyunjae’s position something like that. It was as good as serving spoiled dishes at a restaurant to a food critic. In the end, both your career and life would be over.

“I didn’t know it was expired. I mean, I had suspicions. Not that I’m denying that it was. I just didn’t keep the original packaging. So I didn’t…I…I’m sorry?”

Yoojin’s apology did nothing to erase the seriousness from Sung Hyunjae’s face. His daunting posture made Yoojin shrink even further into the couch cushions.

“Did it upset you that much?” Yoojin asked. “I didn’t do it with malice.”

Sung Hyunjae was slow to respond, making Yoojin’s nerves grow higher with each second that passed.

“You knew nothing about me, but you gave me the last medicine pouch you had. Why not keep it for yourself or one of the children?”

Yoojin answered without even needing to consider the possibilities. Such an obvious question had only one answer.

“Because you needed it.”

Sung Hyunjae’s lip twitched, and his eyes saddened. “You gave away all you had.”

“It wasn’t that much,” Yoojin answered as he tried to deflect Sung Hyunjae’s claim.

It was just one little pouch of medicine. While it might've been the last, certainly there would be more. Eventually… Especially now, with the new funding coming in.

Sung Hyunjae sighed deeply. “No one had ever given me that much before.”

The somber voice startled Yoojin.

Did everyone assume Sung Hyunjae was immune to needing help because he was wealthy and stood tall? Had no one ever shared a single pack of medicine with him before? The idea infuriated him. Such a kind man deserved more care than that. Surely someone had…

Sung Hyunjae’s lips parted, and he laughed. “Did what I say really make you that mad? You should see your face right now.”

“My face?”

Yoojin touched the tightened muscles in his cheeks and the lines over his forehead. He had indeed been angry, but he didn’t think he was showing it this poorly.

“Do you realize how much I would have to give you in return to make us even? Monetarily, it would be easy for me. A single package of medicine is nothing. However for you, it was a sacrifice… have you even the money to replace it?”

Yoojin didn’t respond out of embarrassment.

With a comforting hand on Yoojin’s shoulder, Sung Hyunjae continued.

“A rich man donating a hundred dollars is seen as generous, but little does anyone know he’s making thousands per hour. While a poor man who donates a single dollar is considered cheap, but that was the only dollar he had to his name. So who gave more?”

Warmth spread where Sung Hyunjae touched. His hand slowly descending, the pad of his finger brushed against Yoojin’s neck.

“The donations and gifts for the children are nothing to me. I would have to go broke to completely make us even.”

Yoojin's brows drew together. “I didn’t do it for you to owe me.”

“I know.” Sung Hyunjae sounded like he was about to laugh again. “You didn’t wish to see me again. You would’ve been happy watching over the orphans on a modest budget and looking after the church with no reward. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

“I’m sure there are others like me. I’m not…as good as you think.”

Sung Hyunjae’s hand swept over Yoojin’s cheek, caressing his ear and the edge of his jaw. “I’ve met enough people to say this with accuracy, not flattery.”

Yoojin’s eyes widened, and his heart skipped. Sung Hyunjae’s fingers brushed the edge of his neck, and his eyes fluttered.

“Ohhh.”

 Sung Hyunjae tilted his head, angling it differently than before and lowering so his breath tickled Yoojin’s lips. Even though Yoojin gasped, he didn’t push him away or turn, even though his heart stilled. It was Sung Hyunjae who stopped, pulling away until he was sitting back up, far away from the promise of a kiss.

Yoojin’s wide eyes swept over him. Confused about what had pushed him so close, only to stop at the last second.

Sung Hyunjae wiped a hand over his eyes and bit out his response. “I’m sorry, Father. I seem to only be thinking of ways to corrupt you. I can’t stay any longer.”

“That’s not a funny joke to play on a priest,” Yoojin said and hit his shoulder. His breathing still hadn’t slowed down, and now his face was red with embarrassment.

What kind of monster pretends to want to kiss a priest?

Sung Hyunjae lowered his hand, and the anguish in his eyes left Yoojin speechless.

“It wasn’t a joke.”

For a moment, they stared at each other. Yoojin’s lips trembled as he stared up at the man he had been secretly admiring. While Sung Hyunjae’s hands were steady, the pulse in his wrist was beating like mad.

For too long they stayed frozen. Sung Hyunjae fought to restrain himself while Yoojin was too stunned to move.

After what felt like a very long time, but was no more than a single minute, Sung Hyunjae pulled away. “I’m sorry, Father. I’ll be leaving now.”

He stood, threatening to leave while Yoojin’s blood raced with a feeling he had never felt before. After saying all that, he was just going to leave?

Yoojin realized he couldn’t let him go.

That his own restraint was much weaker than Sung Hyunjae’s. That he would regret everything once he walked out. He liked him despite being a gangster. He even enjoyed bringing him lunch. Their dates meant a lot to him, as did their time with the children. No one attempted to build a relationship with him the way Sung Hyunjae had. Even if all he ever got was these fleetingly brief encounters, Yoojin didn’t want them to end.

“Wait!” Yoojin grabbed him.

Sung Hyunjae looked at him, surprised. “That’s dangerous right now. This is the only warning I can give you.”

“There’s something I want to tell you,” Yoojin said, his eyes flickering away and his hand trembling.

Sung Hyunjae raised an eyebrow as Yoojin’s words caught his interest. Even when Yoojin couldn’t look him in the eye, he sat back down, but not as close as before.

Yoojin’s fist clenched. He glanced at Sung Hyunjae and then away, biting his lip.

“I’ve never told anyone this, so please listen first before you judge me.”

“How can someone like me ever judge you?”

Sung Hyunjae had said it like a joke, but when Yoojin didn’t react, his expression grew serious.

It took Yoojin several tries before he could speak. Even then he had to stop and clear his throat. A pressure weighed down on his chest so strongly that he thought his lungs would burst.

He had imagined telling someone his secret before, only to imagine himself immediately bursting into flames afterwards. The true feeling of confessing left him feeling much worse.

“I’m not a priest.”

“What?” Sung Hyunjae asked, blinking several times.

“I didn’t mean for it to get this out of hand, but please believe me when I say I was young and didn’t know what else to do.”

He paused, never looking at Sung Hyunjae to see how he was reacting, and only focused on his own breathing. He hoped not to hyperventilate. The deep breaths he took never reached his lungs.

“I was once one of the children who attended this orphanage. I lived with my brother. At the time, the last priest—the one you heard about from the other townsfolk—wasn’t very good…the conditions were…they were just bothersome for everyone, but it didn’t really matter. Most kids left at fifteen or as soon as they could get a good enough job. I was about to leave with my brother. We were going to go to the city.”

Yoojin covered his hands. They were shaking badly but slowly calmed down after remembering the sweet plans he used to make with his brother. The joy they had about leaving this wicked place and finding something better.

“When I was fifteen, the priest disappeared. Normally we could find him at the brewery or in the alleys behind it. It was even ordinary for him to be missing for a few days, but this time, he never came back.”

Yoojin scratched his neck nervously.

The orphanage was much different back then.

Church donations would vanish as soon as they hit the collection plate. Rations were limited to things the priest couldn’t pawn for cash. He and the rest of the children learned to stay quiet and hidden during the day, and at night they would work to earn an allowance to pay for their necessities.

“It was actually better once the priest was gone,” Yoojin said with no remorse for the missing man.

“If we could’ve lived forever without him, we would have been the happiest we had ever been, but things got tricky. Unpaid utilities began to pile up. Inspectors showed up. Police treated the missing priest investigation seriously and asked who was watching us. If they found out no one was taking care of us, the orphanage would be shut down. The funding would disappear and they’re wouldn’t be any place for the young children to go.”

Yoojin’s fingers bit into his palm.

A sharp pain reminded him of how scared he had been, not just for him and his brother, but for the vulnerable children. Yoo Myeongwoo was so much younger back then. Too young to remember Yoojin at the time. But even if Yoojin had made his decision out of his need to protect, it was still the biggest sin of heresy and fraud the town had ever seen.

“I wasn’t the best kid.” Yoojin subconsciously touched his bad knee. “I got into fights a lot. I fought with the old priest and the gangsters to try to force them away several times…”

Sung Hyunjae’s gaze dropped to Yoojin’s knee, and his lips thinned.

“But I was the oldest,” Yoojin admitted. “And one day I just took an old set of robes that didn’t even fit me. It wasn’t that hard after that. Mostly paperwork. Someone just had to sign the forms to keep this place running. Then the church opened its doors again, and everything went back to how it was before. Better now that the old priest was gone, and I never told anyone about any of this. Until you.”

Yoojin glanced at Sung Hyunjae for the first time to see his face.

The blank, nearly dazed look wasn’t what Yoojin was expecting. Maybe he wanted Sung Hyunjae to be mad or disgusted that Yoojin had violated his trust. He expected shouts and harsh words. The silence was harder than anything to listen to.

“You’re the only one I told. So please don’t tell anyone. No one else knows. Well…a few people know. Moon Hyuna left the orphanage the year before me. I still remember the look on her face when she came back with donations after she started working.”

Yoojin laughed to himself, reminiscing about the old days.

‘‘And looking back, I think Bishop Taewon knew. He never said anything, but his treatment has always been particular. Normally he only visits the clergy in his diocese once every few months, but for me he stayed for weeks at a time, lecturing me about my schedule and how I should manage things. He even wrote my sermons for a whole year. At first, I just thought he was meticulous, but he doesn’t even try to hide it anymore.”

“…”

Yoojin took a very painful breath. Sung Hyunjae's lack of response was telling. While he didn’t expect forgiveness, he had hoped it wouldn’t go this badly.

“… you gave up everything just like that?” Sung Hyunjae muttered, his lips barely moving.

Yoojin lifted his head. “What was that?”

The small space between them vanished as Yoojin felt arms tighten around him. The warmth that pierced his chest was immersive in that moment. An ominous chill spread over Yoojin during his confession, but now, locked in another man’s arms, he was reminded how warm another body could be.

Hugged so tightly, he could even feel the other man’s breath on his neck.

“You were shivering. Did you realize that?”

No? He had felt cold, but was he really?

“Would you let me hold you for a moment?”

Of course. Yoojin wouldn’t have told him to let go anyway. Not when the scent of skin and rain mixed so well together, or those large arms wrapped so protectively around him.

The nightmare of his childhood vanished from his mind, and he closed his eyes, relaxing into the embrace. Soon the chill vanished, replaced with something coveted and warm.

“You’re such a foolish man,” Sung Hyunjae said.

“Pardon?”

His back hit the couch, and Sung Hyunjae knelt over him, staring down with a menacing look and a dark smile. “I honored your boundaries because I respected you, but the restraint I showed you was out of reverence for your vows. Not even I would allow myself to tarnish the reputation of a holy man. But now…”

Yoojin blinked up at him while chills and waves of shock still tingled over his skin. “Now?”

Sung Hyunjae chuckled, smiling even wider.

“How can I hold back now? After hearing how hard you have worked your whole life? I feel like I can’t take my hands off you. I gave you so many chances to push me away, and instead you trusted me with your secret?”

That deep voice encapsulated him so severely that he shuddered. A steady hand brushed his lips.

“And now you’re in this predicament.”

The low light mixed with the thunderous rain gave Sung Hyunjae a dark illusion as he towered over Yoojin. As chilly winds seeped through the old wooden planks and the storm rattled the windows, Yoojin couldn’t feel anything except the growing warmth between them.

His past didn’t bother Sung Hyunjae? He thought Yoojin had worked hard?

He raised his arms. Sung Hyunjae didn’t flinch when Yoojin touched his cheek. Or when his fingers drifted down and locked behind his neck.

He licked his lips. “I’m not asking you to hold back.”

That mischievous grin vanished, and the more gentle, compassionate man that Yoojin was more familiar with returned.

“You really do lack awareness.”

Despite the soft insult, Yoojin’s resolve didn’t lessen. “If it’s with you, I don’t mind.”

“Saying things like that…Do you know what’s going through my mind while I hold someone who hasn’t even had his first kiss?”

The stern warning in his words was lost to Yoojin as soon as he heard the word kiss.

“Then be my first.”

“…”

Sung Hyunjae’s mouth tightly sealed. His brows pinched together, and his breath rushed out. Behind Yoojin, hands balled into fists and tension trembled up the arms around him.

Sung Hyunjae held back.

The taller man audibly swallowed.

“This will be my first time I kiss you. Do you know how many times I’ve held back when it was all I could think of? How I imagined it would be as I watched you from across the room. This will be the first time I let my desire win over my control. And you’re saying you trust me?”

“Really?” A delighted but nervous smile spread over Yoojin’s lips. “I didn’t know you thought all that.”

Sung Hyunjae lowered his head into the crook of Yoojin’s neck. The breath against his exposed skin made him stiffen, but as soft lips touched him, he shuddered.

“Ah…”

“Thank you for sharing your secret with me.”

When lips touched him again, firmer this time, his eyes shut, and he gasped.

“I’ll have to take responsibility for my troublemaker of a date from now on, won’t I? His skills for getting into strange situations desperately require someone like me to look after him.”

His words were barely heard, nibbling on Yoojin’s jaw and cheek as he spoke. Moving closer to Yoojin’s mouth in such a way as to drive someone crazy.

“Hmm…”

Yoojin gasped as Sung Hyunjae moved away just as his lips touched the corner of his mouth. His breath was running out and he couldn’t fill his lungs properly. A bead of sweat formed over Sung Hyunjae’s brow.

Yoojin couldn’t hold back any longer.

The desire he witnessed in the other man’s gold eyes was too much to bear. He shot up, catching Sung Hyunjae by his shoulders and kissing him.

While nothing more than a chaste kiss, it caused Yoojin’s belly to burn and ears to ring. The excitement that flooded through him left his fingers tingling. He had never imagined something so soft. His body craved it so swiftly that he couldn’t let go.

Blinded by the wonderful man in front of him, Yoojin clung to him even harder.

Arms wrapped around him. They gripped him fiercely while slowly exposing his sensitive skin.

Sung Hyunjae returned Yoojin’s innocent kiss with one of his own. A gentle sensation that satisfied something deep inside him.

He felt rejuvenated. Unrushed. And cherished. They could stop now and Yoojin could treasure this moment for the rest of his life, dying happily with the tender memory.

However the kiss didn’t end. Sung Hyunjae opened his mouth and sucked on Yoojin’s bottom lip. He slowly coaxed Yoojin to open up as well.

In a process that was both surprisingly slow and sweet, teaching without words, exploring without demanding, Yoojin finally had his first genuine kiss, and it was wonderful. He gripped Sung Hyunjae, unable to take his hands off, and opened his mouth for more.

Following Sung Hyunjae’s lead, he lost track of his surroundings and time. He felt the flicker of a tongue and dared to match him. It wasn’t until the storm had passed and his lips were swollen that their first kiss ended.

It was late, almost noon, when Yoojin woke up. His room was empty. Was last night a dream? Touching his swollen lips, he remembered how passionately he had embraced his first kiss.

The uplifting memory swelled within him. Never had he had a more perfect night.

When he rushed to the orphanage, thinking he had missed the kid’s breakfast and lunch, he nearly fell into the small kitchen when Peace looked up at him.

With a raised eyebrow, Peace asked, “Are you alright?”

Wiping sweat from his forehead and fixing his disheveled clothes that he had hastily thrown on, Yoojin glanced around. “What’s going on?”

“Father’s awake!”

“Are you feeling better?”

“Rich-ahjussi said the storm last night made you sick.”

The eight orphans clattered around the large, wooden table, happily eating away.

Yoojin lifted his gaze and met the smiling eyes of Sung Hyunjae.

The handsome man had stolen an apron and was busy over the stove. His smile only widened as he spotted Yoojin. “Sit. I can make you something as well.”

“…”

It hadn’t been a dream. That wonderful kiss that had scorched itself into his memory was real. And the proof was currently frying eggs in his kitchen.

The children were too preoccupied with their feast to notice Yoojin turning red.

It wasn’t until Sung Hyunjae had transferred freshly cooked dishes from the stove to the table that he took Yoojin by the shoulders and led him to an empty seat. Slightly dazed, Yoojin relaxed under the weight of his hands.

Sung Hyunjae lowered his head, his mouth nearly touching Yoojin’s sensitive ear as he spoke.

“What kind of kitchen lacks basic necessities? Not even a world class chef could scrape together enough ingredients to make something nourishing for this many kids.”

“We’re on a budget.”

“Hmm,” Sung Hyunjae scolded. “What about the new funding from the city? Wouldn’t this be the first thing you splurged on?”

Yoojin shook his head. “We’ll be lucky to see that money in the next fiscal year. If next year’s budget has already been approved, then additions this late will be transferred to the following year.”

Anything with the city took time to an unreasonable degree. It was best not to even think about that money, let alone start budgeting for it.

Sung Hyunjae stood. “Let me fix that.”

Yoojin snickered while enjoying seeing how tall Sung Hyunjae was next to him.

“What are you going to do? Call the mayor and make him pay me faster?”

Sung Hyunjae didn’t answer, merely skipped back to the oven. Something about that avoidance made Yoojin think of the man in the red coat he had seen at City Hall. The man he mistook for Sung Hyunjae. Just how many people in this town had similar builds and red coats?

Sung Hyunjae picked up another plate and set it down at the table. Mountains of eggs and sausage disappeared within seconds under the children’s blurry hands. They acted like they had been starved, but there were still stacks of plain rice and flavorless oatmeal in the cupboards they refused to eat.

Yoojin blinked. No he wasn’t seeing incorrectly. Among the many empty serving plates were the torn remains of takeout bags. Reading the label, it was from a famous bakery. It looked like sharks had torn it apart.

Just for his kids, Sung Hyunjae had bought groceries, ordered famous pastries, and cooked over a hot stove all morning.

Sung Hyunjae turned around with a dark coffee in his hand and set it down for Yoojin.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I think you’re a good man.”

It was the little things he did that melted Yoojin’s heart. There were so many at this point that it was hard to name them all.

Sung Hyunjae’s hand flinched. He slowly released his grip on the coffee cup and put his hand on the back of Yoojin's chair. The children were too distracted to notice the shift in their behavior. Yoojin’s throat felt tight. He really had so much to thank Sung Hyunjae for.

He had given back more than a single, expired medicine pouch could ever be worth. But Sung Hyunjae stared at Yoojin, aware this was the least he could do.

“Hyung!” The front door creaked open.

Yoojin turned towards the unseen door, briefly forgetting everything around him. The front door was not visible from the kitchen, but he gazed forward as if he were looking at the most adorable person in the world.

The reactions of the children sitting at the table were different. Their food froze on their forks, and groans replaced the sound of tableware hitting plates.

“Oh…he’s back.”

“Maybe he’ll leave quickly.”

“He had better not touch our breakfast.”

The corner of Sung Hyunjae’s eyes twitched. “Are you expecting someone?”

Yoojin was already joyfully awaiting the guest to reach the kitchen. Unable to hear the strife in Sung Hyunjae’s voice or the disheartened groans from the children, he answered in a delightful tone, “It’s my brother.”

“Your brother?” Sung Hyunjae repeated, glancing at the children. The well-bribed children offered him a variety of responses. Some just shook their heads while others offered advice.

“Ignore him…if you can.”

“He’ll only give you a hard time if you try to get between him and Father Yoojin.”

“Ugh, he’ll probably be here all weekend.”

“He has a…temper.”

“I thought he was too busy with his medical courses to visit…”

“He’s going to be a doctor someday, so maybe then he’ll be too busy to barge in like this.”

None of the children shared Yoojin’s enthusiasm for his brother’s visit.

“Medical courses?” Sung Hyunjae raised his eyebrow, glancing at Yoojin with a particular look. “How interesting for a poor orphan to afford that many years of school. Would being the brother of a certain priest have anything to do with his tuition?”

Yoojin looked proud but tried to hide a few secrets. “He got a lot of scholarships and worked really hard, but I pulled a lot of strings…”

Money was never something the orphanage had abundant of. To some, it looked impossible to give the children a good future.

Not many knew that Yoojin had grown up, not in a proper life of priesthood or studying, but on the streets. He would do anything to see the children find a better life. He had done similar things for other children to find careers and build lives for themselves. Like Yoo Myeongwoo’s apprenticeship.

“You’re such a cute priest when you talk like that,” Sung Hyunjae said with a grin.

“Huh?”

“Hyung,” Yoohyun-ie rounded the corner with a bag over his shoulder. He didn’t bother greeting the children, nor did they show interest in him. Instead he turned to his brother with a gleaming smile that fell the moment his eyes spotted the man behind him.

“Who the hell are you?”

Several of the kid’s heads snapped up. “He cursed! Shouldn’t you kick him out?”

“You made me pick weeds for an hour last time I cursed.”

“He’s a bad influence on us. That’s probably why I failed my last math test too.”

Yoojin flinched under the bombardment, but that didn’t make him any less happy to see his brother. “Yoohyun-ie! I’ve missed you. Thank you for visiting.”

Yoojin stood from the table and hugged him. Had he grown taller again? No one would look at them and guess Yoohyun was his little brother.

As Yoojin was pondering his brother’s new height, Yoohyun glared daggers at Sung Hyunjae. He probably recognized the apron Sung Hyunjae wore, or questioned what someone other than the staff was doing there. Or the slightly wrinkled clothes with signs of having been rained on from the night before.

“You should leave,” Yoohyun said so rudely that Yoojin gasped.

Sung Hyunjae smiled. “I see the family resemblance. Your brother said something similar the first time we met.”

“Yoohyun-ie, don’t be crude,” Yoojin warned. “This is a good friend. He’s been very helpful to the church, and the children love him.”

“What does it matter what they think? They’re just kids.”

The children shot him glares behind his back.

“Besides,” Yoohyun said while looking Sung Hyunjae up and down, “he doesn’t look like a good person.”

“Don’t judge by looks. He’s a good man. He’s helped so much with the children. You should see the repairs he’s made to the church.”

“And we’ll be going on our third date soon,” Sung Hyunjae said.

“Third date?” Yoojin and Yoohyun said at the same time. While they both took a minute to process the information, the children snickered.

“Looks like rich-ahjussi is staying another night,” one of them whispered. Yoojin felt his face turn a deep shade of red.

“I hope they keep dating. I’m going to ask for a pool when the weather warms up.”

“Do you think they’re going to get married and get one of those fifteen-tier wedding cakes?”

The not so quiet whispers continued. While Yoojin’s face burned red, Yoohyun’s face slowly descended into shadows with his eyes darkening.

Sung Hyunjae took this moment to extend his hand to him. “It may be late, but let me introduce myself. You may call me Sung Hyunjae, since I’m so close to your brother you might as well refer to me as your brother-in-law—”

Yoojin smacked his stomach, but not in time to end that audacious claim. The children were laughing even harder now.

With wide eyes, Yoojin turned to his brother in panic. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Fire burned in Yoohyun’s eyes as he glared at the other man. “I’m calling the police.”

“Yoohyun-ie, wait!”

A fight almost broke out.

Luckily the police weren’t called, but a lot of nasty words were said. The children seemed to enjoy inciting the chaos. In the end, as an apology for the ruined breakfast, Sung Hyunjae promised them a pool.

Since then, they had been running all kinds of intel about Yoojin and his brother to him. The little traitors were much greedier than Yoojin could ever have imagined.

That night, Yoohyun claimed he wouldn’t go back to school knowing ‘that man’ was near. He threatened to drop out at that moment to come home and watch over Yoojin.

With an expression of sorrow, Sung Hyunjae said goodbye to Yoojin.

It was a moment of misery. His heart pulsed with pain, but he agreed to the farewell.

Yoohyun slept in the downstairs of Yoojin’s apartment in a way that reminded Yoojin of a guard dog, watching the door and waiting to attack anyone who dared to enter.

Yoojin’s bedroom was lonely, but not for long.

As the sun set and the sky became pitch black, something tapped on his bedroom window. Throwing open the old glass, Yoojin couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Has anyone ever snuck into your room before?”

Yoojin laughed. “That’s something that's never happened.”

Sung Hyunjae smiled. “Am I your first with this as well?”

Yoojin nodded, pulling him into his room. They quickly fell into each other’s arms. Their lips met, and a warmth of emotions flooded him. How many more firsts were Sung Hyunjae going to share with him? And were all of them going to feel this satisfying? He could only guess, though the odds were high.

When he was able to pull free of the kiss and catch his breath, Yoojin asked, “So when is our third date going to be?”

“I was thinking as soon as possible.”

“Hmm. Won’t that take too long?”

Kisses fluttered over Yoojin’s eyes and nose. “Then how about in the morning?”

“I think I can wait that long. As long as you stay the night again.”

“That can be arranged,” Sung Hyunjae said and kissed him again.

Fin