Chapter Text
Coco woke up feeling like she hadn't sleep at all.
Her body was heavy, her head full of cotton and a yawning emptiness weighing down her chest.
The events of yesterday had been replaying in her head over and over. How useless she stood there, wasting maybe her only chance of escape. The disappointment she felt at herself that she didn't doubt her father would have mirrored if he knew what she's done. Or didn't do, really.
She curled up tighter in on herself, laying in her bed with no intentions of getting up and staring blankly at the wall.
The light coming through the window was still thin, but with each passed minute the sun raised higher and higher above the horizon, flooding the bedroom in warm morning light.
A bad habit from her childhood reared its head back into her life.
Anytime she felt upset or overwhelmed by her emotions she would refuse to move from the bed.
Father had hated it, seeing it as a pointless waste of precious time. He usually countered this little stunt by leaving her be. He wouldn't engage with her, wouldn't come to check up on her.
Instead he waited till she herself went to him to apologize and cry for him to forgive him and acknowledge her again.
The longer it took for Coco to come after him, the more he distanced himself. Even going as far to leave for a mission for a day or two.
She despised when he did that.
The memory made her chest ache, so she pushed it away to the back of her mind, tugging the covers closer to herself.
It wasn't long before she heard footsteps approach her door, followed by a soft, familiar knock on her door.
Hearing the creaking of the door opening, she knew Master Qifrey was poking his head inside, his gentle smile on his face.
She remained with her back to the man.
"Breakfast is ready," his voice informed her.
She didn't answer him, didn't even react.
The older witch waited for a moment before he knocked again.
"Oculus?" He called out to her.
Coco stayed silent.
She heard him sigh.
It was a different sigh from that of disappointment, heavier, almost worried.
Then, footsteps, walking away and the door softly clicking shut.
Coco felt something in her chest do an ugly twist.
He left.
Just like father did.
Momentarily she was glad she didn't watch him go.
It would be all too similar to her father's retreating figure.
They did look pretty alike...
But then she heard footsteps again.
The door opened.
"I noticed you're not getting up," Qifrey said through the crack in the door.
"I brought you some sweet milky buns." He hummed and Coco heard him place a plate on the table by the door.
"If you need anything," he continued, "don't hesitate to call on me. I'll be in the kitchen."
The door closed again and Coco was yet again consumed by her thoughts.
Hours passed and Coco didn't move an inch.
She had dissolved into quiet cries at some point during the past hour.
Tears just started leaking out and no matter what she did, she couldn't stop them from falling.
She wiped the salty tears and snot away from her face by the back of her sleeve, pressing her palms against her face. She tried to apply pressure, maybe that would help, but she couldn't exactly feel her hands anymore.
She missed her father.
She missed his dry humor and peculiar nature. She missed his mischief and the freedom of practicing magic like she liked with no guidelines to cage her in.
She missed the certainty and familiarity of her little home with father.
Here, it was so confusing.
The pointcaps were all and nothing like she imagined and she didn't know anymore what to believe in.
She missed hating them blindly, back when life has been simpler and her ideology intact.
It was so much easier back then when everything was black and white hues.
She heard footsteps again and a small part of her felt almost irritated by the constant visits.
Coco didn't turn around once she heard the door open, keeping her face buried in her hands, hoping he would leave if she ignored him.
She could feel his gaze on her.
"Oculus?" He called out to her.
His voice was lower and softer now, worried.
She heard him walk over, hovering beside her bed.
"Are you alright?"
She wanted to retort with something mean, to chase him away from her.
But when she opened her mouth, her voice came out small and broken.
"Don't you know how to get a hint? Go away." It sounded nothing like she wanted it to.
Qifrey didn't leave, quite the opposite.
She heard rustling of clothes and the wooden floor creaking as the man lowered himself down to kneel beside it.
From the corner of her eye, she could see him tilt his head slightly to the side, the same way father did when he waited for her to answer him.
Her gut twisted once more.
She scrubbed at her face furiously, trying to wipe the tears away. Her fingers were clumsy and she could barely grip the fabric of her sleeve.
"I'm fine.." she croaked, cringing again at the tone. "Just leave me alone."
Qifrey didn't move.
"I'm not going to do that," he told her gently.
He reached out slowly, projecting his movements so transparently that Coco could easily tell her wasn't a threat to her.
He paused just a few inches away from her.
"Would you allow me?" He asked her permission.
Coco didn't say yes. She also didn't say no.
She said nothing at all.
Taking her silence as go ahead, the professor pressed the back of his hand against her forehead, checking for fever.
She flinched slightly, but didn't push him away, too exhausted from crying for a better part of an hour now.
His hand was cold, too cold to the touch, but gentle.
"No signs of fever," he muttered more to himself than to the girl.
He pulled away and fully settled on the floor, seemingly having no intentions of leaving.
Exasperated Coco turned around to finally face him just to yell at him to get out.
Whatever fight she had in her left as soon as she saw that sharp, ice blue eye.
It was just like his and nothing like it at once.
Qifrey's eyes were gentler in a sense she couldn't describe.
Father always looked at her with sort of pride and curiosity.
The way Qifrey looked at her now was just... Soft. And patient.
"Could you tell me what's wrong?" The white haired witch asked.
Coco shook her head.
"You've been crying..." He observed simply, not unkindly. There was no judgment in his voice, just an acknowledgement of the truth.
Coco scowled.
"I understand this must be hard for you," he began, softly and patiently. "Being here, away from what you know. I know you don't trust us, you have no reason to. But there's nothing we, nothing I wish to do more than help you."
Coco shook her head furiously. "You don't understand!" She accused.
"Then help me understand." He offered.
She was quiet for a long moment.
Then, in a voice so broken she didn't recognize it as her own she whispered; "I want my father."
And didn't that break Qifrey's heart? The Brimhat in front of her looked so small, so afraid. Yearning for her father, much like a child would. And wasn't that exactly what she was? A child. A little girl missing the only family she knew, who just wanted to be held.
Qifrey's expression shifted into something soft and incredibly sad.
"I know... I know you do..." He soothed.
"Can't you take me to him?" The girl asked with so much desperation.
The man was silent for a moment, searching for the right words that he didn't seem to find.
"I can't," he eventually told her. "Even if I wanted to, I can't."
"You don't want to." Coco observed.
He nodded his head, "I don't, that's true. And I can't all the same.
"Then there's nothing you can do for me." Coco retorted, fresh wave of tears brimming in the corner of her eyes, ready to fall. "So just leave me alone."
Qifrey didn't move.
"There's nothing I can do for you in that aspect, that much is true." He agreed, carefully. "But there are other things I can do for you to help."
"That is, if you let me." She looked at him, his face was earnest.
"Would you allow me to show you my kindness?" He asked quietly, patiently waiting on her response.
Coco trembled softly, at a loss of words.
What was she to reply to that?
Slowly, projecting his movements once more, the pointcap reached out to her.
She sat frozen, letting it happen.
Letting him slowly pull him against his chest, it wasn't a tight hug, she could pull away anytime she wished to.
She didn't. Not that she knew why she stayed in the embrace.
The weight of his arms around her shoulder was... Grounding.
It made her feel strange.
Father was never big on physical contact, it wasn't often he extended it towards her.
The most he would do was a hand on her shoulder or a ruffling of her hair.
He had never hugged her, not when she was but a small child, not when she was hurt or upset.
He offered words and actions, but open love was never his strong suit.
If she really thought about it, this may have been her first hug. Ever.
It was warm, and steady. Qifrey held her like he had all the time in the world, like she was a fragile ornament made of glass that he cradled close to his chest.
Coco felt something break inside her.
She started crying again, ugly sobs that wrecked through her whole body, gaspy breaths between sobs and soft sniffles.
She clung to him, hands fisted in the fabric of his overcoat.
She cried freely.
She cried because she was scared. She cried because she was alone and disappointed and so so confused.
She cried because she missed her father, because she didn't understand why she started to care about these witches and knew she shouldn't.
She cried and Qifrey simply held her, smoothing a soft, cool hand down her back and whispering soft nothings to her.
When he let go, it was only after Coco pulled away first.