Chapter Text
The Bakusquad had been banned from exactly one place.
McDonald’s.
For reasons that were completely justified.
So naturally…
Mina had another idea.
⸻
swaggy mfs 😎
Mina:
GUYS
Sero:
why does every disaster start with “guys”
Mina:
i need opinions
Kirishima:
On what?
Mina:
snacks
Kaminari:
I HAVE MANY OPINIONS
Bakugo:
that’s the problem
Mina:
everyone’s coming grocery shopping with me
Bakugo:
no
Five minutes later…
Bakugo:
meet at 3
⸻
The automatic doors slid open.
Mina grabbed a shopping cart.
“This will be easy.”
Bakugo laughed.
Not because it was funny.
Because it was the dumbest thing he’d heard all week.
⸻
Five minutes.
That was how long they stayed together.
Then they scattered.
Like toddlers.
“KAMINARI!”
“What?!”
“WHERE DID YOU GO?”
“I’m looking at chips!”
“WE’RE IN THE PRODUCE SECTION!”
“I GOT DISTRACTED!”
⸻
Meanwhile…
Kirishima was genuinely trying to help.
“Mina, these look good.”
“Ooh!”
She grabbed three bags.
“What about these?”
“Ooh!”
Another two bags.
Sero looked into the cart.
“…”
“…Mina.”
“Yeah?”
“Do we need six family-sized bags of popcorn?”
“…Probably.”
⸻
Bakugo had wandered off to grab drinks.
When he came back…
The cart was full.
He blinked.
“…”
“…”
“…Why are there twenty party-size bags of Cheetos?”
Everyone looked at Kaminari.
“What?”
“DENKI.”
“They were on special.”
“You bought TWENTY.”
“It was a good deal!”
“WE ARE FIVE PEOPLE.”
“I was thinking ahead.”
“For WHAT? The apocalypse?”
⸻
Further down the aisle…
CRASH!!
The entire store went silent.
Everyone turned.
A mountain of canned soup slowly rolled across the floor.
In the middle stood…
Sero.
Holding one can.
“…”
“…It wasn’t like that when I got here.”
Bakugo pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You knocked over the entire display.”
“I bumped one.”
“ONE?”
“They’re… very dramatic cans.”
Mina had to turn away because she was laughing too hard.
⸻
Ten minutes later…
“Has anyone seen Denki?”
Silence.
Everyone looked around.
“No?”
“Oh no.”
⸻
They found him.
At the free sample stand.
The employee smiled politely.
“Your friend has… visited us a few times.”
“How many?” Mina asked.
The employee looked at the empty tray.
“…”
“…Twenty-three.”
Bakugo stared.
“DENKI.”
“What?”
“HOW MANY SAMPLES DID YOU EAT?”
“I lost count.”
“You were supposed to sample them!”
“I did.”
“ONCE.”
“I sampled them repeatedly.”
The employee quietly walked away.
⸻
Just when Bakugo thought it couldn’t get worse…
The shopping cart tipped over.
Every snack.
Every drink.
Every single one.
Across the floor.
Kirishima gasped.
“I’m so sorry!”
“I hit the wheel,” Sero admitted.
“I tried to catch it,” Mina added.
“I was holding chips,” Kaminari said.
Bakugo looked at the disaster.
“…”
“…”
“…I’m surrounded by clowns.”
⸻
“Guys?”
Everyone looked up.
“Where’s Kirishima?”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Oh no.”
⸻
They searched the entire store.
Every aisle.
The bakery.
The frozen section.
Nothing.
Finally…
A store employee walked over.
“Are you looking for the red-haired kid?”
“YES!”
“He somehow wandered into the warehouse.”
“…”
“…HOW?”
The employee shrugged.
“He said he was looking for the bathroom.”
⸻
A few minutes later…
Kirishima walked out of the giant warehouse wearing a hairnet.
Everyone stared.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“What?”
Mina blinked.
“…Why are you wearing a hairnet?”
“They gave it to me.”
“WHY?”
“I don’t know.”
Bakugo looked like he had aged ten years.
⸻
At checkout…
The cashier scanned the groceries.
She looked into the cart.
Then back at the group.
“…Big party?”
Mina smiled.
“No.”
The cashier looked at the twenty bags of Cheetos.
“…”
“…Are you sure?”
Kaminari nodded proudly.
“They were on sale.”
Bakugo covered his face.
“Please don’t encourage him.”
⸻
Later that night…
swaggy mfs 😎
Mina:
shopping successful ✨
Bakugo:
successful???
Sero:
nobody got arrested
Kirishima:
I found the bathroom eventually!
Bakugo:
YOU FOUND THE WAREHOUSE
Kirishima:
…and then the bathroom
Kaminari:
the samples were really good
Bakugo:
YOU ATE TWENTY-THREE
Kaminari:
they kept making them
Mina:
the employee started hiding when he saw us 😭
Sero:
can’t imagine why
Bakugo:
from now on
Bakugo:
we shop one at a time
Kaminari:
except me?
Bakugo:
ESPECIALLY YOU
Kaminari:
rude
⸻
The grocery store survived.
Barely.
The employees would tell stories for years about the day five U.A. students wandered through their aisles.
One got lost.
One emptied the sample stand.
One knocked over an entire display.
One somehow filled the cart with enough snacks to survive a zombie apocalypse.
And one spent the entire trip wondering…
How these idiots had become his favorite people.