Chapter Text
It was hard to tell how long it had been since Caine got deleted and…what followed after. If Pomni thought tracking time and days was difficult before, the current lack of a day and night cycle had rendered that task impossible.
Currently, she was in the cafe, with nothing but a now cold cup of hot chocolate to keep her company. Not that she didn't want to be alone, Pomni didn’t mind the quiet. The thing that made it odd, was that if she could take away one thing from The Amazing Digital Circus, it was that the place was filled with ‘wonder’ and ‘adventure’. There was usually something going on; whether it was being chased by some unholy demon thing from Caine’s…certainly interesting adventures, or everyone just doing time wasting activities - like seeing what happens when they held their breath, for some reason (seriously who thought of that?).
All they had done, in what Pomni guessed to have been a week, was wonder around the upper floors of the circus. It reminded Pomni of when she’d first joined the circus, when she was that quivering ball of anxiety scrambling around like a newborn deer trying to find an exit. How she wished she could turn back the clock and save herself the trouble.
It turns out the tent had more odd rooms than even Kinger knew. Most of them were just straight wacky, and made Pomni feel a little bit like she was on something, making it feel like Caine was right here with them (much to Zooble’s despair). Surprisingly though, there was the occasional door that went somewhere…Normal. It was surreal, seeing a place that felt like some hidden gem of the world right here in the digital plane: places filled with waterfalls leading to water so bright it looked like a liquified glow stick, forests that made Pomni feel like she was in that one level of a video game where the player gets shrunk down, fields of flowers that didn’t look like they knew what an ending was…
Yep. Definitely not something Pomni had on her ‘Digital Circus bingo card’.
“Hey, Pomni.”
Oh. Pomni hadn’t realised she’d zoned out. She shifted her line of sight to the owner of the voice, internally smiling when she locked eyes with the girl the voice belonged to.
“Hey, Ragatha.” Pomni was surprised she hadn’t noticed Ragatha occupying the stool next to her, let alone the fact that she must’ve entered with Gangle, Zooble and Kinger as well.
“Are..you okay?” She wore that same concerned frown that had taken up residency on her face a few days ago. “You’ve kind of…ruined your drink, there. Not that it was for show or anything, but…still.”
Pomni turned back to her mug. Right. She’d been idly swirling a small teaspoon around the rim of the mug. Seeking peace in the soft scraping it produced. However she must’ve been doing it so long that the perfect, fluffy white cream littered with (normally) dark chocolate particles had evolved into a pale, lumpy mess. Resembling a bog more than a comforting drink.
“Ah,” was all she could really muster, letting the spoon drop into the cup, any illusion of thirst lost. “Sorry. I guess I was just mentally wrapped up in… well, y’know.” waving her hand in a circular motion to wordlessly draw attention to the obvious lack of colour around them. Not that it needed to be pointed out of course. Pomni could have stopped at ‘up’ and Ragatha would’ve gathered enough information to know what was running laps around her head.
“You and everyone else.” Pomni heard Zooble state matter of factly, sitting one of the couches a little further behind Pomni and Ragatha (Gangle and Kinger with them), mug in claw - must have been today’s choice of arm.
Having been snapped out of her daze, Pomni could see that each circus member now had a glass of something in their hand. How out of it had she been to not notice them get those? They all seemed to have gone for hot chocolate too, minus KInger, who possessed a plate with a stack of sandwiches that had a likeness to a miniature Leaning Tower of Pisa.
She was glad that Kinger had decided to keep the bucket on his head. Partly because it, strangely, worked for him; mostly because it was reassuring to have him sane. Having someone who could offer gentle wisdom and solace when you need it. Honestly, everyone trapped in here offered a form of security in these stress-induced times.
Or, almost all of them.
Look. Pomni’s relationship with Jax was…complicated. He was always a bit of a pain in the ass (well, cursing doesn’t feel right anymore) but it in a way that made him - and she couldn't believe this was the closest thing to what she meant - lovable? Yeah, no, that certainly wasn’t it, but she couldn’t quite locate the perfect word in her brain. It was bearable, Pomni settled on that.
Then, there was the gun adventure. Completely looking past the morally questionable side of that one, it was fun. Pomni couldn’t quite pick a stand out moment that made it so exhilarating, although, between running around like your traditional heartless, ‘chaotic good’ supervillain and getting tiny glances into the usually guarded vault that was Jax made it all…consistently good. Which, at the end of the day, was what mattered in her dual-coloured eyes.
Yet despite all of it, The vault of Jax refused to open any further than a sliver, she didn’t think a blueberry could fit through the gap she’d opened. As much as she would’ve liked to extend a hand in friendship more, she couldn’t see Jax even talking to her again after their little ‘chat’ following their victory. Pomni had expected Jax to just return to being that irritating thorn in everyone’s side after that. Imagine her confusion and concern when he didn’t.
It’s not that he completely ceased to get on their nerves - or push things, as he’d put it himself - it just happened less. Too little. If not for the fact that only six people lived here, it would’ve been as if Jax had been demoted to background character: hardly engaging with anyone, slipping away to go mope alone somewhere.
Breaking down his recent behavior, brick by brick, a mixture of dread and anxiety had begun to slowly swirl around her stomach, triggering small rapid finger taps from her scarlet gloved hand.
“Hey, has anyone seen Jax today?” The jester really hoped the answer was yes, but she kind of knew she was kidding herself.
“Um, not since he was here yesterday.” Chimed in Gangle, timidly
Pomni really, really didn’t like the silence that followed the living ribbon. Because collectively, the five of them had seen Jax nine times since everything went wrong. Not. Good.
Pomni may have not met anyone who was inches from abstracting, but the empty, shineless eyes around her - reflecting nothing but trauma and regret - screamed everything she’d ever need to know.
Screw this, she thought, hopping off her chair.
“I’m going to go find him” watching as her friends, understandably, tensed before shooting terrified looks her way.
Ragatha chuckled, not in a tone that meant she thought it was amusing, but in a tone that was basically her way of saying ‘that’s quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, have fun dying, lol’. Pomni knew her well enough by now. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? He might just want some alone time!”
"Probably," Pomni replied, brow furrowing slightly. Ragatha’s worry starting to burrow through her skin and nestle into her bones. “But I just can’t settle knowing that he's sulking around by himself this much. It feels…off.”
Arms folded, Ragatha shifted her eyes to a table on her right, like it suddenly became this dazzling treasure that you couldn’t possibly look away from. No one else said anything, until Kinger turned towards her, bucket hat covering the top half of his right eye.
“If you’re sure, I guess there’s no harm in checking on him.” As usual, he spoke softly and knowingly, it was enough to make even the most paranoid people follow him blindly. “Just, be careful, Pomni.”
She nodded once before turning to head to the rabbit’s room. She could feel Ragatha’s fear for her burning holes into the back of her hat. It didn’t matter. She wanted to do this.
The walk to their rooms wasn’t a long one. Lucky for them the cafe was located on the same floor as the sleeping quarters - providing a sense of security Pomni hoped she’d be able to hold onto for a while since the abstractions couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of using stairs. But who knows what’s going to happen next in this digital hellhole.
She engulfed the doors that were scratched off in once striking red tape, shivering at the thought of those same people currently haunting the lowest level of the circus, their only thoughts being to absolutely destroy anything that moves. As much as it scared her, Pomni knew if she allowed herself, she would be next.
That being said, she couldn’t help but feel like she deserved to be next.
As much as she hated it, it was hard for Pomni to let go of the past. She couldn’t help but wonder…If she hadn’t come here, hadn’t tried to change things, hadn’t started criticising every little thing Caine ever did in his life, would things have turned out as bad as they had? Everyone seemed to be at the least satisfied with their life in the circus. Plus, they were all kind of stuck with each other forever, actively hating each other would only cause more issues than solve them - the exception being Zooble and Ragatha towards Jax, Pomni thought those three could chuck insults at each other without getting bored for months…She was getting side tracked. The point is, Pomni wouldn’t have been surprised if the others secretly wished that she’d stayed trapped in the void forever after.
She had to shove those feelings down into a jar and toss them aside for later as she arrived at the door directly opposite her own.
Oh well, here goes nothing. She tapped her knuckles against the smooth wooden door and scooched back a little, Pomni knew Jax resided in his room a lot lately so it’s not like he’d be anywhere else.
“Uh Jax? I just wanted to…see if you were managing ok. With everything that’s happened this week.” No signs of life came from inside the room. “We don’t have to have a talk or anything just…I don’t know, let me know if you can hear me?” Again nothing. This was becoming a little frustrating “...Jax. I’m not leaving until you say something.” Silence.
Pomni huffed to herself, slightly sending the strips of hair on her forehead into the air, before reaching for the cold, shiny door handle. He can fight her later. And with a soft click, Pomni peaked her head into the dark room, although, was that pink she could see glowing on the wall?
“Jax what are you-…Jax?...Jax. JAX!”