Chapter Text
For the longest time Yuuri loved to skate. The world was so cruel and unforgiving in nature, that ice was the only plain Yuuri believed he would ever see, so he decided to embrace it. In a barren wasteland the world had seemed to have become there was only so much for a person to do. And with open arms it accepted him graciously, however it could turn on him at the drop of a dime to become his worst enemy and he threw himself into the figure skating world knowing this. Never once did he regret stepping onto the ice because it became his life shortly after.
It was crazy how he was so young when Yuuko came up to him practically begging him to take skating lessons with her. He thought it was the strangest thing, he was a ballet dancer at heart and it felt strange to skate at first. Sort of like he was betraying his own art, but he later learned that his ballet would help him immensely in his future skating career. Even when he went to his ballet teacher expecting her disappointment in his decision to become a skater rather than a dancer, Minako’s support almost overwhelmed him. She encouraged him even further to continue being his ballet teacher since it seemed he was so sure of what he wanted. Never before had she seen such a fire in the small boy’s eyes.
Growing up with parents who owned a skating rink had the perks of letting Yuuko and Yuuri practice even after their lessons were done, and they could copy choreography from some of their favorite skaters. It was no question who Yuuko liked best since she seemed to gush about him at a moments chance, constantly shoving internet articles into his face roughly as she ranted about how amazing and talented he was. It wasn’t until she sat Yuuri down to watch the young man compete in the World Championships that the name he had heard so often following a string of praising words, came to a new light in his life. Viktor Nikiforov was his idol and he would do anything to meet him at his level and surpass him.
He practiced relentlessly. Any spare moment he could get to the rink, he was there. Yuuko’s parents gave him his own key after a while for the late nights he would spend practicing and training since it seemed a waste to interrupt him while he was so focused. Just as much and if not, even more often than the time he spent at the ice rink, he was in the studio with Minako perfecting his movements and stretching his abilities beyond compare. His dedication was something nobody could ever question because, man, Yuuri couldn’t see himself in any other place during his free time. It didn’t take long to settle into a training routine he found suited himself, despite the lack of having one single coach to help perfect him. He would head to Minako’s ballet studio first thing in the morning, head home and then leave for school, conditioning at a gym about 2 or 3 days a week for an hour at a time and skating until nightfall or skating then ballet. This was his routine and he couldn’t change it no matter how much his feet blistered or how badly his body ached. Yuuri had a goal, and he couldn’t rest until he made something of himself.
Yuuri had eventually found himself a coach during his college search in the U.S., his name was Celestino. He offered him a contract for his time in college if he came to Detroit for his studies and Yuuri, having caught on to English quicker than he thought he would be capable of, agreed despite the massive student loans he would take out. By doing this, he made a silent vow to not quit skating until he could pay off at least half of that debt. Luckily his grades were above average in the states and the college entrance exams qualified him for merit scholarships, not to mention his skating gave him scholarships as well since he would be training on campus because Celestino was part of the school, and aid since he would be a foreign exchange student, as were many of Celestino’s recruits. These factors cut the price down a lot for him and made studying abroad much less intimidating than it had originally felt when the idea was proposed.
He had to admit, the first semester was hectic as FUCK given his training schedule, which was already full enough but he now had book reports, long research essays, and just loads and loads of work dumped right on him in all of their digital glory after passing the first month of his amazing college experience. Had he not been so busy with skating and ballet and weight training and morning jogs he probably would have been able to handle the workload, but he simply had not enough time, so his days spent off as resting days were also workdays for him so he could lighten the load as much as possible. It was probably during this time that he found himself exploring music more for his skating, but never did he choose the music that his routine would use. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested. The artists he listened to were ancient, but all the more legendary composers, he very much enjoyed classical music and a little bit of jazz even, it was fun to move around and it felt more fluid when he was skating than when he was in the dance studio. Because of the bad timing of the college semester beginning, his training for the upcoming and fast approaching competitions began right off the bat from when he first touched down in Michigan. He ended up in the states much earlier than he needed for school, but it was absolutely necessary so he could start training with Celestino, the beginning of the semester would have only left them with a month with each other to prepare. In the end, it was worth it.
Before he knew it, Yuuri had blown through the beginning competitions and found himself in Skate Canada placing on top of the podium, granting him the passage to participate in the Grand Prix Final he so longed to compete in. It was like a dream standing there, the crowd cheering for him and his competitors headed to the Final. Because there is where Viktor would be, his goal, his idol, and his inspiration that allowed him to make it this far. He honestly pinched himself a couple times to make sure that it was real- that it was really happening, the butterflies in his stomach were real and the pounding adrenaline inside him was real. One look at Celestino giving him an affirming nod told him everything. He was going to the Grand Prix Final and he would be competing against his long-time idol Viktor Nikiforov and, hopefully, stand on the same stage as him in the end of it all.
That’s what he was hoping for at least. Headed to Tokyo, Yuuri put his schoolwork in the back of his mind and focused on one thing, winning. He was confident in his short program and free skate routines but he needed to execute them well. This was what he was training for, to get here, to win here. This was where it mattered most to him. Of course he knew that there were more seasons to come for him, he had just turned 19 and was technically new to the senior division, which was full of purely talented and passionate skaters like he was. He shouldn’t get his hopes up but he couldn’t help it, he was competitive by nature. This part of him did not mix well with his anxious worrying side that had slowly formed in due time but he could not compete unless he reached high. In the very least, he had the luxury of being in his home country and did not have to translate spare speaking to his sponsors and competitors, which he rarely did in the first place.
As much as he tried his best, there were still some nerves he simply couldn’t shake and by the end of the first day of competitions he found himself in fourth. It’s not that it was bad, but Yuuri was disappointed nonetheless that he couldn’t get a higher score in his short program. Trying to pull ahead the next day with his free skate would be tough and he was beginning to doubt his ability to do so.
His coach had invited him out to dinner but Yuuri turned down the offer and instead getting the hotel room service to sit alone at least until his coach returned. It was too bad he wasn’t close to many skaters, especially now since he knows just about no one in the senior division- having put off leaving juniors as long as he could. He had met at least one competitor before but it was a brief conversation just to pass time from what Yuuri could tell. His name… Chris or something? Yuuri knew he was here but he was the only one he knew was here besides Viktor. His coach didn’t believe it was very fair to not know his competitors but technically Yuuri knew all of their names (to an extent), shouldn’t that count?
Yuuri sat idly waiting in silence and was quite frankly becoming rather bored. He didn’t feel like sleeping and all he really could do was watch the tv. Standing from the bed and throwing on his coat and scarf, he placed some electronic earmuffs on his head and headed out the door with nowhere in particular in mind to go. He could walk around a bit outside but to be honest he didn’t really favor Tokyo. Had he the choice he would most prefer his home town, Hasetsu. It was too cold in Tokyo, at least in Hasetsu there was some remainder of spring left from the prior Flowerness. It really was hard to believe she had passed away that same day. Today was supposed to be a happy day for Yuuri, but looking back on it now it just seems to be very depressing. He didn’t even want to bother thinking about how cold it will get in due time without her. As much as he spent his time around ice, he wasn’t exactly fond of the cold outdoors. There was always an overcast and the sun shone for a few hours in the morning and even that time may become shorter as the time goes by. However, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of flower the 3rd Flowerness would bloom. Since she had passed, there would no doubt be a flowering tree that would grow in her place, as had with the past Flowernesses. It was never said where their bodies were buried, but there were always videos and holograms of the trees that had grown over their graves and they always glimmered with beauty and radiated life, a permanent spring upon their graves.
He wandered outside and found a bench near the entrance of the hotel. It was a good idea to get some air at least rather than stay cooped up inside all night. The cold air bit at whatever warm skin of his was showing as his face tucked into his scarf. The few snowflakes that had caught on his coat melted away quickly and Yuuri found himself drifting in thought. That day, he had seen Viktor’s performance in person. As though unfazed by the death of someone dear to the world, he performed beautifully as expected. Every leap, every turn, he was gliding across the ice without a care in the world, his mind focused on something else entirely. Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder what Viktor’s inspiration was, if it was something enough to distract him from tragedy, there was a tinge of jealousy towards whatever Viktor had that made him how he was. Yuuri wished he had the motivation Viktor did, because it did not seem to be something that was just purely competitive but something more personal.
But Yuuri… Yuuri was not close with anyone in particular nor did he have anything he really cared about more than his skating. Of course he loved his family and his dear dog, but they were so far from him now. He would have to visit them before heading back to the U.S. if Celestino would allow at least a day with them. Even if he did have a better motivation, though, what would he do after? He hadn’t thought about that all that much besides the “I’ll know when I get there” he’s always told himself but that may be soon. He wasn’t worth much to the world, he was just some Japanese figure skater looking to compete against his idol, and he’s barely even done that once he got there. What would he do if actually won the next day. He never doubted that he wouldn’t win but also never assumed so as well. The very least he knew was that he would be skating until he finished college, that was the deal he made with his coach in the first place. But if he has no motivation… But that would also be assuming Viktor disappeared. It’s not like he would be gone in the next couple years, he hadn’t given any signs of early retirement, as dreadful as it was to think. Beating him in the free skate would not mean Yuuri would win again in the next year, Viktor was too talented and Yuuri was a rollercoaster when it came to performing. All he could do was skate his best as he could the way he was now. He managed to get to the Final and skate on the same ice as Viktor, that was more than he could ask for. And he would fight to keep doing exactly that.
Yuuri felt his nose tickle and sneezed, realizing just how cold he had gotten sitting outside. He ended up not really thinking of anything to do in the end, huh. All the more, what he ended up doing was letting his anxiety act up instead. He had pulled his knees in close at some point and could only be left staring at his small puffs of breath escaping into the cool air. I should probably go inside.
A pair of shoes stopped to face Yuuri before he could so much as lift his head.
“It’s a bit cold to sitting out here, no?” a man’s voice spoke in rough English.
Must be a foreigner. It made sense, there were many people from different countries there that week for competition. His accent seemed thick but Yuuri couldn’t pinpoint the exact kind of accent it was at first.
Yuuri flipped whatever switch inside his head back to English when he realized the man was speaking to him and peeked out above his knees to get a glimpse of the man before him. He could feel his breath catch in his throat before he could barely even process a word. A piercing blue gaze was staring right through him and the man’s chiseled jawline and short silver hair were unmistakable to recognize.
“V-Viktor?” Yuuri’s voice managed to choke out.
All of the sudden his mind was going a mile a minute. Viktor Nikiforov is standing in front of me. Viktor is standing in front of me. Why is he here? Why is he talking to me? I didn’t do anything, did I? There must be some reason he’s here. Oh my god he is literally right there. Did he want to talk about skating perhaps? There’s nothing else he really would need to talk to me about. I never imagined he’d even approach me but I guess it would happen at some point since we are competing against each other… Does he always look like that? He looks so much better in person it’s kind of intimidating. I mean I’ve always known he was attractive but this is ridiculous! Shut up- Stop thinking about that, he approached you. He probably just wants to talk about… WHAT THE HELL, WHY DOES HE WANT TO TALK TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE!?
“Hm? Yes, and you are?” Viktor said curiously.
“...”
...He doesn’t recognize me. Of course. I’m not exactly memorable, why did I even let myself think we were on the same level when we obviously are not. It stung to admit, but it was the truth. He knew he should have done better, maybe then he would have been worthy of being remembered.
Yuuri stood letting out a shaky breath.
“...No one.” He let himself speak lowly, trying not to let the hurt show in his voice.
Shutting his mouth, he left the other man alone and headed back through the hotel somewhat hastily trying to get to his room.
You idiot! That was your chance to talk to Viktor! He found himself regretting his emotions getting the best of him but he knew he couldn’t talk to him. If Viktor couldn’t recognize him, that meant he still had a lot of work to do.
The moment the elevator door opened on his floor he could see Celestino standing in front of his door. The coach spotted him.
“Oh, Yuuri. I thought you were in the room already. Did you go out?”
“Not really. Just went outside to get some air for a little while.” Celestino looked at him, a little concerned from what Yuuri could tell.
“You weren’t out there for too long, were you? You’re a bit red in the face, are you okay?”
Was he really that flushed? He did feel rather warm even though he took off his scarf already. He also did get a bit flustered just moments before.
“Ah- I guess I sat out there a bit longer than I meant to.” Yuuri said apologetically. He wasn’t feeling feverish or anything, but he was calming down.
“Okay. As long as you are feeling well in the morning, everything should be fine.” Celestino seemed sceptical but forgiving nonetheless.
That night Yuuri could not sleep well. It was confusing, he fell asleep just fine earlier, no fever, no headaches, just some soreness from skating. But for some reason his dreams were… well, strange. He didn’t usually have such vivid dreams but for whatever reason he could see clearly, feel clearly, but the noises just sounded like he was underwater, they were drowned out. It was warm, and everything was yellow like the sun was surrounding him. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t speak. Soon enough he was forced to wake up from lack of breath. It was the middle of the night but the lights from the street lamps were shining through the hotel room curtains. Yuuri sat up begrudgingly and was about to close the curtain when he noticed a figure sitting on the windowsill and nearly screamed. Looking over at the other bed in the room, he could see Celestino lying comfortably in bed sound asleep. Then who…?
He grabbed his glasses off the nightstand and turned back to the sill. The figure had moved an inch or two closer to the center of the windowsill, the light from outside allowing Yuuri to see the person’s face. Now Yuuri was very confused.
“...Viktor? Why- How-” Yuuri tried to keep his voice low as to not wake his coach, but it seemed to make the other man toss around a little in his bed. The legendary skater sat silently with a soft smile on his face, simply tilting his head in acknowledgement. Yuuri glanced at his coach seeing him still once again and turned back to see Viktor gone.
Did he imagine it? Possibly… Probably… He should just go back to bed. There was no point thinking about it, he was probably just tired.
Sleeping seemed to had done nothing. Upon waking up and the blinding light shining in his eyes (courtesy of his coach), the moment he put his glasses on he was there again. Viktor was sitting on the desk in front of Yuuri’s bed. DID HE SNEAK IN MY ROOM OR SOMETHING AND SLEEP HERE WHAT THE HELL!?
“Viktor, why are you in my room?” Yuuri’s voice was sleepy. He tossed his sheets away. He stood from his bed and crossed the room to where the other man sat with his legs crossed. The silver-haired man made no effort to speak, only smiled and raised his hand to wave at Yuuri. His hair fell onto his face lazily but it seemed way too perfect for someone who just woke up, it wasn’t fair.
“How did you even get in here…?” Yuuri lifted a hand to touch Viktor’s front bangs subconsciously, but the moment he blinked, the other man was gone yet again.
“What the…” Yuuri looked at his hand confusedly and back at the desk, no sign of whatever he saw a second ago. Surely he was imagining things. Why would Viktor come into his room? How would he even get in there?
“Yuuri? Who are you talking to?” Celestino came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and freshly showered and dressed.
“Uh, it’s nothing…” Yuuri really didn’t know how to explain what had happened, he himself was very confused. When Celestino looked unconvinced, Yuuri decided to take it up a notch.
“I was trying the new voice commands on my phone… Nothing special.” He tried not to let his voice falter.
“Alright. Well, make sure you’re ready by 8:30, we need to head over to the rink for the morning practice.”
“Okay.” Yuuri could tell Celestino was worried about him, but he couldn’t explain something he didn’t understand. Besides, it seemed harmless anyways. He probably just needed breakfast or something.
Only, the Viktor was at the table when they arrived in the cafe. It didn’t seem like anyone else could see him so Yuuri didn’t acknowledge him this time and just went about his light meal silently ignoring whatever this was.They headed out to the rink after eating but Yuuri got distracted, noticing Viktor was outside the lobby the moment they hailed a taxi. He was also sitting in the empty seat up front as they drove to the rink. Just when Yuuri thought he was getting a break, about a half an hour into his practice, Viktor tries actually approaching him for once since that morning. Yuuri didn’t know if he was going insane or if he was hallucinating or something but he couldn’t concentrate like this. So the moment they made eye contact, he simply decided to leave all together. He gave Celestino a defeated sigh saying he couldn’t concentrate at the moment and if his coach wasn’t worried before, he definitely was now.
“Is something wrong?” His coach brought him to the locker room, which was luckily bare of any people.
“...I honestly have no idea.” Yuuri admitted. “I keep seeing strange things, I don’t understand why, though. It’s been happening all morning, I can’t focus.”
His coach brought a hand to Yuuri’s forehead.
“Do you think you might be hallucinating from illness?”
“I don’t feel sick.”
“You aren’t running a fever either…” Celestino took a step back and brought a hand to his chin to ponder. “Do you think you can skate?”
“Of course I can!” Yuuri said almost immediately.
“Haha, I like the spirit. I don’t really know what’s going on but it’ll probably go away. Maybe it’s just because you’re nervous?”
“...Maybe…”
“Alright. Do you want to go back out there? There may not be much time left but we can try.”
“No…” The truth was he really did want to practice, but the actual Viktor might be out there at the moment, and he was still a bit embarrassed from the night before. He felt bad blatantly ignoring him when he probably just wanted to have a friendly conversation. But, then again, it wasn’t exactly kind that he didn’t remember Yuuri. Then a thought occurred to him. He hadn’t seen the actual Viktor on the ice that morning… What if he accidentally ignored him!? That might have actually been him a moment ago and he was so rude! He would consider asking Celestino if he saw Viktor out there but he hadn’t told his coach much about his admiration towards Viktor. It wasn’t exactly the most normal thing to share about yourself.
As much as he didn’t want to do it, he let it be and left without knowing. He would be seeing the other man that night anyways. Hopefully it would be on the podium together but it was not guaranteed.
In the end, Yuuri wasn’t sure if he tripped up because he was unfocused or if he just wasn’t as talented as he needed to be, he remained in fourth that night. He missed the podium by nearly 5 points. Needless to say, he was unable to speak with Viktor again that night. All he could do was make himself better and get ready for the next season. He was disappointed, but he was also relieved at the same time- he hadn’t wanted anything to end quite yet for him.
Again, Yuuri could feel himself drowning. Like always, the light was bright but he could hear only muffled voices, he could see clearly, yet not speak a word. Trying to move was useless, everything was almost jello around him and he would get nowhere. He could feel warm hand resting upon his cheek and found himself comforted in the feeling, leaning into the illusory touch. Despite his lack of breath, he felt calm for once in this dream.
Yuuri allowed his eyes to open slowly, keeping the thought of the warm touch in the back of his mind. His vision was blurry and he tried focusing on the edge of the pillow, noticing an entrancing blue gaze staring back at him. Viktor’s hand caressed Yuuri’s cheek with his thumb what Yuuri could imagine was a soft touch. He silently wished he could feel it, but he knew it wasn’t real. The man met his gaze with a warm smile and Yuuri sighed contently. In the next second, Viktor was gone, as he always did. He never did stay for too long. The Viktor would always stay in one place most of the time, not moving around very much and never speaking a word. Always smiling he kept a gentle gaze on Yuuri that Yuuri had found was almost taunting to him now, but he enjoyed it to some extent.
When he had first started popping up it was almost constantly whenever Yuuri let his guard down. There was nothing he could do but ignore whatever this was but it was distracting at times. His “visits” so to say, started to become less frequent after a while but he still showed up from time to time on occasion. He would sit on top of cabinets in his classroom during lectures, countertops and bars when he went out, empty beds, desks, and he was always looking at Yuuri only. His expression did change at times to a more bored and neutral look but he never stayed around long enough for Yuuri to focus on him. He stayed around when Yuuri first met his roommate to the time he got dead drunk in the dorms to when his roommate made him help sneak in hamsters to their room and to when he finally earned his degree as well. Yuuri made no effort to figure out what it was or why he was seeing this Viktor and chalked it down as yet another thing he doesn’t understand about his mind.
So waking up to Viktor laying across from him wasn’t really unimaginable but…
“He’s spreading to my bed now…” Yuuri mumbled. This Viktor had respected some kind of boundaries of sorts that Yuuri couldn’t even begin to understand just like he couldn’t understand the illusion itself. He never showed up in restrooms and never came near the ice rink. Never had he shown up in Yuuri’s bed before either. He was like some strange fungus that kept slowly creeping into his space and Yuuri didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if he saw this thing appear in his bath he might just drown right then and there.
Upon further inspection of his room he realized it had become dark outside and the hotel shades had been blown wide open. The sight of Sochi was stunning all in itself and it was heartwarming thinking about how it took him nearly four years to qualify for the Final again. It was such a beautiful location, he would have felt lucky had it not turned so sour the day of his Free Skate. With the heartbreaking news that his beloved dog had passed away it wasn’t hard to see that the program had all but fallen apart but, to Yuuri, it felt worse than that. Once he was allowed the privacy he had broken down almost immediately. He hadn’t been home in almost five years, he didn’t have a chance to properly say goodbye. He didn’t even want to stay for the banquet after that, but he still had to. Suddenly Yuuri was very awake.
“Shit what time is it!?” Yuuri scrambled for his phone to check the time. It was 23:00. Shit Shit Shit he still had to get ready for the banquet.
He swore to whatever god there was that if this Viktor showed up in his shower now he’d scream.
Yuuri knew the banquet would be boring and did try to prolong actually showing up, but eventually Celestino came to his door asking if he was ready to leave. Yuuri just wanted to get this over with and sadly left the comfort of his hotel room.
Upon arriving at the banquet hall he took immediate notice of the fact that he really was not friendly with many of the people in the room. He knew a few people like the sponsors he had had before (not likely he’d keep some of them after that performance) and he obviously knew the skaters but he just never talked much with anyone besides Christophe. Oh how he wished Phichit had qualified for the Final, he forgot how lonely it was at the banquet the first time he attended it. Yuuri ended up lingering around his coach most of the time, trying not to make his discomfort too obvious (it was hard to hide his complete discomfort). He spied the buffet table subtly, thinking how badly he just wanted to eat his stress away. Unfortunately, he still had to keep up appearances and stuffing your face may have been a bit of bad publicity. Besides, maybe about a fraction of the food there would actually be real. Chefs were able to do some amazing things with the nutrition tablets that just about anyone could afford but real food was always something to take up an offer on if it was available and, of course, affordable. A waiter crossed his line of sight and stopped in front of him, offering a drink. It looked carbonated. Champaign? Yuuri wasn’t exactly a fan of it but anything was better than nothing, so he accepted it.
Glancing around the room, he caught the unmistakable silver hair across the banquet hall. He seemed to be chatting with some sponsors, looking less than happy but still holding a smile. Viktor probably wanted to get away from the sponsors just as much as Yuuri did. And even though he looked visibly uncomfortable, Yuuri couldn’t help but say he looked very sharp in his suit. Very handsome. He got the idea that maybe he can try talking to him again… No, bad idea. He blatantly ignored him the last time the other man approached him. Viktor probably wouldn’t even recognize him. But, then again, he didn’t want to never speak to the man he once looked up to, again. Yuuri honestly wasn’t sure if he even wanted to skate again in the next season. He might just be… done. He hit his peak a while ago, he should probably turn in finally and retire. So, depending on his decisions soon to come, this might have been his last chance to properly speak with the man. But if he was going to do that… He eyed the table that the waiter had grabbed the champagne glasses from… He was going to need a lot of liquid courage. He didn’t want to be dead drunk talking to the guy, but he needed a bit of something more than just one glass.
Yuuri sat idly by the table of champagne switching between thoughts of whether he should actually approach Viktor or not. He found himself picking up glass after glass and had eventually lost track. Realizing he was beginning to sway, Yuuri had completely forgotten why he was over at the table in the first place. Saying fuck it, he grabbed the bottle of champagne and drank from it without a care for how people were looking at him strange. The music was finally starting to pick up and everything became blurry from there on. Catching fractions of the people around him every now and again, he thought he was spinning. He was on the dance floor at some point but after that it all became blank.
All Yuuri could think was how badly his throat burned and how much his head was absolutely pounding. The blankets felt hot on his burning skin as well as the pillow his head rested on, and kicking them off just left him absolutely freezing and regretful. At some point or another he must have gotten back to his room somehow because he was back in his bed, regretting life itself. He had no idea how much he drank the night before but it must have been a lot. And considering he hadn’t even eaten beforehand, it must have been a quick downfall.
Trying to sit up only made his head spin even more and nausea settle inside him. He promptly laid back down with a painful groan and that in itself was a mistake because the burning in his throat suddenly became ten times worse. It came to his attention that he couldn’t even breathe anymore and became panicked and jumped out of his bed, running for the bathroom. Collapsing before the door of the bathroom, he grasped at his throat, clawing at it to no avail to lessen the choking sensation. He held a hand to his mouth as he started sputtering and coughing like hell, all but vomiting right there. Luckily, he could finally breath again and was letting out shaky puffs of air. Whatever had been in his throat seemed to have cleared itself, but it wasn’t bile like he had thought it would be. In fact he stared at his trembling hand in terror. It was covered in blood- he coughed up blood.
Getting to his feet with knees that almost felt like jello, Yuuri made his way back to the nightstand and grabbed his glasses. After multiple attempts at putting the glasses on his face he again inspected his hand that was now held a disturbing red in his palm. The glasses made his head ache instantly but he couldn’t care about that at the moment because he felt himself sink back onto the bed. His hands clenched, worried, scared, terrified. His life up until then had been confusing enough but now… Now this was just becoming downright ridiculous! His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly as he tried to calm himself, taking slow, deep breaths. In... and out…. In... and out…
His stiff joints loosened and he felt himself relax as he sat on the bed’s edge.
“What the hell is this supposed to mean…?” His voice was raspy and cold.
Yuuri opened his hand slowly once more, staring at the crumpled flower petal stained with red resting softly in his palm.
Honestly, what else was life going to throw at him?