Chapter Text
It had been a few weeks since Ryland had come into the bar and sang, he hadn't done it again but he had ordered alcoholic drinks again, but it was worse this time, he had been ordering more and more, and had been drinking more every night he came in, and some nights it would end in him sobbing into Colt's arms others were worse where they ended up in screaming matches and Colt storming out, Ryland knew he shouldn't give his brother so much trouble, he was grieving too after all.
The next week he went into the bar, sans Colt, Jody and Dan because of filming that week, and saw that Simon wasn't at the bar and instead an intimidating woman with her brown hair in a pony tail, safe to say he was a little bit disappointed, still he went up and ordered a drink, he ordered an Espresso Martini, and sat at a table, not the booth they usually sat at, and saw Simon accross the room with a glass of beer doing a similar thing to him, he was almost ecstatic!
He walked over to Simon, drink in hand, and asked
"What's a handsome man like you doing sitting alone?" He made sure to try and change his voice, for fun, what he didn't expect was for Simon to look up at him and say,
"I don't know, what are you doing here on your own?"
He practically choked on air but quickly recovered and sat down,
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What was wrong with him? Simon was practically red when he heard Ryland's approach and comment, so he did the first thing he could think of, deflect
And god did he wish that he didn't, he watched as the man spluttered and panicked, quickly turning pink to match Simon
"Anyway, yeah what are you doing sitting at a table and not working at the bar?" Ryland asked,
in truth it was Simon's day off but he wanted to come in because it was a Friday that he had off, the day that Ryland came to the bar, sue him he was getting concerned for the guy, he then realised he hadn't answered the question and Ryland was still staring at him waiting for an answer
"Oh uhm..." Shit what does he say? "I'm... On my break!"
"Really?"
on his break? Seriously subconscious Simon?
"Yep! It just started so I'll have around 15 minutes until I have to go work again" he smiled awkwardly, god he hoped Ava would cover for him, or that Ryland got drunk enough that he didn't have a sense for the time
"Oh wow! I don't think I've ever seen you go on break while I'm here" Ryland laughed, Simon chuckled awkwardly
Ryland sipped his drink, from the look of it, it was an Espresso Martini, not good, the percentage of alcohol in that drink alone will probably get Ryland drunk and he's already drinking it, Simon took a big gulp of his beer deciding he wasn't drunk enough for this shit, before Ryland asked,
"Hey can I try some of that?"
"Uhhhh you sure you wanna try it?"
"Yeah just a sip I swear"
Simon pushed his glass towards Ryland,
"Go for it dude"
He watched as Ryland took a sip of his drink, God what was he doing letting the lightest weight he's ever seen try his beer,
"wow" the man in front of him made a weird face mixed between disgust and confusion, "I was not expecting a flavour like that heh"
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As he sat at the table with Simon he felt his face slightly heat up, he couldn't think straight as well, holy moly what was in that drink to make him feel like this??
"Hey Ryland, I wanted to ask, about the other week when you had gone to sing with Colt?"
He couldn't quite process what Simon was asking him, but he knew it couldn't be good,
"What did he mean by 'Ryland Gentry'? If it's not too personal? I was just worried when you had started crying so..."
Oh
That was what Simon was asking about, how sweet of him to worry, Ryland thought,
"Oh it's our, actual, last name"
"Actual?.."
"Yeah, Colt uses the last name 'Seavers' most of the time, and I use 'Grace' the uh, last name 'Gentry' belonged to our older brother and, our... father" he had said the word "father" through gritted teeth, that man that called himself their father was nothing more than a piece of shit,
"Oh.. Grace is a nice last name to use, I like it"
Simon saying that made his face heat more than it already had, he was sure he was a bright pink bordering on red,
"So, why did you?..."
He knew what Simon was asking now
He was asking what had made him burst into tears, in all honesty, Ryland wasn't sure, it could've been the alcohol, it could've been the grief or heck it could've been both! He'd go with the one he was sure affected him though,
"My, uhm, my brother, Court, died fairly recently when Colt had said that, and going from being called 'Mr.Grace' every day to my twin brother calling me 'Dr.Ryland Gentry' practically weeks after the last person who even used that name had... Passed, it... affected me, I'm thinking of going back to Gentry, Y'know like honour his memory"
God did it feel good to say that out loud, not just to Colt,
"Just for your brother?"
He knew Simon didn't understand why he wouldn't change his last name back for his father's death but it still made him feel ill
"Yep, my dad, he wasn't even a dad if I'm honest, died when I was like 8, I don't remember much about him, Courtland was 15, he was protecting me and Colt"
He knew what he was saying wouldn't make any sense to Simon, he hoped he understood
"Protecting you from your father?"
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Simon hoped he wasn't right, he hoped that he had misunderstood Ryland's words, he hoped that all of this was made up in Ryland's drunken state,
"Yeah, he wasn't really a father more than he was a warden, since our mother died pretty soon after mine and Colt's birth, we were treated the worst out of the three of us and since he already had 7 years with Court at that point he was even more strict with him, making Court more of a father than he was to me and Colt, although this is what I've been told by Colt since I don't remember much of it" he paused for a second, Simon selfishly hoped that was the end, prayed to a God he no longer believed in that that was the end of it,
"Often he would lock me and Colt in our room when he went out, Court would have to come and find us once he got home, since he did all sorts of stuff after school,
sometimes it was worse, Colt told me that one time he found Court passed out in the bathroom with the bath filled with water, he told me that he was around 4 at the time, I have no clue how he remembers that"
As Ryland went on he often said phrases like, "some kind of father he was" or that he didn't remember very much of his childhood in comparison to his twin, it concerned him so very much that this angel of a man had such a shitty up bringing, Simon knew a little about what a childhood should've looked like, his mother helped him with that, she got them out of that place after all, but the more Ryland spoke the more Simon felt like he could rely on the man, rely on him so that Simon could tell his own secrets,
When Ryland reached the end of his venting he sighed and said,
"We were kids who were stuck in their room and when you're a kid, stuck in his room, you'd do anything to get out of it, so that's what Court did, according to Colt, since I don't remember any of the night our father died, he had beaten me and him bloody,
Colt had a black eye and he had smashed my glasses as well as broke my nose, we were around 8 years old and he was yelling about how if we were real men we wouldn't be crying like babies, according to Colt after he broke my nose I had passed out and then Court came from our father's room, where he kept his gun," he paused and exhaled, taking a deep breath to steady himself,
"It would be Colt and me who survived, or it would be our father. Court decided it would be him"
Holy shit
Holy shit
Simon felt bad for being curious about what happened next but it was a morbid curiosity he couldn't control and he loathed it. He felt like he should repent the feeling even if he shouldn't think that, he'd tried so hard to leave that place he was in years ago, Ryland continued
"Obviously the police were called, but the last thing Court did for us before he was taken to prison was make sure me and Colt would stay together in foster care" he paused, sniffed as he looked down, then looked at Simon, tears in his eyes, and spoke again, "We found out that Court was killed in prison by a gang, he would've been out of prison by now" he sniffed again Simon could tell he was trying not to cry in front of him again,
"Hey, hey it's okay" Simon leaned forward and rested his hand on Ryland's shoulder, attempting to be a grounding weight for the blonde man in front of him, though his comfort and presence seemingly pushed him over the edge as he hiccuped and the tears that were pooling in his eyes began to spill over, he kept hiccuping and crying, Simon quickly let go and made his way around the table they shared to give the man a hug from the side
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God he was pathetic, here he was crying into Simon's arms, he barely knew the man, but admitting that Court was... Gone, out loud seemed to break him completely, Ryland knew that Simon had seen him cry and lash out multiple times over the last few weeks, he wasn't proud of it, but having the man comfort him was far different than when Colt did, because as much as he hated to admit it, he loved Simon, and how pathetic was this crying at the slightest comfort from the man.
He sniffed again, "m sorry Simon, I'm pathetic" he laughed wetly and without humour,
Simon pulled away from him, even though he was standing at Ryland's side, he stared in disbelief then said,
"What? You're not pathetic at all"
"You don't have to lie to me, I'm not a child" he snapped at Simon
He really shouldn't act like this, he was just so lost knowing it was him and Colt left, and having Simon be so, so caring, he felt horrible and it made him angry, he shouldn't snap at Simon, he doesn't want to either, but he doesn't need to be coddled, let alone by someone who probably has a lot more on their plate than him, he wasn't an idiot he knew that the scarring down Simon's left side was bad, bad enough that it wasn't biological or an illness that caused it, he shouldn't make his problems Simon's as well.
So he would push him away, like he's been trying to with Colt by getting into fights with him, which he shouldn't be doing either,
"I wasn't lying, I know a lot about defence mechanisms by the way so making me get into an argument with you won't do anything"
God damn it.
"Well why are you trying to help me anyway, it's not like you don't have anything better to do"
"Because I want to help you"
Fudge. If he was sober or a little less drunk he may have blushed at that being said, instead, it just makes him start to cry all over again, putting his head in his hands and resting his elbows on his lap, he just sobs and cries until there's nothing left, he felt Simon come close to him once again and rest his hand on Ryland's shoulder,
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Court sat across the room at the bar watching his brother cry, it broke his heart to see, one of the reasons he had killed their father was so he never had to see this sight again, another thing he was wonderful was where on earth is Colt? He would rather have Colt here to comfort Ryland instead of this guy. He quietly pays his tab and leaves the bar, not able to stand the sight of his brother,
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As Ryland calmed down and finally sobered up after crying his lungs out he looked up towards Simon, and God was he beautiful, as he looked up at the man he noticed that Simon wore a small silver necklace that held a small silver apple tree, huh, was Simon religious? He'd ask another day, a day where he wasn't a pathetic hopeless mess
