Chapter Text
"So, you like him?" Scott asked as they laid on Stiles' bed and stared at the ceiling.
"I'm afraid I might." Stiles said, anxiety filling his chest.
"It's totally okay for you to feel attracted to someone." Scott reassured.
"I just haven't in so long . . . I'm scared."
"I know you are and it's understandable on why you are scared to feel attraction again. You're worried about what happened to you happening again." Scott explained Stiles' feelings for him. Scott understood more than anyone realized. He saw the aftermath of what happened to Stiles, just hours after it happened. He saw first hand what happened to Stiles and what it does to a person's outlook on life and the trust issues that come with the aftermath of what happened.
"He said for me to use that number for myself, no just for the system." Stiles confessed a 'juicy detail'.
"He doesn't sound like the aggressive type. And the way you described him he didn't seem overpowering." Scott thought out loud.
"He seemed gentle. He was sweet and kind. Not mean at all." Stiles thought out loud as well, "But I thought, you know who, was all of those things and look what happened."
"Stiles, I know you know you can't live like that. You gave everything up to him, you don't have to do that with this guy." Scott said. Stiles sighed.
"Yeah, you're right . . ." He replied.
"So when he comes to return the book, what are you gonna do?"
"Fuck, I don't know."
"You're going to wear something that makes you look at least a little confident, you're going to try and just be yourself," Scott explained, "But try to minimize the rambling." Scott added. Stiles had a twisting feeling in his stomach. The thought of someone in his life again was purely terrifying to him. He sat up and looked over at his clock on his bedside table.
"Okay, well, now I have to choose what to worry about." Stiles said.
"What do you mean?" Scott asked sitting up.
"I either have to go to that class I've been going to for the past month, like I promised my dad, or I stay here and worry about what I will wear and how to not ramble to a hot guy that thinks I should use his number for something other than my bookstore database." Stiles rambled. It all came out in one breath, so he had to take a deep breath. He looked over at Scott who was already looking at him with a sympathetic expression.
"Teach me to not ramble." Stiles said. Scott nodded and stood up.
"No worries, I will. Now get to your class." Scott said and ushered Stiles to get ready for his class that started in twenty minutes.
⭐⭐⭐
Stiles walked into the building that he had never fully gotten used too. It still made him nervous to go to a class that was full of men that had been mentally, physically, and/or, sexually abused. He had an option on whether to go to a group class with men and women or just males. Stiles chose the all male class be a use of it being smaller and gradually, unfortunately, growing. A councilor would talk to them as a group and help open them up. For Stiles, it was hard of course but, once he had opened up it was easier. He was able to go through all his emotions and accept what had happened. It still hurt to think about and he still can't pleasure himself like a normal man, it almost grosses him out just to think about the subject in general. But on another note, it was helping him, he truly was getting to a better place. He had finally had an entire week without nightmares, which for him was a new record, he had been able to return to work without being exhausted and/or paranoid, he truly was getting better. After three guys who had been there a few times had talked, it was Stiles' turn. He was still nervous, but the councilor helped.
"It's okay to still be nervous, Stiles." He gave a warm smile, Stiles returned a small grin in thanks for the reassurance.
"Well, um . . . I'm Stiles and, my incident was six, going on seven months ago." Stiles explained himself. Some looked at him and actually listened, other who were obviously new and didn't want to be here because they thought they were fine, were trying not to pay attention. "I haven't had a nightmare in a week and I am trying to get myself to be okay with liking another guy again." Stiles said.
"That's really great, Stiles. I'm happy for you." One guy, Jared, who had started coming around the same time Stiles had said with a genuine smile. Stiles and he had become rather good friends. Sometimes they'd catch dinner or a drink with each other. Stiles liked him because he had the same thing happen to him, his ex raped him and left him emotionally trashed and alone. His parents and family had kicked him out and disowned him when he came out to them. Stiles' heart hurt for the man, but luckily he found this place and he found Stiles. Another thing Stiles liked about Jared was he was okay with the fact Stiles wasn't looking to be in a relationship with him, much less anyone else.
Soon after Stiles was finished, the group went around and talked more. It was starting to be something Stiles liked doing. He like to go and talk for himself, but he also liked knowing that the others were getting help as well. Stiles had never been as social as he was in the group. After the class was over, Jared asked Stiles out to dinner to talk about Stiles' new attraction. Stiles blushed at the fact that Jared could read him so well. The two went to a restaurant with a bar, Jared said he had had a rough week and was in need of at least one beer, Stiles agreed and they went to the local gay bar. They sat down and began talking while waiting for the bartender.
"So spill Stilinski." Jared smiled. Stiles laughed a little and rolled his eyes playfully.
"Ugh, okay. Well, his name's Derek, he's handsome, and has one killer smile, he likes books and called me bad ass when he found out I was the owner of the store." Stiles explained, Jared smiled and bounced in his seat a little.
"Ooo, you do like him." He said and grabbed his arm. "So what does he look like, describe him for me." Jared said with a smile.
"Tall, dark hair, he had scruff but not enough to be a beard." He said. Jared raised his brow with a side smirk.
"Ah, you like that don't you? It's sexy on the right guy." He said. Stiles felt himself get a bit giddy and a little excited.
"Ugh, he so was sexy J." Stiles confessed.
Another thing he liked about Jared was how freely he could speak about being gay and liking guys. Scott, being straight, he couldn't really speak as freely, it made him feel like he was making Scott uncomfortable.
"Okay, so did you talk at all or did you just check the book out for him?" Jared asked.
"Well, we sort of talked but he told me to use his number for something other than the system." Stiles confessed more. Jared's jaw dropped, then it turned into a smile. Before Jared could respond, someone else responded.
"I meant it what I said."
Stiles and Jared both looked forward and saw the bartender standing there. Stiles' eyes widened as his mouth fell open slightly. Jared looked confused for a moment, then it hit him.
"No fucking way." He said as a shocked smile grew onto his face,. "You're the guy he's talking about?" Jared asked pointing at him. Derek looked at Jared with a grin.
"Hopefully," he said, "unless someone else hit on him, which wouldn't be that big of a surprise." He said. Stiles had yet to say anything. He froze. He had so many things he wanted to say. He told himself to play it cool but that option was already out the window due to the fact he was now gawking at the man. Thankfully, Jared spoke up to pull Stiles from his daze.
"Hi, I'm Jared. Stiles friend." He said and stuck his hand out, Derek shook it and tried to strike up a different conversation. A more common one.
"So, what can I get you two to drink? Beer, or harder liqueur?" He asked. Jared smiled and patted Stiles on the back.
"I'd say something extra hard for this guy and I'll take a Coors Light bottle, please." Jared said. Derek smiled and nodded then went off to get their drinks.
Jared looked over to Stiles and slapped his arm.
"Stiles, snap out of it." He said. Stiles shook his head, breaking his trance.
"Oh my God, I just blew it, didn't I?"
"Well," Jared started, "He didn't look at you like you were crazy or anything. So I think it's safe to say he's still interested." Jared said, he then added. "Man, you weren't kidding when you said he was sexy."
Stiles sighed and shook his head. He saw Derek was almost done making their drinks. He flipped to Jared panicked.
"Quick, tell me what to do, I'll freeze again."
"Hey, first off, you need to chill out. He seems like a cool guy, he knows he caught you off guard. So calm it down and just be yourself." Jared advised in a levelheaded tone. Stiles shook his head feverishly.
"Jared, you know I can't do that," He said and grabbed Jared's arm tighter, "I'm the most awkward guy ever, I'll probably spill something on him or something." Stiles rambled.
"Stiles, dude, calm down, you're working yourself up for absolutely no reason."
"No I'm not. Look, I'm already doing it, I'm rambling." Stiles shook his head with a sigh and put his head in his hands. Before Jared could answer, Derek was back with their drinks. He set a row of shot glasses on a little black holder in between them along with Jared's beer.
"These are on me." He added, then walked away and tended to other costumers.
"Jared tell me what to do. I'm helpless." Stiles begged his friend.
"Wave him back over here, then tell him the only way you won't pay for the drinks is if he takes a shot with you." Jared said. Stiles closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing as Jared continued. "if he refuses, put this on the bar and tell me you're gonna leave." Jared said and but a fifty dollar bill in Stiles' hand. Stiles looked down then looked up at Jared with wide eyes.
"Where the hell did you get this?" He asked hushed.
"Don't worry about it. If he lets us go, we know he wasn't as interested as we thought and might've only wanted to get to third base for the hell of it." Jared explained. Part of Stiles wondered how Jared knew so much about this but decided to ask about it later.
Stiles took a breath and calmed himself. He dug deep and told himself to do as told, he also dug deep to find confidence. He didn't know where either came from but he didn't question it.
Stiles tipped his hand when Derek looked his way, Derek walked over and saw the shot glasses were still full.
"Did you want something else?" He asked.
"No, I just wanted you to know that the only way I will let you pay for these is if, and only if, you take a shot with me." Stiles said in a rather flirty voice. A grin grew onto Derek's face.
"And if I don't?" Derek asked in a guessing tone. Stiles stood and pulled the fifty dollar bill from his pocket and slapped it on the counter.
"We're outta here." He said then grabbed his jacket and motioned for Jared to get up. Jared had a fake expression of confusion mixed with surprise.
Derek hid the look of worry and grabbed a shot glass, going against the rules of his job, he knocked the small glass back with no struggle or chaser.
Stiles grinned and looked at Jared. Stiles took his seat once more and took a shot of his own.
Jared looked at his phone and cursed, "Yo, Stiles, I gotta go. My brother needs my help." Jared lied and stood. "I'll catch you later," He said then looked at Derek, "Take care of my boy, would you?" Jared asked with a knowing grin. Derek nodded. Jared then grabbed Stiles by the arm and moved close to his ear.
"You call me if anything happens, get it?" Jared asked and eyed Stiles. The two had became each others panic buttons. If something went down badly with Jared, he called Stiles and vice versa.
"I got you." Stiles replied understandingly, secretly hoping he wouldn't have to call Jared for a bad reason. Jared then walked out hoping that his friend would be okay.
Derek smiled at Stiles