Chapter Text
Tachihara audibly shivered, hugging himself in response to the wave of freezing air.
“Don't crumple them!" Ryunosuke scolded with an irritated glare.
“Couldn't you pick a better day to hand these out?” Tachihara sighed.
Ryunosuke, Tachihara, and Gin stood outside the campus handing out flyers to the University's Winter Ensemble that Ryunosuke happened to be performing in. Unfortunately, Higuchi had an art exhibition to set up that afternoon, so she couldn't stand outside in the cold with them and hand out flyers. However, Higuchi was very apologetic, promising to pay for dinner next time.
“It's in 3 days." Ryunosuke reminded him. “Mori asked me to hand these out."
“Let's all lock arms and huddle next to each other to keep warm. Like penguins." Gin recommended while locking arms with Tachihara. She waved her hand out for her brother.
“I'm not doing that." Ryunosuke declared quite bluntly. Gin frowned and forcefully took his arm.
They continued to hand out flyers to anyone who walked past, earning a few confused looks as they looked like a couple of honeybees.
“No one's going to come." Ryunosuke looked away bitterly.
“Don't say that!" Gin frowned, displeased at her brother's lack of confidence.
“I'm sure tons of people will come! I mean, you hardly get an empty seat at your other recitals, right?” Tachihara tried his best to fix Ryunosuke’s sour mood.
“No one cares about live art anymore.” Ryunosuke’s posture began to get sluggish, as it usually does when he loses hope.
“Dramatic much?”
Ryunosuke lifted his head at the familiar voice.
“Chuuya, you made it!" Gin smiled, giving Chuuya a side hug.
“I said I did, didn't I?” He returned the hug, he raised an eyebrow at the group. "What's with the penguin huddling?"
“It's cold!" Tachihara cried out.
“Well, how many of those damn flyers do you have left?"
“17,” Ryunosuke mumbled, his expression still sour.
“And how many did you have before?”
“36.”
“Yikes.” Chuuya sneers.
“Did you give some to your new friend?” Gin asked Ryunosuke.
Ryunosuke immediately stood up straight, shushing Gin with a hand over her mouth.
“New friend?" Tachihara and Chuuya asked in sync.
“Ooh jinx—!” Tachihara snapped his fingers at Chuuya.
“Shut up, I want to hear about this new friend.” Chuuya interrupted, pushing Tachihara’s hands down.
“He's not… He's not my friend…In fact, I'd hardly consider him an acquaintance!” Ryunosuke began to wave his hands around defensively.
“But he's been in your dorm," Gin mentioned. That earned a gasp from Tachihara and Chuuya.
Ryunosuke coughed into his elbow. "... He was hardly in there for 10 minutes."
“You let him borrow a sweater—”
“Will you shut up already?!” Ryunosuke interrupted.
“Well, who is he?!” Chuuya began to get impatient. It isn't every day their boy makes a new friend.
Ryunosuke turned away.
“Don't tell me…" Chuuya shook his head slowly. Not in anger but slight disapproval.
“What? I'm confused! Who?" Tachihara asked, turning his head to Gin.
“Atsushi.”
“... Who?"
“The boy from the pub a few weeks ago!” Chuuya smacked Tachihara in the back.
“Him?!" Tachihara's memory finally jogged back.
“We're not friends!" Ryunosuke yelled out.
“Not friends, my ass." Chuuya clicked his tongue.
“Well, did you give him a flyer?” Gin asked.
“... No," Ryunosuke mumbled, looking down at the small stack he had.
“Well, you should; he seemed interested enough in your music. I'm sure he'd be ecstatic about this.”
Ryunosuke turned away; he was deep in thought. Would Atsushi really be interested? It’s not like it matters to him anyway.
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Some people would assume Atsushi was carrying a top-secret artifact. Sane people would assume Atsushi was an addict, guarding his pile of illegal substances.
Atsushi washed the sweater with such care and delicacy, he even scrubbed it himself. He wanted to give the sweater back to Ryunosuke in the same condition.
He took a deep breath, folding it nicely before knocking on the door.
He watched as Ryunosuke opened the door just a bit, to peek and see who was at his door. Realizing that it was Atsushi, he hesitantly opened the door. He glanced around the empty hall, holding Jinko in his arms.
“... What."
Atsushi quickly holds the folded sweater out to Ryunosuke.
“Your sweater, I'm here to return it.”
Ryunosuke stares blankly at the sweater, he then reaches out and takes it.
“D-Don’t worry! I washed it and everything!” Atsushi was quick to mention.
“I even used softener! I actually went out and bought softener… So now I have a jug of it in my dorm… Haha, anyway… It's good to see you, and your cat! Goodbye now." He continued, sounding robotic towards the end.
“Wait…!"
Atsushi spun around stiffly.
Ryunosuke ripped a flyer from his corkboard, handing it to Atsushi.
“There's going to be a winter ensemble this weekend… I'm going to be playing piano." He looked away. “You can come… If you want. I don't care.”
Atsushi gently took the flyer. He skimmed it before looking back at Ryunosuke.
“I'll definitely come! I'd uhm, I'd love to see you play—”
“Okay, bye.”
Atsushi stood there awkwardly, not expecting to get the door shut in his face.
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The winter ensemble took place in the university's auditorium like it did every other year. This was Ryunosuke’s second year being in this event. He never had a problem with performing, only a few nervous jitters before, but they were easy to manage.
Ryunosuke took a peek behind the curtain to see the crowd. A little bit smaller than last year's, he didn't mind, he was expecting a smaller crowd anyway. He continued to look around until he saw who was making their way through the first row.
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“Hope we aren't too late…" Atsushi instinctively patted his uneven bangs down.
“I'm sure it's fine,” Dazai patted his shoulder.
“We could've been earlier…” Kunikida looked around.
“Oh, you must be Atsushi,"
Atsushi whipped his head around at the sound of his name. He looked down at the Girl with long black hair and big grey eyes that looked rather familiar sitting in the row behind them.
“Oh sorry, we didn't exactly formally meet at the pub, I'm Gin! Ryunosuke’s sister."
It finally clicked for Atsushi, “... Oh! Hey! Nice to meet you!”
“Good seeing you, Gin,” Dazai gave the girl a playful salute.
Gin smiled, bowing her head politely. “I'm glad you decided to come,”
“Eh, I was promised dinner afterwards. And Kunikida seems to dig these posh events.” Dazai shrugged rather indifferently.
Kunikida gave him a quick glare before extending his arm out for a handshake. Gin returned the handshake with a smile.
Gin looked up at Atsushi, who was still standing,"I'm sure Ryunosuke would be glad that you decided to come."
“You think so?" Atsushi scratched the back of his neck.
“You've got to be kidding me."
Dazai turned around, “Look who it is!”
Chuuya clenched the pamphlet in his fist. Tachihara stood behind him, mouthing something to Gin before sitting down
“Who invited this prick?!" Chuuya sat down, glaring daggers at Dazai.
“Your little pianist did," Dazai said rather smugly.
“Actually I did,” Atsushi put a hand up. “Well, Ryunosuke invited me… And then I asked if they wanted to tag along…”
Chuuya scoffed and turned away from the group sitting in the front. Gin felt her phone vibrate, she opened it and saw a couple of frantic messages sent by Ryunosuke.
“I'll be right back,” she said to Chuuya before standing up and making her way backstage.
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“I saw your messages, what's wrong?" Gin asks, walking up to her brother.
Ryunosuke drags his hands across his face. He mumbles "He actually showed up… Never mind that—he brought Dazai along…"
Gin took her brother's hands off his face. “Don't worry about him, just focus on playing.”
“How can I focus when he's in the front seat?!" His hands begin to rummage through his hair. “I should make a run for it.” He frantically looks around for a window.
“You're not escaping out a window."
“That seems to be the only possible solution!” He snaps.
Gin sighs, “Take a seat, before you go and do something stupid.”
Once Ryunosuke sits down on a nearby stool his leg begins to bounce rapidly, and his eyes are glued to the floor. His mind was far too cluttered to hear the 10-minute mark and his sister's reassurances.
“It's over for me." His posture began to get sluggish, his body felt like it was going to sink into the floor, he began to accept the fact that he would soon be a part of the wood flooring.
“No it's not, it's been years since then, you've improved, you're a completely different player and person now. Just go out there and play like you've always played."
“I'm going to make a fool out of myself, I should've just quit when he told me to…" Ryunosuke felt a hand smack the back of his head. He immediately put his hand over the stinging sensation.
“What the hell?!" He looked up at his sister before smacking her on the head back.
She gasped and pulled one of his side bangs. "Don't let the past consume you Ryunosuke! Look where you are now!”
He glanced around at the chairs and music stands being brought to the stage.
“You're here because of your talent. You wouldn't have gotten this chance if you let those words consume you.” She continued, letting go of Ryunosuke’s hair.
“Now, go on, and play like you usually do."
He sighed standing up, his face still in that sulking expression. Gin gave her brother a quick hug.
“Good luck,”
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Gin made her way back to her seat.
“What's wrong?" Chuuya whispered as the lights began to dim.
“Just a few pre-performance jitters." She folded her hands on her lap.
A person walked up to the stage with a microphone, reminding people to refrain from taking pictures and videos.
The curtains opened, the conductor stood in front, with their back to the stage as the light began to focus on the musicians. There on the left sat Ryunosuke, in front of a concert grand piano.
Atsushi wasn't really focusing on the other players, his eyes only landed on Ryunosuke, who was wearing those thin glasses, the same ones from when they first had a conversation.
Throughout the whole performance, Atsushi was hyperfocused on the pianist. The only time he heard him play was in the storage room a few weeks back. However, this was somehow much more impressive than that.
He saw Dazai from the corner of his eye. Dazai had his chin resting on his hand. His eyebrows were furrowed, he seemed to be deep in thought.
Atsushi looked back to the stage, chewing at the skin around his nail. He tilted his head slightly.
“Has he always looked like that?" Atsushi thought to himself.
Has his pale porcelain skin always beamed under the warm light?
Has his features always been so sharp?
Has he always been so ethereal?
Has he always been so otherworldly?
He's never felt this way about a boy. To think about it, he's never really thought about his sexuality. He liked who he liked and that's it. He hasn't really thought about putting a label on it.
His attention was drawn back to the stage once he heard the other players put their instruments down. It was a piano solo.
He watched Ryunosuke play, the way his eyebrows would relax when he played the melody, the way he would bite the inside of his cheek each time he glanced back at the music sheet.
The last song concluded, and the audience filled with applause. Atsushi sat there. He'd never felt this way before, the pounding in his chest, the warmth in his cheeks. The only thing on his mind was Ryunosuke.
He looked around realizing what the audience was doing, he quickly sat up and gave his applause as well.
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“Well, that was a whole lot of nothing, cmon lets go, I'm starving!” Dazai sighed, patting his stomach.
“You'll have to wait Dazai, Atsushi said he needed to do something.” Kunikida straightened his glasses.
Atsushi walked around, looking for Ryunosuke.
Gin went up and hugged her brother. “You did such a good job Ryunosuke!"
Ryunosuke gently patted her back.
Chuuya put a hand on his shoulder. “Just as good as last year,"
Tachihara nodded in agreement, giving Ryunosuke a pat on the back.
“Uhm, Ryunosuke…" Atsushi mumbled behind him.
Ryunosuke turned around, his eyes widened at the sight of Atsushi.
“Y-you did great out there…" He smiled awkwardly.
Ryunosuke blinked a few times before looking away, “Thanks."
“Really, you were incredible,” Atsushi said with a bit more confidence. Why is he getting so nervous now?
“There you are Atsushi!" Dazai put a hand on Atsushi’s shoulder. He then made eye contact with Ryunosuke.
Ryunosuke stiffened at the eye contact.
“It was a wonderful performance,you're very talented,” Kunikida said while extending his arm out for a handshake, Ryunosuke couldn't really tell if he meant it with how monotone his voice was. He mumbled a “thank you” before shaking his hand.
Chuuya narrowed his eyes at Dazai, he had a feeling the guy would pull something.
“Your posture was a little sluggish.”
Everybody's eyes widened at the comment. Chuuya’s grip on Ryunosuke’s shoulder became tighter. He was about to say something, maybe even scold Dazai for it. However, he was interrupted by Ryunosuke’s response.
“Thank you for your critiques, I will keep that in mind for the next time I play." He said while bowing his head.
Dazai looked down at Ryunosuke and huffed.
“Cmon, Atsushi.” His tone began to get more playful. "You owe me dinner!" He pulled Kunikida with him. Ryunosuke watched them walk out to the front. He let out a sigh.