Chapter Text
Sae knew he loved Ryusei to the end of time when he couldn't even hate him for breaking his heart.
Sae had spent nearly twenty minutes sobbing in the bathroom. He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, leaning against the door.
Ryusei must have gone to bed already.
It was almost 5 in the morning now, Sae assumed. He managed to get off the floor with the help of the counter.
He was wrong. So very wrong.
As soon as he opened the bathroom door, he immediatly met with Ryusei staring around him. His eyes went wide upon seeing Sae's face.
"Sae."
"I don't want to hear a word." Sae hissed.
"Wha—" Ryusei scoffed, holding Sae by the arms before he could escape. His wiggling didn't do much to save him.
Ryusei's grip was firm, fingers digging slightly into the flesh of Sae's arms. But not hurting — no, not ever hurting.
"Sae." He repeated, his voice more serious. "What's wrong."
He didn't seem that drunk. Not as much as before.
Come to think of it, he hadn't acted drunk at all. But people were different — Sae got tipsy and giggly when he was drunk but maybe Ryusei was more... decent when he was drunk.
It didn't make sense, not really.
But Sae didn't want to believe that Ryusei wasn't drunk. Because that would confuse everything even more.
"Look." Sae snarled. "The feeling — this fucking annoying feeling — isn't fuckin mutual."
Ryusei blinked, his eyes widened.
He hadn't ever seen Sae angry. Annoyed as fuck, yeah.
But this? This was pure Rage. White-hot fucking rage.
And yeah — Sae was aggitated.
On at the demon — at himself.
Because for one stupid fucking second — he had believed it. Believed that the fucking lie was his reality. It wasn't.
He didn't deserve Ryusei Shidou.
Ryusei Shidou was perfect — in all the ways Sae was and wasn't.
And for a stupid second — he believed he was enough.
He wasn't.
"What are you talking about, Sae!?" Ryusei snapped. "You're talking bullshit!"
"I'm not!" Sae yelled, his own fingers digging into Ryusei's fingers that were wrapped around Sae. "Let me go!"
"It is mutual!" He insisted.
Lies.
All of it...lies.
"Liar." Sae scoffed, pushing him away roughly.
So much so that he almost tripped.
"You're fucking drunk, bastard! Get that in your fucking head!" Sae screamed, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Fuck...
Ryusei looked shocked.
He reached for Sae, regret filling his eyes.
"Sae, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
"It's not your fault." Sae whispered, voice low. He escaped from Ryusei, heading for the front door.
"It's my fault. It always is."
And it was true.
So fucking true.
All the time — he was at fault.