Chapter Text
Aug. 12th
Regular school begins in the next couple days. I thought summer school was going to be the end of having to endure this guy's torment, but as it turns out, he's going to my school this year because his other one wants nothing to do with me. Figures.
Why do I even try anymore. Every single time I think things will start getting better, they always get worse. Like my mom, she's started accepting my dad's calls. Tyler tells me to stop worrying about it, but I can see it in his eyes, he knows what I know. She's just going to take that dickhead back like always. Why does she repeat the same mistakes and why are we the ones who have to pay the price for it? Fuck her. Over these past week, it's back to her weeping and Tyler fixing our meals, cleaning and taking us school supplies shopping. He's the one training Jay to use the toilet, not mom. Does she even care about us? I don't care about my dad, I know he doesn't. Tyler's more like a dad to me than that son of a bitch ever was or will be.
I'm worried about Ty. I'm worried because I don't think he's taking his medication. I could be wrong but usually his meds overwhelm his mind too much to be capable of keeping up with everything, without my help, at least. Maybe I'm just worrying for the sake of worrying and he's simply gotten used to the medication he's on. I don't know. I feel like a shit brother. I can't even seem to help him. When I do manage to get out of bed, lately, I don't even have the energy to do anything. I sleep, eat and then sleep some more. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I have to be so damn lazy? Tyler's working his ass off and I'm sobbing in my sheets. Tyler says not to worry about it, just take care of myself. He's also asking a lot of questions about the damn kid at school. I don't want to tell him. Last kid that picked on me, and he knew, well... the poor bastard lost a few teeth. I don't need my brother fighting for me. I don't want a fight. Besides, I probably deserve this shit anyway.
Sorry this entry is so depressing. I'm kinda depressed so...
ZJ