Chapter Text
And it was supposed to continue just like that. Senku will always be the unshakable beacon for everyone in this New World. But, as always, life had other plans for him.
Insomnia. Several days ago he randomly started jolting awake in the dead of night. He tried to go back to sleep after that, but only spent hours staring at the ceiling. As for this day, he is not able to fall asleep at all. Sometimes he caught some sleep, but it still wasn't enough and he were feeling exhausted the whole day. One of the reasons for that would be the dreams that he was having. There would always be something from the earlier days with Tsukasa and Taiju.
His luck (or perhaps the lack thereof) always lets itself be known. Ever since that evening at the laboratory he started remembering about the days he spent by himself and then, of course, times he spent with his childhood friend and the Strongest Highschool Primate. The more he kept reminiscing about this period of his life, the more it appeared in his dreams. They would begin in their own way, but they would always end in the same.
The crack in his spinal cord.
To be completely honest, Senku never felt any pain from that. Well, obviously, that's exactly what he and Tsukasa agreed upon beforehand. No unnecessary violence. Fast and painless death. It's still didn't make anything easier. He trusted his friends. He certainly hoped that he left them enough clues to figure out what needs to be done. The thing, which hurt him like nothing else, was that Tsukasa going to kill him. Tsukasa.
Senku will never forget what he said that day. Could they really be friends if they met before petrification? Who was he fooling, they absolutely would. Ten billion percent. Like he would ever reject an opportunity to have another person who could do hard labour for him. But the thing is, how would it really change anything? Even if they met as children, Mirai still would be in a coma, completely brain dead. Tsukasa would still see how cruel the Old World was. Their ideals would clash yet again. And who to say that Tsukasa wouldn't kill him once more, so that the New World won't be stained by science and human greed. In that case, there would be just more regrets. From both sides.
What can he say? Senku is a hopeful man. If he didn't believe in the better of humanity, he would never enter such field as science. Or ,maybe, he would, he would just turn out to be some crazy and egomaniacal scientist like his mentor once was. But that's not who Senku was. Yes, he was suspicious of Tsukasa from the start, and he never lowered his guard. But there was still part of him that wanted to be hopeful. That Tsukasa really is just great guy, like Taiju said he was. That they truly can become friends.
Tsukasa probably saw this hopeful part of him, when he asked that one final question before Senku's death. He definitely did. The moment he broke out of the stone, they were able to understand each other on a level no one before ever could. The melancholic gaze Senku had after answering the question let Tsukasa know everything he needed. He still killed him.
He would gladly just stop this tsunami of memories, but it wasn't very easy. As less sleep he got, the more people around him began to take notice. To not notice growing bags under his eyes would be impossible. Of course, the questioning begin. The less rest he got, the more questions about his well-being would pop up. The more questions, the harder it was to forget about all of the things he tried not to think about. The harder he remembered them, the more vivid those painful dreams would become. The more vivid the dreams, the less rest he would get. Never ending cycle.
Senku tried to find some kind of a solution for his insomnia. But some methods were just useless, some were highly unscientific, while some were doing the opposite effect of what he needed. Yeah, no, he didn't really think that counting was the thing that could put him to sleep.
The logical thing he could do wa making some kind of sleeping medication or asking someone else to do it for him. Pharmacists and several other professionals around the world are actively working on the development of drugs for new diseases, that immune systems from the Old World are now faced with, and trying to recreate the medicine for the old ones. They are now focused on bringing back the medicine against bacterial and infectious illnesses, so, nothing near pills for an insomnia. Senku, as he always does, knows how to do them, but the thing is, he doesn't have resources for that. Of course, in the faculty there all ingredients that he needs. But every consumable and equipment is closely monitored by the laboratory's staff. Each evening there is a in faculty's storage. Even if just one container of chemicals is missing without any records of anyone taking it, a huge investigation would be held. This would just create chaos in his team. And there's no way Senku would openly take ingredients for the pills. The questions would rise consequently, and he would not be able to fool Dr. Xeno. Especially, if he would bring to the situation that damned mentalist, who he seemed to get closer to after traveling together for so many times. It's not like Senku would even have time to create any medicine anyway. He's too busy with the time machine project as it is.
As for Xeno and Gen, they should be coming back from their negotiations today. Didn't they say that will try to make it earlier? If so, why are they still not here? Did something went wrong with the flight? Or maybe it was something that happened during visit in some country... Wait, no. It was something that Gen said before one of his previous diplomatic trips. He wanted to come back earlier for Taiju's and Yuzuriha's wedding.
Senku rubbed his temple. He needs to stop this now. There's no need to worry about them. They're not kids and can handle themselves. Nothing poses a danger to them. Although, there can be forming some resistance groups. Not any news can be heard about anything like that. But, unless people running it are complete dumbasses, no resistance group would just show itself. The logical thing would be to plan something big, before announcing itself. Something huge, like taking hostage some of the most important figures in this New World and practical founders of it. So much money and information can be gotten from that
He needs to continue working. Keep himself busy.
There is really not a lot of work for Senku to do. He was just doing a maintenance for the giant Medusa that they've built. He tried to stay away from any work with chemicals or dangerous and delicate equipment. He won't let his sleepless brain mess up anything in the laboratory and, especially, accidentally hurt someone.
"Idiots! How can even call themselves scientists?!" Looks like negotiations went great. Xeno bursted into the room and Stanley followed with an annoyed expression on his face. Gen tried everything to keep scientist's temper down. Tsukasa stayed behind all of them, not interfering in any way and just giving Senku a glance.
"Well, what the scientists said that have gotten you heated up more than usual?"
"All of them plan to stop supporting the whole time machine project!"
"What," Senku just couldn't believe what he heard. Sure, not much of scientific community believed that time travel could be possible in the next millennia or even ever. Most of them preferred to help with rebuilding society and remaking technologies from the Old World. But there were still some individuals and governments of several newly resurrected countries that agreed to help them. Support multiplied after the message from "Byakuya". He suspected that some of it would be gone, but he couldn't even imagine that it would be all of it.
"Did the petrification has an unexpected side effect of brain damage?! They've been told a million times about how every step of the roadmap would be beneficial for science as a whole, but now they suddenly have an amnesia and, apparently, deafness, because they won't listen again! To the growing list of the medical conditions I can add deteriorating critical skills. "Now we can't be so sure that time travel is possible" or "We just can't see any benefits from a such time-consuming project"! And, of course, my favourite "Your Kingdom and leader were the ones who spend so much of our resources! All that for a tiny message that didn't even turn out to be real"! I swear, if this New World had been under my rule, I would've scrunch each one of them like an ant! Such a coincidence, because one ant is the same size as their combined brain masses!"
Xeno continued his tirade as he walked towards the lab with Stanley and Gen following, the latter trying to calm him down, so he won't blow up a random scientist there. What would their plan be If the scientific community went through with their words? Kingdom of Science did have their own development team, and with Ryusui there was little to no chance that they would run out of resources. The main problem was something else. Without such huge support the whole thing will drasticly slow down. Sure, Kingdom of Science will never stop working for the better of humanity and will continue to work on the project far into the future. But how far into the future will it be finished? Will he be long gone by that time?
"Your Kingdom and leader were the ones who spend so much of our resources! All that for a tiny message that didn't even turn out to be real," but what would they do in his place? If, finally, they were given hope to meet the person, who have given them the whole world thousands of years after their death. Someone, who watched a massive green beam hit the whole Earth and turn every single human to stone, yet, never lost hope in them. Someone, who believed that they still would be able fix everything. Wouldn't they do the same? Wouldn't they also do everything in their power to make the future, that the message implied, into a reality? If humans want for something to be truth, they would believe even the most blatant lie. Was he not allowed to be a human?
No. Not now. Now he needs a plan. Could he try talking to the scientists himself? Not the best idea. Even Xeno, with all of his experience in NASA, and Gen, with his smooth talking, weren't able to make them stay. Maybe their team need to show some real progress? But building a time machine is a long and tedious project, what could they possible show that would make the scientific community reconsider? Senku puts two fingers to his face as he tries to concentrate. All of his sleepless nights make themselves known. Eyes slowly close themselves, legs start to loss stability, he's about to-
Suddenly someone pats him on his right shouler. Senku's head snaps, legs become steady again, eyes open wide and look at the perputrator. Tsukasa. Right. It's incredible how such big guy can move completely unnoticeable.
"Jeez, you scared me there for a second," Senku cracked his neck as his muscles started to relax. "Thought you joined to help Gen and Stanley with keeping Xeno in check. I don't need any help here, so you can go if you you want."
"I would be leaving soon, but, before that, I need to give you this back," Tsukasa moved his hand with Medusa capsule towards Senku. He was the one who was trusted with keeping Why-man during diplomatic missions. Of course, his physique and skills could make sure that no untrustworthy person would be able to come close to the Medusa. Stanley also would've done this job well, but he and Xeno could've not be trusted with handling petrification device for...safety reasons.
"Oh, thanks for keeping it. I know how irritating listening to its rambling about humanity can be," while Senku was reaching for the Medusa, he was finally able to properly look at Tsukasa's face. Slightly frowned eyebrows, lips pressed together, and eyes full of...regret?
"Oi, what's with that look, Tsukasa? Worried about the time machine project?" Senku flashed him a grin. "No need to worry, we still can turn the board around. I bet, If we let some time pass, the mentalist would come up with another brilliant plan. Also, our team could make a major breakthrough that other scientists would not be able to ignore. Kingdom of Science faced far rougher problems than just slight decrease in the workforce. We would move forward like always. Ten billion percent."
No matter what Senku told him, that expression on Tsukasa's face not disappeared, but only tightened. After a few second, he finally began to talk.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh."
"I didn't meant to scare you earlier, if only I've announced my presence before I even approached you..."
"There's no need to be so dramatic about it, Tsukasa. You just caught me off guard. That's all," Senku put his put a pinkie in his ear in annoyance. Really, what with Tsukasa and being all mushy feely about a few second scare?
"I should've known better than to approaching you from behind and touching you somewhere so close to your neck"
What does he even mean by-
All of the things from his dreams in the past week flashed in Senku's mind.
Oh.
"Tsukasa," Senku started. "It's really nothing. I was just not expecting anyone to be in the room with me. In your place could've been Suika, and I still would've jump in suprise. Do you think I might be scared of you or something?"
The way Tsukasa's eyes moved to the side, refusing to look at him, told Senku everything.
"You can't be serious," did Tsukasa really have to bring this up? He would see it again in his dreams. Another sleepless night. More exhaustion and less efficiency.
"I don't even think I was able to properly apologize for that to you. You did so much for me. For Mirai. I know how hard it probably was to have me around-"
"Tsukasa. I am not afraid of you."
"If so, then why were you that shaken up when I looked up at me? Senku, it seemed like you could faint on the spot."
"It was not you, I was just-" Pause. Sigh. "Look, it's really not what you think it is. I am not intimidated by your presence in any way."
Tsukasa's not buying it. He can see something in Senku's eyes. Something, which showed him part of Senku that was slowly crumbling. He just didn't know why.
Since their first interaction, Tsukasa could've understand Senku on another level. He won't believe such blatant lie. But he still killed him, despite seeing the part of Senku, which was hopeful for them to be friends. And like he did once, can he just ignore this part of him too?
"Let's not talk about dumb and useless things, Tsukasa. I'm fine and completely okay with you. Now, can we put an end to this stupid discussion? I think you said that you need to go somewhere soon."
Senku really tried to look at his friend's eyes while saying that. But he couldn't. Did Tsukasa saw how dark his eye bags are? How much exhaustion is in his eyes? How pale his skin is?
Tsukasa still haven't changed his expression and continued to pierce Senku with the gaze. Understanding, that talking farther would lead nowhere, he could only sigh and move towards the door
"Okay. I'm going to visit Mirai at Yuzuriha's and Taiju's shop. If you need me for something, you could call there."
With that, Senku was again by himself. He needs to go back to work. Maybe, if he tried to work past his limits today, he would forget about this interaction and could rest easily tonight.
"I really don't understand sometimes how you, human species, function."
Of course, he could not just go back to his task. Why-man is still here. Guess, he had to bring it back to its room, or it would talk his ears off. Sadly, there is a quite distance for Senku to walk, so an option of just escaping this conversation is not available.
"It's pretty understandable that you don't understand human emotions. There's no way you would've understand humans with your emotion feature turned off."
"I'm not saying that I don't understand you from an emotional standpoint, I don't understand you from a logical one. How can you do something so irrational? Even you, who claims to be a man of Science, and the one, who seems to be one of the most intelligent people on Earth, still can't see faults in their own reasoning. You do things that are not beneficial to you. At all. Quite the opposite. Yet, you still do them. I see why it took so long for humanity to get out of stone."
"I don't think you should talk so much, or your battery will run out soon."
Why-man finally stops his attempts at communication. Senku puts capsule with Medusa on its rightful place, and goes back to the giant one. There's no wonder why the machine can't get behind his logic. Senku stopped understanding what he was doing a few months ago. Ever since he heard about the lie, or, rather, heard the truth. It would be logical to go and make himself some medication, which he so desperately needs. Or, even better, talk to his allies about his condition and everything that surrounded it. They would never judge him. Senku knows it.
Still, he won't do any of these rational things. On the back of his mind they are always there. His desire to keep everything in control, his determination to try to move on no matter what, this horrible tagging feeling in his chest, when he just lets a thought about someone seeing him vulnerable. That what kept him alive for so many years. This what allowed him to go on the deadly trip for the sulfuric acid, to smile, while his insides were screaming from the holes made in them by bullets, to face Hyoga, Ibara, and entire Alien civilization head on.
He survived so many years like that. But there's nothing to survive now.
The only thing left now is to live.