Chapter Text
The daylight slowly began to dwindle, and most Overwatch agents had already started to settle down for the evening while others prepared to stay up all night, making preparations for the future and deciding what move to make next. Brigitte had spent the past couple of hours just doing what she always had, helping out those that were still getting used to the new base since she’d known the place inside out for years, and having another look at her old blueprints while she combed Fika, but in between everything, she was silently plotting.
I can’t be too insistent or she might figure out that I know her secret. Now in the kitchen, standing before a boiling pot at the stove, she continued to contemplate how she’d handle the situation with Anran going forward. The last thing I want to do is get too involved and end up having her avoid me. I should just try to be prepared for anything, Wuyang did say her symptoms could get worse. She shook her head, sighing to herself. Small gestures can still go a long way, even if this isn’t anywhere near my field of expertise.
About ten minutes later and she departed from the kitchen in search of Anran, a warm cup in hand and a nervous grin on her face. At this hour, it was always a fifty-fifty shot on whether Anran would be someplace in the front room preparing to sleep or hiding out in one of the workshop rooms to sneak in some last minute training, which most people found to be absurd given how much she already trained throughout the day. Brigitte found herself to be lucky this time as she quickly spotted the ponytail of the other girl from across the front room. She was settled on the couch, and Wuyang sitting on the floor with his back against it. Brigitte could easily guess why Anran was on the couch instead of her brother considering on their first night here, she insisted that Wuyang can have that spot and that she’d take the floor. She probably still isn’t feeling well. Making her way across the room, Brigitte approached the siblings, the grin returning to her face as they both turned to face her almost in exact unison.
“Getting settled down for the night?” she casually asked.
Anran’s expression became slightly less hollow as Brigitte spoke, but she barely reacted, not even saying a word.
Wuyang decided to speak up when he noticed his sister hadn’t let out so much as a mumble. “Yeah. Convinced my sis that she needed to use the couch this time since she’s feeling a little more tired than usual.”
“In the morning, I’ll be back on the grind,” Anran insisted as soon as he finished talking. “Just… not used to this weather. I’ll adapt before long.”
Brigitte could have internally commented on that frankly terrible excuse, but she didn’t want to be so negative. She’d stepped up as a support first and foremost, it wasn’t her place to judge.
“I was wondering, Anran–” Holding up the cup she had brought with her, Brigitte caught her eye. “Have you still been feeling that nausea? I know it’s been a couple of hours, but I got something for you that should help.”
At first, her words were met with a glare, but Anran didn’t take long to stand down. “Not much, but I’d still like to know what you brought.”
Wuyang’s eyes drifted between the two of them as they spoke, clearly worn out, but still attentive.
Taking a few steps closer, Brigitte raised the cup slightly. “Ginger tea, homemade.” Surprisingly, Anran extended her hand, and so Brigitte passed the cup on to her. “It’s really hot, but I… doubt that’s any problem for you, haha.”
Sparing a few moments to take in the scent of the tea, Anran raised her brows. “It has a nice spice to it.”
“Even if you aren’t feeling sick, it’s still a good treat to have when it’s time to relax and wind down for the day,” Brigitte added quickly. This isn’t too much, right?
“Wow,” Wuyang mumbled suddenly. “Hey, Brig, where’s my tea, huh?”
“You never said anything about feeling sick, Wuyang!” she chuckled.
The boy sat up a little straighter as he turned to face his sister. “If you don’t want it, hand it over.”
“No,” Anran denied plainly. “I just don’t want to burn my damn tongue. I have enough burn scars already.”
Though there was a hint of humor in her words, it was certainly not an exaggeration. From every possible angle, at least two burn scars were always visible on Anran’s skin. Her hands bordered on being a different shade compared to the rest of her body with how severe the scarring had been there, but another notable marking was on the right side of her face, slightly overlapping her eye and eyebrow before thinning out the further it reached down her cheek. The scars on her legs were especially visible since she wore shorts, but Brigitte had also recalled seeing some on her elbow and inner forearm. They were highly asymmetrical, and most of them were particularly large, although Anran didn’t seem to wear them with as much pride as most people would expect. Though they were a visible sign of how endlessly she’d practiced to the point of hurting herself multiple times, they were also indicators of missteps. Dealing with fire was as dangerous as anyone could expect, and even someone as unyielding to limits as Anran found herself slipping up, undoubtedly having given herself all of those scars due to some sort of careless move or mistake.
“Sorry, it shouldn’t take too long to cool off, though. You can take as long as you want, it’s not like I’m going to need that cup back right away.” She smiled, surprised to see Anran managing a small grin in return. “Guess I’ll leave you guys be for the night. See you both tomorrow!”
“Goodnight!” Wuyang cheerfully replied.
“Later,” Anran added, much less enthusiastic.
Even though she wasn’t her usual self, the Anran that Brigitte had become familiar with was still somewhat audible in that farewell, fighting to resurface, but not having the strength to do so. Tomorrow’s another day, and another chance to help out.
Brigitte returned to the kitchen to make sure she’d cleaned everything up before heading off to her bedroom. Hana was already laying on the spare mattress that sat on the other side of the room, a makeshift bed that she’d been sharing with Juno since they arrived at the workshop, but the other girl was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey, Hana,” Brigitte greeted her simply, going through drawers to get ready for bed.
“Juno is taking a bath,” Hana explained, as if having read her mind. She seemed to have a sort of talent for knowing what other people wanted to hear, likely something that came from her years spent in fame. Brigitte didn’t mind that, but something she did mind…
“Hana, I said you can’t bring chips into the bedroom! Fika will get into the trash and make a mess.”
The green chip bag that sat on Hana’s lap already seemed to be empty, the paper wrinkled all over like she was about ready to throw it away. Traces of crumbs were slightly visible on the girl’s fingertips.
Hana waved a hand dismissively. “This is a flavor she wouldn’t even like, so it doesn’t really matter!”
“She’s still going to try and get it…” Brigitte sighed, squinting at Hana in disapproval.
“Ooookay.” She decided not to argue after all. Crushing the bag between her hands and folding it into a messy ball, Hana rose to a stand and hopped off of the bed, heading for the door with the bag squeezed in hand. Brigitte watched her leave before getting back to changing her clothes. I can’t believe I still have to remind people how much trouble these cats like to stir up. She didn’t linger on the thought for much longer, feeling comfortable in the soft white fabric of her pajamas as she climbed into her own bed and dug around in the covers for the light remote. Finding it to be closer than she was expecting, Brigitte shut down the main light on the ceiling and activated the lamp next to her desk on its lowest setting, giving the room a slight orange glow that was soothing enough to fall asleep in, but bright enough to provide some vision for anyone who may get up in the middle of the night. Though Brigitte herself actually slept better in pitch darkness, the other two girls really liked the lamp, so she made a habit of turning it on before going to sleep, bringing a sort of shared peace to the room throughout the night.
Hana would return a minute later, and Juno would walk in no more than ten minutes after that. Before long, the three of them drifted into their dreams, a decent night’s sleep washing over all of them. Despite the sudden change of location, Juno had been settling in quite well, and Hana, though bummed with how little space she had to play video games, didn’t throw much of a fit over it. At the rate things were going, the new Overwatch was already learning and growing leaps and bounds ahead of how it once was. Before sleep could officially claim her, Brigitte found herself thinking about how fortunate it was that both Anran and Wuyang hadn’t been driven away from joining Overwatch despite the abrupt chaos that unfurled during their arrival. So many things could have gone terribly wrong, but through it all, the group had survived. Something tells me you’re always like this, knowing your own limits but deciding to push them anyways. Your brother has your back, but I’ve got your back too, you just don’t know it yet…
Training with Zarya was never anything other than intense, but with the way she encouraged everyone, keeping them in high spirits and focusing on each persons’ individual strengths, it was hard to feel tired out with so much positive energy.
Zarya stood in the front of the testing room, arms crossed over her chest, making sure each person was accounted for as Brigitte, Hana, Anran, Wuyang, Juno, Mei, and Lúcio were vaguely lined up in two rows before her. Brigitte already knew why they were all here, but she couldn’t recall having been told that Lúcio would also be joining them.
“Now, everyone!” Zarya gave each person a look before proceeding. “Are we ready for today’s weight training? This one is all about teamwork, but also about strength, so do not think you can rely on your partner to do all of the work.” She pointed a finger to both Anran and Wuyang, then gestured to Juno briefly. “New recruits, we’re going to show you how it’s done around here. And Juno, you haven’t trained with me yet before, so this is new for you as well, even if you are not the newest member of Overwatch anymore.” The woman smiled proudly. “So much youth on our team, I decided to bring our youngest members here to assist you with today’s exercise.”
“Excuse me, Zarya?” Juno spoke up, waving a hand as non-offensively as possible. “You said we’re working in teams? Do we get to choose our teams?”
“A great first question,” Zarya observed. “But no, I have already made my decision for how the six of you will be paired up.”
“Six?” Hana raised an eyebrow. “Are there not seven of us standing here?”
The woman raised a fist, the power in her punch still obvious despite the fact she’d only swung at the air. “We may be training, but that doesn’t mean we cannot also have fun!”
Lúcio held out his phone, pointing it at one of the corners of the ceiling. “The other day, Reinhardt helped me convince Torb to set up a serious sound system in here. Now, it’s not as state of the art as other systems, but I think y’all are gonna like it. Training to some tunes; sounds like a great time, doesn’t it?”
Only now did Brigitte realize that there were a few changes made to the room. Two large speakers were positioned on the upper corners of the frontside wall, and a smaller sound bar was set up at the very back. Huh, feels even more homey despite already being a literal home. Maybe it’s a good thing they only built something like this now, I probably would have been abusing it a little when I was a kid.
“Oh no, we’re not going to be dancing for our training, are we? I do not know any of the moves aside from what Hana taught me!” Juno fretted immediately.
“Relax, little one. There will be no dancing.” Zarya returned to her idle posture, arms crossed and expression solid. “You will be split into two groups. Group one!” She nodded to each person as she listed them off. “Brigitte, Wuyang, Mei. And group two! Hana, Juno, Anran.”
Though Zarya hadn’t even said anything else, the six found themselves silently gravitating towards each other, Brigitte moving away from Juno–who she had been standing next to–and instead placing herself behind Wuyang while Mei stood on her left.
Seemingly ignoring the sudden compliance, Zarya carried on, “First, we must warm up! Lúcio, hit that stereo! It’s time to stretch!”
The group had only been stretching for five minutes, but not only were they all rather pumped up, it was clear who had been slacking on their training recently.
“Wuyang, you’re seriously tired already?” Brigitte heard Anran comment from her side of the group.
Sides heaving and face damp with sweat, Wuyang raised his head from his position as he threw a look at his sister. “And you aren’t?”
“We haven’t even started the actual exercise yet–”
“Do not be so discouraging,” Zarya spoke up over the music. “Today’s workout is all about lifting each other up… in more ways than one!” Clapping her hands together with heft, Zarya slowly walked the line between the two groups. “Let me explain what we will do today.”
As each person settled into a more relaxed sitting position, much different from the tense back stretches they’d been performing seconds earlier, Brigitte shot a glance towards Anran. She sat at the very front of her group, so Brigitte could only see the back of her, but the posture she held was telling enough without any need to see her face. She’s not doing much better, she just knows how to hide it… I want to say something, but what would I say?
“Your groups will take turns lifting each other up. Group one, you will be the instructors, the example that group two has to follow. I want to make sure each of my new recruits is paired up with a person that already has experience. So!” Beckoning for everyone to stand, Zarya returned to the front of the room. “Wuyang, your partner will be Hana. Brigitte, your partner will be Anran. Mei, your partner will be Juno. Sound good to you all?” Nobody had even moved or nodded before she continued. “Great, now get in your pairs!”
As Wuyang moved away from the front of the group to go be beside Hana, Brigitte gradually took his place and found her spot next to Anran, hesitant to meet her gaze at first, but easing up when she saw the lack of hostility on her face.
“Glad I’m not being paired up with him for once,” she muttered half to herself as she faced Brigitte. “He’s really been slacking on his training, trying to cut corners…” Her voice dropped to a whisper that was no longer audible, so Brigitte leaned a bit closer. “...my fault, too.” The only words she could make out under the sound of the speakers.
“Don’t say that, nothing is your fault!” Brigitte reassured her even if she hadn’t heard everything that had been said.
“I’m so relieved to be working with you, Auntie!” Juno’s voice came from further back, completely overpowering what Anran had said next.
Blinking, Brigitte frowned. “Can you say that again?”
Anran fell into a pensive expression as she shut her eyes, shaking her head and turning away all at once. She wasn’t going to repeat herself. Although she wanted to ask again, Brigitte knew it was best not to push. Fortunately, Anran didn’t appear to be lightheaded like she was last time, but she clearly was far from her best. Irritable and physically exhausted was a combo that never ended well no matter who was involved, so Brigitte withdrew and returned her focus towards Zarya.
“Lúcio, over here,” the older woman beckoned to the DJ as he strolled across the room. “Group one, observe.”
Without any hesitation, Zarya lifted Lúcio up off of the ground, effortlessly tossing him over her shoulder, getting a quiet “woah” out of him as she did so.
“There are many methods to carry another person. You can try any method that works best for you, but once you have the hang of it, we will race.” Slowly, Zarya knelt down as she put Lúcio back on the floor, steadying him with an arm. “Ready?”
“Don’t you dare drop me!” Hana shouted as the pairs began to focus on each other.
“Of course I won’t!” Wuyang yelled back.
Anran watched the two of them for a moment before turning her attention back to Brigitte. “This shouldn’t be difficult for you.”
Rising to a stand, Brigitte grinned reassuringly. “Not at all. You probably weigh as much as my shield.” Brushing strands of hair out of her own face, she waited for Anran to meet her stance. “Do you mind how I carry you?”
“Mm, not over the shoulder please.”
“Sure thing, how about this?”
Extending both arms, Brigitte swept Anran off of the floor in one fast motion, raising her up to her chest as she lifted her, one hand supporting her back while the other held steady under her knees.
The gasp the other woman let out was short and soft, but Brigitte had clearly heard it, even in spite of the speakers and their upbeat music.
“Fine.” Her tone was so devoid of enthusiasm that it was almost comical.
Brigitte hadn’t forgotten how Zarya had mentioned the teams would be racing, and surely carrying Anran on her back would in fact be easier if she had to run, but she didn’t feel the need to win. Holding you like this, I can get a better idea of how you’re feeling. Adjusting her arms to keep Anran as steady as possible, she glanced over her shoulder at the other two pairs.
Juno was clinging to Mei’s back, her legs resting over her shoulders as she chattered happily. Wuyang on the other hand seemed to be receiving an earful as he held Hana in a similar way to how Brigitte held his sister.
“Tokki would never drop me!” the girl insisted, her expression cross.
“Forgive me for not being a machine designed to carry people!” Wuyang declared, though not deciding to comment any further.
“Turn me around a little?” Anran suddenly spoke up, her voice not nearly as distant and harsh as it had been before.
With no reason to disobey, Brigitte turned on her heels so that Anran could see what was happening as well.
“Wuyang, just carry her on your shoulders, it’s easier!” she shouted almost immediately.
Doubly singled out now, Wuyang stared at Anran, then at Brigitte, then back at Hana before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Okay, okay!”
I’m just going to do him a little favor… Brigitte stepped back, turning again so that Anran couldn’t properly see her brother anymore. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how did you feel after that tea from last night?”
“It was fine,” Anran answered so bluntly it could have stung. When Brigitte didn’t speak up again right away, Anran sank into the silence uncomfortably, her intense expression starting to soften up as the followup she was expecting never came. “It helped, it was nice of you…” She hesitated further as her eyes lifted to the ceiling for a brief moment. “But I’m perfectly fine today. You don’t have to try and watch my back. A headache is nothing new to me, and it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
A part of Brigitte knew that this was Anran telling herself that she could survive on her own without help, but another part of her felt rejected, even if all she had done was keep an eye on her per Wuyang’s request… and maybe of her own free choice as well. She really did want to help, knowing how much pain and stress Anran was likely under at the time, but how much could she help without accidentally crossing a line? How much until she became suspicious of what Brigitte knew about her? It really feels wrong to keep this a secret, but if confronting it will just make her more agitated, I’d much rather not have that.
“You know, you’re always trying to look out for Wuyang, but don’t you think someone should be looking out for you?” Though she kept the words casual, Brigitte could feel herself saying it with her chest. You can’t rely on yourself, didn’t you learn that back when we first brought you to Overwatch? You could have been seriously hurt had the others not intervened.
The cold stare that Anran returned to her was somewhat expected at this point, but Brigitte remained firm, even when Anran spoke. “I’m responsible for myself.” For all of the fire that Anran consumed herself in, her reply was almost like frostbite, an unfriendly chill that gnawed and gnarled.
“And in the case that you can’t take care of yourself? What then?” The remark was almost accusatory, but Brigitte rounded it off with a smirk. Some part of her deep down wanted to provoke Anran just to prove her point, but before anyone could get another word in, Zarya’s voice filled the room once more.
“Alright, everyone line up right here!”
Unable to get the last word in, Anran left Brigitte with a brief sneer before she turned her attention back to Zarya. The three pairs prepared to line up side by side, looking between each other readily. Both Wuyang and Mei carried their teammates on their backs while Brigitte remained the only one holding her duo in front of her. It was almost embarrassing how much she stood out, but she simultaneously felt a sense of pride in it.
Something about holding Anran–the unstoppable force that would burn through the entirety of her own fuel and still somehow have the energy to surge onward–in her arms like this inspired a sense of pride in her. It was like holding an open flame in the palm of her hand and not once being burned.
“You will each do three laps, to the end of the room and back counts as one lap. If you drop your teammate, you are disqualified! Understood?” Lifting her chin, Zarya made sure to meet everyone’s gaze. Brigitte didn’t flinch at all when Zarya got to her, she knew there was not a chance that she’d be allowing Anran to fall. “Remember, three laps, the first to complete it wins! What is your prize? Nothing, it is for fun! Now, on my count…”
Wuyang caught Brigitte’s eye for a moment, a surprised expression on his face as he met her gaze before quickly redirecting his focus again. I’m surprised too, trust me, she wanted to say.
“Get ready… Three. Two.”
Anran’s shoulders tensed ever so slightly.
“One! GO!”
Brigitte managed a strong lead right away, though it didn’t take Wuyang long to fall into stride next to her, Hana exclaiming “go!” every few seconds as he pushed ahead. She still managed to stay ahead of Mei, but her lead was slipping away already, after all, Hana had to be much lighter than Anran, and Wuyang was known for being agile. Nevertheless, Brigitte carried on, determined to at the very least not once let her grip slip. Sure, Wuyang could have the greater lead, but if he got sloppy, he could easily lose the race entirely by letting Hana fall. Brigitte didn’t want to imagine how awkward that would look, nor how much it would likely hurt, so she grit her teeth and refocused on her goal. She had already reached the other side of the room, Wuyang still a decent distance ahead as he’d already begun his return to the front, so she kept on, clutching Anran steady as ever.
“You’ll never catch up to him at this rate,” the girl in question commented.
Taken aback, Brigitte shot a displeased glare at her. “He’s carrying Hana, you know! Hana, who is notoriously small and probably weighs nothing!”
“Not an excuse!” Anran reiterated.
“Want me to drop you?”
“You wouldn’t.” The audacity in Anran’s response was nothing new or surprising, but Brigitte felt she ought to return some of that audaciousness back to her.
“Yeah. I’d hate to drop someone so beautiful.” She kept the words soft, hushed enough to know only Anran could hear them, and when no quick reply was returned to her, she couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction. It was only meant to be a tease, something to get Anran off of her case, and it had most definitely worked. You probably get that a lot anyways.
Even after a few seconds, Anran still hadn’t bit back with a response, and the lack of flat out rejection to her quick tease was enough to give her an inkling of an idea that she’d (unfortunately) have to put a pin in for now. While she never managed to catch up to Wuyang and Hana, Brigitte took her place in second after the race had ended, her heart now pounding from more than just the physical activity. Wuyang had nearly dropped Hana as soon as he stopped running, but he was lucky to be standing within reach of Zarya, who offered a helping hand to stabilize them both.
Gently, Brigitte allowed Anran to stand on her own as she knelt down slightly, the other woman still having not spoken a word since that comment from earlier. At least now she appeared to be distracted by her brother’s nonsense again, for her head was turned away and her attention seemed split. Catching her breath and rolling her shoulders slowly, Brigitte sank further into her satisfaction. Whether or not Anran had figured it out yet, she seemed to have made it apparent now that her assistance wasn’t something to be brushed off so easily. Anran could give her disgruntled looks and make bitter comments all she wanted, she could keep up the lie about her health, and Brigitte would still be there to land a hand, to offer any form of support that was needed. It really was a sort of beautiful coincidence that the two of them had been paired up for today’s training, though Brigitte could still see herself having found ways to keep an eye on her even if that weren’t the case.
“Everybody did great work!” Zarya’s commanding voice returned from the front of the room, retrieving Brigitte’s attention from the depths of her own mind. “That is the first part of the exercise finished, now let’s move on to part two! You will switch roles with your partner, so group two will now have to carry group one!”
“Wha–Wait, can I switch partners with someone else?” Hana jokingly protested.
“What?!” to nobody’s surprise, Wuyang followed up almost immediately after.
Zarya shook her head sternly. “No, you must trust in your teammate like they trusted in you.” Raising a finger, she continued, “Just because the person you will be carrying is bigger and heavier than you doesn’t mean you cannot do it! With the right technique, and hard work, you will do it. This time when we race, it will only be one lap from front to back instead of three. Sound good?”
“So, hope you’re not planning on dropping me,” Brigitte couldn’t help herself from the playful murmur that she sent in Anran’s direction.
The girl whipped around to face her instantly, unamused in the way her brows had lowered sharply. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Really? You would?” Slightly astonished by the abundance of hostility in Anran’s tone, she began to wonder if she should have refrained.
Surprisingly, Anran threw a quick smirk at her before turning away again, a brief yet potent look that had immediately declared its place within Brigitte’s head as almost a sort of core memory. The fact that it had barely lasted a second, and yet she could have sworn it went on for so much longer. How the corner of her lips had twitched up for a mere beat, that small motion being enough to bring a look to her face that could have been equally intimidating as it was captivating. That touch of softness being visible in her normally intense gaze and the way it had managed to prod at Brigitte’s heart. Unbelievable, how something so small could be enough to make a person blush.
More than anything, Brigitte was just relieved that Anran seemed to have cheered up a tad, though she was already starting to hope that their little back and forth wouldn’t end so soon. While I can’t do anything to get your medication back, I can at least try to make you smile.
Their exchange had been quiet, and didn’t last particularly long, so by the time Zarya had told everyone to ready up, Anran had already been looking away.
“What if I’m not strong enough to carry you?” she overheard Juno wail from somewhere behind.
Mei’s calm voice followed. “Didn’t you hear what Zarya said? I believe in you, Juno! Just give it a try first, you can’t be so afraid if you haven’t made an attempt at it yet!”
“Ohhh… you make a very good point. I shall try my best!”
“Yeah, you got this!” Wuyang suddenly added.
The wave of positivity managed to sweep Brigitte up as well, bringing her to cheer, “Don’t give up, Juno!”
“You’re capable, Juno.” Even Anran decided to chime in, much to Brigitte’s surprise. Looking down at her, she felt herself grinning.
“Th-Thank you, everyone!” Though she was reassured, the young girl sounded on the verge of tears.
Anran eventually returned Brigitte’s gaze, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. “What’s that look?”
“Oh, nothing! Nothing at all.” The fact she managed to stop herself from chuckling was either some sort of miracle or a sign that she should get into gambling.
Not bothering to push back, Anran made her way in front of Brigitte where she stood with her back turned. “You’re getting carried on my back, non-negotiable.” Already back to business. Everything’s so serious with you, does it really have to be?
Sighing in defeat, Brigitte approached, placing one arm on Anran’s shoulder readily. Though she was quick about it, she’d managed to lift her with little ease, her bent arms having to readjust themselves a handful of times before getting a comfortable grip on her legs. Brigitte may not have been that much taller than her, but she was certainly heavier considering her muscle mass. Still, if Anran was struggling any more with this, she would have to be hellbent on not letting anyone figure that out.
Adjusting her posture one last time, Anran took a few steps forward, likely gauging the difficulty of the upcoming race before steadily making her way towards Wuyang and Hana. As they arrived, Wuyang almost looked relieved.
“Hey, sis, ready to lose to Team WaveRabbit twice?” he goaded.
“WAVERABBIT?!” Hana, who was crouched on the floor for reasons Brigitte couldn’t understand, blurted in disbelief. “Since when did we have a team name? And since when was it THAT bad?!”
Being discouraged almost instantly, Wuyang stared down at her with a frown. “What? Really?! I thought WaveRabbit made sense because water, and your thing is rabbits, right?”
“Hana, what’re you doing on the floor?” Brigitte interrupted before Wuyang could be humiliated any further. Whatever Anran’s planning on saying to him is probably going to be even worse. Best to spare him now while I still can.
“I was trying to tell Wuyang to climb on my shoulders, but he kept getting too shy to do it! It’s like he’s scared he’ll crush me!” Some of Hana’s words were clearly exaggerated, but there was still a hint of genuine irritation.
“Wuyang,” Anran’s voice finally broke amidst the arguing. “How do you expect to beat me in this race if you can’t even properly participate?” Brigitte couldn’t see her face, but the exhaustion in Anran’s tone was alarmingly audible. With a worried look, she sought Wuyang’s gaze, and sure enough, he’d noticed it too.
“I… I mean, you’re right, but…” He hesitated further, searching for some sort of solution as he looked to Brigitte again, but coming up empty when she wasn’t sure what to say either. “You’re right! Let’s just get this done as fast as we can!” Hands reaching out, he stood behind Hana. “Okay, I’m ready to be picked up!”
Shaking her head, Anran finally withdrew, walking away from the duo as she aimlessly paced in half-circles around the front of the room.
The last thing Brigitte wanted to do was make Anran more upset, but she’d resent herself for not speaking up at all. “Hey.”
“I’m fine.”
Like the snap of a broken branch, the words were sharp and instantaneous. She was back to her “ignore her own personal needs and reject everyone else’s help” mode, something that could have infuriated Brigitte if she was in a sour mood herself, but nothing she couldn’t handle. It was so easy, it could have been so easy, to get worked up, allow Anran’s dismissive retorts to get under her skin and bother her. Brigitte almost thought that they already had started to bother her, but she kept herself afloat, knowing that in every bad day, or for every shitty moment of feeling down, that there would be a better day waiting, a day where she would be able to think back about how she reacted to those bad times and either feel regret for poor decisions, or relief that she’d maintained her composure. In almost every instance, Brigitte was able to keep this in mind, to not say words she didn’t mean, to not make choices out of bitterness and discomfort. A brighter horizon was coming sooner or later, getting sad or angry never meant that it was the end of the world. Whatever it was that Anran wanted to throw at her, Brigitte was immovable, resistant to that temper in a way that kept herself from getting angry, but also kept Anran from feeling provoked.
“I heard you,” Brigitte quietly replied. “You’re fine.”
“I am.” She almost sounded stubborn now rather than annoyed, like she wanted to convince herself much more than she was trying to convince Brigitte. A slow, heavy inhale passed through her body, one Brigitte clearly felt with how she was pressed so closely against Anran’s upper back. The breath felt strangely weak for something that was intended to be so strong, yet Brigitte refused to comment any further. Wuyang said we should get this over with fast… He probably knows that Anran will just continue to resist any acknowledgment of her not feeling well, so the sooner this exercise stuff is finished, the sooner she can get the chance to recover.
Quickly turning to assess the rest of the room, Brigitte was relieved to see Hana had finally lifted up Wuyang, though it was clear she was struggling with the way her back bent so far forward. Juno on the other hand was simply holding onto Mei’s arms from underneath while the woman was partially slouched on the floor. Not quite the same idea of “lifting someone up” but I guess it works? Everyone seemed to be ready to go, even if it was obvious that group two had a much harder time with this task than group one. Zarya had been speaking with Lucio, so she didn’t seem to notice that the pairs were awaiting her instruction.
Thinking fast, Brigitte raised her chin, careful not to shout directly into Anran’s ear. “Let’s get this race started! Bet you can’t beat our team!”
“Not even fair, you got the strongest person in group two! It’s rigged!” Hana protested as she got into position.
Back to focusing on the groups, Zarya quickly walked past each pair, examining them with a brief lookover before pausing at the end and clapping her hands together once. “Remember, only one lap! There and back, ready?”
Each member of group two exchanged eager glances, that usual look of worry being completely absent from Juno’s face for once. In fact, it was like she and Hana had swapped faces almost, with the other young woman looking particularly displeased. Wuyang still clung to her awkwardly, his eyes looking everywhere except for at Anran, naturally.
“In three!” Zarya began the count. “Two! One!”
There wasn’t a doubt in Brigitte’s mind that from the moment Zarya shouted “Go!” that anyone else would be able to catch up to Anran at all. Somehow, she’d broken into what could have been considered a sprint, as if Brigitte wasn’t even on her back at all, and as they had already made it halfway across the room, the sound of a thump caught everyone’s attention, though it was not enough to get Anran to stop running. Checking over her shoulder, Brigitte saw that Hana had completely fallen down, flat on the floor with Wuyang pushing himself off of her, worry weighing heavily on his face. On the opposite side, Juno was moving rather slowly, but she was also just… dragging Mei along the floor as she attempted to run backwards. Brigitte looked straight ahead again, seeing that they’d already reached the other side of the room and Anran would be turning around any moment now. A hilarious image this must all be for Zarya and Lúcio: one pair having collapsed, another pair just looking silly in general, and the third pair being the only one to actually get anywhere.
On the rush back, Anran slowed, knowing nobody else would be able to threaten her lead. Brigitte still held closely to her, picking up on the faint feeling of sweat through her clothing, relieved to know that after they’d reached the front of the room, Anran could finally take her break.
“I’m changing teams!” Hana’s announcement drew Brigitte’s attention suddenly. The gamer girl was spotted running across the room towards Juno and Mei as she haphazardly reached out to lift Mei’s legs from the ground.
“You can’t do that!” Wuyang gasped as he stared on in shock. “That’s–” His eyes landed on Anran, then Brigitte. “Dang it, of course you win like it’s nothing.”
“Relax, it is not so serious,” Zarya reminded him as she approached his side. “We have our winner for round two! What prize? Nothing, again! Haha! Everyone did great work today.” She squinted at Hana, who was still attempting to team up with Juno as they rearranged the way they carried Mei. “Well, except for when she abandoned her teammate.”
“It’s alright,” Wuyang admitted, “Maybe next time I should get paired up with someone else instead?”
“We will see about that.” Zarya’s hand landed roughly on top of Wuyang’s head, thoroughly disrupting his hair. “Training is over for the day!” she announced to the rest of the room. With that last declaration of dismissal, Lúcio turned the speakers down, the music reduced to nothing but faint background noise now.
Brigitte felt herself being lowered to the ground, so she reluctantly released Anran from her hold, returning to standing on her own. As soon as she’d put Brigitte down however, Anran took her leave from the room in record time, vanishing out the door without even turning to face anyone else. As concerned as she was, Brigitte chose not to follow her, instead coming up to confront Wuyang.
“Hey, got a minute now?” she asked, getting straight to the point in hopes that this conversation could be done as soon as possible.
“Uh, yeah?” He didn’t seem to notice his sister had disappeared already, but as Zarya went off elsewhere, Brigitte was sure to lower her voice before speaking again.
“You spoke to Captain Chase about the medication?”
“Oh, right! That, yes, I did do that. She said uh… Well…” Wuyang ran a hand through his hair briefly, not helping much with how Zarya had just ruffled it up moments earlier. “I begged her not to tell anyone else about it, and she told me she wouldn’t until the situation was under control. So… once Anran gets her meds back, the word’s going to come out.”
“Are the meds coming back? Did you find a solution to that?” Brigitte figured she should have clarified on that part sooner.
“About that… Ah, when I brought it up, she really didn’t want to hear it from me, so she had me bring Anran in to talk about it herself…” Wuyang winced as he recalled further. “I told my sis that it was just a little routine check up, and she was not happy with me when the meeting was over… But she filled the captain in on what the drug is called, how often she needs to take it and such. It was pretty rough, I mean I would have thought Anran was gonna be relieved to let someone else know what she was going through… but she just sounded miserable throughout it all. I honestly feel kinda bad now, maybe I shouldn’t have lied or said anything about–”
“No, Wuyang, don’t say that,” Brigitte interjected pointedly. “I know it feels bad right now, but it’s helping in the long term, remember that. Your sister didn’t want to ask for help when she clearly needed it. There’s nothing wrong with you going to find that help in her stead, alright?”
Still uncertain, Wuyang slowly met Brigitte’s gaze. “Yeah, alright.” He nodded, letting the concern on his face gradually ebb away. “There was another thing about how Overwatch isn’t entirely in the clear yet, and that it might take some… extra time for Anran’s meds to arrive here. I’m hoping it won’t take more than a week, but… Huh, did she already leave?”
Brigitte did a quick sweep of the room even though she already knew Anran had left. “Looks like it. Think she’s just trying to hide?”
“Definitely,” agreed the boy. “I’ll find her in a little while, but yeah, that’s the situation… Just wish it could have gone better.”
“You did your best, so let’s just keep at it, right? Let’s keep doing our best.” Brigitte smiled as she stepped away. “She’s always trying to look out for you. Nothing wrong with you looking out for her, too.”
“R-Right, of course!”
Nighttime had never been so agonizing, so dreadful, so restless.
Dammit.
She had already thrown up less than an hour ago, and yet her stomach was back at it again, twisting itself into knots that made her want to hurl on the spot, but simultaneously kept her frozen in place.
Dammit!
Rolling onto her left side again, Anran stared blankly at the cushions of the couch she was curled up on. Falling asleep felt downright impossible. She should be tired, she told herself. After the exercises she’d done today, the weight training, the cardio, the abdominal routine, and despite it all, the comforting touch of sleep evaded her as if she were sick with the plague. The hushed snores and murmurs of the other Overwatch members in the room overlapped all around her, most others sleeping on the floor in bundles of blankets and pillows like her brother was, but some having been situated on mattresses and couches as well.
How embarrassing, taking up a couch that I can’t even manage to fall asleep on. I should just go sleep outside. Anran blinked at her own thoughts. Yeah right, and then freeze to death? She stared on. Yeah, you’d deserve it.
Every attempt she had made to just close her eyes and space out had always ended with her somehow having her eyes wide open and her mind wild as ever. So many things needed to be done. If she couldn’t sleep through the night, she might as well use that time to go and get things done. But what needs to be done? Her brain slammed the brakes on itself. Everything needs to be done. Right now. Just get to it. Get up!
With a grunt, Anran pushed herself off of the couch, sneaking across the dark room and making her way to the bathroom. The lightbulb above the sink was starting to get familiar now, far too familiar. The sink, the floormat, the toilet, the shower in the corner, all of it was unreasonably familiar. How many hours she’d spent sitting on the floor of this very room, somewhere between dazed and conscious enough to feel pain, the number would only increase, she knew that much. So glad this isn’t happening during my fucking period, I don’t even want to imagine what that would be like.
Finding her reflection in the mirror, she sighed before she could even take in the full sight. Obviously disheveled, overwhelmingly unwell, her face was a miserable sight to behold. Brigitte really had to be joking about calling you beautiful. Hands tense, she pulled at her hair this way and that, attempting to make herself look better, but only ending up tangling her hair even further.
Disgusted with herself, Anran left the bathroom minutes later, shutting off the light twice, then a third time, then a fourth just to be sure as she closed the door behind her. Nobody would know she was in there if she’d left it how it was earlier. The sickening feelings in her stomach had taken a backseat as her mind occupied itself with other concerns, other stressful matters that had to be done before she could do anything else. Back in the main room, she readjusted her blankets on the couch before making another attempt at sleep. As expected, it couldn’t last. Tossing and turning herself awake, Anran rolled off of the couch altogether, the thud that came as she made contact with the floor being enough to wake her brother.
“...Anran? You’re still awake?” his drowsy voice came from somewhere in the dark.
“Not for long,” she answered automatically, not even thinking about the words that had left her own mouth. I shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch. “Switch with me. Go sleep on the couch.”
“What, why?” Wuyang asked, now sounding much more awake.
Anran found his leg in the dark and pulled at it, dragging him up with her as she stood from the floor. “Get up.”
“Hey!” His exclamation was hushed.
Anran ignored his protest and managed to shove him up onto the couch before immediately sinking down onto the floor again and only partially covering herself with the blanket Wuyang was formerly wrapped up in. “Goodnight.”
“Uh, okay? Goodnight, I guess…” The silence went on for a moment, but Anran didn’t feel any closer to sleep. “Are you okay?” Wuyang spoke up again.
No. She said and did nothing, staying half buried in the blanket as she attempted to shut out the world and her own thoughts and make room for exhaustion in her mind. Weird how she had to accommodate her drowsiness instead of fighting it off like usual. Annoying if she was being fully honest with herself. Everything seemed to annoy her lately. Waking up was annoying because sleep felt unfulfilling. Eating was annoying, the way some things on her plate didn’t match in certain ways her brain couldn’t properly articulate. Training, the one thing that she knew how to do right, that she could do for hours, felt agonizingly annoying as her body–particularly her stomach–begged for her to stop moving. Nothing she could do felt okay, nothing felt correct. The urge to fix something she couldn’t explain was only beginning to worsen the further she progressed into her sleepless night. If she could just get it right, whatever “it” was, she would feel better, she would be okay.
You’re off your meds. You haven’t felt this way in years.
Her reminders to herself only went so far.
You shouldn’t need to be relying on meds to do it right.
The back and forth only carried on from there, being interrupted in small, brief intervals where sleep would manage to snatch her up. If only those moments weren’t so fleeting… the morning would likely feel a lot less awful.
“Hey, Anran!” Hana greeted her with a smile and a playful jab on the shoulder.
“Can you back off?” I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. You’re too close. I’m sorry.
“I… Sorry, sheesh.”
“It’s okay.” It’s not okay. You should never speak to her again after being so rude. This is all your fault.
“Anran, have you seen my book anywhere?” Winston questioned as he passed her in the hall.
Maybe you should keep better track of your own belongings. Anran kept the words to herself, knowing they were too harsh. I’m sorry. She stared at the scientist silently.
“Er, is that a no?” Confused by her lack of reaction, Winston looked away.
Don’t say anything or you’ll screw it all up. Walk away. Just go. Anran took her leave from the hall without uttering a single word.
“Oh, hello, Anran! Would you like to come train with me and–”
She didn’t hear what else it was Juno had said, she was already walking–actually, running–away. I’m in no shape to train. I can’t put up a good example like this, and then Juno could get hurt, and it’ll be all my fault. Once her legs had stopped moving, she reconnected with reality, only to find herself in that bathroom again. I’m going to be sick.
The day had been a horrible, uncomfortable blur to her, and by the time the afternoon was beginning to dissolve into the evening, Anran had been wandering around the most empty of rooms to avoid other members of Overwatch. I can’t snap at anyone. I can’t hurt anyone. Tonight, I’m going to sleep, and I’m going to wake up, then feel much better, and I will be ready to be back to normal. I’m going to sleep, and I’m going to wake up, and I will be back to normal. I’m going to sleep…
A loud buzz startled her out of her cycle of thoughts.
Turning with widened eyes, Anran spotted the dryer, put two and two together, then took a breath of relief. She had completely forgotten when she arrived in the laundry room, and she wasn’t going to bother thinking about how long she’d spent in there. Long enough to avoid hurting others, was the conclusion she forced herself to come to.
The door–being without a knob or handle–simply swung open, Brigitte walking into the room and seeming just as surprised at Anran’s presence as Anran was surprised to see her.
“Oh, Anran?” She raised a brow. “What’re you doing in here?”
Say nothing. Leave. Anran remained silent, eyeing the door as Brigitte made her way for the dryer.
“Hiding from your dork brother?”
Against all odds, the comment lured a giggle right out of her, breaking her vow of silence with such ease that it was almost unfair. Brigitte had been one of the most patient people with her ever since they’d first met, unintentionally hurting her would be far worse than usual. No, it’s never unintentional. You know how to make things better, you know how to do it right, you just keep fucking up. You’re not careful enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not fast enough. You have to do better, no excuses.
“I won’t tell him you’re here, promise,” Brigitte added, reaching into the dryer now as she hauled a large blanket out.
“...Need a hand with that?” Anran felt herself asking. It’s just carrying blankets, there’s no way you can screw this up, too.
“I’ve got it, no problem.” Brigitte tossed one blanket over her shoulder, then reached for the washing machine as she dragged another blanket out and threw it into the dryer. “Haven’t seen you around much today, been busy?”
“No, I mean, yes, just not with the usual sort of things.” Anran grimaced, glad that Brigitte wasn’t facing her this time. “Then again, who isn’t busy around here?” I barely did anything useful today while everyone else has been working hard day and night. I should go home.
Brigitte nodded, tuning the dryer up for its new cycle as she kept that other blanket perched lazily over her shoulder. “Eh, good point. It’s good to take a break, though. Working is important, but you can’t work if you don’t get your rest and all that.”
“Hm.” Anran felt her fingers rubbing at each other idly.
“You know, I heard you didn’t get very good sleep last night.” Brigitte turned around at last, a touch of worry on her typically bright face. “Still feeling unwell? I can get you another ginger tea, just say the word.”
“Did Wuyang tell you that?” Anran fussed immediately, but Brigitte wasn’t having it.
“He’s worried about you, that’s all! I have siblings too, worrying about each other when we’re sick is nothing out of the ordinary.”
“He shouldn’t be worried about me. I’ve taken care of myself and him ever since we were kids, there’s no reason that should change.”
“Okay, maybe I don’t get it because I’m not the oldest, buuuuut–” Brigitte dropped a hand on Anran’s shoulder. “You’re just one person, and Wuyang is just one person. You shouldn’t be expected to be doing the work of two people all by yourself, and neither should he. That’s why people take turns sharing the burden. Weighs less on both people when it would normally be too much for one.”
If something happens to Wuyang, it’ll still be my fault. I’m supposed to be his example, I can’t be weak. “You should have stopped while you were ahead. You’re not the oldest, you wouldn’t understand.”
With a sigh, Brigitte let her go, either at a loss for words or waiting for Anran to speak again.
You’ve upset Brigitte now, too. You can’t do anything right. Your self-control is awful, how can you be expected to take care of people when you can’t even take care of yourself?
Anran’s hands curled into fists.
Brigitte was just trying to help. Look at what you did.
“I’m sorry.” The fists released all at once, defeat now clear on Anran’s face, and she knew it. “No, you were right from the start. I’m still feeling a little… off. My fault.” She dared not to look back at Brigitte, just knowing that she was about to walk away.
Instead, Brigitte hadn’t moved at all. When the silence dragged on for what felt like an eternity condensed in sixty seconds, Anran slowly met her gaze, apologetic, but firm in her stance. I’ll apologize again. I’ll make things right.
“Anran,” Brigitte… laughed? What’s so funny? “Anran, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself. It’s not like it’s your fault that you don’t feel great.”
But it is my fault.
“Look, how about I go put this away, check up on some other things I had been working on, and then meet up with you in the kitchen with some more of that ginger tea? Does that sound okay?” Unwavering, unbothered, Brigitte maintained a smile throughout every word she spoke. Anran almost went lightheaded from that sight alone. How someone could be so forgiving towards her felt too good to be true.
“...Yes, that sounds more than okay.” The heavy exhale she let out felt too embarrassingly obvious only after she’d done it, but if Brigitte had noticed it, she didn’t seem interested in commenting.
“Great, I’ll see you again in… I guess half an hour? Does that sound more than okay, too?”
“Yes.” Something about the way that blanket was still draped over Brigitte’s shoulder made Anran feel somewhat… unbecoming. I must be feeling much worse than I thought if I’ve reached the point of being jealous of a blanket. “I’ll see you then.”
Brigitte’s smile remained even as she departed from the room, leaving Anran alone again. Before any thoughts could take control of her mood, she stared at the dryer absentmindedly. The blanket that was tumbling inside must feel so safe, so relieved to have the water thoroughly aired out of it. Maybe I need to take a long shower… Her showers typically only went on as long as five minutes at most, but not once had she felt that a thorough, serious shower had done her wrong. Could I take a long shower before meeting up with Brigitte again? Thirty minutes wasn’t long enough, so she decided against it and instead opted for another typical quick one. The sounds of the shower water hitting the floor, the searing heat of it on her skin, it was one of the only sensations that could ease her lately. While the cleanse was effective, it never stayed for long.
As soon as Anran left the bathroom, now in sleepwear and socks, she already felt the first hints of agitation–the feeling that everything she did was slightly off–creeping up on her nerves. Wandering into the main room, she cast her gaze towards the nearest clock. Twenty more minutes. Fine, then she would find something else to do until then. I can get a lot done in twenty minutes. I can train, I can clean, I can read.
Though the time for sleep wouldn’t be for another hour or two, every makeshift bed in the main room had been made. Blankets squarely sorted in their places, pillows aligned perfectly, stray articles of clothing folded, and extra items lined up next to each space accordingly. Even if I don’t get a good night’s rest, at least everyone else is sure to. She made sure to set up Wuyang’s pillow and blanket on the couch just like usual, keeping her own to the floor right beside it.