Chapter Text
His words made me realize everything I had caused with my coldness. I saw a tear fall down his cheek while he... he smiled sadly. He didn't wipe it away, and he kept looking at me, so I gathered the courage to step closer and wipe it away.
I tightened my grip on the handle of the bag he had given me. Why was I suddenly so afraid? I didn't want him to leave. I wiped his cheek and held his face with my free hand. His skin was soft beneath my rough hands. There were a few freckles on his cheeks; I already knew exactly how many there were. I had them memorized. I felt something wet against my thumb as more tears fell from those beautiful chocolate-brown eyes.
I set the bag on the floor and cupped his face with both hands. I carefully wiped away every trace of tears from his beautiful face. I allowed myself to break the façade of the cold man I pretended to be and gave him a weak smile.
He threw himself into my arms the way he used to, and I completely broke down. I let the tears fall down my cheeks and hugged him back, holding onto him in fear that he would leave my side again. I rested my forehead against his shoulder, and he buried his face in my neck.
We stayed like that for a while, until I felt his body beginning to relax. I bent down to pick up the bag from the floor and led Tyler inside. I left the plastic bag on the dining table and guided Tyler to my bedroom.
God, this place is a mess.
I laid him down on my bed and covered him with a blanket I usually kept there as decoration. I was about to leave when I heard his voice calling me, so I stopped.
"J-Josh, stay with me," he asked, giving me that expression that always managed to convince me.
I walked back to the bed and sat on the edge.
"Lie down with me. There's room," he said, making me laugh a little.
"Anything for you, Ty." I lay down beside him and covered myself with the same blanket.
We stayed silent for a while. I thought he had fallen asleep.
"Josh, what I said out there..." He suddenly spoke, pulling me out of my thoughts. "It's true. I liked you—well, I like you. A lot. But I don't want to fall back into that cycle of 'we're okay, and then we're not' anymore." His lips twisted into a pained, displeased expression. "I just want to know if you feel the same way."
"Tyler."
He lifted his gaze, surprised to hear me call him by his name instead of a nickname.
"I'm not gay. I don't like men."
His expression immediately changed to one of pure pain and sadness, and I saw his eyes fill with tears.
"But... you know what?"
For a moment, I thought about taking it back. About staying quiet and leaving the question hanging in the air. But it was too late.
"I like you. No one else."
Tyler's eyes widened, and his face twisted into that expression that hurt me so much to see. He was about to cry.
"I know it took me too long to accept it, but I like you... no, I love you, Tyler."
I felt my beloved collapse against me.
"Hey, easy, sweetheart." I gently rubbed his back.
Tyler, meanwhile, was a complete mess of tears, sniffles, and emotions. He had never believed he would hear a "I love you" from his Joshua.
"All this time without you around, I was going crazy. You have no idea how much I needed you by my side. I swear I'll change for you. I'll become a better person for you."
Tyler clung to the green-and-yellow sweater they had bought as a matching pair.
"I hate you, Joshua. You have no idea how much I hate you," he said as he leaned closer to my lips.
The curly-haired man realized what he intended and took the initiative, pressing their lips together in a kiss. At first, it was gentle and full of emotion, but the brown-haired man soon turned it into something more desperate and clumsy.
"Easy. I'm right here."
I hadn't even realized that my own tears had started falling.
"Don't let me go again," he begged desperately as he held onto me.
I never imagined I'd end up in this position with Tyler. I'd spent so long repressing what I felt that it was impossible for me to believe he felt the same way.
"That's for sure. I won't let you drift away from me." I kissed his forehead. "Never."
We spent the rest of the afternoon lying there. Tyler fell asleep against my chest, and I simply studied every detail of his beautiful face.
It was already the middle of the night when his phone started ringing. He shifted and let out a small groan but didn't answer. It rang for another thirty seconds before the call ended.
I know I shouldn't have done it, but I checked his phone when I heard messages coming in.
Brendon ♡
Missed call
12:02
"Ty, where are you? It's too late."
12:02
"Tyler, what's wrong? Why aren't you answering?"
12:03
"Tyler, please answer me."
12:05
"Is this because of last night?"
12:05
"Please, Ty. Answer me."
"I don't know what's going on, Tyler. Please answer me."
12:10
Brendon. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before.
"J-Jish?"
I melted when I heard the nickname he'd used for me when we were teenagers.
"What time is it?" He rubbed his eyes, trying to see me in the darkness.
"It's 12:10, Ty. You fell asleep." I smiled at him.
He seemed to think about something for a few seconds before settling back against my chest.
"Can I stay until tomorrow?" He looked up at me, making me smile even more. I loved that angle where his eyes were all I could see.
"You can stay for the rest of your life, 'pretty boy.'" I ruffled his hair, making him let out a little laugh that quickly faded.
"Josh, I need to tell you something."
I felt my heart stop for a moment.
"I... have a boyfriend. His name is Brendon."
I literally stopped breathing. My heart seemed to stop, and Tyler noticed.
"He and I aren't doing well anymore. We fight constantly because... because he's not you."
My soul returned to my body.
I hugged him and kissed his forehead. I think I held him too tightly because he let out a small groan before laughing.
"I heard my phone ringing. I know you saw the messages. Josh, he hasn't meant anything to me for a long time." He began tracing little circles on my chest with his finger.
We both heard his phone ring again. I handed it to him, and he took it reluctantly.
Brendon ♡
"Tyler, I don't know what I did wrong. Please answer."
12:13
"It's because of him, isn't it? The name you keep repeating in your dreams."
12:13
"That Josh guy, right?"
12:15
He showed me the messages on his phone. I watched him type a reply, and I couldn't help but feel relieved.
"Brendon, we're done."
12:16
"I can't keep doing this with you anymore."
12:16
Seen just now
He blocked the contact and turned off the screen.
"Jish," he called.
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
He ran a hand through my curls. He had loved playing with them since we were young.
"And I love you too, Ty."
I kissed him, letting him continue playing with my hair.